My 94 year old mother-in-law and the NHS

I’m surprised that your MIL didn’t know what was happening. My mum had bowel cancer diagnosed at 89 and had it all explained to her then had to make the decision about whether to have a section of bowel removed. She specifically said that she didn’t want a colostomy bag (a mistake in my opinion as she found a short bowel difficult to live with). There was no follow up treatment.

I do hope that your MIL makes a good recovery.

My father also had an op to remove a cancerous tumour in his bowel. He did not need any further treatment. He was 84 at the time.
I went with him to one of his consultations to make sure we both understood what was to happen. After the op he chose to pay to go-into a home with nursing care for a few days, as mum would have struggled to cope. He made a good recovery.

Jemimavintage I was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2017 after experiencing extreme pain and bleeding. A tumour was found during a colonoscopy and I had a sigmoid colectomy, where the entire sigmoid colon is removed and the remaining bowel rejoined. The tumour and tissue samples were sent to the lab, it was cancerous and of a particularly nasty kind but had not spread and I haven’t had chemo or radiotherapy as it wasn’t needed. I have 6 monthly blood tests to check for cancer markers but none have been found so far. I hope this reassures you a little, and definitely ask what follow ups have been arranged.

I agree, don’t Google. But remember if something is rare that doesn’t mean it can’t exist.

I think doctors will disclose as much as they think the person is willing to hear.
Some people like it all out in the open; others prefer not to know.
At 94 I would question what difference knowing or not knowing would make, really.

And don't Google!! ?

It hasn't necessarily spread

Yes, I will definitely get one of the sons to speak to the GP. I probably also need to get off the internet for a while because I'm seeing that a benign bowel tumour is a very rare thing, clinically.. yikes...

If their decision was to not offer any other treatment then gosh I totally accept that clinical decision. I'd never try to get my husband to argue against a clinical decision such as that, made by the drs... so it really is just a case of us finding out what's what.

Not long now til we're back to the UK.. /\

Perhaps they have told her but really, if she is elderly and rather confused they should have allowed her named next of kin to attend with her.
Unfortunately many follow up discussions are by phone now.

One of her sons needs to speak to either her GP or phone the Consultant via his secretary for some clarification.

When my mum was in hospital some years ago (before covid) one of the requirements was a regular team meeting when we all met to discuss her care and the outcomes. I'm surprised this isn't still happening at least via Zoom. But perhaps her sons didn't want to discuss things? Every patient should have a careplan and all the staff involved should give their opinion. I am wondering about her stay in the cottage hospital, most elderly patients cannot be discharged until an adequate care plan for home has been established. This involves home visits and any carers required. So perhaps that's why she wasn't being let out.
As far as any chemo/treatment for cancer is concerned if they thought it would be successful she would be offered it, age is no barrier.

She's home now, and has been home for about 3 weeks. She's very lucky, in that she has 3 sons who are all responsive. She lives in an assisted living block, so has access to being able to call down to reception or pull a cord for assistance (and she has a necklace with a button on it too).

I suppose that I'm just shocked that a dr wouldn't tell her directly that they removed a tumour, or tell the family. She did come away with some medication but she's confused on what it is or what it's for, so I'll take a look at it. Her 3 sons are very much into underblowing crises, which in many many ways is/has been a good thing---but she sometimes gets frustrated with them because they are sooooo chill.... and then she comes to me for some REAL TALK, lol.. I'm a northener and I just do the *BAM!! there it is!!* .......thing....and just get it all out on the table..... because that's my own cultural upbringing.... whereas the 3 sons (including my husband) are very much into the talking around any particular issue without actually naming it. It's been quite an interesting experience.

But yep the most troubling aspect for me is the lack of direct, clear language on what they found and what any likely future treatments options may or may not be. I'd be more than happy for them to say to the sons 'At 94, it would be unlikely that any other treatments for cancer... would be beneficial to her quality of life'. I'm not pushing for her to have any aggressive treatment but perhaps there could be more direct talk.. at least to the sons, so that maybe they can decide what's best for her mentally and physically..

Germanshepherdsmum

Maybe the tumour was found when they operated and was benign or hadn’t spread.

I was going to say that.
Even if it was cancerous it may not have spread to the lymph nodes so she shouldn't need further treatment if so.
Better out, too.

I think the NHS are being more informative now as they do seem be sending out letters to patients as well as to GPs explaining what has happened and why.

You say she's a "tough nut" - she appears to have come through the surgery fine.
Physiotherapy might just consist of making sure she is mobile, perhaps can climb stairs if she has to negotiate them at home. It's not going to be intensive or long term (it certainly isn't here).

Will she be going back to her own home; does she have a care package or help?

Maybe the tumour was found when they operated and was benign or hadn’t spread.