Black Dog 12

Scaredycat I just thought of a friend. She was actually the original teacher of our class when it first started in Adult Education in college. We have a phone relationship really. Our group continued when the College was demolished with various leaders. Yes everyone is nice really.
Glad you didn't need dental work.
Annie Hope you're OK today. I don't think it's as warm as it was so that must be a relief for you. Only stand by for Sunday and Monday!
Doodle I only once went on a weekend holiday to Denmark 40 yrs ago. It was one of those smaller 'ferry' ships not cruise liner. I was terribly sea-sick for hours. I hope the sea is not rough like that for you. You must have sent the cooler air though.

Picked up grandson who was delighted to see us and got big hug straight away. ☺️ I know they're only small for a short time, then they will be leading their own lives Annie. That will be very hard. I don't see my other grandchild as much as they live in Midlands.

Love to all.

SweetPeaSue- good idea to persevere with the book club- you may still be able to build bridges and if the other people are nice it,s worth it.
What a good job you picked up your tablets- what a pain it would have been to miss your X ray.
Doodle- oh dear hope the sea has calmed down a bit now. Are you ok or does it make,you feel,sick?
Dentist ok thanks just a check up. I have to be fastidious with cleaning as I have implants so go very regularly.
I,m a background melter too- sometimes in a crowded room I can feel,lonely -is that the same for you?
Enjoy your evening aboard.
HVDY- you put it into words so well how you and many of us feel sometimes. But you are right we are good people- thank you
So,glad your GD had a good day- what an adventure she is having.
It’s a bit fresher here too today- we had a walk this afternoon.
Sometimes socialising requires more effort than you can muster- wonder what lovely food you missed today. Still I bet Mr Cooper was delighted.
Annie- hope you too are a bit cooler today.
You haven’t mentioned your food situation lately- have you been able to have a bit of variety at all?
Doodle- if you ever pop in hope you are doing ok - we miss youx
Have a peaceful night allx

Morning HVDY. I'm fine thankyou. Bowel churning a little but nothing major. Just had to do a 25 mile trip to hospital to pick up marker tablets to take before x-ray next week. They hadn't posted them to me as they'd said so I'd have missed X-ray if I hadn't gone for them. A lot fresher here too, 17 at present. Yes, I know that feeling of not wanting to be in company socialising - - Mr Cooper being the exception. Hope the book is good. Have a nice pub meal later.

Good morning, all. How is everyone? It's a lot fresher today, thankfully. It's apparently 18 degrees, which is pleasant. I haven't gone to the day centre, just didn't fancy being sociable somehow. A day indoors with my Mr Cooper and a book x

ScaredyCat and Anniebach. Thank you, I have made a huge amount of progress. (I don't look as though I've had a stroke, never had the one-sided weakness).

AnniebachCan you ring and badger someone to get a physio appointment soon? Have you got a social worker or anyone who could help you?

Doodle We could do with it being a bit blustery here! I hope the choppy waves settle down.

EllieAnne and SweetpeaSue We're introverts, nothing wrong with that at all. Many people who "know" me think I'm confident because that's what I try to portray myself as. One woman said she thinks I'm very self-assured. She doesn't know me at all! I think if you hold your head up, walk as if with a purpose, and smile at people, it conveys an air of confidence. I can manage that on a good day, but at home, I'm full of self-loathing, self-doubt, anxiety and all the rest. We need to be kind to ourselves, we're good people.

My GD (11) enjoyed her 1st day at big school, and was full of it! She's going tomorrow and Friday and the kids of her age are staying overnight at the school - I've never heard of that before. She'll enjoy it.

It's cooler now, and getting dark. I've watered my hanging baskets and new shrubs. Hope everyone on BD has a restful night x

Hello all. I think I can post today if the internet holds up. Been a dreadful sea day. Vey choppy and waves high. It seems to have settled now but not had much to eat and kept in put room
Scaredycat hope the visit to the dentist went ok. No walking on deck today too windy and rolling. Hope you and yours keeping well
HVDY you must have good teeth if that’s all you needed done. My teeth aren’t good. I don’t really worry about the dentist which is a good thing as I’ve hardly got a tooth or my own left. ?. Nice your 2 sons get on. Hope they have a good time together.
sweetpeasue I could send you some cool air but it might be a bit blustery,
Annie how nice of your neighbour to pop in and shut your door in the evenings. Your dogs must enjoy their extra freedom.
Your room is so hot. Could your brother get you a fan to keep you cooler.
Ellie Anne feeling people don’t like you is part of feeling insecure and low. We like you. You are our friend.
If your daughter tells you off for putting yourself down that sounds as though she thinks more of you than you do. She doesn’t think you should feel like that about yourself.
sweetpeasue you too have that feeling of insecurity. I know that well. Some people always assume they are the life of the party and others like us just want to melt into the background.
Doesn’t mean that’s how others see you.
You have been kind and supportive to others on this thread.
We are all different and each one of us has our place in society . Try not to feel so bad about yourself.
Sweetpeasue you do have friends, us. I have very few friends. Maybe one or two but not loads. I think that’s common for people today.
To all the BDG Take care all dear friends. We are here for each other. x. Be back when ever I have WiFi connection.

Scaredycat What very kind words for me. I was overwhelmed. I hadn't realised when first posting on BD how much I would come to know you all as true friends but you really are on here. It brought tears when you said that, I'll admit it. Thankyou. So you got some potatoes yourself from that one tiny one planted, think that's serendipity isn't it. Yes the blue flowers are pretty. We planted a climbing Solanum (potatoe name) 10 yrs ago and it flowers with those little blue starry petals. It has flowers at present. Neighbour thought it was a Wisteria but nope, it's name is your common spud name! Certainly not what the policeman thought. ?
Book club is not same as it was. The friend who no longer communicates with me is there and I feel awkward. I wish I knew what happened. But I will go for a little longer.
Annie Just thought I'd say, at the part of class where we read some poems we were asked if any of us wanted to pick one. I saw on the page Jenny Kissed Me and asked to read it. No one knew why I'd picked it but I thought of you and your husband when reading it. Its such a beautiful little poem. A treasure for you. Thankyou for telling us of it. I'd never heard it before.

Hope everyone manages to sleep peacefully tonight. X

Annie I had an older sister but we weren’t terribly close. As children we really didn’t get on. As adults we were ok but not really like most sisters. Sadly she died of breast cancer age 54.

Annie- you must feel so uncomfortable - your room is far too hot. Is there nobody who could get you a fan to cool you down! At least you can open your door to let your little dogs out to carry on their flirtations!!
I think you can get cooling sprays that might help.
I must admit I often use my phone for photography as the cameras on iPhones are so good now. You can edit them too.
HVDY- would have loved to see the squirrel on your birdbath- a bit like a spa for him.
Enjoy your visit from DH I bet she,ll be bursting with news to share with you.
Yes today is a momentous Anniversary but it’s one I guess you would rather forget. You have come so far and done wonderfully- such a brave lady.
SweetPeaSue- what a lovely part of the country you live in- gorgeous coastline too.
What a good idea to grow your potatoes in buckets- the policeman must have though you were growing Waccy Baccy!!!
We are useless gardeners but during lockdown we put a potato in the ground and then forgot we,d done it. Such a pretty plant came up with little purple flowers and then gave us enough baby potatoes for one salad!!
It’s funny how some books really affect you isnt it - sometimes when you finish one it leaves such a hole for a while.
I,m sad about your lack of friends because you sound such a nice kind person. I ,m sure your book club people all like you very much. I do understand the lack of confidence though as Often I feel like a nuisance to everyone especially when the health anxiety gets the better of me.
You do have friends - US!!
EllieAnne- you sound like another person who would be a lovely friend. Hope you get some better weather soon but not as hot as it is here we,re indoors as it’s so stuffy outside!! All those Winter months longing for better weather and now it’s too hot???
Take care all those I,ve mentioned and all those who come herexxx

Hi all x

HVDY certainly not an anniversary you would wish to celebrate, be proud of the progress you have made ?

Sweetpeasue what happy times when grandchildren are young, enjoy every moment, my three are now adults and there is such a big gap in my life , sorry you are feeling down,
this heat is affecting my emotions x

Ellie Anne please share one thing you know you are good at,
May I ask do you have siblings? x

Scaredycat definitely no walking an evening stroll around the
garden is enough in this heatwave x

My wheelchair, can use it because I can’t put any pressure on
my wonky ankle and other leg twisted by arthritis , still no
appointment with physiotherapist. It is robbing me of independence, having a neighbour come to close door to garden in evening, I am grateful but want to do it myself,
miss playing ball with my dogs and looking at my shrubs.

How is everyone?

SweetpeaSue Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I've come a very long way. Ah, children grow up so fast, don't they? It must be lovely to hear the children singing. Enjoy your time with your grandson. Precious moments. Sorry you've been feeling low. These feelings often pass, and I hope you feel brighter soon x

HVDY My GS is changing classroom tomorrow. We're picking him up from school so he will tl us all about it. I think it's a 'proms' day today at his Primary school and we can hear the music from the field. All the children have just sang Hallelujah. It was so moving. School only about 1/4 mile away.
I go to my book class this afternoon. Didn't go last 2 weeks because of Covid. The class has changed much since I started. More like acquaintances really. Have felt a bit low lately, difficult to explain.
Oh dear, not surprised you won't want to mark the anniversary of going into hospital. It will most likely bring back horrible memories for you so sending you my thoughts today. How far you've come since then and with your own perseverance and determination to get well. That is something you can be truly proud of. ?

It was a year ago today that I went into hospital with Covid and was put on a ventilator - the stroke happened somewhere around 20th and I woke up on 27th. My friend asked if I'm going to celebrate my anniversary! Erm... no, but I am glad to be here and be so well now.

Anniebach Sorry to ask (you may have said before), but why can't you use your wheelchair? Have you at least got a fan in your room? x

SweetpeaSue I noticed you said you haven't got any friends. That's rather sad. I know what you mean about losing a friend's support when you needed her (I had a so-called friend who stopped contact when I could have done with her support). What about your book club? Is there anyone there you could be friends with? I've got a couple of friends, but like you, lack confidence. Wish we on BD all lived near to each other. At least we're all here for one another x

There's a bit of a breeze here today, which is pleasant. Seeing the eldest GD only today. She's spending some time at her new (comprehensive) school this afternoon, in preparation for moving up in September, so no doubt she'll be full of tales about it. Hope everyone manages to stay cool today x

When I said meetings with friends, it was meant in a past tense as I don't have any at all. I lost one I thought was a friend, when I had mental health problems after Dr's lied to me when a simple procedure went wrong. I never felt so alone, and actually, I do now, though I, plod on.

EllieAnne I can't say too much on here. But I too have always felt a debilitating lack of any self-esteem. It has affected EVERY aspect of my life. I never instigate anything, meetings with friends or anyone, in case they don't really want to meet up with me and I end up putting them in an uncomfortable situation. I'm probably saying too much tonight, but I can see where you are coming from.

Annie I would swap our temperatures for yours. It’s been cool and grey. We’ve been told it will be hot at weekend. Hope you have got a fan.
I’ve never had much confidence but it is worse now. I feel people including family don’t like me. My daughter gets really annoyed with me for putting myself down. I think I’m just so tired after the last few weeks

Annie Seems like I was wrong about the windows open in heat. Husband says best to keep shut when it's very hot. 29degrees is awful in your living room though. I didnt realise you were unable to use your wheelchair. Why is this? Can't your carer help you into it or is your ankle so weak? It must be dreadful to stay on the sofa and your strength will weaken. I'm so sorry.
Scaredycat The sea is 3 miles away from us at Saltburn by the sea. We're about 7miles from Redcar and 30 from Whitby. We do love the coast. Our plums are Victoria ones, yes. We have a small garden but we like to grow things in containers too. We have 10 buckets of potatoes growing along our garage wall. Once a policeman stopped outside our garden and asked what they were!! I admit, they're not exactly ornamental.
HVDY You have a sensible son! Mine came back with sunburn a few years ago. Glad the Dentist appt went well. I'm still not happy with the filling she did on mine but I've been twice about it now. Hope the aqua aerobics was fun. Just done bit of shopping today and finished a book I'd started that left me in bits after a v sad ending! Books should come with warnings.
Doodle Lovely of you to pop by Doodle. Can you send us some cool air?

Have a peaceful night all. Hope its not as hot for you Annie. X

Anniebach Little flirts .

The birds have been in the birdbath today, flapping about and enjoying it - when I looked out earlier, a squirrel was sitting in the birdbath! He was having a drink. Why didn't he just use the (2in deep) roasting tin full of water I'd left under the conifers?

It's still too hot . Son1 and a couple of mates have gone to Son2's house for a BBQ and beers. Just DH and me this evening, so we had pizza and salad. How's everyone doing? x

Hi all x

Dental appointments are the highest cause of anxiety, I would be concerned if anyone said ‘ yippee I have the dentist today ‘,

Ellie Anne you seem so low in self confidence my love, has it been squashed or has it always been so ?

HVDY my little dogs are enjoying themselves, a neighbour
offered to call in the evening to close the door to the garden ,my carer leaves it open in the morning, they are having much
enjoyment yapping at the neighbour’s Lab, little flirts x

Sweetpeasue hope the run of feeling better lasts x

Doodle hugs x

Scaredycat oh how I miss my camera. Far too hot for me,
can’t open windows, still can’t use wheelchair so on the sofa day
and night, can’t even go into garden, last night temp in living
room was 29 . x
How is everyone?

ScaredyCat I hadn't been to the dentist for 5 years, so was dreading it (it's a new dentist) but 2 x-rays and a scale/polish was all I needed. Hope your appointment went well.

It's a bit cooler here today, and a bit overcast (I hope it will rain). Aqua areobics this afternoon. Hope everyone is ok x

Morning all!!
Just got back from the dentist to see I have been in good company. Hope your appointments went well EllieAnne and HVDY!!
Annie- do hope you,re managing to keep cool somehow. I,m ok thanks- yes the walking has gone out the window a bit as it’s too flipping hot. Did walk to the dentist this morning but it was more of a mince than a proper walk. Oh for some nearby water eh!!
SweetPeaSue- so good to hear you are feeling better- long May it continue.?Do you live near a beach where you can walk? It’s so cooling just looking at the water and makes you feel good too..
Plums are on of my favourite Summer fruits- what a fantastic crop you have this year- are they Victorias?
HVDY - it must have been so good to get in your pool yesterday. Jerk chops sound a bit hot- but yummy.
Doodle - good to hear from you and hope you enjoy your cooler climes. I loved the Baltic cruise we had as it was not so hot although nicely warm. Very interesting too. At least you can walk on deck to get a bit of exercise. Safe travels
EllieAnne- so glad the wedding went off well.Anxiety makes us waste so much time and energy worrying about things that might happen doesn’t it and spoils any anticipation.
You must feel so glad your son has found someone he is really happy with - you have gained a daughter!
Try not to fret over your Grandson enjoy the times you have with him - he loves you too.

Wow it’s warm again going to my photography group this afternoon - I think I might melt? Hope whatever you are all doing you have a good afternoon.
Love to all xx

Ellie Anne so pleased the wedding went well. I know all too well the feeling of being the ‘other grandma’ when the grandchildren were young. However, take heart, as they get a bit older that changes and they become more confident. Mine are now grown but I love them to bits and from the hugs and cuddles I get from my DGC who are now much bigger than me, they feel the same. Take heart, relax and enjoy your memories of the wedding. Good luck with the dentist.
Hope you had a good time with your DD Annie.
Take care all the BDG. Thinking of you.

EllieAnne I'm so pleased the wedding went off alright. You had been dreading it, but that's what anxiety does to us, isn't it. I've got the dentist too, this morning - not been for 5 years! Had to register with a new one and am feeling nervous, although it's only a check-up, scale and polish. Hope your appointment goes well.

Anniebach How are you and your little dogs coping with this heat?

Doodle Nice of you to think of us all. Enjoy your holiday.

SweetpeaSue My son wasn't keen on going to Tenerife anyway - he used to make us laugh because every holiday he went on, he used to return whiter than before he went! He's fair-skinned, like me, and so uses total sunblock cream.

ScaredyCat These brain tumours appear to be fairly common. I know someone with one, and she has annual scans. I only found out about mine when they found out I'd had a stroke.

Everyone on BD hope you manage to have a decent day and keep cool x

EllieAnne
So pleased the wedding went well. I know
what you mean about that situation with a grandchild. It's inevitable when through various circumstances they see one set of grandparents more. Good luck with your dentist visit! We all hate them but I'm sure it will feel worthwhile afterwards. ?