Black Dog 10

Annie no caffeine, that would hit me hard too. Don't get out of bed until I've had two mugs of proper coffee!

MT, will get through this, she has gone through a lot and come through. He has something in His plan for her and she has to look for it. I wonder if there is a way to explain what she has been through and that the experience would make her better at her job? I suppose they are worried that, if anything went wrong with a candidate after acceptance, they would be criticised.

If you get an email from the neighbour I suggest you block her, you really don't want to get involved, you have enough to deal with.

Rafichagran I don't know how anyone who hasn't experienced this can understand how we feel. I get lots of family support, especially when I get abuse from that one person who does it, but I don't think any of my lovely family really understand no matter how hard they try.

Ellie Anne why bother to get the tree down? Do you need to? Please try to be kind to yourself.

My baking was all used by my friend yesterday and went down well, I think she wants more for Christmas Eve.

Previous owners of this house decided they wanted the monkey puzzle tree after all, its in a pot. It is huge and we were really worried they would do damage taking it away, so worried that I got them to sign and indemnity! Two scruffy blokes in a plain white van turned up, oh dear. They were lovely and really caring and thoughtful!

This is going to be a busy week so not sure if I will have time to pop in so, if I don't, I wish every one of you the best Christmas you can have in your own circumstances. For us it will be having all the family around if they are allowed to come.

Hello all. Just been out for a walk and it’s freezing. My poor face was bright red with cold by the time we got back in.
Scardeycat I give the morning papers a quick once through and the BBC news late evening. Apart from that I avoid it because it’s so full of bad stuff. No one seems to write about good things anymore.
Please don’t spoil you Christmas with family by being anxious. When we have taken all the precautions we can then the time comes to enjoy being with family and forget about it for a while. Hope you have a lovely time.
Yes we will (hopefully) be with both sons and their families this Christmas. We are lucky, they do not live far away.
Annie how funny. It was really foggy here this morning too.
How does Alexia read to you Annie ? I am interested.
Im sure your DGC will meet up with each other at sometime soon. What is MT up to for Christmas?
Carillion how lovely to hear from you again and what a kind and thoughtful message. I hope you are doing ok and life is not causing you hardships. Thank you for your message and love to you too. Keep safe xx

Hello Annie, Doodle and all dear friends,

I have not contacted for such a long time for a variety of reasons but wanted to send this message to you now at a time of year when there is much loneliness, happiness and sadness and sadly, much Covid….

You are always in my daily and nightly thoughts and prayer.
Sending love and positive thoughts to everyone. Until next time, xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi all x

On waking this morning I decided to be very positive and not to allow negative thoughts in. Opened the blinds, fog, everything grey, weather certainly affects me, same for you ?

Hope Nonnie you haven’t exhausted yourself with all your
planning and baking for Christmas x

Scaredycat Blueberry Hill ? I still play it x

Doodle I have a remote control for light, Alexa reads to me,
plays songs and music I love, she is playing Glen Miller orchestra for me now , In The Mood , x

This is the first Christmas my three grandchildren will not be
together, I tell myself they are adults but still feel so sad.

How is everyone?

Hi everyone
Annie- yes the news is so depressing at the moment. I have stopped looking all the time at the news feed on my phone it was making me so anxious. Nice to think of you tapping away to your music. The first record I ever bought was Fats Domino singing Blueberry Hill. Enjoy the rest of your day Anniexxxx
Doodle- yes we,ve done all the presents and delivered some when we went visiting earlier this month. We are going to my daughters on Xmas Day she lives in the same village. Also 2 of her daughters ,one with husband and family. I feel very anxious about all being together but want to be with them so much and they will all test beforehand. Who knows when we will ever have a normal Xmas again. So glad you will see your DGD again soon. Will you be with family at Christmas?
Enjoy your evening BDG - Strictly final tonight!!

Annie my DH suffered the same sort of thing when he stopped drinking coffee for a while. We don’t seem to think of caffeine as being something our bodies are used to. I’m just glad you found out what was causing you so much trouble.
I agree about the news. It’s awful. It s the children that get to me most. So hard to find the good news in amongst all the bad. Alexa is a wonderful gadget though can be of independent mind some times. Ours quite often argues with DH when he asks her to turn the lights on.
My DGD is coming home from university today. We are all longing to have her back.
Take care BDG. x

Hi all x

I have been reading up on caffeine ! never given it a thought until my recent experience of withdrawal, most interesting.

I keep rolling news on everyday for company, soooo depressing now, little wonder anxiety is on the increase. I now
have it on with sound off and have Alexa play lots of jazz., as I write this I am listening to Fats Domino singing
Walking To New Orleans, my feet tapping against arm of sofa.

How is everyone?

Annie hope you’re catching up on your caffeine intake now and feeling a bit better.
I feel so sorry for your MT. I still find it hard to understand how they can be so unreasonable. Poor girl has such valid reasons for her actions. I do hope someone listens to reason and she gets another chance.
Yes mental illness affects all the family not just those suffering from it. Sadly we can’t just put a plaster on the brain and kiss it better.
I suggest your DGD informs her dear brother that he may bring some of his required items with him and perhaps a microwave too. Lovely to hear she is planning entertaining. I hope she and her partner are happy in their home. Do they still have the dog?
Rafichagran sorry you are going through a bad patch again. When our minds get locked in worry and anxiety it seems to take over. I hope whatever it is that’s troubling you improves soon and you know you can always come in here and talk to us.
Scaredycat for those of us who cherish our families that will always be the most important thing. Because we care so much.
Sounds as though you are well ahead in your Christmas shopping and wrapping. Are you having visitors at Christmas?
Thinking of everyone and wishing you a peaceful night.

Hello all
Annie- so glad to have you back.
How you must have missed your carer- do hope she is fully recovered and back visiting again. Poor you with the tea bags - you must have felt so bad and not known why, my problem would be with the caffeine!!!
I am so sorry for your MT she must be so hurt and bewildered when she has worked so hard for so long. The reasons for being turned down sound totally ridiculous. Seems to me a bit of compassion and understanding is needed. I do hope your complaints are listened to and the decision overturned.
Rafichagran- sorry your anxiety is bad at the moment. Those incessant thoughts are so exhausting but many people do not understand how debilitating anxiety is. Sending you good wishes back
Joce- thinking of you too
Nonnie- fingers crossed you will be able to see your family. Everything seems to be very confusing and difficult at the moment..
Ellie Anne - hope your GD will be ok. I think we are all getting tired of the uncertainty of everything- just have to try and enjoy what we can.
Doodle - you have been busy. The ironing board idea sounds good - yesterday my friend said the same thing, will try it next time as wrapping always hurts my back. More sad news today about little children - families are more precious than anything.
Take care all

Hi all x

Your caffeine junky here .

Have now read all the posts and thank you all so much, missed you all x

Rafichagran so sorry your anxiety is high, it is difficult trying to explain the torture of anxiety to anyone who has never experienced it, we are here for you x

Nonnie all that baking, I miss Christmas preparations but admit my liquid meal replacement is at times a blessing, don’t
exhaust yourself x

Doodle yes my Mini Tornado is devastated, we now await the
results to her appeal, she came to see me last week, we talked about the difficulties she overcome, it was upsetting for me because naturally it brought up my darling daughter’s illness and the effects on her children . Mental illness causes much hurt doesn’t it ? x

Must share this with my friends, in the middle of the turmoil of the last two weeks, elder granddaughter FaceTimed in tears,
she has invited her partners parents to stay for Christmas and her brother, he very helpfully told her what he expected on the table , oh calamity, her cooker is too small!

How is everyone?

Shame. I hope she doesn’t miss much of the end of term fun.
Will you be seeing them over Christmas?

Hi doodle . She still has cough but no temp. Yes my oldest sons daughter. 8 years. He has an older daughter 11. I sometimes have them in the holidays but mum is off Christmas and new year so not needed.
School stops on wed but she’s not allowed back with cough so will just stay off.

Annie I am so pleased to see you back.
I know you had very valid and understandable reasons for not posting but we really missed you.
I am so,so sorry about your DGD. It’s seems to me that anyone with common sense would see this not as a pattern but as two separate and totally understandable occurrences.
In view of the fact your DH was a policeman I think they should really take notice of your complaints. I hope they change their minds Annie.
Love is a grandma going into battle for her GD to have a job which the grandma, herself, is anxious about her GD having.
Caffeine withdrawl can have a serious impact Annie. No wonder you weren’t on top form. I hope your lovely carer is now back in good health and with you again.
Oh. I hope the woman next door doesn’t cause you any problems Annie at least you’ll have whatever she says in writing.
And you were in our prayers too Annie ?. Take care.
Ellie Anne good you were on hand to help with your DGD. My DH has a bad cough (not Covid) I think there’s a lot of bad colds and coughs about.
I too hope we don’t go backwards again. Please don’t lose heart. We will get through this. I hope you DGD is not feeling too bad. Is this your son’s daughter? It must be nearly end of term now anyway. Do you look after her at all in the school holidays?
Sleep well and caffene full tonight Annie and all the gang.

So glad you are back Annie. But what a difficult time you are having. I hope having the caffeine back helps. My youngest granddaughter got sent home from school yesterday. Fortunately I was at their house or mum would have had to leave work to collect her. She has a cough. Lateral flow negative but had a cpr today. Very hard for parents in these uncertain times.
I need to give myself a shake and get my tree from the loft. I really can’t be bothered.
We are having to book places for church service again and numbers are limited . I hope we don’t have to queue for supermarkets again. So tired of it all.

Hi Annie, I am so sorry for your mini tornado, she must be in bits. A pattern of behaviour, what rubbish, you should see and hear how my daughter celebrated.
I have bad anxiety at the moment and things are going round and round in my head. I am lucky, I do have a partner, he is lovely, but has no understanding of my condition, so I find it hard to talk about it.
I am glad I have this thread.
I wish everyone one well, and send good wishes to you all as I still keep up with all your posts.

p.s. I tried finding another carer, joined a site online for local
events etc, received a welcome email from the woman next door, she who is rather fond of having the police arrive often,
she now has My email address !

Hi all x

nonnie I wasn’t taking a break from anyone on this thread.

To all my lovely friends here

1. I had a week without my carer, couldn’t wash for a week !

2. My Mini Tornado had the reasons why ,when vetted, she was
no longer able to have the career she had studied so hard to get
the needed qualifications for.

Age 17 she along with others celebrated their A.Level results ,
rather noisily and someone reported them to the police,

Age 18, she started at university, two months later her mother
took her life so she was advised by her lecturers to leave her studies for that year and begin again the following year which she did. Packing up her things she was in great distress, her partner tried to calm her but it resulted in raised voices, someone reported them .

No charges, no warnings for either happenings, yet the vetting team classed these two occasions as ‘a pattern of behaviour’ . Regardless of the fact there has been nothing since and she is now 22.

I have lodged complaints with two police forces which I assure
everyone is very hard work involving studying my rights.

3. I found out yesterday my carers daughter who had loaded me up with things I need for the week, liquid replacement meals, dog food, bottles of water, tea bags etc had given me
decaffeinated tea bags she found in a cupboard, I had ordered them months before in error. Yesterday my carer discovered this error, for ten days I have had caffeine withdrawal and didn’t know, my anxiety levels were hitting the ceiling every day and night, couldn’t even do my cross stitching.

That’s it my friends, I am so very sorry I haven’t posted , my mind was in turmoil, but you were in my morning and evening
prayers.

Am now going to have yet another mug of tea , not decaffeinated.

How is everyone? X

Joyce keep plodding x
Nonnie yes I did feel as though I’d achieved something even though I was worn out after.
I’m do hope your family can still visit. I have a friend who is waiting for family from America. It’s so distressing for people looking forward to seeing family after a long time and all the uncertainty.
Annie hope you have a better day today. Much love x

Brandy snaps, haven't made those for years, must remember to make them in January for someone special.

Doodle hope your busy day left you feeling satisfied, like you have achieved. It is one of the things I found hard when I retired, the lack of achievement.

Yes, the terrible news about those children, also one on the local news who has a terrible condition which is taking away all brain function. Imo it is time that female abuse is recognised, not just male.

Annie enjoy taking a break from us all, I'm sure we will all be thinking about you and those of us who pray will be praying for you.

Headline half an hour ago, French are tightening restrictions on people travelling from the UK. Does that mean my family won't be able to come after all? Waiting for the detail and wondering if they can get a boat across the north sea instead.

Hello all just want to say I’m thinking of you all.
I’m plodding on has normally not much to say.
Sending you all a hug
Thinking of you Annie xx

Been a busy day here for me. Lots of ironing, cooking sausages to go in the freezer for Christmas. Made a cake then realised I’d used twice as much fat as intended. Looks ok. We will have to wait and see.
DH still coughing a lot so he hasn’t been allowed to do much. Tonight I set to wrapping up the Christmas presents. I use the ironing board to wrap mine (not literally ?). As I can adjust the height it stops me having to bend down.
I often thought I shouldn’t worry so much about my children and DGC. Others out there seem to go day to day without any cares. After the news in the papers recently about those poor little ones I am glad now I worry about mine. At least we all care on this thread.. So much going on in the world.
Annie if you are reading I wish you some good news and some happier times. You have so much to cope with.
Take care. Thinking of all the gang.

Ellie Anne-sorry you are so worried about your DD - she must have been so pleased to have you with her. It’s not easy leaving your children after a visit when you feel worried about them. Hope she has some time to relax over Xmas.
Nonnie- hope the injection helps your DS. You make such delicious sounding things- chocolate roulade will be lovely for Boxing Day.
I love that you go for it at Christmas- I do try and stick to a budget but very often at the last minute I rush out and break all my rules!!
Doodle- well done with finishing the shopping - it is really tiring, not to mention the wrapping. Good feeling when it’s done though.
I used to make brandy snaps in the old days but I,m so lazy in the baking dept especially as we have the big new M & S food hall so close now.
Thank you so much for telling us about Annie I was getting very worried about her. No wonder she is exhausted as she has to battle constantly and deal with being alone as well. She is certainly in my thoughts every day.
Hope all the gang have a peaceful evening and night

Thanks Doodle I’ve been thinking about Annie, unusual for her not to post.
Have a good day all x

I have heard from Annie and she is having a bit of a hard time and is exhausted. She will try and post but I said not to worry as long as we know she’s ok. I suggest we hold her in our thoughts and prayers hope things improve for her soon.

Nonnie I’m sure everyone has a good time with you. I can only cut down because we are not expecting anyone here. If I was catering then I would be over ordering too.
Glad your roulade looks ok. It sounds good.

Yes I have a few cards left too and that should be it.

Oh Doodle wish I had your self discipline! I have bought too much of everything, always have and the family have learnt to humour me, they used to tell me not to do it but, at this time of year, I get carried away when I see something one of them would like. I think at some point I must have been starved as I always over cater too.

The choc roulade looks OK, will fill it with cream on Boxing Day and the GS can decorate it, another tradition.

Now just have to give the neighbours their cards and I think we are finished until the last minute shopping.

Praying for Annie