Black Dog 12

What a hot day it’s been today. I am listless so not done much.
HVDY so pleased you and your DH had a nice trip. It’s nice to just stroll along and watch the world go by. I can remember getting my DGC ready for school and packed lunches. Will you be having them round during the school holidays?
I’ve been a bit like MrCooper today. Lazing in the sunshine.
Ellie Anne I hope your dress turns out to be ok.
Annie how is your ankle? Have you ventured outside again?
Scaredycat it’s a shame you AF is bothering you so much. Do you have follow ups with your GP or consultant? Do you find the hot weather brings it on more? Glad it’s improved since you got home.
Sweetpeasue how are things with you?
Take care all x

Annie- brilliant that you got out in your chair yesterday it must have felt so good to be in the fresh air - hope your ankle will get better quickly. At last a physio who listens and is prepared to fight your corner . MT must be so excited to be starting her job soon - she will have lots to tell you.
Doodle- thank you for your kind welcome back. The A Fib didn’t spoil it but it’s very scary to experience when so far away .HVDY- So pleased you had a good time away - hope it raised your spirits. Mr Cooper sounds like he chilled out too.
A F has settled down a bit thank you. I had a cardioversion which really helped and subsequent meds which also help. Just that it is happening more now. I,m glad for your friend that her cardioversion worked.
Enjoy your time with the GC - I,m sure you love being busy with them.
Love to allxx

Anniebach You got out in your wheelchair? Brilliant. I hope your ankle is a bit better today, though. Is the Physiotherapist going to find a better way for you to sleep? Sorry to hear about your Rheumatoid Arthritis. My dad had that, he took Methotrexate for it and had steroid injections to ease it. x

Doodle I hope you and your husband are doing alright x

Scaredycat Glad you had a good holiday. How is your AF now? My friend had a procedure called an ablation with hers and is getting on well x

SweetpeaSue Hope you're getting on alright. How's the tooth? x

Ellie Anne You've chosen a dress for your son's wedding, so that's good. The weather will be warm, so perhaps a loose jacket over the top would suffice. x

I hope everyone is managing to enjoy a bit of sunshine today. DH and I had a lovely couple of days away, walked a lot (with lots of sitting down and people-watching in between). Mr Cooper has been sunbathing, and hasn't starved . The GC are staying here for a few days, so I took them to school this morning, did their packed lunches, and will pick them up later. .

Ellie Anne when you feel low it’s hard to be positive. Sometimes looking at things overall is too much to tackle,. Could you have some decorating done maybe one room at a time?
Do you enjoy being at your sons house with the girls or do you find it exhausting?
When you wake in the morning can you distract your mind by thinking of other things rather than your worries. Even breathing exercises or something. I hate that feeling in the morning.
Scaredycat welcome back, lovely to hear from you.
Your holiday sounds good. I often get emotional in churches, perhaps the crying did you some good.
Sorry the AF was playing up, I hope it didn’t spoil it for you.
What sad news you came home to. I’m sorry for you and your friends family. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Yes I love the sea too.
Annie that is good news about the physio. About time you had some help. You went out in your wheelchair, fantastic news. Well done Annie no small task. Sorry about your ankle hope it heals soon. Good news about MT, I hope she enjoys her new job. x
Sleep well all.

Hi all x

Ellie Anne please, please accept that choosing a dress is a positive x ?

Friends, physio been here a,l

Hi all x

Ellie Anne please , please accept choosing the dress is a positive x ?

Friends, physiotherapist was here most of the afternoon , she is referring me to the enablement team , if the dragon turns me
down again she said she will come herself !

After five and half years I saw the top end of the Cul de sac in
my wheelchair, one mishap , I have hurt my ankle!

Doodle my Mini Tornado starts her job at the end of the month, I am so happy for her x

How is everyone ?

Hello dear friends. We got back later yesterday evening and I have just caught up with all your posts. So much going on for all of you..
We had a lovely holiday , so good to be back on our favourite Greek island again. I had an awful lot of AFib whilst there which made me feel very anxious and vulnerable being so far from home. I kept having to give myself good talking to, s. We had a car so were able to go where we wanted .
One day we visited a very tiny church high up in the mountains. A sweet lady let us in using the huge key which she was custodian of. It was so beautiful inside and a strange thing happened to me- I began to cry. I can’t cry which is horrible so it seemed like a little miracle.
Sadly yesterday when we got home we had a call telling us our oldest friend had died. It was a terrible shock as they have been our friends for,so many years. He was somebody who never failed to make us laugh and we will miss home very much. My poor friend is devastated.
Doodle- I hope your glimmer of light is burning brighter today. I am so sorry you have been so,worried all this time.
SweetPeaSue- glad you are managing to eat better and I hope you soon begin to feel less anxious and low.
EllieAnne- please don’t fret about your dress for the wedding the most important is that you are there for your son on his big day. There are some really nice loose floaty dresses around and I,m sure you will find something nice and look lovely. Just try to relax and enjoy the day. Knowing your son is happy will make you feel happy too.
Annie- oh dear you still have so much to contend with. Ido hope your appointment today brings you some positive help.
You are right we do have to accept things no matter how hard- like you one day in a split second life changed forever.
I thought of you on holiday as I walked in the sea which was already warm from the sun and little fishes swam about The sea is better than any medicine.
Sending love to all, those I have mentioned and all,others in BDG.xx

It’s a very small wedding so no hat required. I think I ve ordered a dress online to try but the website was awful so not sure if I have. I’ve wakened up today feeling sick and weepy. Yesterday I realised how much work the house needs to freshen it up mainly painting and cleaning but could do with new carpets and I don’t feel up to any of it. Even keeping my bedroom tidy is a strain right now. Today I’m going over to my oldest sons and will spend the day cleaning tidying and ironing and getting the girls from school.it gets me away for the day and I feel useful. But I can’t do it at home because I’m too stressed and never get the house to myself. Sorry I’m rambling but wakened early and mind is full of worries.

Sweetpeasue I hope your tooth settles down too but don’t put up with the pain if there is something wrong. Mine hurt when I ate for a while and so I tended to eat the other side of my mouth. It took quite a while to settle. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Glad you are eating a bit better. I’m sure that’s a good thing.
Ellie Anne I’m sorry you feel so alone. You must be missing your friend so much. What about your DIL to be? Do you get on with her, would she be a good person to talk to about what you are going to wear? I have a very large tummy but I recently bought a midi dress that was large and floaty. No waist, just hangs down from the shoulders. I was amazed how flattering it was. You don’t need a proper hat if you don’t want one. How about a fascinator. I had one for my sons wedding, just a small one. Looked fine. Hope you find something you are comfortable in.
Annie I’m sorry about your hands. We take them for granted but it must be so difficult for you without them being fully functional. Are you still able to do cross stitch?
Oh I do hope the new physio person is much better than the last one. Prayers said and fingers crossed. x
Hope all those on holiday having a good time.

Doodle Hope you've still cause for hope. X

Annie Your Rheumatoid Arthritis sounds so severe, I'm so sorry you have so much to cope with. My aunt has a lot of difficulty with her arthritic hands and it often amazes me the things she is unable to do that we, with working hands, take for granted. I hope you have a successful visit from the Physio tomorrow. I will indeed send good vibes and prayers your way.
EllieAnne I wish I could help but I'm afraid I couldn't give you any advice as to what to wear. However, as the weather is warming up now there should be plenty of dresses out there. One thing I would share is that don't worry if you do not like hats. They're not compulsory. I never wore one at my son's wedding. Just go with your own instincts and wear whatever you feel comfortable in. I'm so very sorry about your dear friend. That must be so hard. I hope she will improve soon so you will be allowed to visit her.

I've felt very low and anxious but I know I've much to be thankful for. I just wish I could feel well again but I have to be positive I know. I'm eating better than I was so that's a positive.

I'd forgotten, HVDY was away. Hope she's having a nice break.

Hi all x

Yes Doodle My left hand is causing problems, I have the use of a thumb and forefinger, other three fingers are embedded into the palm of my hand, been like this for several years, now
the forefinger is twisting. Right hand is twisted too , have
rheumatoid arthritis in wrists, hands, hips and knees. Can’t walk or even stand, that’s arthritis, pain 24 hours a day.

Sweetpeasue I think everyone should learn to use both hands ,break the hand be it right or left you have to use the other hand, i assure you I get more than frustrated but accept there is
no cure for arthritis. x

Ellie Anne your posh frock, you have no choice but to choose one yourself, no way can you not turn up for your son’s
wedding my love. I am not being harsh, I know what it’s like having no support, I come from a large extended family, five years ago I was suddenly cut out, no fault of mine, similar to
when my husband died, woke up one morning to be told I was
a widow with two little girls, again four and half years ago my
darling Catherine was dead. I had no choice I had to get on with things on my own . Yes it’s hard but I had to accept it,

You can too my love, tell us what is your favourite colour, do you like floral, stripped or one colour clothes? Share with us, we can try to help with suggestions, if you stay away from the
wedding you will be more depressed. x

Hope scaredcat and HVDY are enjoying their holidays.

Had surprise this morning, the dietician has contacted physio dept and someone coming to see me tomorrow at 2am, if you can good thoughts / prayers tomorrow please .

How is everyone?

Thank you for your suggestions. My daughter has different taste from me and tries to get me to buy things I don’t like. She is left handed by the way.
I’ve been feeling so lonely. As I’ve said my close friend is in hospital very ill and I can’t visit. She’s had so much fluid drained from her body that she’s lost over 3 stones. Both my boys seem very distant towards me. Well the oldest always has been. And daughter s mental health problems make her distant too. I’ve no siblings or other close relatives.

Oh Doodle thankyou for that about your tooth--that's just what I wanted to hear. It might be OK after all. ?
So pleased about your glimmer too. I'll pray it continues. Hope you have a peaceful night too.

Sweetpeasue my DS is left handed too. I may be wrong but I think maybe Annie is trying to use her right hand because perhaps her left is causing her problems. Not sure.
Thank you for you kind thoughts. I did have a glimmer of hope this morning. Holding on tight to it and hoping things may improve.
Sorry about your toothache. My tooth took several weeks to settle after my last treatment but it’s better now. Hope you have a peaceful night.

Annie I am sorry for all your frustrations. My son is left-handed too. Its not usually a good idea to force yourself to use a different hand foe everything, but perhaps just limit yourself to trying with your right for a few actions. I do hope you can get more help from this other physio.
You have so many things to frustrate you at present. Hope your worries about MT can soon be sorted too.
Doodle I'm hoping too that your own concerns for your family member are not leaving you so anxious. I wish there was something else I could say to help. Thinking of you.

Had to go back to Dentist today. Pain in tooth no better over weekend. She built the tooth up at the side with gum line filling this time but is still hurting at present so will need to see if it settles. So many things that torment us all.
I hope *Scaredycat *is having a good holiday.
HVDY Candy, and EllieAnne Hope you are OK too.

Night all.

Night everyone

Annie isn’t there a new head of physio? Perhaps the new Enablement person might be better than the last one.
Thanks a good idea about Ellie Anne’s dress.
I hope you can resolve the issue with MT. Is it something dealt with better face to face than by phone?
Hope things improve soon.
Hope everyone is ok. x

Hi all x

16 months sleeping on the sofa and the dietician is referring me back to the physiotherapy dept who refused me help to get
back to my bedroom ! Thank heaven I have learned acceptance,

Candy thinking of you x

Ellie Anne why not ask your daughter to help you choose
.a posh frock for the wedding ? You can do it together by sending each other links showing each other what you like.

Doodle yes, family worries, drags one down doesn’t it, how
I wish I could still drive to get to my Mini Tornado x

I am trying to become right handed gosh it’s difficult, i forget and reach out with my left hand , then mutter ‘oh dear’ or in
truth much stronger words.

How is everyone ?

Ellieanne you have been given good advice on here. Please enjoy your sons wedding and stop being your own worst critic. You sound lovely.

Ellie Anne how you look isn’t the thing it’s what’s inside that matters. Do you care what others think? If you do, why? Its love that matters. If you love your children and care for them that is what is important. You could be a glamour queen but it wouldn’t make any difference if you don’t care. I speak as one who had a large tummy and have put on a lot of weight over lockdown and beyond. I don’t like how I look and want to lose weight but when I’m with my children and grandchildren it doesn’t matter. Loving them is what’s important?
You son is getting married in four weeks. So enjoy his day. Find something that fits and you are comfortable in. I hope it’s a lovely day and you enjoy it.
Support the slower ones on your walk. Enjoy the company. There are many large and overweight women that are happy and make others happy. Don’t fret about it.
Sweetpeasue I told you that you were a kind and caring person. Yet again you provide support for others.
Yes Annie of course, we all think people will be looking at us where as in reality they are not.
How are you today. I hope the issues with MT can be resolved.
I am fluctuating between being optimistic and being in complete panic. Not a good combination really.
Hope all are ok x

Ellie Anne what were you wearing for the walk ? You speak of
rolls of fat, were you wearing trousers and tee shirt ? Your not
going to wear walking clothes to a wedding are you. So forget the photograph, do you like summer suits or dresses, what’s your favourite colour ? Do you like plain like the Queen or do you like floral?

Everyone will be looking at the bride , yes ?

Oh EllieAnne Please don't dwell upon an unflattering photo that was randomly taken. Easy for me to say but I've done exactly the same. I particularly remember the unflattering images and they stay with me and mock me. Why do we do this? It's as if we need to punish ourselves. I remember you said about that walk, you weren't the oldest or (more significantly) the slowest. Be kind to yourself. And even if someone was the slowest--they completed it, they did it.
Any social gatherings can be scary when we don't have confidence. It's not surprising you feel hesitant. I hope you find something you feel comfortable in. You are his mum and you can't be more special than that. It will pass. You'll be OK. Thinking of you.

A lot of the walks are hills or too long for me. I’m looking for ones I can do on days I am free. The leader posted some photos of the walk and I was in one. ( I avoid cameras like the plague) I looked awful. Big rolls of fat! I’ve been really down since. I know my diet is not good. Snack instead of meals because I don’t want to sit at table in awkward silence. Can’t find anything for my sons wedding in 4 weeks. Will look awful and don’t really want to go.

HVDY I hope you get to do something interesting that you would enjoy.
I expect Mr Cooper is aware he has a lovely life being cuddled and cared for. ?

Annie with my own family worries I can understand and empathise with your worry about your MT. I have the chance to go out and walk and do things to relieve my anxiety but you don’t. Must make it even harder. I do hope there is a lightening of your worry soon.
I cannot understand why SS or the council cannot help you have someone to prepare some food for you.
Hope everyone has a peaceful day. x

Doodle I haven't yet chosen anything in particular with U3A. It's a general meeting next Friday. Hope you get some good news soon. x

Anniebach Oh, that's not good. Are you able to claim any (more?) benefits at all? Hope whatever it is that's causing you concerns about your MT is soon sorted out. x

Just brushing my Mr Cooper, his last remaining fang has just fallen out! Poor old boy, he's deaf, got one eye, and is now almost completely toothless . He keeps plodding on, though, and still enjoys his food and a cuddle .

Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x