Really stressing

Nanderin, I was sheilding for the whole of lockdown and still am very vulnerable, as I'm immunosuppressed. Despite being terrified of Still of Covid, I have decided I will no longer allow it to rule my life. Time is running out for me and I have so much I want to do.

I eventually encouraged my husband to go golfing ( he was reluctant and wanted to protect me) for the sake of his own mental health. He had been stuck at home with me for all that time, with no other company, but me and it certainly wasn't easy for him. He made a huge sacrifice to keep me safe.
On his return from the golf , he showers as soon as he comes in and his clothes go straight into the washing machine. It is easy to socially distance on a golf course and he takes his own car. We take lateral flow tests twice a week as well. It can be done, if you are careful.

Is your daughter unvaccinated through choice or for medical reasons? That makes a difference to your choice as well.

I feel sympathy for you both, but we all need to support each other and your husbands needs are as imprtant as yours.

We've been stuck indoors (mainly) for so long that any outing at all seems like a big adventure.

Still, being double jabbed, wearing masks in enclosed spaces - and still distancing when possible, our personal risk level feels very low right now.

The daughter not having a vaccine is a concern you should tackle. Unless she is told by her doctor, she should have the vaccine if she wants to live with her older and more vulnerable parents.
It’s okay to feel anxious, but golf is lower risk being outdoors and some gentle exercise and socialising is important. Chat to your doctor about how you are feeling and tackle your daughter with your DH.

Have you had your vaccine. You do not say anything about it in your post. Golf is an outdoor game. The chances of catching COVID when outside is minimal.

But your worries are not based on rationality, you are in a highly stressed and tense state, probably because of your own medical problems. I suspect if someone dropped a teaspoon, you would immediately respond as if someone had dropped a hand-grenade.

Like others, I think you need help and should see your doctor or other mental health professional.

Meandering I play golf and try to give you some reassurance no outbreaks of Covid have been associated with golf. Obviously it's played in the wide open air and players are usually quite separate attending to their own ball. All golf clubs have spent Indic instructions from England Golf to which they must adhere and although these have been relaxed a little players are encouraged to wear masks in the clubhouse and sanitised or wash their hands regularly. I am sure if your husband can go and have a nice quiet round with his regular pals he will be much happier and that will be better for you both. You could even go and walk round with him to get some air and exercise.

Is there a reason your adult daughter hasn’t had the vaccine yet, as it has been offered to all over 18’s?

Oh dear nandarin you have gone into a huge panic I think there are quite a few people like you who have gone on to have mental health problems through these lock downs

It is absolutely no good me telling you not to worry, you won’t believe me because your body and brain has gone beyond being reasoned with, you need professional help, you cannot stay at this high level of anxiety

Your husband cannot be made to live your life of fear and of course he needs to go out. Doesn’t he go to work each day ?

I expect the results you are waiting for are making you more anxious I hope you get good news from them

Please phone your surgery and ask for help or find a mental health helpline There are lots of exercises you can do yourself for stress and panic but I think you need professional help first