BLACK DOG 9

Annie I’m so sorry. You must be upset to have it put so bluntly. Are they going to offer you some help to remain independent? I can understand about the careers but you will need help of some kind. Thinking of you in my prayers and hoping you are coping with this news x

Thank you all.
Annie I’m so sorry to hear your news. If you don’t mind me asking what is the matter with your leg?
Doodle I’ve heard of that before with a catheter. Hope he gets home soon.
I get on well with sons partner. But it’s the distance and the virus that have caused the problems. And son is not a great communicator but he’s not grumpy like his older brother.
Thinking of you all.

Hi everyone
Ellie Anne - please don’t be so hard on yourself. You are not a wimp just a woman trying to do her best to deal with what is obviously a very stressful situation. Hope you will soon be able to see your son and his family.
Doodle - hope you have been ok today. It must have been so scary to start to bleed like that- especially out on a walk. I walked alone today as DH was golfing. I prefer to go with him but make myself do it to build up my confidence.
Nonnie - hope your DH will be home soon. Glad to hear though that he has been well fed. So good that he can do the stairs so he should be on his way soon. I would imagine that the catheter has irritated his waterworks a bit- they are horrible things to have in aren’t they.
What fun that place sounds where your GS have been to play. A 3 storey castle maybe he is an architect in the making. Love that his brother is concentrating on his eating skills!! How old are they?
Annie- so sorry to hear your latest news. Now perhaps though you will get the help to organise your home to enable you to move around safely and easily in your chair. You are such a fiercely independent lady and you deserve to live as you chose.
Many people love you and I,m sure will help if they can.
Sending a hug.
Have a good evening all.

Oh Ellie Anne such a bad day, I'm sure we all feel for you. I understand it is difficult when you are the MiL and don't feel you can ask. Just wait until they do and then show them all the kindness you can. It can take a while to build a relationship with son's partner but is well worth it when you do. My advice is to just do things with the little one the way they do it and ask them to tell you how if you are unsure.

Perhaps when you have given the meds a few more weeks you can go back to the GP?

Also, stop putting yourself down, you are not a wimp, you are having difficulty in coping. We all understand that.

Doodle still don't know when DH will come home, expected it to be today but he is waiting to see the consultant. He has gone up and down stairs with the physio so I think they will throw him out soon. He had to have a catheter and is worried that now it is out he is peeing blood. I have no idea if that is normal or not.

Hope the nosebleed was a one off. Many years ago I had one like that but it never recurred, hope yours doesn't either.

Annie I think you probably expected to be told that but you are a fighter so keep on fighting for your independence as long as that is what you want. I would hate to be told when to go to bed and when to get up so stick to your guns.

BlueSky they do sometimes get it wrong, a friends mum was told she was too ill for an operation so sent to small local hospital to die. A week later she was up and about and loving all the attention. They sent carers to her home but they stopped going after she baked cakes for them! I think she was 93 when she died. She remained strong mentally until the end. Of course they do get it right a lot of the time too.

Just had a long video call from GS who is out at a place where they supply pallets, ladders etc and the children build whatever they want. He is building a 3 storey castle! His brother says he is not helping he is eating!! [smile} Love my family.

Morning all x Annie so sorry to hear, sadly it seems like a comedy of errors from people who should be able to help. My MIL was told she’ll never walk again only to surprise everybody when she did!
MawBe pleased to see you back you’ve been missed.
Have a good day everybody x

Anniebach I am so very sorry to read this.
You have had to cope with so much misfortune in your life - you don’t need me to enumerate - my heart just goes out to you, brave lady

Hi all x

I have much to think about, was told yesterday I will never walk
again or stand , only have use of one leg. Living furniture has to change to make it possible to get in my wheelchair.

I will not have carers, I am not going to go to bed and get up when told ! It will take a little while to work out what I need to
keep my independence, x

Nonnie I hope your DH’s pain relief has been sorted now and he’s more comfortable. Do you know how long he will be in for? Good you’re keeping yourself busy. Hope you are sleeping ok too.
Annie what a problem you are having with all these OT people. They really have no idea do they.
Scaredycat have you been for your walk today.
We went on a circular route this afternoon and when we were half way round my nose started bleeding quite badly. Between us we had about 6 tissues and I used all of them. I had blood all down my white scarf and all over my hands and face. I don’t know what people thought as we passed by on our way home. I was so pleased to get back it. It stopped after a while and has been ok since.
Ellie Anne if you are miserable at home is there anything you can do about it. I don’t know your situation (not asking) but it doesn’t sound as though you are happy with things the way they are. It’s a shame your son lives so far away and visiting isn’t allowed at the moment. Do you get photos of the new baby? I’m not surprised you’re upset at not seeing them. Hope you get to do so soon.
Sleep well all x

Ellie Anne you are not a wimp, please, please stop thinking of yourself as that, you are a brave woman, you have stayed in a home where you are not happy, wimps couldn’t do that.

Yes all here have problems and we share and understand so you do the same.

When you speak of the pills you are referring to the herbal pills you bought ? Do ring your surgery , ask to speak to a different doctor, if we don’t ask we don’t get , do ring next week
please and keep sharing here. x

Thanks doodle but they are in Glasgow and it’s just been announced that there is no travelling in or out of Glasgow just now because of a rise in cases.
But things at home are stressful. I’m such a wimp.

Annie right hand and left hand !!! What are they up to. x

Just going out so will catch up with you all later but wanted to send a quick post to Ellie Anne.
You will get to see the little one soon I’m sure. Please try not to stress about it. I know your visit with the GP wasn’t too successful but try again and ask if you can have an appointment with someone who is receptive to those suffering from anxiety. I’m sure you will get some good advice in here soon just wanted you to know we are here for you to talk to.
Take care

I’m not having a good day today.
Feeling weepy and stressed which makes me feel a bit sick. I’m so wanting to meet up with youngest son, partner and baby but they haven’t suggested meeting and I don’t want to be a nuisance. A lot of tension in the house. Sorry that so many of you are having problems too.
Those pills I started taking don’t seem to be making any difference.

joce that is a wonderful cake!

BlueSky 'endless blue sunshine' hmmmm, yes I would, no, Nonnie no, it would be bad wouldn't it?

Annie 'Batty' is my ambition! DS used to find ways to tell his schoolfriends how different his parents were, didn't want to have normal ones!

Please keep posting your frustrations with 'the system' if it helps to sound off, I know how therapeutic a good rant can be.

DH in a lot of pain yesterday and wired up to several devices. Given lots of pain relief so got some sleep last night. I think today they will get him up and start physio. Interestingly the Physio remembers DS from a different hospital about 5 years ago and is friends with one of DS's colleagues. Small world

Really pleased at how much I achieved yesterday, best in a long time. Think it may be easier when I am alone in the house. Today I will sort out 'his' freezer to make room for yesterday's cooking and see if there is room to do some more.

I have started doing jobs with Boom Radio on, gets me bopping along with all the memories. If you haven't heard of it it is music for BabyBoomers although some of it is 80s which is far too recent for me

Scardycat the food is lovely in his hospital, NHS outsourced it to a private company so the food is private too. If the care he is getting is being done for the same cost as the NHS questions need to be asked about why they can do it better for the same price. Don't want to get all political on this thread though!

Yes, DS eats very healthily but says there are times to break the rules. I have said before how supportive my family are. I am very fortunate.

Well done yesterday, so good to challenge yourself and succeed. Have a day off today before finding the next step outside your comfort zone.

Hi all x

nonnie, hope things are calmer for you today, how is your husband?

Scaredycat you did so well, driving to town alone, how lovely to have that photograph, photographs can bring mixed feelings

I have rambled on and on about problems with therapists, council etc , perhaps this will help you understand my frustration?

Had assessment Wednesday by occupational therapist who was
asked by the council to take photographs of doors for wheelchair access. Yesterday received a letter from council telling me there will be a delay in having my bungalow being
assessed but I am on the waiting list, if I need a occupational therapist contact the following number, - it was the telephone number of my therapist team ?

Joce that’s a beautiful cake. Your DD is very clever.
Nonnie it’s anti climax that makes us fall apart when things are over, we get all het up but keep going and them after the event we allow the emotions to come out,
Good your DS came round to help and brought chocolate ?
Hope your DH is in less pain now and makes a good recovery.
Glad you slept well.
Bluesky if your DH had a pre op assessment then they probably planned to do his op soon when lockdown started. Have you contacted them to chase it up. It never hurts to remind them.
We had a day at home today. Weather raining most of the day.
Annie hope the OT person makes a proper report and you get the ramps and support you need to get outside.
I am sure Batty is a term of endearment ?
Ellie Anne sorry your posts have gone missing. It happens some times. How are you?
Scaredycat you’ve done well today. Driving on your own is a big move forward.
I’m glad your photo turned out well. Bit of mixed emotions I imagine. I’m sure your children will be pleased to have it.
Now you’ve been driving a bit it should be easier next time.
I’ve been turning up more hems and have ordered some shoes online. I would prefer to buy them in a shop where I can try them on but so many of the shops have closed down I had no choice. I wonder if they’ll fit?
Sleep well all. x

Good afternoon all.
Joce- The cake is gorgeous. Glad your GD enjoyed her day , it’s all about making memories isn’t it.
Nonnie - So glad your DH is safely through his Op and I hope he makes a good recovery very soon. He,ll be glad to have all that lovely home cooking after eating hospital food - what do they do to it!!! What a lovely son you have bringing you chocolate- must have helped you sleep?
Bluesky- drizzly here too- bring on the sun and blue sky I can put up with that. I feel the cold a lot these days.
Annie - Batty is a great name only somebody who likes you a lot would call you that. My GGC call me Nannybanany don’t ask me why but in blended families it helps to have different names!!!!
Today I took a big step towards normality by driving into town alone. I had an incentive. I had an old slide of my 3 children together. I don’t have many of those so have had it turned into a photograph. Hence plucking up my courage to collect it. It,s lovely - both heartbreaking and happy at the same time. I had one done for my son and one for my daughter.
I did a couple of things in town then drove to M and S on the way home. Feeling very tired now but pleased I did it.
Hope you are enjoying Ballykissangel - I have never seen it .X
Love to all in BDG

I’m confused. Have posted 2 messages and they have not appeared.?

Hi all x

nonnie happy all went well for your husband, going ‘to pieces’ after an event is so natural, all our energy goes into whatever the event is , Adrenalin pumping, thoughts spinning ,
suppose running the 4 minute mile is similar, not that I have
ever done it !

You are so right about ticking the boxes, a chap from occupational therapy dept came yesterday, took photographs of back and front door entries for the council, he pushed my
wheelchair through the back door and made notes for council,
didn’t say I wasn’t sitting in the wheelchair or that he had pushed an empty wheelchair !

Re names my grandchildren call me, I forgot to add my elder granddaughter’s partner calls me Batty !

BlueSky. Hi, a bit more sunshine would be nice, x

How is everyone?

I am spending the afternoons watching Ballykissangel ?

Morning all x
Pleased to hear about your DH Nonnie he’ll soon be up and about, sending best wishes for a speedy recovery. Don’t forget to look after yourself too.
Drizzly day again but at least it’s reliable, we wouldn’t want endless blu skies and sunshine like they have abroad, would we?
Hope you’ll all have a pleasant day.

BlueSky so sorry about your DH, heard on the news today that there are nearly 50k overdue operations!

Annie you are in 'the system' where they all have their boxes to tick and it is all about that, not about you. I wish it were otherwise but keep hoping and trying as it only needs one of them to listen and then act upon what you say.

I like all the names your GC have given you, you are not just a generic Gran/Grandma/Nanny to them.

Joce any better today?

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and support. I took DH into hospital at stupid o'clock yesterday, came home, did a few jobs and then went to the optician, which was more complex than expected and therefore time consuming. I got stressed because my phone wouldn't connect to WiFi which normally wouldn't bother me. Went round to sort out a friend's greenhouse which was long overdue but she hasn't been able to do it herself. Think that kept the stress at bay a bit but finally got through to the hospital and DH had just come out of theatre. I went to pieces and came home. No idea why I go to pieces after the event. Family very supportive and DS came round after work to move a mattress onto our bed to make it higher as the OT insisted it is necessary. He brought chocolate!! Ate rubbish instead of dinner, slept well (for me) and feel loads better today.

DH in pain but in good spirits. Now going to batch cook for when he comes home.

What a lovely cake Joyce bet it was scrumy, thank you for
showing us x

The cake

My GD enjoyed her day her little face was a picture when she saw her cake my talent daughter made.
Thought I would share with you...

Annie hope today hasn’t been two stressful for you

Evening all x No Doodle he hasn’t heard anything yet about his sciatica op. Last October he got as far as the pre op assessment then new lockdown and now goodness knows when.
Waiting to hear from Nonnie too.
Have a good night all x