annsixty is spot on - both she and I have been through this with our husbands.
Some thoughts from me:-
1. He should not be discharged without a "package of care" in place and all the necessary equipment. Hospitals are legally obliged to make sure that this is set up before discharge.
2. He should be entitled to 3 weeks of interim care, i.e. free rehab care at home with carers and physios going in. Please ask about this.
3. Caring for someone at home is very hard indeed, and even with carers coming in it is still hard for lots of reasons - each one does things differently and my OH found this very disruptive as did I; the quality of the carers varies enormously; you will find yourself doing things in the night and losing sleep. If you organise carers to come in please make sure they are not just covering basic care, but also time out for you.
4. I tried live-in care, but this did not work out as he needed two to transfer safely.
5. My OH went into a nursing home eventually where he had excellent care and we were all able to visit and spend good time with him, free from dealing with pads, catheters, bum-wiping etc. etc. That was all done so we could just enjoy tome with him - although his mind was very disturbed so it was not really enjoyable.
6. It is fine to put your needs into the decision-making process - you still matter and you cannot care for him if you are tired and feeling very understandably resentful, I am finding it hard to pick up the threads of my life even though he was in a nursing home for the last 5 months of his life.
7. Think about how his care might be funded. Please be assured that the value of your home is ignored completely during these calculations as you are living there. Try the Age UK site for a good summary of what is available in the way of finance - www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/
There are two sources of funding: one is via Social Services and the other is via the Health Authority if his needs are primarily health ones. For detailed information and advice about the health authority source try Beacon - www.beaconchc.co.uk
Please feel free to pm me for any advice if you need to. This is all very recent for me and if I can help you with shortcuts to getting what you need then I would be happy to do this.