Gransnet forums


Does your doctor ask how you are?

(25 Posts)
tanith Tue 12-Oct-21 12:49:00

Is it just me or have things have changed in the NHS?

I had an argument with the pavement on Saturday and my treatment was slow but excellent throughout at the hospital but not one of the 7/8 people who treated me asked if I was ok, I obviously was shook up and bleeding and they asked all the right questions but not how I was which really struck me.
Today I saw my GP and same, she did all the right things but didn’t actually ask if I was ok though my face is a mess . How sad when they don’t have the time to ask that question I suppose in case you actually tell them.
What a shame and I’m not blaming them I thank goodness for the NHS it seems just very different now to how it was not so long ago.

Dee1012 Tue 12-Oct-21 12:56:45

Some months ago I was diagnosed with a chronic health condition and really did go through a period of uncertainty both physically and emotionally.
During some very intrusive tests, all the staff were lovely and asked how I was "feeling".
Things are starting to settle down but last week I actually had a letter from my G.P who wanted to just "check-in" and reiterate that they were here to support me and any problems whatsoever, to contact her.
Perhaps I'm just very lucky?!

MerylStreep Tue 12-Oct-21 12:58:23

How true. I have a Spanish doctor who, without fail is up out of his chair and puts his hand on your shoulder and asks how are you
I had to ask him about this. His reply was we were taught to do that at university

Esspee Tue 12-Oct-21 13:18:04

Your post reminded me of the time that our doctor, making a house call when I had chickenpox, asked me how I was feeling.
My response was “I am great but my body has chickenpox”.
No I don’t personally remember it but my mother brought it up many times as an example of me being “different”. ?

lemsip Tue 12-Oct-21 13:20:14

No and he should. Was just thinking about that the other day.....I watch Gps behind closed doors on channel 5 sometime and thin, my doctor isn't like that.

ixion Tue 12-Oct-21 13:22:31

My late mother had a wonderful, young GP who ignored the use of his patient call intercom when summoning his next patient.
He would come right into the waiting room, look around and call out by name. He would then wait, watch and assist where necessary back to his consulting room.

He explained to me that that way, he could see for himself the ease with which his patients could get out of their seat and mobilise and that that was invaluable.

A far cry from those who sit busy with their screens and paperwork and don't always look up as you enter and take a seat.

dragonfly46 Tue 12-Oct-21 13:26:18

The last time I saw my GP for something random he did ask me how I was in general and how I was coping after my cancer treatment.

FlexibleFriend Tue 12-Oct-21 13:40:14

My GP always asks how I am, and asks after my family too but he is really lovely. I had an appointment today at st Thomas's with my specialist and he definitely asked how I was. I saw a Doctor at guys a fortnight ago, and again I was asked how I was. Am I just lucky?

Sparklefizz Tue 12-Oct-21 13:50:53

You are indeed very lucky Dee1012. I have not been able to see my GP or speak to my GP or have any contact with him at all. When I have a telephone appointment, I have usually had to wait a couple of weeks for it and it's with someone I don't know who is not actually listed at my practice, so presumably a locum.

No one has checked on me despite my having a number of ongoing illnesses, all of which I am managing by myself since the pandemic struck.

I am under a gastroenterologist at the hospital and he is supposed to be monitoring me every 6 months by telephone, but is now 3 months overdue.

Marydoll Tue 12-Oct-21 13:54:12

There is a small slope from the waiting room to my GP's room and he always comes out and to wait for me. He said that helps to tell him how I am, without having to say anything.
The last time I saw him, he surprised me by taking my coat and telling to get my self comfortable for a chat. That took me by surprised, as he was always running late. It turned out one of my clinicians had noticed how low I was, (unusual for me) and contacted him.
However, during my sheilding, I never heard a word, which was very unusual for him. I do find the NHS has changed dramatically, but am not surprised.

Newquay Tue 12-Oct-21 14:04:13

Mm I’m awaiting a phone call from (yet another) doc at our practice. Don’t know the name, had to ask if it’s man or woman. This will be the 4th doc I’ve spoken to over several months for a stomach problem. I feel I’m wasting their time but would feel such a numpty if, in say 12 months time, it was worse and they said-as was said to my friends mother-pity you didn’t get in touch earlier, it’s too late now!

JaneJudge Tue 12-Oct-21 14:07:20

Ours are wonderful with my daughter, all the ladies know her on reception too. I've not had to see them myself yet <touches wood>

Liz46 Tue 12-Oct-21 14:12:22

It's difficult to get through to our GP practise.

However, I went to the dentist a few months ago and he pulled up his stool close to me, gazed into my face and asked how I was. I have been seeing him for about 30 years and he knew that I had lung problems. He was so kind and concerned.

Yammy Tue 12-Oct-21 14:18:24

The GP in charge of our practice is one of the rudest bombastic people I have ever had contact with. Not face to face contact, a phone call.
His staff are lovely come into the waiting room and say your name with a smile then lead you to the appropriate room ask how you are and what the problem is. They have certainly not learned their bedside manners from him.
I don't think it is a new thing though I remember my father going to the Dr's and laughing afterwards. It was the old way of sitting in a room and taking whichever Dr. shouted next, one Dr was very popular and one, not my father had seen the unpopular one and the Dr.shouted next and no one got up to see him, as dad was walking to the outside door the Dr. walked alongside him and turned and shouted"Well bugger the lot of you Dr ..... has been called out you can all go home", and proceeded to start to lock the surgery door all the patients had to leave. So there have always been the abrupt ones.

tanith Tue 12-Oct-21 15:11:19

I’m glad there are still some lovely GPS out there, mine is lovely and yes she also comes to the waiting room and calls the patient, she said poor you what happened but never actually asked how I was although I’ve known her 6yrs and she helped a lot when my husband was dying. I really think it’s a case of not inviting you to mention things that you aren’t really there for and take up more of her time, I’m sure she’d be sad if she read my post as she’s lovely, just under pressure I guess.

DiscoDancer1975 Tue 12-Oct-21 15:22:21

Yes...thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that question. What they do tend to say is....” what can I do for you today?” There’s never any reference to the last reason I went in either, unless it’s the same again, or I bring it up.

I suppose asking how someone is when you’re a GP could potentially open up a whole barrage of problems, which they simply don’t have time for. They concentrate on the problem of today.

Funnily enough...if I see my doctor out of context, so the shops for example...she does ask how I am. Ironically, I’m the one who most likely won’t have the time then!

MerylStreep Tue 12-Oct-21 15:24:15

My last Doctor ( a saint of a man) had a sign in his waiting room which said i will take as long as it takes to see a patient

Baggs Tue 12-Oct-21 15:39:12

Mine who retired two or three years ago always did and if it was a telephone appointment he'd say "All the best" at the end. Only seen a GP once since then and that was to get a 'sick note' because I'd broken my shoulder. She asked how I was dealing with the pain and told me not to do any scything for a while.

The first one I mentioned was VG when Minibaggs had a health issue. He said "If you were my daughter this is what I'd recommend...."

JenniferEccles Tue 12-Oct-21 15:45:12

There has been so much talk lately about how important face to face appointments with GPS are because they have been trained to diagnose not just from what the patient says but also from their body language.

Therefore I think it’s a sign of a good GP if they take the trouble to come into the waiting room to call their own patients and escort them back to their room.

Doesn’t it make us feel valued and cared for, rather than being left to walk in after being summoned by the intercom, only to be confronted by the GP sitting staring at the screen?

I was at the surgery a few years ago, and a woman sitting near me clearly struggled to get up and walk when her name was called. I offered to give her an arm to lean on and it turned out she had severe vertigo and said the room was spinning.
Not that many years ago, the doctor would have made a house visit for someone in her situation.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 12-Oct-21 15:49:38

Yes, the doctors and nurses at my local surgery always ask.

Aldom Tue 12-Oct-21 15:52:23

I rarely go to the doctors but pre-pandemic I had potentially serious symptoms, so made an appointment. As I entered the consulting room my GP looked up, smiled and said 'How are you?' I laughed, pulling a wry face. She said 'You wouldn't be here if you were alright, would you?'
We both saw the funny side and had a giggle.

AGAA4 Tue 12-Oct-21 16:20:34

My old doctor was very good. He did ask how I was feeling when I consulted him and took his time with me making sure I had the right treatment. He has now retired and the doctor taking his place is nowhere near as good.

cornergran Tue 12-Oct-21 17:06:06

Varies for sure. An excellent, caring GP moved on, transferred to another I can’t fault her technically who will refer on appropriately, not a people person though. Happy to speak with patients on the phone, obviously no desire to have them back in the surgery and no, never asks how I am.

Aveline Tue 12-Oct-21 17:24:15

I once saw a cartoon of a GP appointment. In it, as a patient entered, the doctor said,
'What is it you think you've got today?'!

Kamiso Tue 12-Oct-21 17:27:44

I haven’t bothered trying to see a GP as our all singing, all dancing surgery is still in lockdown and it looks as if they prefer not to have pesky patients cluttering up the place.

There is a huge furore on social media locally with many people trying to change Surgeries but the others are all closing their books.

We actually received an email at the beginning of lockdown telling us we MUST consult with the receptionists as they had all had two weeks training.