Eating Disorder

He might be an adult but he is, as we understand, a vulnerable adult who is having problems and is at risk at the moment.
We don't know if he has had or is receiving help currently but it's uncertain if there is anyone there to help just now.

Is he in Halls or living off campus for instance?
I'd be very worried.

I am so sorry to hear this. If I were his mother I would not be able to leave him alone at university. I think I would try and persuade him to have at least a year out and get some counselling. Possibly having a year out would solve the problem.
When my son was desperately I’ll at the age of 30 I never left his side. In the US he would not be classed as adult.
I understand your worry.

Could they contact his personal tutor, to say that they realise that he is an adult and that they cannot exercise any authority, but are conerned about his health and why. It does mean that the Personal Tutor will know what to do if he is really ill.

DS is staying at the moment and when the complicated game (Talisman?) that is occupying all the men, and boys in the family is over. I will put the problem to him has he is a university lecturer and Personal tutor to some of his students.

"I have tried to impress upon my sister and her husband the seriousness of his condition but they insist they cannot intervene if he doesn't wish them too."

I think your sister and bil know how serious this is and in a sense, if your nephew is an adult, they are right about intervening.

Sadly, eating disorders are ME illnesses and I hope your nephew is under medical care

There is nothing else you can do.

Did he have problems before he went to university?

So many students struggle at first; I've known several who have given up in the first year and returned a year or two later or as mature students. I do hope his parents don't pressurise him to stay; he won't be a failure if he gives up the struggle as it may not be the right time for him.

I don't have any direct experience apart from secondhand information from friends but I would think he needs urgent help. Presumably he is bulimic and is therefore in danger.
Is there anyone else there with him? Surely most students will not have returned yet; I couldn't have left him there alone.

He might be an adult and his parents feel they shouldn't intervene but he is a vulnerable adult who needs help.

Could he do his degree at another university nearer home and live with mum and dad?

Whether he wishes or not I couldn't leave a sick person , as he is sick. There must be a deep-seated problem causing this. Is it expected of him to do well at university ? Because it sounds to me as though he's under some sort of pressure.

It's up to his parents to have a heart to heart and to ask him what he wishes to do, even to leave if he so wishes to at least get treatment for his eating problem before it completely takes over. A person's health is far more important than struggling through exams that you mightn't be particularly interested in or have no intention of following them through.

I'd have him home if that was me and blow any further input in university education, he needs to be happy and relaxed.

Extremely saddened to read this BigBertha. You cannot fail to be worried and it is very concerning.
I hope you can get some advice from other grans who read this and have experience to offer. ?

Oh god I couldn’t put my head on the pillow at night if I were your sister.

bb I'm so sorry to hear this. Not sure what you can do unless you are exceptionally close to him.

Can you try to get your sister to contact the person in charge of welfare at the University?

Has he siblings who could intervene?