Really stressing

Oh dear nandarin you have gone into a huge panic I think there are quite a few people like you who have gone on to have mental health problems through these lock downs

It is absolutely no good me telling you not to worry, you won’t believe me because your body and brain has gone beyond being reasoned with, you need professional help, you cannot stay at this high level of anxiety

Your husband cannot be made to live your life of fear and of course he needs to go out. Doesn’t he go to work each day ?

I expect the results you are waiting for are making you more anxious I hope you get good news from them

Please phone your surgery and ask for help or find a mental health helpline There are lots of exercises you can do yourself for stress and panic but I think you need professional help first

Is there a reason your adult daughter hasn’t had the vaccine yet, as it has been offered to all over 18’s?

Meandering I play golf and try to give you some reassurance no outbreaks of Covid have been associated with golf. Obviously it's played in the wide open air and players are usually quite separate attending to their own ball. All golf clubs have spent Indic instructions from England Golf to which they must adhere and although these have been relaxed a little players are encouraged to wear masks in the clubhouse and sanitised or wash their hands regularly. I am sure if your husband can go and have a nice quiet round with his regular pals he will be much happier and that will be better for you both. You could even go and walk round with him to get some air and exercise.

Have you had your vaccine. You do not say anything about it in your post. Golf is an outdoor game. The chances of catching COVID when outside is minimal.

But your worries are not based on rationality, you are in a highly stressed and tense state, probably because of your own medical problems. I suspect if someone dropped a teaspoon, you would immediately respond as if someone had dropped a hand-grenade.

Like others, I think you need help and should see your doctor or other mental health professional.

The daughter not having a vaccine is a concern you should tackle. Unless she is told by her doctor, she should have the vaccine if she wants to live with her older and more vulnerable parents.
It’s okay to feel anxious, but golf is lower risk being outdoors and some gentle exercise and socialising is important. Chat to your doctor about how you are feeling and tackle your daughter with your DH.

We've been stuck indoors (mainly) for so long that any outing at all seems like a big adventure.

Still, being double jabbed, wearing masks in enclosed spaces - and still distancing when possible, our personal risk level feels very low right now.

Nanderin, I was sheilding for the whole of lockdown and still am very vulnerable, as I'm immunosuppressed. Despite being terrified of Still of Covid, I have decided I will no longer allow it to rule my life. Time is running out for me and I have so much I want to do.

I eventually encouraged my husband to go golfing ( he was reluctant and wanted to protect me) for the sake of his own mental health. He had been stuck at home with me for all that time, with no other company, but me and it certainly wasn't easy for him. He made a huge sacrifice to keep me safe.
On his return from the golf , he showers as soon as he comes in and his clothes go straight into the washing machine. It is easy to socially distance on a golf course and he takes his own car. We take lateral flow tests twice a week as well. It can be done, if you are careful.

Is your daughter unvaccinated through choice or for medical reasons? That makes a difference to your choice as well.

I feel sympathy for you both, but we all need to support each other and your husbands needs are as imprtant as yours.

I feel it is a little harsh to tell you you need professional help to deal with this anxiety.

If both you and your husband have been vaccinated the risk of him contracting corona while in the open air is minimal and probably would be even if he were not vaccinated.

So let him go and play golf. We have all been kept away from our sports or hobbies for so long that it will only do us good to get back to them.

If your daughter is to continue to live in your household, she ought to be vaccinated - if she refuses, ask her to move out, as obviously you cannot deal with the thought of her becoming ill or infecting you and others.

I realise you risk offending your daughter to the point of estrangement, but she is being unreasonable if she refuses the vaccine in my opinion.

And please look back, I assume anyone on Gransnet is old enough to remember a smallpox epidemic, typhoid, polio and various different flu viruses. We survived them all if we are still here, so there is a fair chance of us surviving this too.

Blue Belle, I am full of anxieties, from this Covid scenario!

I try to make light of it. so many of us are full of anxieties, some of us live with it. I could for a while

contact the gp surgery? all doc will do is give a prescription for some pills, that are habit forming,, addictive! and just make one into a zombie... that is what usually happens here.

Our GP surgery has a list of numbers you can call regarding covid on their home page including helpline numbers (inc local) for you to ring if you feel panicked or stressed. Can you see if yours has the same? I've found this too

I really don't think you are alone. I still feel a bit about going out and have limited where I go in all honesty but my family are going to the gym, shops, sleepovers, gosh one even went to a party! Playing golf outside and being double vaccinated and social distancing, it would be very low risk but I don't want to minimise how you feel as I think the worry from the pandemic is manifesting itself in people in different ways and you sound like you need support with that.

Look online for counselling. There are courses, advice and indivdual councellrs avalable.

If duaghter is choosing not to be vaccinated, she is a ticking COVID bomb sitting in the middle of your house. You may not get the disease badly, but if she did, she could be very ill indeed, which will not help your stress levels.

My peace of mind would depend on a vaccinated daughter or if she refuses to have it, her living elsewhere.

Don`t beat yourself up Nandarin,the chance is slim imo aspecially as golf is an outdoor activity.

Nandarin - as a psychotherapist I can tell you categorically that you are not on your own in your fears - these have become ingrained by the evidence of the randomness of covid's effects upon people whereby previously fit and healthy people have died and many who have had it and survived are now showing signs of weakness/general debilitation. Many people are afraid to leave their houses and agoraphobia is setting in with some. I have no wish to dismiss your fears but I would ask you to look around you, collect the evidence of how many people you know have been seriously ill with covid, check on your daughter's lifestyle and if she has a good reason for not being jabbed - and there are several - introduce some protocols in your home that you want her to stick to and be open about her absolute need to do this to your satisfaction - as long as you're not unreasonable and expect her to change her clothes at the door - handwashing as she enters and a regular lateral flow test should give you some confidence. It is very important for your mental health and those around you that you get your healthy anxiety under control. Maybe if you could accompany your husband to the golf club you might feel more at ease with the fear.

If I lived in the uk I would be like that, too. It is bad enough over here and we don’t have nearly as many cases. Then hearing that the vaccine only gives limited protection doesn’t help, either. I would be really,really putting maximum pressure on your daughter to get vaccinated if she lives with you

Nanderin, I think you’ve just got to be brave. Try just walking up the road and back, then try a little bit further next day, and so on. I can understand your fear, but I have been to my local town this morning and almost everybody is wearing a mask, and the shops are taking great care over our safety.

Your daughter really must get vaccinated to protect herself and you.

Sorry you are feeling so anxious.
I agree that you need to take things slowly but to get out a little would definitely do you good.
My husband has been playing golf regularly since it has been allowed. As others have said it is out in the fresh air and easy to keep a distance from other players.
If your daughter has not had the vaccine from choice you do need to have a serious discussion with her.

Nanderin are you using the home test kits available from the chemist? They're really easy to use and might give you some reassurance. I'm double jabbed but still wear masks in shops etc and test myself twice weekly. It would seem that we really do have to learn to live alongside this virus. When I first started going out it was a bit scary but the more you do it, the easier it gets and your life can return to some sort of normality. Good luck.

nanna8

If I lived in the uk I would be like that, too. It is bad enough over here and we don’t have nearly as many cases. Then hearing that the vaccine only gives limited protection doesn’t help, either. I would be really,really putting maximum pressure on your daughter to get vaccinated if she lives with you

I'm not sure that's helpful nanna8.

This individual personal risk is tiny, and the vaccines - all of them - are miraculously good.

Lots of good advice here Nanderin, I hope it helps.

Hope your test results go OK,this is probably one of the main stressors for you as well as Covid.
Could you make a phone apt with your Doctor and discuss your fears or go to the health food store and ask for a relaxant of some sort,that might easy things a bit———- everyone has had such pressure for the last year and a half your feelings are quite understandable.Consider yourself hugged,good luck ?

Two members of my family who had received both vaccinations caught Covid a few weeks back. One said she felt as if she had a light cold and an intermittent cough, the other had headaches for a couple of days. Both have thankfully recovered . I hope this will be the pattern for those who have had the jab - is there a reason why your daughter hasn't, Nanderin?

I have had both vaccinations but I also have cancer and am having treatment for it, so I had a long time shielding and am having covid tests before cancer treatment so cannot forget about it . I now live alone and have a close friend who also lives alone so we are a little bubble. we have progressed from just sitting in our separate cars and windows open and talking to each other. We now meet up with each other and visit each others house. That is fine but I am starting to do some shopping but at my own pace. I wake up very early as my back is quite painful but the good bit is that I sometimes go at 6.30am to the shop and of course wear my mask and keep well away from the small number of people that I meet. If I have a bad day and for some reason feel very vunerable I dont go out.This way I am going at my pace and now if I dont feel safe, and very anxious, or think there are too many people about I just accept that is how I feel and stay at home but dont beat myself up about it. So whilst it is good to get advice and ideas I think it is feeling in control of yourself and making whatever decision fits your feelings is the best and not to feel shoved by other people. You cannot control how other people behave but you can decide how their behaviour affects you and make your own decision about what is acceptable to you or how you need to react to their behaviour to keep your anxiety down and feel as calm as you can. I wish you good luck

Can I ask a question? During the last 18 months, have any of you actually took any measures to boost your immune system? For example, taking supplements (Vits c & D3, zinc, selenium etc) or even consuming extra garlic or pre- and pro-biotics. Rather than piling your supermarket trollies with beer, wine and gin along with ready meals and junk food.

effalump, a bit judgemental and not helpful at all, when you don't know anything about us, our circumstances or lifestyle.

There are many on here, like me, who through no cause of our own, are immunosuppressed due to illness or medical treatment. All the supplements in the world, won't make much of a difference, I'm afraid.

I've done both, hope that helps