Black Dog 10

I’m fine thanks Doodle, how kind of you to think about me. I’m trying to summon up the energy to get out into the garden, procrastination is my middle name! It’s dull with a chilly wind today, unlike yesterday which was sunny with just a gentle breeze and it was a pleasure to be outside. The weather always closes in quickly this time of year doesn’t it, but I have more things to tidy, some plants and bulbs to put in, so I must get out there. Perhaps just one more coffee first!
Have a good day all, always in my thoughts and prayers. x

Annie I can understand why you wouldn’t go into a home while you had your heating done. You would be worried about your dogs apart from anything else. I do hope you won’t get too cold. I hope you have warm duvets and some other heating that will keep you warm.
What a dreadful place you were in when you lost your husband. Such young children to cope with too.
Ellie Anne no need to feel guilty. They had a different relationship than the one you have with your husband.
In many ways you could feel grief for the lack of support and comfort you get from your marriage.
I’m glad you get on with your son and his family and sorry they are struggling as are so many young people these days. Knowing you care will help.
germanshepherdsmum how are you doing today.
I have been very sleepy I think as a result of my flu jab. Covid booster tomorrow, hoping that doesn’t make it worse.
Sleep well all x

Thank you everyone.
I suppose I feel guilty because she is grieving the loss of her husband and I don’t have the right feeling towards mine.
It wouldn’t be fair for me to move in with my son and his partner. I get on well with them and his partner understands my situation very well but they are a young couple with a toddler and even if I could help them move it would still be a small property and I would be in the way.
Annie I hope you are managing to keep warm.
I’ve got the heating on as the house is cold.
Got an appointment for booster and flu jag next week.

I do hope you will be able to keep warm over the winter Annie. I hope you have been able to source the remote controlled heater.
What your priest said is so true. I’m just so sorry you were in such a dreadful place x.

Hi all x

rafichagran hello, thank you , hugs x

germansheperdsmum lovely to see you, my fault I have central heating problems, the council offered to fit new heating
this month , because I don’t have family here they will arrange
3 - 4 days in a care home whilst the work is being done.

It is now agreed it will be done next spring so I can sit in the garden whilst the work in the living room is carried out x

Ellie Anne 1976 my husband died, we had 5 & 7 year old daughters, I was frightened, grieving, at confession I let all my
emotions rip, then felt guilt, my priest told me

‘Let it come, God can take it, did he not say come unto me all who are troubled and heavily burden ‘

How is everyone?

We have been for our flu jabs today. Very well organised and everyone wearing masks. We still wear ours when we’re out walking anywhere busy.
scaredycat glad you had a little shopping trip and time out and about.
Ellie Anne sorry about your friend’s husband. Dementia is an awful illness,
I feel you are being too hard on yourself. None of us is perfect and God knows that more than any of us but he forgives. Listen to Annie You have a lot to cope with.
Your little DGS sounds lovely, being in a flat is not ideal with a young child but being loved and cared for is more important, do they have parks near by to take him to?
Germanshephersmum what a kind and thoughtful post to Ellie Anne. Hope you are keeping well yourself.
rafichagran hope you are doing ok too. Nice to hear from you.
Annie how has today been? Hairdresser for me. Very cold outside I got quite chilled just walking a short distance.
Any idea when your heating will be fixed?
Take care all x

Oh no! Sorry it was BD, I thought it was another thread. I am losing my few remaining marbles and retire. Sorry!!!

rafichagran did you mean that for Annie on BD?

Glad to see you posting. Please dont apologise. Please take care. I hope your heating works soon.
Best wishes to everyone. I will post soon. I am just trying to sort things out at the moment.

I haven’t posted for a while but have followed how people are doing.
Annie I am so sorry you have been having such a bad time. Another anniversary but I know each day, each hour is an anniversary. How kind of your son in law to send you a photo of the flowers. I’m horrified that you have no heating. It’s the Council’s legal duty to keep the heating system in good working order. Can your brother kick up a fuss? I do hope this and the other problems you so stoically shoulder can very soon be fixed. So sorry too about your difficult neighbours. I hope the dogs are a good deterrent. Ours keeps uninvited people at bay! Stay strong. I like your quotation from Bunyan very much. You are in my prayers every night.

EllieAnne you are a very good person, that shines through your posts. I pray for your happiness every night, however God may choose to make it happen. Wishing to be away from an unhappy marriage isn’t a sin I’m sure. I wished it many times in over twenty years of marriage to an abusive man. I felt the weight of my marriage vows. In the end he left (not for the first time) and I decided I could not live with him and tread on eggshells any more so refused to let him come back, had the locks changed and I cannot describe how liberated I felt in that moment. The road ahead was hard and I struggled financially but it was worth it. I was much younger and still had years of work ahead but even if that hadn’t been the case I would somehow have made use of that new life I had. I don’t believe God would punish me for having given my vows my best shot but wanting some peace and pleasure from the life He gave me. If you think very hard you may be able to see how you might make a peaceful life for yourself. Not one filled with financial riches I know but peace of mind is beyond riches so long as you have enough to pay the bills. I also pray for your son’s financial situation to improve. Is there the slightest possibility that you and he could pool resources and buy a place with a garden together? Just a thought.

Sending love to all x.

Hi all x

Sunshine in Wales ?

Ellie Anne sorry to learn of the death of your friend’s husband. Why the guilt ? thoughts of the death of your friend or thoughts of your unhappy marriage?

There has only been one perfect Christian and he asked God for forgiveness for us all.

I like this quote

No child of God sins to that degree as to make himself incapable of forgiveness." John Bunyan

So sorry that you are having a sad and difficult time Annie. I’m up and down. A friends husband died last week. Very sad as he’d gone into a care home during lockdown and his dementia had got worse. But it makes me feel guilty about my own feelings. My faith is important to me but I don’t feel I can call myself a Christian feeling as I do. I’m a fraud.
Trying to walk like many of you but it’s fallen off a bit lately.
Saw my little grandson on Monday. He’s starting to talk and is such a joy.
But I do feel for them as they are stuck in a second floor flat with no prospect of a move. Wish I could magic them into a house with a garden .
Sorry for the rant.

Annie- so good to have you back!!
What an emotional time for you and your family - glad you could be together to remember your lovely daughter.
Pink lilies are so beautiful - can you make the finished picture into a cushion cover or do you frame them.
As if you didn’t have enough to contend with without these 2 women disturbing your life. Well done the dogs for warning you- it should be enough to keep her at bay.
Hope Sky and CH get fixed asap- it’s got cold today and you must keep warm.
Love the quote it applies to lots of us I think.. Sending hugs xx
Doodle- your park sounds heavenly. I love the river and all the life that goes on around it. Glad you have it to walk in.
Been out again today with DH and yes we wear our masks all the time just wish more people would too. Started a bit of Christmas shopping and had coffee a nice bit of normality.
Take care allxxx

Annie no need to apologise, it’s just that we care and worry about you.
What a lot you’ve had to contend with. Of course this time of year brings so much sorrow. Hope you and your DGC were able to comfort each other. Pink lilies, your daughter’s favourites.
How upsetting to have yet another local woman causing you anxiety. You have enough to contend with with the one next door let alone another strange woman wandering in your garden. At least with your dogs you know she was there and hopefully having set them barking she might keep away now.
Still no heating and now no sky box. Is there no end to your trials. I hope both get fixed soon.
That is an excellent quote. How apt.
Take care Annie much love x ?
Scaredycat our local park, away from the road and traffic and by the river, is a haven for all sorts including the odd rat ?
The squirrels are quite tame and often run right up to you. Lots of geese, ducks and a couple of swan families too.
Good for you doing your best to get out. Do you still wear your mask? We do.
Have a good day all x

Hi all x

Please forgive me for not joining you for several days, I have
checked to see if anyone was distressed .I owe you all an explanation!

Sunday and Monday was the anniversary of my darling daughter’s death so my younger daughter,grandchildren and son in law needed me.

The woman next door, I have spoken of her to you, had ambulances and doctors arriving several nights, she has been
screaming and wailing through the day.

Someone came into my back garden in the nights, I didn’t know a young woman who moved here recently was given to
roaming into back gardens in the night, when told by a resident
to stop she threatened to kill his dog ! Her roaming around my
garden caused my dogs to bark.

My sky box conked out, central heating not working,

I carried on with my cross stitching to keep calm, son in law
sent me photograph of flowers he laid for Catherine, pink
Lilies, I was stitching - pink Lilies.

I was exhausted.

Love this quote on pessimism

‘I am a practitioner of Positive Pessimism, hoping for the best
expecting the worse’

How is everyone, pleased to see some are walking ?

Belated good evening to all
BlueSky- so pleased your DH doesn’t need to have an op now- you must both be so relieved.
Hope we both have a better sleep tonight.
Nonnie- whatever you are doing this week I hope it goes well. Don’t forget to rest sometimes. See you next week

Doodle- what a lovely walk you had today. Would have loved to see the little squirrel making friends with your DH. I,ve never seen one approach people.
I,m sorry your postman died - so sad .
I,m ok thanks but still having disturbed nights and mornings due to the time change. Can’t remember it affecting me so badly before- it,ll pass hopefully.
I went into town on my own today - uncomfortable at times with too many people but I stuck it out. I think that this is now how it is and I need to feel more normal again.
Annie- missing you and thinking of you. Hope you are ok
Love to all gang

Hello all. Hope you are ok Annie . We miss you and are thinking of you. Perhaps you have iPad troubles again. Whatever, hope you are ok. x
Bluesky what wonderful news about your DHs back. You must be so relieved that he doesn’t need an operation.
As Annie always tells us, walking is good for us. We went for a long walk today. Cold but sunny. Lovely golden glow on the trees. Walking through the park DH picked up and admirer. A tiny squirrel ran up his leg and hung on for a bit before scampering off into the bushes. Lots of geese around and I’m pleased to say our small white gulls are back. I love sitting by the window and watching them fly over. I could sit and watch them for ages.
Nonnie I hope you are not overdoing things. I know sometimes we get a busy period and there’s nothing we can do about it but I hope you can pace yourself. Take care and see you next week.
Scaredeycat I overslept a lot this morning ?. I’ve felt all out of synch all day trying to catch up with myself. How have you been?
Joce hope you are ok and things with your family.
Ellie Anne wondering how you are too.
Take care all x

Annie are you feeling any better now?

Thanks Scardycat no, not a bit relaxing, very busy tiring weekend.

Doodle hope the sewing went well. Sad about the postman, it is lovely when you get to know them personally. Ours retired so we now have a succession of different ones.

BlueSky that is good news about your DH, happy for you.

Off this afternoon by train, hope everything is one time as stations are cold and not a good place to hang around. Apparently there are all kinds of traffic problems locally because of road works so I may walk rather than risk being late.

Will be back on here next week sometime

Evening all x It is quiet on here so I’ll add my contribution. Well I thought DH would be going in for his back op this week, but luckily his last consultation with the specialist found that he no longer needs such a drastic intervention, his disks having dried out and moved out of the way. They’ll do a nerve block instead to help with the sciatica. I’m quite relieved as I see
ops as a last resort only.
Doodle Same here so dark so early, and I’m awake a hour too early, still got to reset my body clock. Like you say by December the Christmas lights will cheer us up.
Scaredy we manage to get a walk most days, even between showers, DH needs the exercise for his mobility and I find it de stressing.
Annie you are still missing , which is unusual, hope you are OK.
Wishing you all a peaceful evening x

Well it’s quiet in here today. Is everyone asleep. ?
Scaredycat on our cruise we had to put our clocks forwards and back a few times and now again when we are home. Like you I feel discombobulated. I don’t like waking too early. Thoughts always come racing through your mind in the early hours. I hope you get a better night tonight.
Your comment about my clothes making skills made me laugh.
The trousers I make consist of 4 pieces and an elastic waist. No zips or anything fancy. I certainly wouldn’t wear them out anywhere special, they don’t bear close scrutiny. ?
Sad news today, our lovely postman has died in a car accident. Such a nice man. Always friendly and stopping for a chat. Feel so sorry for his family.
I can’t get used to it being so dark so early. I don’t like these dark evenings in November. By December I’ve got used to it and I like the Christmas lights.
Annie, not like you to be missing for a while. I wonder if it’s computer problems. I hope you’re ok. We miss you x
Take care all the gang

Hello all
How is everyone?
Putting the clocks back has messed with my sleeping at the moment- waking too early and mind racing with all sorts. Anyone else had problems?
Doodle- your weather yesterday was identical to ours - maybe we live in the same part of the country. We managed to get a walk in during the afternoon thank goodness. It must be brilliant to be able to make clothes like you do I wouldn’t dare go outside if I had to wear something I,d made.
Annie - hope you are ok we must have had some of your rain yesterday!!
Hope all the gang are doing ok today. Xxx

Good evening all. Been really strange weather here today.
Strong winds and torrential rain followed by lovely sunshine then rain again. Our plants fell over and I had to go out in the rain to stand them up again.
Been sewing today. Trying to make another pair of trousers. I’m a bit jittery at the moment. Need to catch up with the family and find out if, hopefully, things are ok.
Hope everyone had a peaceful weekend. Sleep tight ? all x

Bluesky it’s good your sons are happy where they live. That must give you peace of mind even though you must miss them so much. I hope you can get to go and visit again or they can come to see you. Do you Skype much?
Scaredycat It’s funny isn’t it. I felt the same walking today. The first part I was so exhausted but then seemed to settle into it. Although I wear glasses I don’t need them for close vision so even if I don’t have them on I can see myself only to clearly in the mirror. Perhaps I should smear Vaseline over it to blur the outline ?.
Pleased you son is happy where he is too. I am lucky mine are close by. I do realise that is not the same for many.
Sleep well all.
Joce no more acrobatics please. ?

Hi everyone
Doodle-I like the idea of sneezing foxes. I think they like the bulbs don’t know if they eat them but they certainly love digging up newly planted anything!
We like candles in the evening too and at this time of year the pumpkins lit up.
It’s funny what you say about your legs when you walk often my legs feel better the longer I walk - I guess that’s what it means getting into your stride!
Joce- ouch that marble must have hurt- standing on Lego hurts a lot too doesn’t it. Hope your head is healing up now. Take care it is so easy to hurt yourself if you are distracted or tired.
Nonnie- there must have been a job lot of those mirrors as I have one too. Taking off my glasses softens the blow a bit.
Hope you have a relaxing weekend before your busy week starts.
BlueSky- sometimes no news is the best news.
I,m glad your children are happy and doing well in Australia and hope that maybe you can go again one day. I too am glad my son is happy where he lives.
Annie- so sorry you feel down - I think you are wonderful how you cope with so many adversities. Sending you a big hug and ??
Love to all the gangx

Afternoon all x Doodle yes they are very happy to live in Australia, they’ve done well, successful careers and lovely large bungalows, though I would rather they were nearer but such is life.
Nonnie I don’t mind a quiet life, but as you say, I now have a lot more time to think than when I was working.
Annie sorry you are down, thinking of you x
Clocks going back tonight so winter is here!
Take care all x