COVID-19 etiquette and good manners after 19 July 2021

Best wishes to your DH and DD M0nica

I like your post MawBe. You have expressed the changes I have felt during this pandemic before which I never really thought about my age, I am 71. From a can do, active person, my whole demeanour has changed to one of a much older person with no desire to go out as apathy firmly set in to a point where I no longer recognised who I was apart from, an elderly woman which was brought home to me when the elderly were advised to lockdown for 12 weeks, not to go out unless absolutely essential.

What I needed was gentle persuasion from both DDs to safely get out a bit more which I now do. Their concern and encouragement, wasn’t bullying and has been so helpful in my case. DH is a bit more content to stay at home, neither of us ready to pick up our social life just yet.

I will continue to wear a mask in shops and hand washing, very much aware that the virus is ever present, I will make my own decision when I feel safe enough to embrace freedom day.

The good neighbours scheme is a good initiative, though I suspect your daughter would not have been identified as she is young. I hope she's ok Monica.

The one thing that would worry me about those living alone and with a very restrictive routine is, what would happen if they had any kind of emergency, especially a medical emergency where they could not ring for help? Who is going to know? Who is going to notice that they haven't been about for several days?

It might not be so bad if you have one of those emergency pendants, but the irony is that those most desperately in need of them are the least likely to have one.

My family have been untouched by COVID but have had to deal with two such emergencies in the past year. Last summer at the height of the first wave and as a result of a GP cock-up DD, who lives alone, became dangerously, close to fatally, anaemic. She was told she could have a fatal heart attack at any moment and if she thought this was happening or if she fainted she should go direct to A&E, I will skip discussing how in those conditions she could get herself to A&E or even ring for help, but because we were in contact everyday and she rang us as soon as possible after beng told this we were able quickly to be with her, even though she lives some distance away, (she is our bubble) and make sure she wasn't alone, until her condition stabilised.

Last November DH had a heart attack, again when it happened he was too ill to ring for help, obviously I was there so help was summoned and it came within minutes.

But, situations like this are made more dangerous if no-one is going to miss seeing you because you are living like a hermit. As I said, I do understand why some people have adopted and are sticking with very restrictive routines still, but have they thought through the wider dangers of this way of life that mitigate one danger but replace it with many more?

MawBe

growstuff

Don't worry about people who say this kind of thing ElderlyPerson. They remind me of the playground bullies who try to goad other children into doing something out of their comfort zone (often downright dangerous) with the aim of making fun of the other children's fear.

This is really unfair Growstuff
Nobody is bullying anybody and you are doing even ElderlyPerson a disservice to throw out random accusations.
I read Molly ‘s post as entirely caring and my own was based on my feeling that for many of us, Covid may have catapulted us into an “old age” way of life which we=might not have anticipated until at least our 80’s with increased (hopefully unnecessary) levels of anxiety and obsession with health risks.
Loneliness during the lockdowns was recognised as a significant factor for those suffering from dementia and will have contributed to the isolation many elderly people suffer from. Many posts on GN reveal fear of going out, or mixing even with family or close friends.
That is not the life I intend to lead in the remainder of my 70’s, as long as my general health and mobility permit!

You are entitled to your opinion, as I am of mine.

Callistemon

growstuff

Don't worry about people who say this kind of thing ElderlyPerson. They remind me of the playground bullies who try to goad other children into doing something out of their comfort zone (often downright dangerous) with the aim of making fun of the other children's fear.

People are just recounting their own experiences and how they are managing to live with a pandemic. growstuff.
No-one is bullying or trying to make ElderlyPerson anything which would make him uncomfortable.

If ElderlyPerson feels happier and safer living like this that is fine for him.

However, many would find the isolation and lack of contact intolerable leading to MH problems which have in fact increased so much for so many during lockdown.

We all have different levels of comfort zones.

Exactly! We are all different and many have coped perfectly well without being told how to live their lives or that they are "scared".

growstuff
*ElderlyPerson said: I hardly went out before.

So that is more the norm for him and the changes are not so great except for taking extra precautions.

Others may miss their travel, social lives and be looking forward to gradually returning to what was more normal for them.

We are all different and all entitled to share our views on how we are coping.

growstuff

Don't worry about people who say this kind of thing ElderlyPerson. They remind me of the playground bullies who try to goad other children into doing something out of their comfort zone (often downright dangerous) with the aim of making fun of the other children's fear.

People are just recounting their own experiences and how they are managing to live with a pandemic. growstuff.
No-one is bullying or trying to make ElderlyPerson anything which would make him uncomfortable.

If ElderlyPerson feels happier and safer living like this that is fine for him.

However, many would find the isolation and lack of contact intolerable leading to MH problems which have in fact increased so much for so many during lockdown.

We all have different levels of comfort zones.

I don't expect to make any changes after July 19th, since long ago abandoned the wearing of disposable gloves - after all, what was the point as I was going to wash my hands anyway? I started off spraying my shopping deliveries with a bleach solution, but then again, hand-washing removed any contamination from tins and packets. Fruit and veg were a different proposition as they might have been 'pawed' by shoppers, so they were washed in a solution of potassium permanganate. Now, just washing seems adequate. However, my mask will remain when I am in shops or public transport.

growstuff

Don't worry about people who say this kind of thing ElderlyPerson. They remind me of the playground bullies who try to goad other children into doing something out of their comfort zone (often downright dangerous) with the aim of making fun of the other children's fear.

This is really unfair Growstuff
Nobody is bullying anybody and you are doing even ElderlyPerson a disservice to throw out random accusations.
I read Molly ‘s post as entirely caring and my own was based on my feeling that for many of us, Covid may have catapulted us into an “old age” way of life which we=might not have anticipated until at least our 80’s with increased (hopefully unnecessary) levels of anxiety and obsession with health risks.
Loneliness during the lockdowns was recognised as a significant factor for those suffering from dementia and will have contributed to the isolation many elderly people suffer from. Many posts on GN reveal fear of going out, or mixing even with family or close friends.
That is not the life I intend to lead in the remainder of my 70’s, as long as my general health and mobility permit!

I am awarding myself, one of my coveted gold stars! ? No-one else is likely to do so! ?

MissMarydoll tries not to make errors. Her pupils on here take great delight in spotting them! ?

I notice the use of "different from".

Well done.

ElderlyPerson, you give the impression that you enjoy being on here. I know that during my lonely, sheilding period, I took comfort from the friendship, I found on GN.
I hope you can find some good friends on here, you will comfortable with. As long as you are content and feel safe, that's all that matters
I'm different from you, I'm a social animal and I have missed company so much , but intend to take baby steps, as I'm still over cautious.

Don't worry about people who say this kind of thing ElderlyPerson. They remind me of the playground bullies who try to goad other children into doing something out of their comfort zone (often downright dangerous) with the aim of making fun of the other children's fear.

Polly12

Are you happy, ElderlyPerson? If you are and you feel your life is fulfilling, then ignore the rest of what I am going to say.
If you are unhappy, or unfulfilled, if each day fills you with anxiety and stress, if you rarely leave your home or interact with anyone then maybe you could ease up a little on your regime? You might experience happiness and joy through freedom and interaction? (All whilst taking sensible, reasonable precautions)

Yes I am happy.

I read the rest of your post anyway.

I hardly went out before.

My days are not filled with anxiety and stress, I take the precautions so that I do not worry. I feel that I have done all I can. I rationalise it by considering that if, say, I did not use gloves for the shopping and I were in hospital with COVID-19 I would think why oh why did I not use the gloves when I had the chance to do so.

Also that it not like a physics experiment where one can try doing it in various ways and note which is needed. One go only. So better to take more precautions than may be needed than fewer, because I don't know whether it is necessary or a waste of time and effort.

I also took my little grandson to the cinema to see Peter Rabbit 2 during half term. There was no one else anywhere near us. I felt very safe.

I also think if these strict routines make anyone, including elderlyperson feel better, then that’s what they should do. We’re at much the same stage as you varian and so we’re out and about, no longer cleaning shopping, going out for meals sometimes, and I even went into London on the train and tube, met a friend and had afternoon tea at a nice hotel. I didn’t feel unsafe at any point, nowhere was crowded. We’re going off on holiday next week to a cute little cottage in Somerset, very isolated, and on a farm, but we will be out and about in the local area. At the end of September we’re off to Zakinthos hopefully, and it’s just been announced that we’ll be expected to wear a mask on our EasyJet flight, despite today’s announcement that masks will no longer be mandatory. Good, that’s a good thing.

ElderlyPerson

I remember you writing about tray liners.

I’m glad GN is proving helpful to you.

MawBe wrote:

> I am worried that your precautions are unrealistic ElderlyPerson. Are you perhaps very elderly with immune system issues?

I am in my seventies.

I have had life-changing surgery several years ago but it was not an immune system issue. However, I did give up driving as a result and using public transport is not possible for me, and before the pandemic I have used a taxi and avoided travelling, for example, previously to the surgery I would take a pet that needed a blood test to the vet, afterwards I paid for the vet for a home visit rather than having a taxi to take me with the pet to the vet. It cost more, but not running a car saved a lot. Since the pandemic a vet or a vet nurse collects the pet and goes back to the surgery and then returns the pet later, with careful five metre social distancing and care so that the pet is not ever for an instant not in supervised line of sight by at least one of us. All done with great care and planning.

The vet posts my supply of disposable gloves as needed and the postlady delivers them social distance to the doorstep.

> Did you take similar precautions eg against flu or Norovirus in the days before Covid as well?

Not to this extent. However a nurse told me over the telephone that the way flu and COVID-19 infections get from one person to another are similar, so even if COVID-19 goes I consider that the doorstep deliveries might well be worth keeping indefinitely particularly to help reduce the chances of getting flu. It is also quicker for the delivery driver to put my groceries in boxes and then go than to wait for me to unload groceries.

I had for many years always taken my own pen to the bank rather than use the pen that is chained to the counter after I saw an article about some tests where swab samples from such pens in London had been plated and MRSA found.

I don't know if it helped, but it might have done.

Elderly Person. I’m glad that you found this forum and that it has helped you. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve found that internet chums have helped me greatly over the past 18 months so I hope you continue to find this a happy place.

If Elderlyperson you are prepared to continue doing what you have been doing that's fine.

Last year we shut ourselves down on 13th March, well before the government instructed us to do so.

We are fortunate in that we are both retired and so did not need to go out to work. We were able to get supermarket deliveries.

The delivery person would put the groceries on the floor of our porch. We wore gloves and masks and filled up our own bags to take them into the kitchen. There we wiped everything with disinfectant before putting it away.

Since we have now both been double jabbed I go to the supermarket and put things away without using disinfectant, just as I used to do.

We probably do more hand-washing than before and when I go to the supermarket I go at a quiet time, wear a mask, wipe the trolley handle with disinfectant, and avoid getting within 2m of anyone.

If you have also been double jabbed perhaps you could relax a bit, but if you don't want to you don't have to.

Marydoll

Maw I have to agree with you about being unrealistic.

I am have been shielding, am immunosuppressed and know from my consultant that the vaccine will never be fully effective for me. If I catch Covid, I have been told I will die.
However, I want to live my life again and make the best of things, before time runs out for me. I refuse to spend the rest of my life isolated and a prisoner, cowering in my home. We have to learn to be careful, but realistic and manage living with this virus.
I am still very careful and will continue to wear a mask, follow strict hygiene procedures and avoid crowded places if possible.
After avoiding hospitals for well over a year, I had an appointment last week and there are more to come. I felt quite safe and strict protocols were in place.
As for quarantining post and shopping I don't do that. The only people who have been in my home in the last month have been my children and it will continue that way.
It's about what is best for ourselves, but at the same time, respecting the welfare of others.

Elderlyperson, I hope you don't mind me asking, but your story seems very familiar, have you posted about this previously?

> Elderlyperson, I hope you don't mind me asking, but your story seems very familiar, have you posted about this previously?

Your asking is fine gentle lady.

I may well have posted in a similar manner previously.

I found Gransnet a few months ago following a search engine search about Tesco trayliners.

I am male, no children, but I have found this forum very supportive and of great benefit to me.

elderlyperson You continue to do what is right for you. It's worked so far and if it stops you being anxious then its all good.

I no longer wash down shopping except for fruit but will continue to have it delivered and left on doorstep. I wash my hands more than I did before Covid and will continue to wear a mask for as long as I feel comfortable doing so. I much prefer to eat outdoors during the summer anyway as we usually have dogs with us. Now we have wonderful outdoor areas that aren't just for smokers.....my covid silver lining
Don't use public transport so not a problem.
This is the first year/18mths that we or our family including very elderly immunosuppressed parents havent had so much as a cold so we must be doing something right

Maw I have to agree with you about being unrealistic.

I am have been shielding, am immunosuppressed and know from my consultant that the vaccine will never be fully effective for me. If I catch Covid, I have been told I will die.
However, I want to live my life again and make the best of things, before time runs out for me. I refuse to spend the rest of my life isolated and a prisoner, cowering in my home. We have to learn to be careful, but realistic and manage living with this virus.
I am still very careful and will continue to wear a mask, follow strict hygiene procedures and avoid crowded places if possible.
After avoiding hospitals for well over a year, I had an appointment last week and there are more to come. I felt quite safe and strict protocols were in place.
As for quarantining post and shopping I don't do that. The only people who have been in my home in the last month have been my children and it will continue that way.
It's about what is best for ourselves, but at the same time, respecting the welfare of others.

Elderlyperson, I hope you don't mind me asking, but your story seems very familiar, have you posted about this previously?