BLACK DOG 9

Morning all,
Annie wow good new at last, start of things to come hopefully
You will be wizzing round in no time ????
Have a good weekend all ?

Doodle sorry to disagree, that sounds 'sorted' to me. I think we have much in common, I also don't have health anxiety, sometimes I go too far in ignoring things! I don't often worry about myself, it is usually about others. At work I was called 'everyone's mum' because we had many young people from other countries working with us and they needed extra help. They always came to me rather than HR!

Yes, a vulnerable family member is so hard to help. Knowing how much to do and how much to allow them to sort out for themselves must be difficult. I help my family with all sorts of things but, so far, only 'normal' things.

We all need a support system and I hope the BDG goes somewhere towards that. Don't want to speak to soon but at the moment I don't need as much help as I have at other times and am able to see the positives in my life. Things a bit chaotic at the moment but kind of good chaotic.

Hope you can all find something good about this BH weekend.

bluesky you’ve had your second jab. Get a measure of satisfaction from having done it. ? I used to be up at 5.30 in the morning when I was working. I struggle to get up at 8.30 now.
Annie that was an interesting explanation of the various causes of depression. Very helpful post.
Hurrah! Your chair works. Yippee. I am so excited. Wonderful to make some progress at last. So pleased for you.
Ellie Anne good advice from Annie. Don’t give up. Try another GP. Yours didn’t seem particularly sympathetic.
Write down a short and to the point sentence saying you wish to speak to a GP face to face. Be polite. Be persistent. Remember the receptionist is working on the doctors orders so don’t take your frustration out on her. If you can do nothing other than get a phone appointment, take it but tell the GP how you are feeling. Write it out first so you don’t ramble. Remember GPS have limited time so make what you have to say precise and to the point. We ALL have regrets but you can’t change that. Just move forward.
Nonnie I agree so much with what you said.
Yes there is a book about a granny in a wheelchair. Gangsta Granny by David Walliams I think. Don’t think our Annie is a gangster though ?
Nice of you to be helping your friend.
Oh Nonnie I am so far from sorted ?. I personally do not have health anxiety or really worry about myself. I have a young family member that I love dearly who has not had an easy life. I spend most of my time just hoping that today will be ok. We work on a one day at a time basis. Lots of ups and downs. I just fall apart when I think of this person being sad or lonely. Breaks my heart. That is my big problem.
Scaredycat you sound bouncy today. I’ve been sewing, cooking and walking today. We left our walk late and it was a bit chilly but at least there weren’t many people about.
Hope you had a good day. Did you go for your walk?
Take care gang and hopefully have a happy bank holiday weekend.

Evening all x
Annie well done! So pleased you’ve finally managed to use your power chair, it’s a good start.
Nonnie no reactions at all after second jab, same as first, and same for DH, yet this vaccine has a reputation for giving bad side effects. I wonder wether they have injected fresh water?
Scaredy hope your DH will be fine too after his jab. I like the sound of your GP, the old school ones were the best, I used to call on mine quite often when the children were little and my anxiety was hitting the roof. He would always have a caring word which lifted my spirit.
Doodle I agree with Nonnie, you seem to be sensible and ‘sorted’!
Ellie Anne welcome. I understand what you mean by problems caused by being in an unhappy marriage. I was in the same boat till I plucked up courage and left him to it, and I have been happily remarried for nearly 25 years.
Wishing you all a pleasant evening x

Morning all
Annie- just read your news it has made my day! I am so pleased for you.
Bluesky - hope you,re ok after your jab - my D H has just had his 2nd one this morning .
Nonnie- it’s lovely to feel useful and your friend must be so glad to have you and your kindness.
Doodle - hope you are having a good day.
Ellie Anne - my doctor who just retired used to say that keeping occupied and active was one of the best ways to help cope with our mental problems. Do you have any hobbies or outdoor interests you can do ? Hopefully now lockdown is easing we can see family and friends a bit more often. I hope today is a better one for you.
Nanny,Joce, Polomint,Rafichagran and all those in BDG have a good dayX

Annie good for you. Today is a new day, can't change the past so change the future. Don't let the &)*(%*^(*^) get you down. (Used to know that in Latin!)

Wow Speed Granny! Isn't there a children's book about a Grandma in a wheelchair?

Ellie Anne I think we have all come across a GP like that. I have the opinion that many need you to keep coming back with whatever your ailment is until they take note and do something about it. Many ADs are suitable for one person while not for another and I have read that it can take a couple of months for them to kick in. Perhaps going back and see/speak to your GP, if you can, and talking about it more would be a good idea?

Are there things you can do socially to get yourself into a different situation for some of the time. 'Take your mind off' always sounds trite to me but if you can get away from a situation for a short time it does help.

I'm having a 'busy' week helping out a friend who isn't coping too well at the moment, will be washing and ironing all weekend but these are jobs I don't mind doing. Wish I could do more but just 'being there' this week seems to have helped her and made me feel useful too. A win for us both.

Polomint I understand that being grateful for things (DH in your case) whilst also having anxiety. I have never thought of myself as being anxious and yet I have this strong feeling some days that another disaster is going to come out and hit me. I base this on the sudden, unexpected, unexplained death of my son.

Moaning is what we are here for, each one of us may put whatever we want to on here whilst knowing others understand and support. Go ahead and moan whenever you feel you want to.

Nanny that is such a lot to deal with. Sounds like the leg ulcer an 82 year old friend has had for a couple of years. He has to keep going to have it dressed and they keep thinking it is improving but it doesn't.

They always make it sounds as if thyroid issues can be easily solved bit in my opinion they don't understand that 'normal' isn't normal for many. So glad you have your little friend Binks to cuddle.

Doodle you always come across to me as very 'sorted'. You abound with common sense too. Glad the exercises are helping.

I understand about not appearing to be nosey, I simply don't have that 'nosey gene' so hope I don't give that impression. I can usually find something innocuous to ask about, grandchildren of course are easy and everyone loves to talk about their own.

BlueSky how are you feeling today? Hope you didn't have a reaction.

Hi all x How is everyone?

My powerchair assembled yesterday, love it, went into my kitchen and let my dogs out to garden, first time in 13 weeks , thank you all x

Ellie telephone appointments are so difficult when needing to speaking of depression, check to see if you can have a face to
face appointment now things are easing.

My love, you are unhappy and yes we cannot change the past ,
I may be so wrong but being in lockdown unable to leave the house to do little more than going to buy food must have made you feel trapped in a place which is not a happy place.

Why not try counselling? someone to help you find ways to live
your life with some goals , you can’t leave your marriage, before lockdown what did you do away from the home ?

Stay with us Ellie, we are here for each other x

I could see another dr. It’s a very big practice. But just now you have to speak to the receptionist who may let you have a phone appointment but it’s unlikely that you will get a face to face one. I don’t really get this as the virus is getting controlled but that’s how it is. I think there is a predisposition to depression in my family history. My daughter has serious depression. But for me the main cause is being unhappily married for many years. Yes I know I could have left but life is not black and white . I have many regrets but I can’t change the past.

Ellie can you see another doctor in the practice or does your GP have her own practice?

I won’t ask personal questions directly from you so will speak of some causes of depression, there are so many .

Reactive depression - following a trauma which can be a bereavement, or on going family problems / worries about a loved one, I have know people have depression when something awful makes news headlines.

Persistent depression - ongoing depression for many months or longer with no break.

Seasonal affected disorder - usually caused by darkness of winter

A physical illness, mind and body cannot be separated

Menopause and childbirth , doubt any of us has post natal depression!

Then there is depression which comes with serious mental disorders, this Is noticed by family and loved ones,

So would you consider therapy ? if able to get to the root of it
then you will be helped to find a way to deal with it. There are so many causes .

Do reach out for help, I know this can be so difficult if one finds it difficult to speak but it can help. And remember you can share whatever you choose to share here. X

Evening all x I had my second jab this morning, so far so good, hopefully it’ll be like the first time when I didn’t even have a sore arm. Me being me I was nervous about getting it done, in fact I hardly slept, stupid I know, my stomach goes into knots and I feel sick. Any medical intervention throws me, must be because so far I’ve been lucky not to need much done. Luckily it was only the GP surgery so within walking distance, but rather early for me in the morning, you wouldn’t think I used to be up quite early every morning for work. I couldn’t do it now! Also any slight disruption to my routine upsets me, must be old age! Good to read all your news, I can see a lot of us are still struggling with anxiety and depression. Have a peaceful evening and a good night x

I don’t have a problem with prescription pills but found they made me very flat. When I spoke to the doctor about it she just told me it was up to me if I stayed on it or not but offered no alternative. So I came off them.

Joce nice to hear from you. Always welcome here to chat whenever you feel like it.
Nonnie I too have read that we should talk to others about themselves also to listen and not keep talking over people. My trouble is I don’t like to ask too many questions in case it seems like I’m prying. It’s a difficult path to tread.
Annie so many positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. Please make this wheelchair work for you x
Ellie Anne it’s worth trying all things but if you find this herbal remedy doesn’t work, try going to the GP. Anxiety and depression are so closely linked.
polomint we never know what would happen if we chose a different path. I’m not surprised that you become anxious. Try and enjoy the sunshine days. You are not moaning. That’s not a word we understand in this thread. Being worried and talking about it is what we are here for so never worry about telling us how you’re feeling. We understand. ?
Hello again Nanny. Glad to hear you and Binks are enjoying your cuddles, your DH’s poor foot is obviously very bad. Hope it improves soon. It was a nasty injury.
Scaredycat yes I am still exercising. I find it is getting a little easier. It is not too energetic as I couldn’t cope with that but a good range of movement. Good to hear you’ve digging in, we all keep plodding along.
Take care dear gang and sleep well tonight x

Good evening all
EllieAnne - I know how tiring it can be always putting on a brave face- so well done for meeting your friend I think it will have done you good without realising it. It’s not easy sharing how you feel with people you are close to so I hope you gain some comfort from all here.
Doodle - hope you are ok today and the exercises going well. I know what you mean about the memory tests - I don’t think I,d do too well under duress.?
Joce- nice to hear from you - I,m ok thanks for asking had a bit of a wobble but digging in. Take carex
Nonnie - another day coming out of lockdown. You are so right doing more normal stuff is both exciting and yet exhausting. I realise some aspects of Lockdown suited me more than I thought. Hope you had a nice walk and it refreshed you.
Annie - hope the wheelchair is now up and running. It must have been nice to see your brother too.New beginnings eh !!!
Yes anxiety certainly wears you down- oh for a quiet mind.
Polomint- you are not moaning just feeling able to share how you feel. Having your DH not well is a big strain on you both so no wonder you feel anxious and sad at times. Sending a hug
Nanny - So sorry your husband is suffering with so much - it must be extremely exhausting for you back and forth from Hospital. Cuddles with Binks sound lovely and he probably senses now when you need a furry hug.
Take care allx

hello my wonderful friends. I am so sorry i have been silent for so long. Hubby is still poorly. its gone from sepsis to the foot still healing, bleeding and a hole still there (more like a slit than a hole) thyroid issues, and now a bleed behind his eyes. we have to hospital every 3 days or so for weeks and they cannot work out why he is bleeding?? I hope everyone is as good as they can be......BINKS is firmly a house cat. comes for cuddles with me every evening when its quiet. he really is beautiful although no touchy belly though!!!! much love xxx

Sorry to moan, I didn't mean to. I know others have much more to deal with than me

I think anxiety and depression go hand in hand. I am always anxious, always dreading what is the next problem. Very uptight and I don't eat when I feel stressed. Then because of the anxiety, the depression kicks in as everything seems so hopeless. Then if it's sunny, I sometimes pick up a better mood but anxiety is always ther in the background. I think it's because of my husbands ill health really. I often wonder what our life would have been like if he was healthy. But I do know how lucky I am to have him

Ellie I remember you were going to take a form of herbal medication, do you have problems with prescribed medication?

Quite usual for to have both anxiety and depression , anxiety wears us down and the thoughts it brings will cause us to be
depressed .

I think it is depression rather than anxiety but maybe a bit of both. The pills am taking are not prescription. I got them from a company that I buy turmeric from.
I’m sorry so many are struggling
Thank you all for your caring comments.

Hi all x

Doodle I have no problem getting in and out of bed, I can’t
walk more than 2 or 3 steps.

Wheelchair was delivered yesterday, my brother is going to assemble it today, please send me positive thoughts my friends x

Posted this ages ago so thought it just right for us now , -

Every day is a fresh beginning;
Listen, my soul, to the glad refrain,
And, spite of old sorrow and older sinning,
And puzzles forecasted and possible pain,
Take heart with the day, and begin again.

Annie so good to read that you keep on keeping on throughout all your difficulties. I loved the 'lady in the van' she sounded like a great character especially as portrayed by Alan Bennett. Indomitable spirit, go girl.

I think you overdid it with the 10 point turns. All muscles react to overdoing things. Yes, I get that you are determined but I think you need to accept that any kind of new exercise needs to progress slowly. Perhaps your 'helpers' could suggest some gentle exercises appropriate to your needs?

Yes Doodle I love it when people treat me in a personal way and always try to make them feel good about it. We make a fuss when things go wrong so I like to do the same when they go right.

Yes, strengthen the knees but slowly, muscle ache is good up to a point but needs to build up over time. I get a lot of advice from family members who are expert in such things.

Joce yes it can be hard to learn to talk to others, especially about how we are feeling. I used to be so self conscious I would never speak to strangers but was sent to represent my company at a meeting. I decided to be brave and went to talk to a man on his own, he cut me dead. I was mortified but also angry so went straight up to a woman on her own. She was grateful that someone spoke to her. From then on I decided to be the one to make the first move because I now knew what the worst that could happen was. Just how bad can it be to be shunned in this way? Not so bad. Some years later I read a book about depression and it suggested that we ask people about themselves to start a conversation and talk less about ourselves. It concluded that they would go away and say what a lovely person you were. I try to do that as much as I can until I know people better and then feel I can talk about myself. I hope this helps.

Ellie Anne keep on with the pills, I can take a lot longer than a week before you feel the effects. Just take one day at a time and think as positively as you are able. Yes, I recognise that putting on a face for others and coming back feeling exhausted. I am surprised at how much coming out of lockdown has affected me so please be prepared to be knocked back in the short term.

Very tired today so going out for a brisk walk to try to wake up.

Hello all,
Annie sorry things are not getting better for you after all this time.. good idea with the tray do hope it helps..are you still having you helper that you daughter got for you you did seem happy with her...

Doodle Nonnie hope you are both ok...

Scared how are things with you?

Ellie you sound a bit like me, I find it hard to talk to people, I keep it all to my self, wish I was different. There is a lot of lovely people hear in the BDG always someone to listen and help if they can.. take care

Night all sleep well stay safe ??

Annie sorry life seems so stressful for you at the moment. After such a long period of nothing, it all seems full on now.
Is it possible for you to have a hospital bed in your bedroom. One that lifts up and down might be easier for you to get in and out of.
Hope the new wheelchair and clip on tray will provide the help you need. I hope you get back into that bed soon x
Nonnie I think all tests these days includes a dementia test. I hate the thought of having one as my memory is pretty bad and I’m sure they would conclude I had early signs of dementia even though I have been like this for as long as I can remember (which may or may not be that long ?)
My knees are weak but no where near bad enough for replacement. I think I just need to do strengthening exercises.
Isn’t it nice when you get to deal with nice people. So many companies now operate on automated voice systems now. Push this button or that button. Drives me mad.
Ellie Anne it often takes 2 to 4 weeks for medication to start taking effect. If it isn’t helping, go back to the GP but I think it’s early days yet. Good you got to meet a friend, hopefully you will have more positive days. Don’t pretend to your GP. If you need help, ask for it,

Ellie, we have been in lockdown for so long, it has affected so many, people who didn’t have anxiety and depression before
the virus are phoning helplines because they are now experiencing them. What troubles you the most depression or anxiety? Perhaps both , one can trigger the other. Be assured all
here understand and will listen x

No Annie I don’t. They all have their own issues. I can share a bit with my youngest sons partner but because of COVID I’ve hardly seen them.

Ellie Anne well done for meeting your friend today, do you not talk to anyone in your family about your anxiety/ depression? You can talk here freely, we will listen x