BLACK DOG 8

good evening my friends. Sorry I havent been about things have been very....difficult.
but I wanted to share something with you guys...Yesterday I STROKED BINKS!!! and again today. I was so happy. xxx

I hope you are all well. My mental health has been shocking i have been just retreating into myself. refusing to sleep in the bed with hubby and sleeping on the sofa. I just cannot be bothered with anyone..i just want to clean however my arthritis is so bad. My son is home with his friend ( not g/f as she also prefers girls) which is lovely but the adjustment has been hard xxx

Good evening everyone
Annie You’re absolutely right, at least I don’t have to wait a month to get the mammogram done.
Joce I understand about how upsetting it is not to see children and grandchildren, let’s hope that will change soon.
Doodle So glad that your DH is feeling much better. Yes gritting my teeth will have to be how I handle it.
Scaredycat The video of the dog sitting by the waters edge and singing a doggy song sounds very cute. That made me smile.
nanny2507 I don’t think you’ve posted since I joined so hello. I’m not sure what animal Binks is but you sound very happy to have stroked him/her
Hi to BlueSky lavenderzen apologies if I’ve missed anyone.
I had a nasty fall this afternoon. Stepped on the decking and there were some wet leaves. My feet went from under me and I went down with a bang. Luckily I’m ok, just got a bruised lower back and elbow and a bit of a cut on my ankle.
Sleep well everyone x

nanny great to learn you are able to stroke Binks, seems you have his love . Sorry the depression is so severe, how long has this episode been ?

Chrissy you have all our thoughts with you tomorrow, sorry
you fell, damn wet leaves .

I am upset, I was watching SKY news and there was an advert to raise money for the Red Cross, a very worthy cause, but they used photographs of the Aberfan disaster, one of my
Uncle, the village police officer carrying a child out of the ruins, it’s the anniversary in a weeks time .

Just to wish you goodnight.
Chrissy sorry you fell, it’s easily done, hopefully you won’t be too badly bruised. Meant to say don’t worry about having to wait too long for your NHS mammogram
results, as the last couple of times I had mine done, they were back in a week, I was even alarmed to have them back so early but all OK.
Nanny hello from me too, like Chrissy not sure who Binks is?
Hope everybody else is OK tonight.
Sleep well all x

nanny that is real progress with Binks. I can tell you are happy about it. Other than that, things don’t sound so good for you. Are you seeing anyone about your mental health issues at the moment? You sound very low. Take care.
Chrissy sorry you had a nasty accident. Hope you’re not too badly hurt.
I am a little low tonight. DH is fine but a recurrent family worry is troubling me. Never any peace is there ?
Hope everyone has a good sleep tonight.
Take care all.

Oh annie sorry about that news item bringing it all back for you. I know it’s a sorrow that is never far from your thoughts.

Binks is a cat. A slightly feral cat that Nanny has been looking after for a long time. Binks wouldn’t be approached at all at the beginning so for Nanny to be able to stroke him I think is a big achievement.
bluesky hope you have a good night too.
lavender hope you and your DD and DGD are all ok.
Sleep well x

Nanny it’s good to hear from you, sorry you are so low, good news about Binks, well done you did it at last, you need to get some rest the settee is not the best place to do that you need to take care of you.. x

Annie there is alway reminders sadly must be so upsetting for you, sending you a big Hug hope it help a little. X

Chrissy bless you hope you are not hurt too much, I bet you feel it tomorrow. This time of year and wet leaves do course problem, they are very slippery. Hope you sleep well take care..

Doodle so pleased you DH is feeling better, hope you are ok x

Bluesky lavender any one I forgot to mention wishing you all a peaceful nights sleep... ?

Thanks all and hello to all the people I havent chatted to before. This depression has been hanging around since about July. Getting very snappy with people had a huge row at work today. Getting sharp pains in my temples I.m thinking its just stress xx

Yes binks is a fereal he appeared about 9 months ago and in this time he has grown into a very handsome boy. He is now well fed and a beautiful glossy boy. He still hisses when he sees me at first I thought it was aggression but now I think its fear. Im still trying desperately for him to shelter in the kennel but he wont. He now comes to me when I call and I still sit in my front garden talking to him like a weirdo but im in it for the long haul. X

BlueSky we sanitise everything, even our hands after we bring the post in, yes probably overkill but I want to stop this (insert your own &£%&()& here).

Oh Joce I couldn't agree more. Yes, I miss my friend and do see one DS but only from a distance when he drops things off. The rest of the family are only on video calls.

Chrissy what a hassle, makes me angry that they don't listen and understand.

Sardycat we have never had Christmas on our own and the thought is so horrible. I'm planning to make the puddings and get the family to virtually stir them. One Dil has sent lists of what everyone would like for Christmas, far earlier than normal, but I can't think of ordering anything as they may not be here. Thinking of giving them a list and telling them to put on our credit card.

Nanny2507 welcome back but sorry you are finding things so hard at the moment. Good to hear about Binks I think he is good for you.

Chrissy fall sounds horrible, knocks you confidence but let me suggest a positive - DH went a real purler last week and cut his head. He still has aches and pains but I said that it was good news that he didn't break any bones so probably doesn't have osteoporosis. His glass is always half empty and mine half full

Annie when those memories hit you out of the blue it is very powerful.

Doodle I feel for you with the family worries, still pray for you by name every night. My list is getting very long now.

Feeling low today, not too low but decided to ask DH to take friend to hospital appointment for me and stay home. I keep thinking about the friend whose 19 year old son died suddenly a couple of weeks ago, can't get her out of my mind. I think its because I know how she feels and what it is like waiting for the coroner etc. I know she has lots of lovely support but doubt any of them really understand how she feels.

Morning everyone,
Thank you Annie. I remember the Aberfan disaster very well.
BlueSky I seem ok this morning, a bit bruised but not too bad. I’m hoping my results will come through quickly.
Thank you Doodle. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with a family worry, I hope it’s sorted out soon.
Thank you Joce. I’m just a bit bruised.
Nanny Binks has obviously started to trust you now which just goes to show how much love you have shown. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling very low, I hope things get better for you soon.
Nonnie Sorry that your DH had a fall, glad he didn’t do any major damage. I’m sorry that you’re feeling low and that you’re concerned about your friend. I think that you’re right, the only people who can truly know what she’s going through are people who have been in the same position. I don’t know if you’re able to talk to her on the phone or by text, maybe she’s not ready yet.

Leaving home at 2pm for my mammogram, very nervous
Have a good day everyone x

Hi all x

Not raining in Mid Wales, blue sky and sun.

nonnie. Your friend is in much pain and you know that pain,
I was so distressed when writing about my darling daughter as a child for her children. I wrote of her birth and the fact no one knew , my husband was on nights and patrolling a lake ,threats to blow it up, the sister phoned to police station for them to let my husband know, it was announced over all the
police car radio’s in the force, much amusement, as I wrote this I realised her death was also announced over police radio’s

Sending you hugs x

Hi, can I join in? Long term black dog sufferer, aged 56. I've been a gransnet member for a while but not posted before. Finding MN a bit irrelevant these days and soooo bitchy, it sends my anxiety sky high.

Well come Begentle I’m sure others will be along to welcome you soon..

Welcome Begentle all on this thread share, support and understand, anxiety, depression, phobias etc.

Thank you both. I've been having a few rubbish days. My youngest is home from uni with anxiety and I feel useless, unsure how to help. Many other problems too, an ill cat (for nearly three months now), struggling with money, benefits review coming up .. I'll not go on!

Nice to meet you all

Hi Annie how are you today. It must have been very upsetting to suddenly see the images of that day- such sad memories.
Hope you are ok todayxxx
Hello Nanny - pleased to meet you and sorry you feel so low. Blinks is obviously getting to trust you now- I bet once the really cold weather comes he,ll be very glad of the kennel.
Chrissy hopeyour bruises aren,t too bad and that your mammogram went off without a hitch.
Doodle - glad to hear your DH is recovering well. Hope you get peace of mind soon regarding your family worries.x
Nonnie - sorry you are feeling low - your poor friend you must long to see her. You are right nobody really knows how it feels unless like some of us they have lost a beloved child.
Welcome Begentle - I haven’t been here long but everyone has been so kind and understanding.
Sending love to everyone xxx

Evening all. Well I thought I posted earlier obviously not or maybe I posted on the wrong thread? Mystery. Anyway welcome
Begentle you’ll find caring friends here.
Nanny sorry I didn’t remember meeting you before, perhaps because I’ve only recently become a regular on this thread. Binks sounds like a gorgeous cat.
Nonnie I used to feel sorry for myself with children and grandchildren abroad, then I came across so many on here who tragically have lost their children, so I’ve no right to complain.
Have a good evening everybody x

Evening everyone,
Welcome Begentleimnewhere sorry to hear your struggling. They’re such lovely people here, I’m fairly new and they’ve made me feel so welcome.
Joce Doodle Annie lavenderzen Nanny Nonnie Scaredycat and BlueSky* Hope you’re all doing ok (Sorry if I’ve missed anyone out)
So my mammogram is done (it was pretty painful). I asked her how long it would take for the results and she said should be between 2 and 3 weeks so I’m just going to have to knuckle down and get on with it.
Enjoy your evening everyone and sleep well x

Good night and god bless all. Take care, stay safe, love to everyone xx

Evening all.
Well Chrissy it’s done. You just have to wait now. Well done for getting it sorted. You deserve a pat on the back. We are with you. I’m sure it will be fine.?
Bluesky how have you been today?
Scaredycat thank you. My family worries have been going on for years, it’s more of anxiety over a loved family member who has difficulties to cope with. Thank you for caring. Have you been out today?
Begentle welcome. You will find nothing other than kind hearted folk here. I think there are many uni students who are suffering from anxiety at the moment with the COVID situation. Would he/she see a GP about the anxiety?
Annie and Nonnie I have no idea how you cope with your loss other than the fact that somehow you plod on and keep going for those left behind.
Nanny Joce and Lavender hope you are ok
Sleep well all x

nonnie im sorry for your friend and im sorry it refreshes your pain.
annie I hope you are well x
* begentle * welcome
bluesky thats ok im not on here much lately
Hello everyone else and thankyou for your kind words xx

Good night all hope you all have a peaceful night sleep ??

I've suggested she see a gp, but she doesn't like speaking on the phone and you can't see a gp face to face now. I'm trying to give her time to calm down and think things through.

Goodnight everyone.

Morning all. Up early to be able to drink my coffee before the scan but I didn’t enjoy it as much as usual. Anxiety dreams since 4am, the hospital didn’t have a toilet so I went looking for one and I was too late for my appointment! Not worried about the test itself as the ultrasound is quite easy.
Have a nice day x