Black Dog 12

That truly was not meant I assure you! I pressed the wrong place. So sorry.
But anyway have received letters today from hospital. My op and pre assessment Brough forward by 3 weeks. No reply from Gynaecologist but I guess this is it.

Thankyou to all for your support. X

Doodle Thankyou. I aim to try and get appt with the GP that knows my predicament and is there on Thursday. Will ring on morning along with everyone else stampeding for appts. Never had to wait this long for results of urine sample(put in last Tuesday). Rang surgery again just now. Message saying all of the surgeries are closed in our Health Trust area (which is vast) due to Mandatory staff training.
Have had a 4 mth and 3 mth wait between appts with this gynaecologist. Then delays because of seeing Gastroenterologist.
Anniebach Yes, thankyou GP knows well my anxiety and pain. 3 times to A&E when violent bowel probs were at worst in that 2 month span. Have had to research my predicament as no help or disclosure of things that went wrong in op. When you're in pain and bleeding with no answers, no alternative.
My 'turn' for counselling magically came available after just over a Yr! Went to first one last week and it was a huge relief. Unfortunately I've had to cancel one which would have clashed with GP appt on Thursday. She called today and on holiday next week so can't see her for fortnight. But she was really nice.
Hope you're OK today and more comfortable with the cooler weather. Fog and cool here today. Poem much appreciated Annie.
HVDY You've kept busy this morning. It can distract from our anxieties can't it? I hope my problems are not stirring up your own issues but I can imagine they may be. I do feel for you. Hope you have a nice afternoon with your sister in law.

AND the positive today is.

Annie that is a wonderful poem. Thank you so much.
So very true and well written.
How are you today? It is much cooler here I’m pleased to say and we have has some rain. Not much but more is due. I feel better already now it’s cooler.
Sweetpeasue of course we believe you. Why wouldn’t we. No one wants pain and anxiety. We would all far prefer to be happy not miserable. I do wish your GP and Consultant would do something to help you. As Annie says can you tell your Gp about your anxiety and depression. This pain and the worry about it is really getting you down as it would anyone in the same circumstances.
HVDY it’s good it’s a bit cooler isn’t it. That will be a nice trip today with your SIL. You will have a lot to talk about. Does she live far away?

Hi all x

Ellie Anne I hope you have telephoned the surgery and asked to speak to a GP, if not please do it today, you are adding to your anxiety by not doing so x

HVDY another busy day, but how are you? x

Scaredycat sorry you have had health worries, one telephone call and your mind put at ease , you so love your sister x

Doodle you reminded me of yet another poem ! Will post it x

Sweetpeasue are you doing too much research ? I am reminded of my granddaughters when high school age, their
father had a lump in his neck, they came to me very distressed
and said daddy has cancer, they were so sure because they had
searched on line, he didn’t have cancer.
I don’t understand why a urine test result is taking so long.
How many times have you been to A&E ?
Have you told your GP you have depression and severe anxiety? x

My poem friends, ready ?

TROUBLE

Never trouble trouble
Until trouble troubles you,
For you only make your trouble
Double trouble when you do,
And the trouble like a bubble
That your troubling about ,
May be nothing but a zero
With it’s rim rubbed out.

How is everyone?

How is everyone this morning? It's cooler and fresher here, 20 degrees. I've been faffing about - took my nail polish off, did them a different colour. Done more washing (there's nothing left in the basket!), mopped the floors downstairs. I can't go to aqua aerobics because of having this heart monitor on, so I'm going to see DH's sister and we'll go for a pub lunch. We haven't seen each other for 7 years. Hope everyone has a better day x

I'm just so thankful that I have friends here. I dont think you'll ever know how you help me just by understanding my predicament. It means so much to me. I've said that I know there's nothing you can say, but you have proved me wrong. You see, you believe me, and I have had a long standing friend who dropped me.
HVDY That's astounding. They gave you the wrong drug! You lost your job. They admitted it. You so understand. Taking things further, for me, would be about validity of truth and an acknowledgement of what happened. I contacted solicitors a year ago. They wanted to know what the outcome would be of the alleged mistakes. I didnt know at the time. Now I'm beginning to see.
If I have severe endometriosis, I may be in for future surgeries to keep taking it off organs. I've researched how a postmenopausal woman could suddenly get Endometriosis. It's very rare and can be caused by prior traumatic uterus surgery. Sorry. I'm getting carried away. Obvs a lot I can't say.
Really I just wanted to thank you and bless you all for helping my state of mind.
EllieAnne It's not the same when we can't kepp the same GP is it? I do understand. The one who I've had has not been available and only works 1 and a half dys a week and will be retiring soon. We can't have F2F hardly at all. But when I've had calls from others they've been very kind. I think GPS are on the whole very kind and understanding, even under immense pressure. Please uck up courage to call. I'm sure you will be helped. Thankyou for your caring and kindness.

Hope you all have a peaceful night. X

Ellie Anne hello how are you. It’s difficult these days when you don’t know the doctors. Hope you get an appointment soon.
Has your husband gone off to look after your DDs cats yet?
Hope you have a bit of a break while he’s away.

Scaredycat yes it was nice to sit in the garden in the shade,
We have full on sun here all day and very little shade.
My SIL had that labyrinthitis once. It was awful she was unable to move and was so sick.
So glad you got to see a sympathetic GP and are more relaxed this evening. Hope you are feeling ok.
HVDY must be very difficult having a relationship where children are involved. I’m glad your son and his girlfriend made up but hope the children can get on with each other too.
It’s often difficult for the children in new relationships.
Just read all you e been doing today and feel exhausted just reading it. Hope you’re not overdoing things. I’m not surprised you’re tired though ?
Annie I agree with you. If somethings wrong medically I’d rather find out and deal with it than leave it. Funnily enough I am the opposite with troubles and worries. I try to hide from them and hope things are ok. Your carer certainly is an angel. That is dedication. No wonder you’re so fond of her.
So pleased it’s a bit cooler for you. I’ve felt better today too.
Violetsky so pleased your son has arrived. You sound so happy. Hope you have a wonderful time together. Is he staying long? Enjoy your hugs.
GSM nice to hear from you. Hope you are keeping well and doing ok.
Sweetpeasue there have been a couple of times when I’ve felt I was going mad too. It’s a horrible feeling. Your panic and anxiety is evident,. I’m glad you posted even though there’s more you can say.
I am really surprised your urine test results aren’t back yet.
I really think you need to go back to your GP again with your DH and tell them again how you are feeling. I know you’ve done that so many times and got nowhere but they really should listen. I have never known anyone go through so much pain and anxiety as you without getting some answers.
I wish we could help more. The only thing I can suggest is to keep on phoning the GP. I know you won’t have the strength for it but someone has got to listen. Thinking of you x

Sweet pea sue what a horrible situation you are in. I wish you could get the help you need. I really don’t understand how the drs can leave you in this state. I know you don’t want to go to a and e but you can’t go on like this.
I’m not worried about what’s wrong with me. It’s making the phone call that’s the problem. And I don’t really know any of the drs because they keep changing and I’ve always just seen whoever was available And none for the last few years. For the blood tests I’ve seen nurses or care assistants. It’s a big practice.

SweetPeaSue It's terrible for you and all we can do is sympathise. You shouldn't be in this awful situation. Is there any point in contacting a No-win, no-fee place? I tried, they wouldn't touch it.

Doodle Son has made things up with he girlfriend and was at her parents' for a BBQ after work today. He's staying at GF's tonight. I never stop worrying about him. Good job Son2 is always doing well. I hope your worries about your family have been allieved.

ScaredyCat I hope your health problem is being resolved.

I hope all on BD has a good rest tonight x

HVDY- oh dear that wasn’t a nice thing to do-hope they got it all sorted though and enjoyed their meal together.
My you,ve been busy - it must have been after that lovely sleep,you had . One good thing about this weather is how quickly the washing dries. Glad you found time to speak with your friend and see your son.
Annie- your carer sounds wonderful- what a lovely caring lady she must be.
I nominate my sister as an Earth Angel - she is the most caring person I know.
Glad your tummy has settled down.
VioletSky- so pleased your son has arrived safely- enjoy this precious time with him. Take care of yourself and hope your health improves as the weather does.
GSM- nice to see you here.

These last few days I have been worried about a health problem so this morning I called the surgery and I was able to see the nice young doctor this afternoon. He was so kind and did a couple of tests that put my mind at rest. I had been very frightened. He also was very in tune with mental health problems so thank you NHS for today.

Doodle,EllieAnne,SweetPeaSue and all have a peaceful nightxx

VioletSky Lovely to have your son visiting. Enjoy your time with him.
Anniebach I'm glad you have such a good carer. You can see your tree in blossom again now it's a little cooler. We appreciate things so much when we haven't had them don't we?
HVDY You've been busy. I'm grateful too for the cooler weather. It's been thick fog on the coast yesterday and this morning early. Clear by midday though. Hope son makes it up with girlfriend. We do worry about them don't we?
EllieAnne Do hope you are getting your health sorted and have called your surgery for appt. If you have anaemia the sooner its dealt with the sooner you will feel better.
Doodle The heat has been draining. We don't like it at all. I appreciate your thinking about me very much. I hope you and your husband are alright and your dear grandson.
Scaredycat You will be counting the days until you can visit your son again. I do hope your AF is not too bad at present. I wonder if you find it is worse with the excessively hot weather.
GSM I had noticed your absence on GN and have wondered about it. Good to see you back.
Nanny I really hope you are OK and sending love.

I have not trusted myself to post as I'm struggling so much. Every night I wake with the pain and fear. They come together. Fear and gut wrenching anxiety. Im in bits about all this. The uterus pain feels like acid burning through. Think bowel pain and bladder problems all connected to this. No results from urine test back. As soon as I open my eyes I'm in the nightmare of fear and I hyperventilate. No response from Gynaecologist after my messages or to Dr's letter. I think of solicitors, private health care, making will, I'm losing my mind when I need to focus. Just as well I'm posting now as I'm demented most of the time. I've been wronged big time but can't explain what it feels like. I could put the whole thing behind me if not for my worsening pain. What a complete betrayal. I don't deserve this. I'm living in a completely different world where I'm alone and no one can help me. I'm sorry. I've resisted posting as there's nothing anyone can do. Just erased much more. I don't know whats appropriate any more on here.
I'm not myself. Sorry.

Anniebach Sorry to hear you've got an ulcer. I'm a "head" person. I'm glad it's cooler, aren't you?
*VioletSky. Glad your son arrived ok. Enjoy the visit.

I've been very busy today - did some washing, hung it out. Did a load of ironing (10 shirts) and then stripped all 4 beds. Made up 2 of them (bunk beds will be done next week when the GDs are here again) Had the washer on twice more, hung all that out. Vacuumed through downstairs, changed all the cushion covers. Rang a friend, we chatted for an hour. Just nipping round to see Son2 (he works from home 4 days a week) It rained here for 10 minutes!

He is here, he has run off to have a quick shower due to a long journey. If I am not around for a few days it is because I'm happy x

Thank you Annie. I really appreciate that.
Always thinking of you all.

HVDY so glad you got a good rest

Like the rest of you, I am really looking forward to being cooler. I'm a bit worried about flooding with lots of rain.

If I still feel this unwell when it cools down I will go straight to the doctor promise

ETA 2 hours till son hugs

Hi all x

Ellie Anne do telephone your G.P. The unknown is far more
stressful than The Known x

HVDY tummy is calm, I believe we are head or stomach people, thank heaven I have never had a migraine but have had
a perforated ulcer, still have a stomach ulcer x

Scaredycat there are people who are so caring I call them
earth angels. My carer cycled 14 miles 3 evenings last week ,her husband needed the car so she cycled in to close my back door, she drove in the rest of the week . I so hope the Af eases now the heatwave has past x

Doodle it was 32 / 34 every day in my living room, today I
have my window blinds open for the first time since the heatwave, the joy of seeing the cherry blossom tree again , am sure your energy levels will rise now x

GSM if you read this thread, I am so relived to know you are
back, I have been concerned x

How is everyone?

Anniebach Hope your anxiety is easing a bit, and that it's cooler where you are.
Doodle Thanks. They fell out because he told her son off (she ought to have done so) because the boy (12) pushed our 7yr old to the ground, hit her and caused her to have a lot of grazes and scrapes. I hope you and your husband are ok.
EllieAnne Make the call to the GP and get yourself better.
ScaredyCatHope you're getting on ok.

I was so tired yesterday, so went to bed at 10.30, slept until 6! It's expected to reach 27 degrees today, so warm but not as bad as the 34 we've had recently. Hope everyone on BD has a much more comfortable day x

Doodle- hope you,ve had a nice shady day with your son. It was another hot one here to day but it seems slightly less hot this evening.
SweetPeaSue- hope you are doing ok today.Thinking of you.
VioletSky- hope you have a lovely visit with your son .Don’t work too hard if you don’t feel well- he will just be pleased to be with you. Feeling dizzy is so unpleasant- I feel lightheaded a lot of the time . If it continues you may need some meds. Years ago I had labyrinthitis and couldn’t even open my eyes or I was sick !! Hopefully though it’s just this awful heat affecting you. Take care.
HVDY- Love the tale of Mr Coopers naming- no wonder he is special. Just noticed the time on yours and VS posts- it was such a hot night and so hard to sleep.Hope you both managed to get some sleep in the end. Hope your son made it up with his girlfriend and they enjoyed their dinner.
Annie- can’t wait for it to cool down and that your tummy then settles . It’s the first time heat has made me feel so bad.
I,m glad you have your own earth Angel - such a lovely expression.
EllieAnne- pleased you,ve haD some gentle warm weather it has done you good hopefully. Make your call - you need your results anyway for peace of mind.
Take care all and hope tonight is more comfortable for everyone

You must be looking forward to your son’s visit Violetsky is he just coming for the day or is he staying with you for a while?
HVDY I hope your son and his girlfriend make up ok and have a good time at the restaurant. Fingers crossed for them .
Annie I for one will be happy when it’s a bit cooler. I feel wiped out by the heat and don’t have the energy for anything. It’s been over 30 again today. Hope it’s not nearly as bad where you are.
Ellie Anne I’m glad the sunshine has lifted your spirits. Try and get an appointment to discuss how you’re feeling. Hope you are ok.
Sweetpeasue Scaredycat thinking of you too.
Have a peaceful night all.

HVDY your son and DGDs must have been worn out with the heat but I bet they had a good day.
Sorry about your son and his girlfriend. You must be disappointed. Hope they can sort it out.
What an interesting story about how Mr Cooper got his name. I liked Henry Cooper.
Violetsky DH and I spent a pleasant hour in Sainsbugs hovering round the frozen food aisle. ?
That dog is a nuisance and also a worry. Any dog that barks that long should have someone looking after it so wonder what’s happening to the dog too.
Good idea to get your thyroid checked soon.

I have enjoyed the good weather though we have not had it as warm as you. It has definitely helped my mood. We were forecast thunder at 4 pm but it hasn’t come yet. I haven’t had any results from blood tests so am trying to pluck up courage to phone and to ask for a n appointment to ask about lightheadedness .

Hi all x

To all who post here and all who read Black Dog, I hope the
cooler weather which we are expecting will ease your anxiety
and depression, I certainly hope my churning tummy will calm
down .

How is everyone?

Thanks, VioletSky. He and the girlfriend are going out for dinner, to a restaurant that won Come Dine With Me recently. It's far too hot to do any housework - my house is a hovel since the GDs have been here (I'm not exaggerating) but they'll be going home at 5.30, so I'll tidy then but do some actual cleaning tomorrow. Loads of ironing to do as well. Enjoy your visit with your son x

How has everyone been? I cannot bear this weather. My feet and ankles have puffed up hugely.

I also have son 1 coming for a visit, it's a long journey though and he won't be here till tomorrow so I really want to get some housework done, it's just impossible in this heat.

Hope they sort everything out soon HDVY