Dementia - advice please

kittylester I was very lucky to have access to a series of free seminars called Memory Matters when Mum was diagnosed, the bookcase was used as part of one session.

My younger sister aged 67 has been diagnosed with dementia, I talk to her on Skype every day, she lives alone in Manchester but has a carer going in and taking her shopping each morning, her daughter lives nearby.
Some days she’s fine and other days quite confused. I wanted to ask her to come and live with us when she was first diagnosed but Orlin put his foot down based on past experience with my mother.
My sister is a very passive soul and just takes whatever is dealt. My niece is trying to find a suitable home for her before her memory deteriorates further and she becomes more vulnerable.
Our mother had dementia at 67, she was a very aggressive woman and a different kettle of fish.
I looked after my mother and visited her weekly for the many years she was in a home in spite of our total dislike of each other and long after she no longer knew me. My sister, always the golden child visited annually if that.
I learnt from experience with my mothers illness that it was less distressing for us both to be in her world whatever that happened to be at the time.
It’s a horrid illness.

Merylstreep I don’t think I have ever read a comment about dementia that sums it up as well as you did in your post 10.12.33. Excellent advice.

Re people who thinks they’re living in a nursing home, one lady at my mother’s care home went one better - she thought she was running a boarding house. She once told me that so-and-so still owed her for last week’s rent - £9! She was relatively cheerful about it though.

My mother (then over 90) once told me she was sick of this job and was going to look for another. I never did hear what the actual job was, though.

@Callistemon, the person may still recognise you even if they have forgotten the relationship. After my mother had forgotten that I was her daughter (I’d also been her sister fairly often - the one she didn’t really get on with!) I was just a ‘nice lady’ who made her cups of tea and brought her chocolate, but she was still (usually) pleased to see me.

In a hotel, I meant - dhurr...

Just go along with it, don’t correct her, there’s no point, will only confuse her,

My father was diagnosed with Dementia June 2020. The Consultant in charge of my Dad told us never to correct what he has to say...go with it. Try to be in their world not yours.