BLACK DOG 9

Hi all

Not a lot going on here, been out a little but too cold to spend overdue time in the garden.

Hope you are all OK in some way or another.

Hi everyone

Annie- I,m so sorry to hear that it is taking so long to get your ramps sorted. If you aren’t a priority I don’t know who is! I agree with Doodle we all need hope and saying things are inevitable is really no help whatsoever. I do hope you are able to see family soon. X
Doodle - I hope you and DH have enjoyed your time away. A change of scene and seeing family will do you both so much good. I hope you managed a beach walk - makes me happy just thinking about it.
EllieAnne - I do feel for you. Since the pandemic our lives have changed so much and while you were able to fill your days it helped you cope . I hope you are seeing your friends more now- do you walk with them sometimes? I expect the food bank will be very glad to see you back when you are able.
Nonnie- yes it’s not gardening weather is it. When we planted out our pots etc I said to DH we mustn’t over water this year- HaHa the weather had other ideas.
I have been very adventurous the last few days. Sunday I saw my DD and GD as it was her birthday. We had hugs!!! It made me so emotional to actually be with them closely again. Where have the 26 yrs gone since I saw her come into the world.
Yesterday we saw my Stepson and wife in their home which was lovely. Although it makes me feel nervous We just needed this family time. Thank God for the Vaccine - not to be careless but to take advantage of being able to grab a bit of life again.
Wishing good days to all the BDG. Xx

Morning all, popped in to see how everyone’s doing,

Annie more waiting errrr. Why won’t they do something to help, it’s not a lot to ask after all this time. Shame on them.

Doodle hope you have had a nice break.

Scaredy-cat them hugs mean the world my GS has not stop hugging me (Boris said we can Gran ) he’s so loving I’ve missed it so much we all need it...

EllieAnne my thoughts are with you stay strong...

Nonnie it is cold I’ve been doing my hanging baskets hope the frost doesn’t get them...

I’m just the same plodding on like I do, up and down a little but plodding, and in my book that’s good ..
Have a good day all ?

Scarycat it sounds like you had a wonderful time, connecting with family is wonderful.

Today the sun is shining and rain is not forecast. My washing is on the line!! Been to the surgery for DH's clips to be removed and he no longer needs a dressing. I had my long overdue 'annual' blood test and I've caught up on an outstanding email. All good so far. Hoping the mow the lawn this afternoon too.

Hope you all get some sunshine today too.

Hope this makes you smile it did me...
my granddaughter just FaceTimed me.
Gran do you have wrinkly toes,
no love why
Was just wondering if your toes wrinkle when you getting older.
????

Hello all. Back from our one day trip.
Ellie Anne is your DH unpleasant to you or just not interested in getting out and about or doing things together. Perhaps doing some more things on your own would be a way to get out a bit more. If you are not needed for childminding during term time, how about doing a course yourself. An art class or something that would still leave you free to help out during holidays.
Nonnie we had a good time thank you. It was wet on Monday when we went out to lunch but on Tuesday we had a mainly dry day for beach walks which was nice.
Hope you are ok and not overdoing it, you sound tired.
Scaredycat yes we had a lovely beach walk thank you. Quite windy in the Cliff tops but much warmer on the beach.
How about you have you been out walking? Nice to hear you are visiting family again.
Joce those hugs are so special aren’t they. I can’t wait to see my DGC.
Oh those wrinkly toes. If that was the only think that got wrinkled when you get older ?
Annie I took a picture of the sea for you. How have you been today. Can’t believe how long you have to wait for those ramps.

Doodle love the photo, sounds like you’ve had a nice break..

Hi all x

Doodle love the photograph, thank you x

Joyce. strange, my toes are not wrinkly, rest of me is x

nonnie when that bossy head of the enabler team told me
Having carers was inevitable I said ‘with respect only one thing is inevitable and it applies to you and me’. !

Another update, won’t bore you all with details, Tuesday morning I spilt water on the electric plugs which are next to my sofa, electric fused, no breakfast, no telephone, no getting on line., it triggered the care alarm and they kept saying on the
speaker in the hall ‘are you alright’ I couldn’t answer because I
can’t get to the hall and they couldn’t phone me, finally I yelled
I’m ok, am sure I could have been heard around the Cul de sac,
took all day wiping all the plugs of appliances, 7 of them !

Still waiting to hear when I will get help to get use to the banana board which will enable me to get off sofa into wheelchair, think I have annoyed head of enablement team,again !

Oh Annie what a fiasco with the water. So easily done.
Do you have anyone coming in to help you these days?
Sounds like the head of the enabling team needs to be a bit more attuned to the needs of the people she visits.
Hope you are ok.x
Joce yes thank you. It was just one day but it was nice. I love the sea. Did lots of walking though so now we’ve both got sore feet. ?

Hi all x how is everyone ?

I read the following this morning -

Worrying about tomorrow takes away peace from today .

When we first went into lockdown it didn’t really affect me as
an agoraphobic, now I hear people speak of booking holidays etc I now feel very lonely, yet I didn’t before!

Joce it certainly made me smile. Being a grandparent is wonderful isn't it?

Yes Doodle I am tired but I think it is a good tired. Having a purpose suits me, I need to feel I achieve something each day, however small.

You have reminded me of a walk with a friend in Colwyn Bay one October about 55 years ago. The heavens opened the wind was wild and instead of feeling bad about it we both felt really exhilarated, not sure I would now though!

Good repost Annie don't let the &*(&$&*^%)&*_ get you down.

Can you get that speaker moved to somewhere more useful?

We are not booking holiday so don't feel alone, I do know one person who has booked for Christmas but apart from that just DS who has booked to bring his family in July. Looking unlikely now.

Yesterday I turned our lawn from a field back into a lawn, it was just about dry enough. Now I'm moaning that no rain is forecast and I will have to water in the seed patches! So very, very English to complain about the weather.

Took DH to physio and now have to torture him by pushing his knee further than he can himself.

At this point being very busy seems to be doing me good, don't know how long it will last but hope it gives hope to some of you.

Morning all x (Well just about). Drizzly day today after yesterday’s sunshine. DH down in the dumps, as well as his back now a knee seems to be playing up. Phoned the GP after putting up with it for a few weeks and told the local hospital will get in touch for an X rays. Then he weighed after many months and his weight is gone up, to be honest he doesn’t overeat, we walk every day, doesn’t booze so I don’t know. I’m the same to a certain extent I can’t loose a pound to save my life! In my case I believe that being a strict vegetarian I do rely heavily on carbs. No Annie no interest in holidays (what were they?) if I did go anywhere would be to keep DH happy. Well moan over for today. Hope you’ll have a pleasant day x

Good afternoon all
Joce- my toes are the only things that aren,t wrinkly! Such a cute thing to ask. My GGS once said to me “I love those little bumps on your neck” !! He didn’t know the word wrinkles?
Doodle- love the photo and so glad you had a good trip. It spurred us on to go to the sea yesterday - so good to be there and walk . It was nice enough to have a picnic too. It feels like a little holiday doesn’t it.
Annie- What a watery nightmare it’s amazing how a little bit of water can go so far. I,m sad you feel lonely - I do hope that at least this Summer you will be able to get outside in the sun. Will MT be able to get to see you soon?
What true words you read this morning - if only my head could work that way! XX
Nonnie - sometimes when I read your posts you put into words how I feel. I too have the need to ‘do’ something everyday keeping busy helps keep the wobbles at bay. I hope you get on OK with the new harder exercise regime for your DH.
BlueSky- sorry you have a drizzly day. We are lucky today the sun is out so doing a spot of gardening. Hope your husband gets his X-ray soon he must be fed up to have another problem. We miss our holidays so much but foreign travel at the moment is too risky I think.

Annie it’s that feeling of others being in the same boat. I felt kind of safe in lockdown. Although we couldn’t go out, others didn’t come in and I got used to it.
Yes I have heard that phrase before too. Easier said than done I think. Any news from your DGDs? How is your GDs puppy doing?
Nonnie hope your DHs knee is improving. You seem to be quite busy. I also feel better if I achieve something each day.
I have been cutting fabric today to make a table runner. Been for a walk and typed up some notes. I was so busy I was late getting dinner.
I think there will be many people who don’t plan a holiday this year. We never know what’s going to happen?
Bluesky I am horrified by how much weight I have put on in lockdown. I have tried losing some but like you, it doesn’t want to budge. I think my metabolism has adjusted to me eating more. Sorry your DH has problems with his knee and back. Hope you get the x ray appointment soon.
Scaredycat I’m pleased you too had a day out. Where did you go? It’s so nice to have a change of scene.
It’s been a bit drizzly here today too but supposed to be better this weekend. We will see. Take care all x

Hi all x

Doodle my elder granddaughter’s puppy is fine, sleeps with them, takes my granddaughter for walks on the beach every day, yes the dog takes her for a walk, she is 5 foot and the dog is
a lab. My younger daughter will be having her new puppy next
Thursday and I am pea green with envy, they are having another Westie , I adore this breed, have had seven and seeing the videos of the new puppy causes me to ache for another and I can’t have one ?.

How is everyone?

Hello all sunshine hear...wasn’t sure at first what I was seeing in the sky ??
Annie how are you? Are you getting sorted with everything?
Labs are my favourite I had one many years ago he was so loving adored kids... I do wish I wasn’t so scared of them now...my daughter lost her Westie at Christmas she was lovely I can see why you like them Annie..
Hope everyone’s enjoying the sunshine have a good weekend all ??

We are still waiting for the sun. It’s supposed to come tomorrow.☀️
Annie I’m so sorry that you are not getting the help you need. I hope things improve for you soon.
Doodle he is not unpleasant but we have nothing to talk about and have grown apart.
I have done things on my own for years.
Today I went for a walk on the beach and did some gardening this afternoon.

Evening all x
Ellie Anne if your husband is not unreasonable or unpleasant towards you and you feel unable to start a new life on your own at this stage, then perhaps better the devil you know. You already seem to be doing things on your own, so carry on that way, things should now hopefully go back to something resembling normality. The main thing is that he’s not abusive otherwise I would encourage you to leave regardless. All the best x

Anniebach and Doodle re your comments about holidays and feeling safe in lockdown...I am feeling really low today. Bank hols can be triggering, I find. I am aware of others having amazing social lives and we don't have that. In lockdown I felt sad not seeing my family, yet safe because no one else could go out so i didn't have to compare my life with others (yes, selfish, totally). And now it's all opening up and everyone is rushing off to barbecues and get-togethers which we don't do. I'm an introvert who yearns to be an extrovert and seeing things on fb or elsewhere which contrasts, I find very challenging. It's always been an issue tbh and led to mood dips in a big way. Tomorrow we're visiting MIL who is very elderly and lives with a carer. She doesn't have any life at all, so I should be grateful for mine, I know (and I am, honestly). Anyway I understand your comments.
I did lots of gardening today. Kept me busy but it didn't lift my mood as it often does.
Ellie Anne you live near a beach? Ooooh! How lovely. Sounds idyllic. I love the sea.
DGD is coming on Monday night for two nights and she's very excited. She's 7 and has missed us a lot (feelings mutual). She's never stayed over by herself so this will be an interesting experiment.
It's been very sunny here all day and should be tomorrow. MIL insists on roast whatever the weather and DH likes to do that but she will probably sleep much of the time otherwise. Sounds unkind but I try hard to be upbeat, to listen and chat about things she might be interested in, but she's a grumbler, never very positive, and it can be hard to feel cheerful after a day of that!

Annie good to hear the puppy is doing well. Will your daughter bring hers for a visit?
Joce nice to see the sun isn’t it but we’ve been at home all day trying to get something done. I am sewing . Making a table runner from scraps.
Why are you scared of dogs now? It’s a shame if you liked them so much.
Ellie Anne I’m glad your husband isn’t unkind to you. Perhaps if you don’t feel up to leaving you can continue to be together but have your own interests. Lockdown has brought so much stress to people. Do you ever go on holiday, either with your husband or in your own?
Bluesky just read your post and see I am saying similar things to you about EllieAnne. I can understand how people develop different interests over time but there is a lot to be said for quiet companionship.
Hello Rowantree . Firstly let me say things are not always as they seem. Don’t bother being envious of others lives for the chances are you have no idea what goes on below the surface, many who seem to be having a great time actually have depression, financial issues, relationship issues. Trust me, don’t envy anyone it is pointless. We all have problems. Some on this thread have mentioned they think I have things sorted. As I have pointed out, I have worries that are different to some. I don’t have health anxiety but I have an ongoing concern for someone I love so much but who has great difficulties, it is on my mind all day every day. If you met me you wouldn’t know.
It’s the first thing I think of in the morning and the last at night but outwardly I would seem fine,
Take a look at what you have and see it in a new light. Nothing, I repeat, nothing is more rewarding than family. You have a DGD. Many would love that. She is coming to stay. Fantastic so many would envy you. Enjoy her visit. Enjoy her happiness because I can assure you it’s worth far more than any fancy BBQ with someone else. I have a friend who has led the sort of life you envy. Very sadly it has all fallen apart and she is in great despair. Be grateful for what you have.
Take care all x

Doodle well said I’m scared all day every day, it’s hard to live with but I plod on... but I am so grateful for what I am blessed with, I do feel very blessed..

I am scared of dog that I don’t know, I have had bad experiences with um... only before Christmas I was bit bad on my hand by a Yorkshire terrier, this has made me worse... I was our walking a few weeks ago a big dog come running up to me I cannot explain how this made me feel it clearly states dogs must be on leads.. the lady said he won’t hurt you,, but I’m sorry I was very scared. Why do some dog owners not consider other people.. How is anyone supposed to know that the dog is safe.. rant over sorry...

Snap I’m making a table runner but not patch work, no matter how I try I cannot get my seams in line I really don’t know why but I love to see quilting, would love to do it, do keep trying with odd bit never say never.
Sleep well all night ?

Hi all x

Ellie Anne. Good advice from BlueSky, I have often spoke
of acceptance, we can find in life there are things we can’t change so we have to accept and find a new way to live our lives. Yes it’s so hard but it can be done x

This will sound odd sorry girls but I truly believe the sea is healing, I use to spend much time driving to the beach, go on the seashore and write in the sand , just a word which sums up your feelings, the tide will wash it away .

Rowantree sorry you feel low, I so understand, I am not envious of others if they speak of holidays, I am not envious when people speak of ‘we’ meaning their husbands, I am happy
for them, I just wish I could do the same x

Joyce about that dog, 3 of my 15 dogs - yorkies ! How did the
Yorkie reach your hand ? Were you sitting down ?

Doodle hugs my love x Yes family, it’s love between my
Grandchildren and me which gives me the determination to
get in that damn wheelchair.

My mini tornado finishes her exams on Tuesday, I will see her soon. Friday evening she got upset for the first time, she said
‘I haven’t seen you for six months Bro ‘.

Sunshine in Mid Wales ?

Scardycat & Doodle yes, when we read others who have the same feelings as us it is reassuring. Thanks for that.

EllieAnne I think you sound as if you are coping a bit better at the moment, hope I am right. Coming to terms with situations can be the hardest part. Once we have accepted that something is permanent it seems easier to deal with.

Rowantree good to see you. May I make a suggestion? Just be the first to say 'hello' nothing more apart from a smile. Many, many people feel as you do and are grateful for that first move. I won't go into it again but I did this years ago and it changed my life. I had been rebuffed by the first person I spoke to and was so cross after forcing myself to do it that I went and spoke to someone else. After all, what is the worst that can happen?

I don't think that many people are having a great social life just yet, some of us are simply dipping our toe in and seeing how it goes.

Doodle such wise words again. I totally agree, most people meeting me would think I had no problems at all, yes, they might even envy me. Just a few close friends know everything which is why I am so very, very grateful that they are in my life.

Joce so true, never say never. What would life be like if we just gave up?

Annie good that you have a visit from MT to look forward to.

Nothing interesting going on here, just pootling along.

Hi everyone
Rowan Tree - sorry you feel so down. I agree with what Doodle says. None of us know what really goes on in people’s lives or minds. What you see is often just a brave face hiding all sorts. People usually only post the good stuff on FB and Instagram etc. Family really is the best and most important thing . I hope you have a wonderful time with your Grandaughter and make some memories with her.
Joce- I too am scared a lot of the time but like you try my best to just get on with things. So love my family and friends.
Sorry you are now scared of dogs - will your daughter get another one when she is ready? I must admit I don’t like strange dogs that dash up to you when walking.
Ellie Anne- how lovely to live near the beach. Always a good place to walk and recharge your spirits. Is there any chance your husband would go with you if you asked?
Annie- you are so right about acceptance. Sometimes I get fed up with my AF and my DH always says just try and accept it as a part of your life now- easier said than done though as it always scares me. Getting better at it though.
You are right too about the sea. It is truly beneficial in so many ways. The lapping sound is so soothing,waves mesmerising,colours so beautiful and the feel of it on your feet is so good. I will never grow out of paddling when I can!!
You are a truly generous spirit Annie to take pleasure in other peoples happiness as you do. So happy you will see MT soon.
Nonnie,Doodle, Bluesky and all BDG I hope you have enjoyed this beautiful ,sunny dayxx

No Annie I was posting something though the letter box ?‍♀️