BLACK DOG 9

Hi everyone.
Just read all your posts and caught up. Haven,t felt very well this week lots of AF which makes me so tired and scared too. But today the sun is shining and I feel better?
Nonnie - hope you have a wonderful time tonight.It,ll feel so nice to get dressed up - a proper date night. Look forward to hearing all about it.I too have to accept that I probably won’t see my son come to UK this year - thank goodness for FT.
But Oh how I long to hug him. The Bonsai tree is beautiful you have clever green fingers..
There are lovely beaches in theNorth East and I shouldn’t expect so busy as lots of more Southern places.
Joce - I hope you get to visit Switzerland one day it is truly beautiful and weather in Summer on a par with ours.
Bluesky- it would do you good to get away if you can - while you can. If not though days out are like little mini holidays anyway.
Annie- sorry you are feeling so worn out although it is no wonder all that you have had to cope with lately. I hope you have a wonderful day with your GD tomorrow and the sun shines for you all day
Doodle - hope you are having a good weekend and that the sun has come back like it has here.
Love to all in BDGxxx

Joce your tree looks lovely. I can see the shape of the branches and the nice bends in the trunk. I didn’t realise they could be outside.
Nonnie How did your meal out go. Did you enjoy it? It sounds like your little pots of flowers are a success. I like lots of different pots. Easier to look after and you can more them round a bit.
Not sure how it would help you but DH and I have spent a night or two in different Premier Inns. We find the standard very good and you know what you are getting. The beds are very comfortable. They are dotted around the South not sure if they are UK wide but a good idea for a night or two stay. If you book in advance you can usually get a lower rate.
Or just book when you know what the weather will be.
Bluesky days out when you come home to your own bed are good too. Are there any beaches or NT places round where you live?
Annie I bet Wales is a very popular holiday destination so not surprised people flock there at the first sign of freedom.
Holiday places are very booked up at the moment.
What a shame about your new iPad. Could you try someone like Amazon.
A visit from your DGD how lovely. I bet you can’t wait. Hope you have a wonderful time together.
Scaredycat sorry you have had a rough time with the AF again. Try and relax in the sunshine today.
I feel so sorry for all of you with family abroad. It must be difficult normally but with lockdown that must be extra hard.
I am so lucky that my sons are just a few miles away. We haven’t seen them that much in lockdown but just knowing they are there helps.
We went for a BBQ with DS2 today and found that sometime in the last 14 months my DGS has grown into a young man. Tall and muscular ...how did that happen. Lovely to have hugs again though.

Hi all x

How is every one ? Be back later x

Annie been a busy day for us today. Tidying up and trying to move things round in our spare bedroom/DHs study/my sewing room. Not a lot of room so most things had to be carried into the hall so we could move tables, worn out now.
Still going over our visit to DS2 yesterday. So lovely to see them all enjoying the sunshine.
Did your DGD come over today *Annie? Hope they are getting on well.
How are the rest of the gang?

Hello all..
Annie hope you had a lovely visit from your DGD,
How are you doing with everything..

Doodle I’m always tidying my sewing room mines also small...

Scaredcat I still am hope one day I will get to see Switzerland..
do hope you are feeling better today..

Nonnie hope you enjoyed you meal..

Night all sleep well ?

I wish I had a second room, just bedroom, living room,kitchen.
I would love to move but can’t.

I slept a lot today, not sleeping well at night , the back and front
doors are only open for one hour five days a week and half hour one day. Living room so hot and can’t open windows because I can’t get near enough to them,

I admit it’s all getting to me now.

Elder granddaughter called , only stayed 10 minutes and stood just inside living door, she wants to wait until her second jab.

Oh I am really fed up

Oh Annie I’m so sorry. I can understand your DGD wanting to wait for her second jab. You need so much more help than you are getting. I realise you probably don’t want to move because of your dogs but is there no sheltered housing or something similar where you can retain independence but have some help? Not surprised you’re fed up. With all you’ve been through . Nothing seems to be getting done. x
Joce my sewing room is a table really. Our spare room is very small and has DHs desk in, a filing cabinet, my desk and sewing machine. If we both move at the same time we’ll fall over each other ?

Annie why is everything so much more difficult than it used to be when you could simply phone the shop, get an intelligent answer and sort the problem?

How disappointing that gd only stayed 10 mins. I can understand her reticence and not wanting to infect you but nevertheless ...................

Thanks Scardycat don't know the northeast so that is a good idea. Not too bothered about beaches if we can find a hotel with a sunny pool and not too crowded.

Doodle yes we have used Premier Inns and Travelodges for overnight stays when all we want is somewhere to sleep but for a proper holiday, like I feel we need, I want somewhere with a bar and restaurant etc so we can feel a bit pampered. Hope I will get round to looking when I know whether family can come over or not.

I think those of you who share a study/workroom etc with your husband must be far more tolerant than me! Disciplined too as you can't keep lots of 'stuff'. Until DH's operation we didn't see much of each other during the day unless we went out, now we do as I have to do everything for him. It is going better than I anticipated, he is managing not to criticize my driving and confining himself to only interfere in the kitchen when I'm not looking

Thanks all for asking, we had a really lovely meal out, somewhere we hadn't been before. The staff were all very friendly and not at all 'jobsworth' and I had to drink DH's cocktail because he can't have alcohol with his meds They were 2-4-1 so it would have been rude not to!

DH is improving, now doing the stairs without needing the reassurance of me with him. Now we have to get the daily number of steps up. All good.

Hi all x

nonnie so kind of you to drink your husband’s cocktail, hope it wasn’t too unpleasant ? x

Doodle, I don’t want to live sheltered housing, I will be able
to cope ok when I can use my wheelchair.

Was told this morning the head of the enablement team was
asked to visit me two weeks ago ! me thinks I annoy her because I will not accept her opinion - ‘it’s inevitable’ .

How is everyone?

Morning all
Annie- I am so sorry that things are so difficult for you at the moment. I find it astonishing that you are still like this after so much time. Surely the people who do come to help must see how hard things ar3 for you. That Head of enablement team needs to start enabling!!!!
Maybe your GD could come to see you again and you could both wear masks until she’s had her jab.
Sending hugs wishI could help.
Nonnie - glad you had a good evening and you were so good to help DH out with the cocktails!!!
I understand wanting a nice hotel - there seems little point in going somewhere for a holiday that isn’t as comfortable as home.
Great that your DH is coming on so well - so pleased for you both. Perfect weather for doing a few more steps each day.
Hope all in BDG are having a good day and that the sun is shining on you all.x

Nonnie so pleased you enjoyed your meal, nice to relax with friends for a while.
Glad to hear your DH is improving. Mastering steps is a big deal so wise to continue to monitor his progress.
DH and I are used to being together a lot. He retired early due to ill health so is used to being at home. We rub along well together. Both like reading, walking and eating ?
Annie I can understand your need or desire to live independently. My mum lived in sheltered housing for the last few years of her life, she had a lovely flat overlooking the garden in a sunny position. As mum was always a sociable person she got on very well with the live in warden and they used to have a chat together every day. I realise it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and you have your dogs too.
I think the head of the enablement team should do what she can to help you achieve your goals and aims not hers.
Hello scaredycat have you been walking today?
DH and I had an exciting trip to the local recycling place to get rid of all the electrical items that have broken down over lockdown. It was so busy. We had to wait for ages to be allowed in.
Lovely and sunny here again today. Getting warmer.
Take care all the gang. X

Hi all x

How is everyone today ? enjoying the sunshine I expect. Hope
you are all going for walks.

First time on this thread, hopefully to encourage.
In industry, grew up with the motto
"Illegitimos non carborundum"
Don't let the B.......s grind you down.

Each day, try to remember some achievement, no matter how small and apparently insignificant.

It may be vacuuming a room, or cooking a meal. There are those who cannot do these things. (Myself included!)
Last week, sharpened a cutter.
Next day, eased a drawer that was jamming.
Following day, repaired a broken clamp.
Yesterday cleaned up the garden shears, and varnished the handles.
Today's target is to apply the final coat of varnish.
Tomorrow; use them!
Each day something is achieved, even if it is only reducing the number of recordings on the VCR!

Take heart!
As Captain Tom said "Tomorrow will be a good day"

Annie & Scardycat

Doodle it was just DH and me, that was what was so unusual, family called it 'date night'.

Our recycling place is so busy we have to book an appointment and they are no longer allowed to help lift the heavy stuff.

Welcome puzzled I'm guessing you are male? We all encourage each other on here and share our positives when we have them. When things are tough we sympathise because we all know how hard it can be.

Lovely short walk with DH this morning, very slow but I left him sitting on a bench and went off for a short brisk walk on my own before collecting him and coming back.

Hi Nonnie,
Guilty as charged.
DW and I are very close, should be after 57 years of marriage.
That was the first post on this particular thread.
Don't always succeed, but try to be positive about things.
Thinking about a small success is far better than dwelling on any failure.
We are all human and so make mistakes.
It's important that we do recover from them, and how we do it!
The glass isn't half empty, it's half full!
Monica Dickens said that the important thing was not the mistake, but knowing how to recover it.

Hi Puzzled thank you. With respect may I suggest you read
the O/P, it explains what the Black Dog threads are for.

Hi all. Annie sorry to hear that you are not getting the help you need yet.
I’ve had a bad bout of sciatica the last few days. Managed to speak to the nurse at gp s. Gave me anti inflammatory and painkillers which are helping but making me feel sick.
And I am really missing my walks.
I’ve promised to go to see my daughter this weekend, first time in 18 months. It’s a 5 hour drive mostly on motorway so I’m very apprehensive.

Ellie Anne you so have my sympathy, sciatica is so painful,
I was really surprised when a physiotherapist told me one of
several causes is constipation!

I use to use a tens machine but wouldn’t now because of the arthritis, don’t want to cause more damage to my knee bones.

You are apprehensive about the drive ? possibly it’s part nervousness and part excitement. Will you be on your own ?
if so do take a few breaks , you have a mobile phone?

Every mile you drive you are a mile nearer to your daughter , hold that thought.

Don’t keep your concerns to yourself, talk to us everyday as often as you wish , and when you get anxious thoughts think
of your daughter greeting you x

Hi all x

Hope everyone is ok

Puzzled I think sometimes the hardest thing is starting whatever the task is. It usually isn't as onerous as anticipated and I feel so much better when I have done it. Unfortunately this list is endless and, as yet, I'm not ready to ask for help.

Ellie Anne just a suggestion, are you taking the meds with food? It might help with the sick feeling.

5 hour drive is a long way so take it in steps and don't give yourself a time target. I rarely drive long distances because DH likes driving, but when I did recently I put a CD on and that helped. It did have an unfortunate side-effect though, I found myself exceeding the speed limit because the music was fast!

Hoped to do 2 major tasks today but had a bad night so settling on having done one and the garden hacking will have to wait for a few days.

Hello Puzzler thank you for your posts.
This is not a gung ho thread. We support each other in depression, anxiety, etc by listening and understanding.
I’m pleased you and your DW are close. Others on this thread are having a difficult time.
I’m sure your intentions are well meaning but we cannot force others to be cheerful or to be up beat all the time.
Yes Annie been for a walk today but it was really too hot and quite tiring. Went to charity shop to deliver some items for them to sell or recycle. We have a really good shop locally.
Nonnie I didn’t realise it was just the two of you. How nice.
Our recycling is just queue and wait but we do have to show identity to show we are locals.
Hello Ellie Anne sciatica is so painful. If your medication is making you feel sick, ask the GP for some anti nausea tablets. DH has them when he came out of hospital as the level of pain killers he was on made him feel really sick.
5 hours is a long drive. Will you be staying with her when you get there. You won’t be driving home the same day I hope.
As Annie says take lots of breaks. Is it a route you know well? If not, plan it out in advance and check the service areas so you know when you can take a break. Good luck and hope you have a good time.
Nonnie I’ve been tackling our bedroom today. A big task and only half done. How did I amass so many pairs of shoes and clothes.?
Some days we have more energy than others. Don’t beat yourself up on the days you don’t feel like it just wait for one of the good days.
Take care all x

Very sorry Puzzled I misspelled your name. I confused it with another poster.

Hi everyone.
Ellie Anne - hope your pain is subsiding now so that you can drive comfortably to see your daughter. Yes do take breaks especially for a drink as it is going to be very hot this weekend. You must be looking forward to seeing her very much.It will be so worth the drive to give her the first hug in so long.
Nonnie - I hope you have a better night tonight . The garden can wait eh!!
Doodle - yes it was hot walking today and very tiring. I,m tired with the AF so taking it at a slow pace. Had a long chat with my Doc who was very kind and understanding . AF and anxiety don’t mix well as it’s a bit of a vicious circle but felt better after our talk. Do you think shoes and clothes breed in the wardrobe ? Funny how many clothes we have but for the last year I have quite favoured the bag lady look indoors!!
Annie - hope you haven’t been too hot indoors today . The other evening we had 2 visitors in our garden - a little cat who often visits but sitting with him in the garden was a fox! They were perfectly comfortable with each other only about 4 feet apart. Our garden is only small and it was so cute to see.
Wishing all BDG a comfortable and peaceful nightxx

Thank you Doodle for explaining to Puzzled far more clearly than I did, I apologise to Puzzled , I was concerned
about the word ‘failure’ , no one on this thread is a failure or
fails, we all know those mornings when Black Dog bites but we
still get up and face the day, this is a success.

Scaredycat a fox in your garden, such a beautiful animal, to see it sitting so near the cat and the cat unconcerned, isn’t
nature wonderful .

Scaredycat you and me both ?. I tend to wear what’s comfy these days.
I bet you enjoyed the cat and fox visit.
Glad your GP was able to reassure you x