Eating Disorder

I agree it could be the new meds or something medical. He really should see a doctor in case it is a medical emergency as losing so much weight over a shortish period of time can affect the heart and blood pressure regardless if it is an eating disorder or a medical problem. If it is an eating disorder then that takes over the thought process and he will not be able to control it.

BlueBelle

BigBerther PLEASE don’t go down the anorexia/ mental health worry route until he has talked to his doctor about the tablets he has been put on
This doesn’t sound at all like anorexia

As the heading is Eating Disorder it's easy to assume that this is something that had been previously diagnosed.

If it is not the case then I apologise for mentioning bulimia.

Good luck, glad you are going to see him. I don’t have any experience in dealing with this type of situation. He is probably very frightened at what is happening and doesn’t know how to change things himself, your support will be invaluable.

Agreed Iam64 -
Monica has offered a wealth of knowledge from her DS which is sound advice for a starting point Bertha .
Please let us know how things go - and wishing your GS well very, very soon. ?

MOnica gives the most helpful advice here

BigBerther PLEASE don’t go down the anorexia/ mental health worry route until he has talked to his doctor about the tablets he has been put on
This doesn’t sound at all like anorexia

This sounds very positive BigBertha. I hope your nephew gets some good help.
The university will be familiar with student struggles but they have to know.
It must be awful watching these changes to someone you have watched growing up.
Sending hugs

This is a strange one because you say he vomited after each meal now if he was anorexic you wouldn’t know he vomited, it is a very very secretive illness the vomiting would be well hidden and you probably wouldn’t know at all

This sounds very much like a result of the medication he has been put on for ADHD it can be a nasty medication Did he want to go on medication it can take away a lot of the persons personality in the quest to calm
In my opinion there are better ways of dealing with ADHD but takes longer and is hard work

I am think he needs to put his study on the back burner for now . He needs to be at home ! Your sister is doing the right thing in trying to get him home. Many students struggle at university and often it is not an academic struggle! Once he is able to access the help he needs he can go back to university or study close to home.

I have spoken to DS, who is actually the staff member who deals with mental health issues in his department!

He says, the personal tutor is not the person to talk to as they are not allowed to talk to parents because their students are legally adults - and sometimes the parents are the cause of a students problems.

What they should do is contact the mental health welfare unit at the university and also speak to the 'Undergraduate Adminstrator' in the department he is in.

The one thing he said again and again, is that the university can do nothing about something they do not know about and neither can they do anything in retrospect. If they know a student is having problems, they can postpone deadlines, arrange any support they need and, if they consent let the lecturers who teach them know. They can note that a student has gone through a severe mental or physical crisis and this can be taken into account when marks and degree classes are being assessed .

He said again and again, that they can only help if they know there is a problem and only from the point at which they know there is a problem. There are absolutely no points to be gained for being brave and suffering in silence.

So your nephew should be encouraged to talk to the mental health unit at his university, and let them know the problems he has and about his recent diagnosis. He will not be marked down or written off because of his problems, but will find that the university will do all they can to help him. They do not want students to fail and will do all they can to help.

Ihope this helps.

He is talking about the sytem as it works in his university, but all universities have similar systems.

It may not be a traditional eating disorder as it is a common side effect of ADHD medications which are based on amphetamines that used to be used in slimming pills/appetite suppressants.

It can take some months and some trial and error to find the right dosage, and he should be being monitored He needs to speak to the GP or clinic that are prescribing the meds

I think it's a mistake to assume that his parents aren't doing everything they can. In the end, they are right that they have limited ability to do anything he doesn't want them to.

Are you sure the vomiting is an eating disorder? There are many physical illnesses that can cause this and weight loss. People with ED are usually pretty discreet about their habit, not so obvious.

BigBertha1 sent you a pm

I think that's the right thing to do, good luck and I hope he will be ok, BigBertha.

Thank you for your thoughts on this. I have spoken with my sister and she is going to try to get him back home and there see her GP. I am only 20 miles from him so I'm going to see if he will let me go and see him tomorrow. No one is pressuring him to stay at university or to get good exams or anything other than himself...he wants to be like his friends. He is a lovely person and I am close to him I actually helped to deliver him into the world. I won't let any of this go ill be onto the university myself if my sister doesn't. The medical centre doesn't 're open until next week but ill find someone to see him. Thank you for helping me think.

I agree with Lily. Some ADHD medications cause problems with appetite, nausea and weight loss. He may need his medication reviewing and tweaking.

Bigbertha1, are you able to talk to your nephew? That seems the first step. If he has been recently diagnosed with ADHD maybe his meds need checking, usually it's a psychiatrist who diagnoses and this person would be responsible for making sure the medication is suiting him at the right dose etc. I'd visit the nephew, try to talk with him and suggest he has an appointment with the medic who diagnosed him, if not this person then his GP.
People with eating disorders would normally hide any ED behaviour so if he hasn't hidden it then he needs a medical check up. He's fortunate that he has such a caring auntie.

There must be someone in charge of pastoral care at the University, they need to be informed of your nephew's condition BigBertha Hopefully MOnica will be able to provide more information.
It's a worrying time for you, your sister does need to monitor what is happening with her son.

Deedaa
Yes, there does come point. That’s how people die with this awful condition.

If a person looks thin and ill and is vomiting after meals even when staying with relatives there is a serious problem which cannot be ignored.

My 15 year old grandson has ASD and ADHD. He is prescribed medication but tends not to take it "Because I don't need it"! He is very thin (always has been) but just doesn't take much interest in food. He doesn't have an eating disorder, just no enthusiasm for eating.

I don't know when you reach a point where an eating disorder is an actual threat to health, or life but there must come a point when someone has to intervene.

Some intervention is needed. Better safe than sorry.
I hope all goes well.

I agree with Chestnut. You can offer information about a student - and show concern - that should be noted, then conveyed to his tutor. Obviously, they can't discuss it with you but it could help put your mind at rest.

I had a student with bulimia. She eventually became very poorly and had to be sectioned. She needed intervention so I think it was for the best. You can find information here:

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/

Was he sick after every meal because he has a stomach bug? Usually bulimics don’t appear to be unwell, they vomit (usually in secret) , and then appear to be normal.

Having ADHD doesn’t mean he has an eating disorder.

Has he lost weight due to stress? which is understandable in his first months of University, plus the food is usually pretty dire.

Whatever the reason is, in the short term he should be at home to make sure that he is safe and able to recover.

If his parents won't help then you must contact the University as an emergency. This young man could be at extreme risk of self-harm or even suicide if he is becoming weak from lack of food. The University needs to know this, and must intervene and take responsibility for him while he is there. Someone there needs to talk with him and persuade him to get help, then he can have counselling or medical help through them.