Do you worry about your health?

I take comfort from the fact that neither of my parents accepted treatment, other than palliative in my father's case, for their final diagnosis of cancer. My mother even refused to let her doctors give her the diagnosis. She departed quite quickly and suddenly at the end. My father was active to the end - even, a couple of days before he died, went hill walking with a friend who had come hundreds of miles to see him. I have 3 stents in my heart but am reasonably fit at 70. My mother and grandmother both died in their mid 70's; my dad at 64. I have no desire to battle a lengthy illness and am 'Do Not Resuscitate' if I have a heart attack. I have an Advance Directive stating my wishes about resuscitation and other possible attempts to keep me alive at a cost I couldn't cope with. I also have a Care Plan in case I lose capacity to make decisions about my care. My family knows where these plans are and the hospital that carried out my angioplasty has a copy too. I must just remember to send a copy to my GP and write my will....

Hope you have good result after your biopsy on Wednesday guest correctly and hope your colonoscopy goes ok with negative results bright52.

As someone who has lived to a reasonably ripe age, I feel privileged to still be here!

I have had ill health all my life but have still achieved a fair bit and as I age, have found depths I didn't know I possessed. Just deal with one problem at a time. It is amazing how much we can cope with and how strong we really are.

I am not wishing anything horrible on you but if the worst happened and you did become ill, how do you know that you wouldn't cope admirably - I bet you would surprise yourself!

I have an operation later this week but have chosen to block it out for the moment and the old adage 'what will be' comes to mind. I can't change anything about the process but can have a positive attitude afterwards. Additionally, people hate moaners, so just stick a (false, if need be) smile on your face and your assumed cheerfulness may just penetrate your skin...

I hope your CBT and possibly counselling helps you - just don't underestimate what you can do!

I'm recently 66 and although mindful of my health I don't worry about it.

I try to eat well, be active and watch my weight - after that it's down to my genes!

Bijou you are indeed an inspiration to us all. Thank you for your wise words on this topic.

52bright I hope your colonoscopy test is negative.

‘9 times out of 10 our worst fears never happen’.

I too suffer from health anxiety and it is awful. People tell you how lucky you are not to have the dreaded disease you fear and that is true but it compounds the guilt you feel. You also know worrying doesn’t help or add an hour to your life! No one with this anxiety wants to be like it. I have had cbt and counselling and know that reassurance doesn’t help at all.
All I would say is try not to be too hard on yourself. You probably are already telling yourself off but it won’t help. Be compassionate. I don’t run to the doctor with every symptom but spend futile hours worrying about them. Distractions, hobbies and deep breathing can help along with medication.
I am still working hard to achieve not thinking about the future and enjoying the present moment and just hope one day I will achieve it.

I worry a bit about Health Issues, but if I am REALLY worried, I would go and see the Doctor. For problems that tend to "go round and round" in my head - I find writing the worry down helps. Firstly, you have to organise your thoughts in order to get them on paper (or PC/Tablet/Phone etc), and having successfully "got" them written down , I find they are "out" of my head, and I can think clearly, or decide for myself what's best to do about it! my biggest problem is that I have a hubby who has much greater health problems than I do - and he would be really distressed if he knew how much I worry (often about him). I don't have others I can talk to. He would hear me talking to friends, either in person or on the phone, as we live in a rural location, and I can't get out without him driving me. Our village has no bus service and I'm partially sighted, so can't get far on my own. We go everywhere together, which is fine by me. My only sister has no patience with anyone who is ill (including her own husband and grown up children) and would simply tell anyone to just "get on with it and stop moaning"!

52bright you just hit the nail on the head for me, my parents died young, one at 50 and one at 62. Given what is now known about heritability of diseases and about epigenetic influences on our health, it's not unreasonable to worry.
I think it's if it becomes obsessive then perhaps it's worth thinking of CBT or counselling. Hope the colonoscopy is reassuring.

I hear you. I think it is a natural process to face our mortality as we age more and more, especially when we can see it, or feel it. I am 63 too and have some irrational worries, but they do not leave me totally anxious or fearful. It helps to have distractions. I love helping to homeschool my grandsons two days a week. That definitely boosts my dopamine and raises my spirits.

Five years ago I wrote this in my journal after I noticed my bare arms while enjoying a spell in the warmth of the sun.

"Skin once smooth now showing the passing of time, small wrinkles like ripples in sand"

Then the following thought came to me

"What is aging but a slow deceleration of doing, into the quiet state of being, and gently sliding toward non existence?"

Writing thoughts and fears in a journal help. It also helps to consciously see what is good in your life. To me it is that experience of joy or contentment and gratitude that helps me make peace with the fact that I am aging and will someday be gone. No need to overly worry. Go with the flow and accept the things we must accept.

Hi Maggie, if you feel well and you don’t have any major problems, live your life without putting bad thoughts about yourself into the universe, once the thought is out there it comes back to you somehow. Enjoy your life you are so lucky to be healthy.???

I’m similar age and according to my Fitbit in excellent health. Still hasn’t stopped me having two serious cancer scares (referred under 2 week rule in both instances) in past 4 months. Latest requires a biopsy on Wednesday and am presently amazingly calm. Perhaps I’m placing too much faith in the contraption on my wrist!

I think there is no point worrying I retired got diagnosed with bowel cancer month later breast cancer had treatment I think when when you have a diagnosis you have no choice but to get on with it and hope for the best we are stronger than you think .

This is very topical for me at the moment. Usually I don't give much thought to my health and rarely see a doctor from one year to the next. However I am undergoing a ct colonoscopy tomorrow because of recent bowel problems. I must admit to a bit of health anxiety at the moment because both my dad and brother died of bowel cancer at aged 59 and 60 respectively and as I am now 68 I can't help having a bit of anxiety. Thank you Bijou for your text upthread. It is enormously encouraging to me both in hearing of your successful treatment and also regarding your attitude to life. I am obviously hoping [and praying] for a negative outcome to these tests but your determination to make the best of life has strengthened my resolve to try and take the same very positive attitude.

Try CBD - There are several you can buy online or in the shops, but I've found an online one (well known, begins with H ) helps me the most. I have the drops, which are peppermint flavoured & easy to take, & they help sleep as well as pain.

Well put MissA.
It`s pointless worrying about something that is out of your controll,that in itself will make you ill.

Ps. Sorry, just read all your posts and realise you're already having counselling so my advice is redundant. Hope the CBT helps.

I'm a retired nurse, in my seventies and in reasonable health. I have known so many people who died young, not just patients but friends and relatives,I just feel privileged to have got to this age relatively unscathed. I do of course dread the thought of dementia or some neurological conditions- certainly don't think cancer is the worst diagnosis. For years I nursed patients in renal failure who required dialysis and was always amazed how they just got with it. Being on dialysis is tough and something the general public know little about unless they know someone in renal failure.
I would suggest your health anxiety is itself a health problem, although a psychological one, and maybe you should consider seeking counselling. Maybe another trip to the GP and see if a referral for counselling is possible.

Start really looking after your body. We all know the obvious things like weigh, drinking too much and smoking. Also find a class you enjoy, yoga, pilates, ty chi, or for something fun and energetic Zuma gold (when it restarts) there are u-tubes covering many subjects. Make sure you walk every day (always wear sunscreen, especially if skin is a particular worry). I'm following Sir Muir Grey's advice on Live Well For Longer (emphasis on the Well). We can't stop worrying (or getting) some illnesses but we must make our bodies as strong as possible. Positively doing something has helped me feel more relaxed about my future health and I hope this might help you. Start today, not tomorrow, good luck.

I am another health worrier. As far as I know I am fit and healthy. Walk miles every week. Have been a vegetarian for over 30 years and enjoy a small glass of gin on a Saturday night. YET every little twinge and itch has me looking it up on the internet to see if I have a life threatening disease. Up until this year I have not worried too much but my fear has grown since lockdown as I feel the sword of Damocles is hoovering over me all the time. DHs eyes glaze over every time I tell him my new health worry which is really stupid as he is the one that is the most at risk of the two of us - no wonder his eyes glaze over.

A lovely friend of mine who is 62 and who has refused to leave her house since the beginning of Covid due to crippling health anxiety, is having a course of CBT and finding it very helpful. Hope you can get some help - it's really a habit of thinking and can be changed.

I used to be fit and healthy and it never crossed my mind that I could or would become ill. Then I did. I wasnt expecting it and just thought I was tired after having a hysterectomy. I can understand where MaggieT is coming from. Any little thing now I get fearful and can sometimes get myself quite anxious. I have regular blood tests and check the results thoroughly and thankfully so far I am stable. It is horrible what your mind can do and I quite often have to give myself a good talking to.

Whatever you think you might do with an awful diagnosis might not be the reality.

I must say over the years I haven’t spent a lot of time worrying about the chance of getting seriously although I always thought it odd that some people said why me when it happened.

Anyway a couple of years ago I got diagnosed with an extremely rare, aggressive cancer. From me being told through a million tests, pre op checks, long intricate surgery and follow ups I have been treated as well as I would had I been the Queen. My treatment and care from the N.H.S. has been superb, so much so that if and obviously I hope that I won’t get a recurrence I know I will get the very best available. Being so ill has been reassuring for me and we are so very lucky to have this wonderful service available to us all.

I agree...as you get older you can’t live in fear, although I do take care of my health because, if nothing else, it impacts my mental wellness. At 78 I’m feeling good, but It’s a work in progress. Yoga, gym, tennis and heavy labour in my vegetable garden - all are part of my ‘keep moving’ regime. Apart from the HRT patch I am not taking any other medication.

But - for peace of mind as the years go by I make sure I have an annual physical with my doctor which includes getting my bloodwork checked. Other ‘preventative’ check ups include twice yearly dental cleanings, annual skin scan with the dermatologist and a bi-annual mammogram. I am also very thankful - and grateful - that my body has hung in there and kept me healthy and active for all these years.

Try CBT. It works wonders for some people. I once knew someone like you, every mark, every blemish she’d be on the phone to another mutual friend crying and wondering if she had cancer. Well she did get cancer and she coped very well with it and the last time I saw her she looked fine. I hadn’t seen her since our sons left school and that was a very long time ago but I know through the grapevine that she’s fine.

Worrying is such a waste of time but I also know that some people need help so please try CBT. I try not to worry. Best of luck.

My mother in law worried constantly, about her health, her husband’s health, mainly though about not having anything to worry about!!! She nearly drove us mad. She died last month at 100. She was always miserable and for the last few years kept telling me how awful it is to get old. I found this really offensive as I was diagnosed with incurable cancer at the age of 60 and would like the opportunity to get a little bit older.