Black Dog 11

Annie don't think I know what my needs are!

Grandad's are wonderful, I had one who lived with us and was a gentle man, total contrast with my father in every way. My GC love their Grandad to bits which gives me great pleasure.

Joce sometimes plodding is all we can do. Motivation can be very hard, some days I just do one little thing on top of the necessary so I can convince myself I have achieved.

Yes Doodle I think it is appreciated, don't know how they would manage without the flexibility we can give. We do our best which is all we can.

Sorry for the outpouring yesterday, I think it was to convince myself!

Got a bit more sleep last night but still feeling very tired. Sun is shining so will get out before the rain.

Hi all x

My Grampa was my hero, he taught me about the joy of gardening, of poetry and being Welsh ! Any squabbling among his grandchildren and he would roar heddwch - peace .

Nonnie are you suppressing your needs ? just a thought x

Joyce keep plodding my love , we are with you x

Yet another problem with my prescriptions, enough said on
that.

I have decided on plants for the front of my bungalow, my younger daughter suggested red white and blue flowers and come the jubilee celebrations I can hang the flag , she did giggle when she said it , peculiar sense of humour.

How is everyone?

I have to drive over to my son this afternoon to watch the girls . Am a bit worried as we are right in the storms path. They will be out till late so I’ll be driving home after 11. If it’s really bad I will stay but they don’t have room so it will be awkward.
Annie good idea to plan your garden. Have you much room.?
I only have tubs at the front but quite a lot at the back.
Nonnie im impressed by your volunteering. But don’t wear yourself out. I feel I should do more but my confidence is low.

Nanny- what a lovely time you had with your little girls- something to treasure. Look forward to the next time.
Nonnie- your list of positives was wonderful. You have been through so much but have come through it all- we should all think more about the good things in our lives. Thank you for reminding me. Yes Grandads are special when I was little we lived with my maternal Nan and Grandad and I remember his brilliant sense of the ridiculous and still use some of the silly words he made up.?
Annie- Ooh- the 26th. David will leap off the wardrobe on that day.
I,m sure your garden will look lovely whatever you plant but it’s a nice positive thing to plan and think about while the weather is do dreary.
Can’t imagine what has happened with the prescriptions now!!
Hope they get it sorted.
Joce- hope your sleep improves soon- it is totally exhausting when those early morning worry sessions take hold.No wonder you don’t feel like doing too much.
Doodle- Glad your GP was able to help. She sounds kind and thoughtful too. Hope you both get some well needed rest now.
EllieAnne- sometimes the weather men over exaggerate how bad the weather will be and worry us. Perhaps you could sleep on the settee if you have to stay the night. Is it a long journey to your sons?
Take care all

Scaredy-cat it takes an hour on windy roads. There was a lot of water on the roads on
The way over.

Has everyone had a decent day?
Anniebach the red, white and blue colour scheme for the flowers sounds wonderful. It will look gorgeous.
Doodle and Jose I hope you both manage to sleep better tonight.
ScaredyCat , Ellie Anne and the rest of the gang - I hope you've all been ok today.

My GDs went home this morning. I've done 4 lots of washing (got loads to iron), vacuumed through downstairs, mopped the floors (laminate) and cleaned the bathroom, changed my bed, took son no. 1 for an interview (he gets made redundant end of March, after 10 years at Eon), made the dinner, loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen. I'm really tired now.... x

Annie how Lovely you had a close bond with your Grandpa. My only grandma had dementia so as I child we didn’t chat much although she did teach me to play chopsticks on the piano. DH only had one grandma too and she died when he was a toddler. I think that’s why DH and I treasure our time with our DGC.
I’m so pleased you are planning your planting. Having something to look forward too is good for us all.
Nonnie glad you had a good relationship with your grandfather and also your DGC with your DH.
I’m sorry things were not so good with your father. Mine was a lovely gentle chap. Quiet but very caring.
Hope you have a good night tonight too and feel more rested.
Ellie Anne drive slowly and carefully. I’m sure you'll be fine. It’s kind of you to help out. Hope you get home safely. Are the roads well lit?
Scaredycat a bit wild and woolly today isn’t it. Did you go for a,walk? We did and found that despite the wind it wasn’t as cold as we thought.
I’m sure you have treasured memories of your grandparents.
Thank you, we had a better night last night and DH got some much needed sleep.
HVDY sounds like you were washing sheets and things after your young visitors.
Wow how busy you’ve been all that cleaning and washing. You must be exhausted. Hope your son got on well with his interview and is lucky with a new job soon.
Hope everyone has a good night, x

Annie quite possibly but I don't know.

Why am I not surprised about the prescription? Far too often I remind my children that there is a great deal of incompetence in the world. They seem to think it is only in their sphere of life!

Planning the front garden is such a positive step, perhaps you can plan to go out and watch them grow this summer too.

Ellie Anne hope you got home safely and didn't encounter any fallen trees or debris.

I think we all have to do what we feel up to doing. Don't compare ourselves to others and never try to be what we are not.

I do the volunteering because it feels right to do it, it gives us a purposes and the person we help appreciates it and loves us for it. If we didn't do it they would have to go into the care system.

HVDY I'm exhausted after reading all that!! I usually take my time cleaning up after our family come and stay, never do it all at once, you are amazing.

Good luck with your DS's job hunting.

Doodle never knew any other grandparents and my children grew up without any so, like you, I do all I possibly can for my GC, just wish they lived nearer. Two of them have a wonderful Grandma living near them and she looks after them two days a week after school and whenever their parents want her to. She has become a great friend and comes to stay with us when she can. We are so blessed to have really good DiLs and great relationships with their parents. Shame we don't all live nearer.

We made it to the same NT yesterday and there were even more snowdrops, carpets of white. Daffs are starting to come out too. On the verges on our journey there were lots of crocus, we even saw a few primroses. We no longer live in city and have beautiful countryside nearby so being grateful again. Trying not to think about the radio programme talking about miscarriages, I will never get used to it, despite my gratitude for my DSs.

Hi all x

I did it , went in wheelchair to see the new doors, checked how
my tubs of shrubs are in the back garden, then decided to check the front patio to see how many pots I can have there,
then went down front path and a small distance on the footpath which passes the bungalows.

I found all the space rather overwhelming, sky etc.

How is everyone?

Annie that is so good. Well done!!!
I don’t think you will be doing it tomorrow when the next storm comes.
Journey was ok last night. Storm dudley had died down.
Tired today. Have been out most of the day. Most of the week really.
Dh hasn’t left house since last Thursday except to get his paper.

Anniebach Well done! Little by little, you'll get there. x

Nonnie It's great to see all the bulbs starting to come into flower. Re the miscarriages - I don't think people ever get over something like that, they simply learn to live with it. x

Doodle Thanks, my son keeps applying for jobs. x

all the gang How's everyone been today?

I had a 'phone call from the stroke department at the hospital, wanting me to have a 30-minute telephone assessment, as it's a 6-month post-stroke check-up. I said OK, she said she'd need to ring me in 20 minutes as she was busy (eh??). She then rang back, said she'd ring me next Tuesday! Madness. I went to the day centre today. I like it there. We had beef stew, cheese scone, then rice pudding with a dollop of jam. All freshly-cooked on the premises. Lovely.

Annie- What wonderful news!!!! So proud of you. It must have felt really good and you will get used to the space in time. To feel the wind on your face after so long must have been lovely. It’s really made me feel happy- sending you a massive hug????????
Doodle- glad you had a better sleep and hope it’s the first of many. Yes we walked yesterday and this afternoon. There were lots of bits of branches around but no damage really.Hope tomorrow isn’t as bad as they predict.
EllieAnne- glad you got home safely. Make sure you have a rest as you have used up lots of nervous energy .
Nonnie- what a nice family you have. So often there is a bit of rivalry between the 2 Grandmas isn’t there.
That NT property sounds really lovely with all those Spring flowers. Did your DH take lots of photos?
I,m sorry the radio programme made you feel sad- it is hard to think of lives that might have been. One of my Grandaughters has had 4 miscarriages but like you she is grateful for her little boy.
HVDY- hope you have more success with your phone call next week - it’s so important for you and you would think they would understand that.
Glad you had a nice lunch at the day centre and that you enjoy it so much
Love to all

Evening all. I have very sore eyes tonight due to allergy to tree pollen. My eyes are red, swollen and itchy…..what a lovely sight I am ?
Nonnie it’s nice you get on with your DILs family. So often on GNwe read of jealousy and misunderstandings.
Your Nt visit sounds lovely. I don’t think we appreciate the countryside as much when we’re young. Life is too busy. I think when we get older we like to stop and get pleasure from the plants and trees.
Wow Annie that’s amazing, well done you. Wonderful.
So pleased you made it outside. I hope you do it more often and get used to being outside. Even if you just sit and watch the clouds go by. The sky is beautiful so much to enjoy being outside and enjoying nature.
Ellie Anne glad you got home safely. Yes a big storm is due tomorrow. I’ve been out today tying down the plants in our balcony in case any of them decide to fly away.
"HVDY both my sons have been made redundant twice so I know what it’s like. Keeping my fingers crossed that your son get something soon. Has he thought of trying temporary jobs in the meantime.?
Your meal at the day centre sounds lovely. Glad you enjoy it there. It’s nice to have somewhere to go to look forward to.
Scaredycat glad you had a good walk. We stayed in today because of my itchy eyes and trying to avoid the tree pollen.
Yes it’s wonderful to have a better night. Hope the new medication keeps working.
So many have had miscarriages. Our family too. Sad at such hopes lost.
Take care all and sleep well x

Doodle how uncomfortable and sore your eyes sound. It must be very irritating.Do antihistamines help at all? I hadn't realised that pollen can affect people at this time of year, though of course the trees can start to blossom early. I'm so pleased that you and your husband had a better night. Do you think it's the new medication? Fingers crossed for you for tonight too.
HVDY You must have been a bit on edge waiting for your medical call. Quite disappointing to be put off again. Lovely that you can have such a good time with your son and granddaughters staying. Look after yourself too.
Anniebach That's so wonderful! I'm delighted for you. I imagine that would have taken quite a bit of courage after so long. I really did feel very heartened at hearing about you in your garden, but not only that--you went out onto the footpath too.
Ok - - so won't be long before you can pick other peoples flowers! (2nd verse Jenny Joseph poem) ☺️
Nonnie It is so good to see the spring bulbs coming up. It sounds a good NT property that you are close to. Did you say you're close to a river too..It is good to count our blessings but so many times it's not something we feel like doing when we're feeling angry or low. I admire your determination to keep your spirit up after such a tiring journey away.
Hope everyone else is OK. Scaredycat Joce, Ellie Anne * Allsorts and anyone else who I may have left out.
Hope all have a peaceful night. ?X

Annie what brilliant news, I can’t imagine how much strength that must have taken, it’s so good to hear you were out side Well done! Fingers crossed you will enjoy your garden this summer...

Doodle your poor eyes hope they are better soon..
hope you are rested after your bad nights, I wish I could sleep waking at 3.30 and my mind goes into overdrive errr

Nonnie I was out walking with my grandson today there was so many snowdrops beautiful, spring is on the way...

Hope everyone like me keeps plodding on
Hope everyone has a peaceful night sleep ?

Oh anniebach, I’m so so pleased for you, well done.

Anniebach ???

Annie BRILLIANT, AMAZING AND ALL OTHER SUPERLATIVES! What a wonderful first post to read this morning. Feeling tearful about you. Go girl, what next??

Ellie Anne I hope it is good tired, be kind to yourself.

HVDY just another case of incompetence, sorry. Day centre sounds lovely, I really enjoy a well made cheese scone, had one at the NT the other day, yummy.

Scardycat yes, I've heard that but definitely not in our case. The Grandma who sees them all the time sends photos and videos and understands how I feel living so far away. She also sends cards on our dead DS's birthday and the anniversary of his death. When she came to stay for the first time after he died I broke down and cried all over her and she helped me to let it all out more than any other friend had done. I love her to bits.

No, I only took 2 and DH didn't take any. I suppose it is because it is so close we will go back frequently.

So many things on radio and TV seem to get to me, death of a child, death of a son, anything to do with losing a child of whatever age, even before birth. Some things we just have to live with.

Doodle that sounds horrible, anything to do with they eyes is really hard to deal with. Do you know what causes it?

Sweetpeasue How are you? You respond kindly to us all.

I suppose we must live near to a river but we don't seem to go to one. We have a huge lake very near and lots of large ponds in parks and, yes, we feed the ducks! Found some duck and swan food in a garden centre and I will never be too old. Yesterday a dove flew down and fed out of my hand.

And again, well done Anniebach you've made my day.

Annie Just popping in to say how happy I am for you.
Hope all on this thread have a good day.

How is everyone on this very blustery day? I haven't been out (so had no excuse to not do the ironing, which I hate). The cat has, very sensibly, stayed curled up on his favourite cushion so far today.

Doodle Have you got any eye drops? I had Conjunctivitis a few weeks ago, and it was miserable. My son has been applying for more jobs. He's considering temporary positions.

Nonnie The death of a child must be terrible. Feeding the ducks is great! We're lucky to have a few local lovely parks with ducks, geese and swans.

SweetpeaSue How are you getting on?
ScaredyCat How are you?

anyone I've missed - hope all is well.

Hi all x

Thank you for your kind words, it really was great being in the fresh air, I forgot to wear my purple hat Sweetpeasue but I went one better than Jenny Joseph.

Friends, if you decide to do something you long to do ,fear doing it but go for it , may I advise you dress appropriately ,
I intended to sit by the front door and look at my front garden,
but shot off down the path wearing- sweat shirt and knickers !
Carer in pursuit with my Welsh shawl .

How is everyone?

Doodle- I didn’t know about Tree Pollen allergy it must be so uncomfortable.
Good job you,ve tied down your garden pots it’s getting wild out there now. Are you in the red alert area like us? The sea would be brilliant to watch but I can’t believe how stupid the people are who stand so close.
Did you have a good sleep again last night?
Joce- lovely to have a walk with your Grandson. It’s like seeing the world through new eyes when with them.
Plodding on is good
Nonnie- what a lovely lady your DiL mother is - no wonder you love her.
You are right some things we just have to live with. Sometimes if I feel really down I tend to dwell on all the bad things that have happened in my life but that only makes it worse so now as you did the other day,I will count my blessings which are many.
What a nice thing to handfeed the Dove - the bird of peace. I hope you see him again.
Rafichagran- hello hope you are ok
HVDY- your cat has the right idea stay in and keep warm.
Today is the first day for ages we haven’t walked but we,d probably get blown away if we tried!
Annie- hope you are ok after your adventure yesterday. Xxx

Sweetpeasue thank you for your thoughts. Yes my eyes are very sore but I know it’s a short lived thing so I dose myself up with antihistamines and wait for it to pass. At least I no longer have to go to work when I’m feeling like this.
Another good night for DH so hopeful the new medication is working for him
Joce how is your little man doing now. Is he walking too. Can’t believe how the time has flown.
Nonnie it’s lovely you share such a bond with your grandchildrens other grandma. It helps a lot. She sounds a kind and understanding person. We share photos and messages with our ‘other grandma’ too.
It’s the tree pollen which starts me off. It only really started after we moved near to the river and there are more trees around. Didn’t notice it much before. Just have to wait for it to pass.
It’s lovely having ducks and geese nearby isn’t it?
Rafichagran thank you. Hope all is going well for you too.
HVDY I don’t like ironing either. I tend to do it regularly so it doesn’t build up.
Yes I’ve been out today and bought the eye drops. They have started helping already.
Hope your son has good luck soon.
Ooh Annie how funny. I hope you didn’t get cold. I just have this image of you flying down the road in your top and knickers with your carer running behind you. ?
Hope your purple hat gets an outing soon.
Scaredycat tree pollen is quite common apparently. I hadn’t heard of it until I started suffering hay fever in February.
Yes I think we are in the red area. Been incredibly windy today.
Thank you DH did have another good night. We are keeping our fingers crossed. It makes such a difference to him to sleep well.
I think you were well advised not going out today. It was hard to stay upright.
Have a good weekend all. X

*Anniebach *You did make me laugh at that image of you dashing out in sweatshirt and knickers with carer hurtling after you with your shawl. I'm so pleased for you. It's just wonderful.
DoodleDo hope your eyes are a little better today but also that you and your DH get a good rest again tonight.
Nonnie I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. They're always our children even when grown adults. A part of us as we're a part of them. I'm just so sorry for your ongoing heartache. I wish I could find some words of comfort but there are none anywhere near adequate and can never be. I just want you to know I feel for you. And for Annie. And for you all.
I've not known what to say as I have not suffered these things. I've not had these terrible losses. I have tears now because I've felt the love from you all on here. I wouldn't have thought it possible to make friends on a forum like this. I felt for Ellie Anne in her car alone. I somehow can feel a little of your sorrows. But it doesn't seem right to share my silly fears. I've been terrified of forthcoming Colonography as they fill bowel with air and no sedation as with colonoscopy. So what was the stupid thing I did but Google it and came across a lot of horrifying anecdotal stuff. I know you'll tell me that people don't remark on comfortable procedures but I can't trust what Dr's say now, and yet I must. I know when they say you'll be uncomfortable what they really mean.
So there you are---I've been/am a wreck. I can't sleep for fear of this thing.
Husband had steroid injection in hip yesterday and is pretty bad today but Dr said to expect this for couple of days. Dr has sent my ECG to heart people to look at. See Gynae next week. How can I trust them. But I must.
So there you all are. Sweetpeasue I'm not.
However.
I shall take, Joce words as my own and keep plodding on.
Had my grandson for few hrs after school today and knowing that it stopped me from having a meltdown today.
I need to thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.
Thankyou and take care all of you.
Xxx

One of my blessings--
Definitely my little grandson. He's a little darling.