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Kissing friends as a form of greeting

(35 Posts)
abby0950 Sun 12-Dec-21 11:23:01

I have always objected to the social habit of kissing on one or both cheeks along with a hug when meeting friends/acquaintances, but went along with this trend. This is not just because of Covid. I remember one acquaintance kissing me on both cheeks one New Year about four years ago and then announced “I hope I don’t pass on this cold I have”. He did. I am now into day 6 of the most horrendous cold after meeting friends.

How can I put it graciously that I don’t want to greet people with the usual kiss and it has nothing to do with Covid. It comes over as being “cold” and I don’t want to offend.

Calendargirl Mon 13-Dec-21 17:37:20

Quite happy to smile and stand back.

Shaking hands is preferable to hugs and kisses, you can give your hands a good wash!

?

SueDonim Mon 13-Dec-21 17:28:12

A dear friend of mine, with whom I’ve exchanged kisses/hugs for years, has started kissing me on the lips! Nope! Stop! Don’t like it!

Chestnut Mon 13-Dec-21 14:23:50

Kali2

The title clearly says 'friends' - not strangers.

But the OP includes acquaintances which indicates people you don't know very well. We usually know what friends like or dislike, but the problem lies with acquaintances whose preferences we don't know.

Puzzled Mon 13-Dec-21 12:49:55

Hugging and kissing is a sign of affection, which is what exists between friends.
Now, with Covid, we need to be more careful, but rejecting a hug from a close friend or family member, without explanation can be very hurtful.
If both participants have been vaccinated and boosted, the risks are reduced, and the hug can be beneficial to their mental health.
I remember one lady saying to the minister as she shook hands to leave after the service, "That's the first human contact I've had in the last week"
Note how animals, particularly cats make contact when they meet. We need physical contact, albeit now, as safely as possible.

H1954 Sun 12-Dec-21 16:55:44

Not something I care for either, even in the family. Several of us suffer with cold sores which are highly infectious so we have never kissed baby and children particularly.
I just wish people wouldn't get so narked when I refuse to kiss, even if it is on the cheeks.

Kali2 Sun 12-Dec-21 16:50:17

The title clearly says 'friends' - not strangers.

Kali2 Sun 12-Dec-21 16:48:58

What a silly reply- of course I don't!!! We are talking about friends here- as per title. And I know my friends well- and it very much depends on their nationality.

Most of my friends like kissing to greet and like a good hug- and that is fine by me. Yes, most of my British friends too. If I don't know, I will always make sure I find out and respect.

But it is clear that Anglo-Saxons are, in general, the only ones who are not kissers and huggers- and are considered 'cold and aloof' because of it. (not by me, I have lived in the UK all my adult life and know that is not the case, for most.)

Chestnut Sun 12-Dec-21 16:40:14

Kali2

I grew up kissing and hugging - and we always thought it so strange our Anglo-Saxon friends couldn't handle it.

Much more careful now due to Covid, but I am definitely a kisser and hugger, and always will be.

What if the person doesn't want to be kissed or hugged closely, you just go ahead because it's what you want? You don't give them a choice, you just make a move on them regardless?

SueDonim Sun 12-Dec-21 16:18:10

I suppose it’s an invasion of your personal space, if you prefer others to keep their distance. I am quite choosy about who I’ll hug, I hate people who move in for the kill without checking first!

silverlining48 Sun 12-Dec-21 16:05:34

There are a number of differences between us and some of our european cousins. The enthusiasm for nudity has for the most part, completely passed us by. Not sure about the French but certainly in Germany Austria and Scandinavia etc they are great fans,. One never knows quite where to look. blush

Kali2 Sun 12-Dec-21 15:58:58

I grew up kissing and hugging - and we always thought it so strange our Anglo-Saxon friends couldn't handle it.

Much more careful now due to Covid, but I am definitely a kisser and hugger, and always will be.

BlueSky Sun 12-Dec-21 15:53:49

Silver yes men kiss too, a big shock for our partners! grin

silverlining48 Sun 12-Dec-21 15:33:48

I am not a great kisser other than our children and gc and closest friends, but my dh always seemed to get drawn in for a kiss, sometimes someone who we barely knew, which left me feeling very awkward as I reluctantly had to accept similar with the husband. This often repeated as we parted company too .
Am quite happy to have a solid reason to just say hello as we used to do, but they have always kissed in Europe, in France up to 4 times, men too, which was a big surprise/shock for my dh many years ago now. I can still see his face.

Chestnut Sun 12-Dec-21 14:34:12

Hugs are fine, you are not in each other's faces and you can keep them fast and loose for people less close and deep and clingy for those you love most.

notgran Sun 12-Dec-21 14:24:12

I was always thought a bit odd as I would not hug or kiss and would firmly say "No, I don't do social kissing". It was often taken to be some sort of personality flaw on my part and being in amateur operatic societies, where everyone is always hugging, kissing and touching each other, I was certainly the exception. I worked for the Military for many years and weirdly they are also very tactile and huggy kissy folk. Not with me and I also won't shake hands, never have never will. Shaking hands with a stranger who you don't know or need to know their hygiene habits? No thank you. In a way all this stuff to protect ourselves, social distancing, washing hands etc. seemed very patronising at first, then I realised lots of people (men?) just don't do these things automatically. I suppose "every cloud " etc. and people are more aware of how germs and viruses are easily transmitted.

Kate1949 Sun 12-Dec-21 13:36:58

I can remember when I was young seeing people in France on TV kissing on meeting. I used to think 'how odd'. Now we're all at it!

dragonfly46 Sun 12-Dec-21 13:33:11

I have always hated kissing people except family. In Holland they do a lot of it but I used to just stick out my hand!! I do that here too although since Covid I tend to smile and wave!

BlueSky Sun 12-Dec-21 13:16:09

Same here Kate and MissA. We are not really used to it in the UK, I don’t know how they manage in Europe!

BlueSky Sun 12-Dec-21 13:11:21

Esspee

I have never been a hugger except with people I love. Now I have the perfect excuse. Bliss.

Same here Esspee! If you sort of stand back people hopefully realise you don’t want to hug.

MissAdventure Sun 12-Dec-21 12:17:18

I never kiss anyone.
Friends or family.

abby0950 Sun 12-Dec-21 12:14:29

How do I stop what has been expected for years. This cold I suspect I got from SIL who I am very fond of.

When greeting those I usually accept a cheek kiss from do I just say “sorry not doing this any longer”.

Kate1949 Sun 12-Dec-21 12:13:58

I've always found hugging and kissing anyone outside my family awkward and cringeworthy. I'm not sure why people feel the need to do it.

Purplepixie Sun 12-Dec-21 12:06:36

Stick an elbow in their mush and tell them to keep back! Or say you have herpes and don’t want to pass it on. I hate it when people assume that we want a kiss and a hug! No I don’t! So keep back!

GagaJo Sun 12-Dec-21 12:04:18

I love hugging, and in normal times, hug anyone I feel affection for. But not now. Covid has put a stop to it.

I always went along with the continental double kiss, but really, it's not for me. I shake the hands of those I'm not acquainted with, friendly 'Hi!' for those I am but am not friends with and hug those I really like.

AGAA4 Sun 12-Dec-21 11:56:06

Kissing is a good way of passing on all sorts of viruses so I don't like it. Hugs for family and close friends only for me.