Gransnet forums

Health

Kissing friends as a form of greeting

(34 Posts)
abby0950 Sun 12-Dec-21 11:23:01

I have always objected to the social habit of kissing on one or both cheeks along with a hug when meeting friends/acquaintances, but went along with this trend. This is not just because of Covid. I remember one acquaintance kissing me on both cheeks one New Year about four years ago and then announced “I hope I don’t pass on this cold I have”. He did. I am now into day 6 of the most horrendous cold after meeting friends.

How can I put it graciously that I don’t want to greet people with the usual kiss and it has nothing to do with Covid. It comes over as being “cold” and I don’t want to offend.

Kim19 Sun 12-Dec-21 11:25:02

We tend to do lovely hugs now with faces in opposite directions.

Grandmabatty Sun 12-Dec-21 11:28:55

Speaking as a former kisser and hugger, I have no problem in a distant greeting at all. I don't think you would cause offence by refusing that particular form of greeting. If people find that cold, that says more about them than you.

Esspee Sun 12-Dec-21 11:29:14

I have never been a hugger except with people I love. Now I have the perfect excuse. Bliss.

Grandma70s Sun 12-Dec-21 11:36:03

I agree with Esspee. It is wonderful not to feel obliged to hug and kiss everybody you meet. I wasn’t brought up to it, but it became a fashion we felt we had to go along with. Thank goodness, no longer!

Audi10 Sun 12-Dec-21 11:37:16

I have always hated the tradition of kissing on both cheeks, so I wouldn’t ever do it, ( not ever) I think it’s ridiculous! I would say sorry each to their own it’s not something I do, but pleased to meet you etc, if they are going to take offence then that’s their problem, I’m quite assertive so I find it easy to say what I feel,

henetha Sun 12-Dec-21 11:37:56

Definitely not kissing, but I did love hugging friends and family It's mostly stopped now, of course, and I miss it.
Anyone with a cold should certainly explain and refrain.

EkwaNimitee Sun 12-Dec-21 11:39:19

Agreed, Espee and I am using COVID as an excuse to give up handshaking too. Always disliked it, sweaty hands…yuk!

Urmstongran Sun 12-Dec-21 11:48:47

We don’t do kissing now unless it’s family. Hugs with very dear friends. And cheery ‘hellos’ and smiles with everyone else. It’s safer and I think choices for the majority have changed.

AGAA4 Sun 12-Dec-21 11:56:06

Kissing is a good way of passing on all sorts of viruses so I don't like it. Hugs for family and close friends only for me.

GagaJo Sun 12-Dec-21 12:04:18

I love hugging, and in normal times, hug anyone I feel affection for. But not now. Covid has put a stop to it.

I always went along with the continental double kiss, but really, it's not for me. I shake the hands of those I'm not acquainted with, friendly 'Hi!' for those I am but am not friends with and hug those I really like.

Purplepixie Sun 12-Dec-21 12:06:36

Stick an elbow in their mush and tell them to keep back! Or say you have herpes and don’t want to pass it on. I hate it when people assume that we want a kiss and a hug! No I don’t! So keep back!

Kate1949 Sun 12-Dec-21 12:13:58

I've always found hugging and kissing anyone outside my family awkward and cringeworthy. I'm not sure why people feel the need to do it.

abby0950 Sun 12-Dec-21 12:14:29

How do I stop what has been expected for years. This cold I suspect I got from SIL who I am very fond of.

When greeting those I usually accept a cheek kiss from do I just say “sorry not doing this any longer”.

MissAdventure Sun 12-Dec-21 12:17:18

I never kiss anyone.
Friends or family.

BlueSky Sun 12-Dec-21 13:11:21

Esspee

I have never been a hugger except with people I love. Now I have the perfect excuse. Bliss.

Same here Esspee! If you sort of stand back people hopefully realise you don’t want to hug.

BlueSky Sun 12-Dec-21 13:16:09

Same here Kate and MissA. We are not really used to it in the UK, I don’t know how they manage in Europe!

dragonfly46 Sun 12-Dec-21 13:33:11

I have always hated kissing people except family. In Holland they do a lot of it but I used to just stick out my hand!! I do that here too although since Covid I tend to smile and wave!

Kate1949 Sun 12-Dec-21 13:36:58

I can remember when I was young seeing people in France on TV kissing on meeting. I used to think 'how odd'. Now we're all at it!

notgran Sun 12-Dec-21 14:24:12

I was always thought a bit odd as I would not hug or kiss and would firmly say "No, I don't do social kissing". It was often taken to be some sort of personality flaw on my part and being in amateur operatic societies, where everyone is always hugging, kissing and touching each other, I was certainly the exception. I worked for the Military for many years and weirdly they are also very tactile and huggy kissy folk. Not with me and I also won't shake hands, never have never will. Shaking hands with a stranger who you don't know or need to know their hygiene habits? No thank you. In a way all this stuff to protect ourselves, social distancing, washing hands etc. seemed very patronising at first, then I realised lots of people (men?) just don't do these things automatically. I suppose "every cloud " etc. and people are more aware of how germs and viruses are easily transmitted.

Chestnut Sun 12-Dec-21 14:34:12

Hugs are fine, you are not in each other's faces and you can keep them fast and loose for people less close and deep and clingy for those you love most.

silverlining48 Sun 12-Dec-21 15:33:48

I am not a great kisser other than our children and gc and closest friends, but my dh always seemed to get drawn in for a kiss, sometimes someone who we barely knew, which left me feeling very awkward as I reluctantly had to accept similar with the husband. This often repeated as we parted company too .
Am quite happy to have a solid reason to just say hello as we used to do, but they have always kissed in Europe, in France up to 4 times, men too, which was a big surprise/shock for my dh many years ago now. I can still see his face.

BlueSky Sun 12-Dec-21 15:53:49

Silver yes men kiss too, a big shock for our partners! grin

Kali2 Sun 12-Dec-21 15:58:58

I grew up kissing and hugging - and we always thought it so strange our Anglo-Saxon friends couldn't handle it.

Much more careful now due to Covid, but I am definitely a kisser and hugger, and always will be.

silverlining48 Sun 12-Dec-21 16:05:34

There are a number of differences between us and some of our european cousins. The enthusiasm for nudity has for the most part, completely passed us by. Not sure about the French but certainly in Germany Austria and Scandinavia etc they are great fans,. One never knows quite where to look. blush