Black Dog 12

Hi all x

Thank you for your advice. Gave it much thought and prayers,
my darling daughter asked me to care for her children as I had
cared for her and her sister so will remain silent re granddaughter’s false memory. But out of the blue something came to mind, recalled all the video tapes of them all having fun, holidays , birthday parties, playing in the snow, the three children playing with their mother. Am sure my son in law will
have them in a room where he has stored everything relating to Catherine. I will have them all put on CD’s, and leave a set
each for grandchildren in my will, they can if they wish show
them to children they may have and my grandchildren can hear their mothers laughter and them all playing and laughing together.

Ellie Anne you did that drive again ? . The next door neighbour may be friendly, if you meet him in the garden or on the front foot path say ‘hello’, nothing to lose but could be
much to gain , we are here for you x

Rachifagran do hope you are making a good recovery,hugs x

How is everyone ?

To everyone else, I hope you are keeping well.

Have a good day ?

Morning all,
HVDY - I do like the sound of aqua aerobics. They used to do it here but have never started it back up. Disappointing.
Unfortunately can’t step down hours as just cannot afford to. It’s getting harder each week. I do work in a charity shop one morning a week volunteering but even the staff there are new, people left, etc. it’s not the same but I’m going to stick it out.

Annie - sorry to hear what you are going through. I don’t know the details but realise this must be upsetting for you.

Doodle - he’s actually ok in the heat, I honestly don’t know where he gets his energy from! He’s a delight.

The weather is a bit drizzly here today but I’m off for a dog walk shortly.

Scaredycat I still buy Easter eggs and/or chocolate for my sons (and whomever they're with at the time). The GDs have an egg hunt.
Doodle The weather wasn't bad here yesterday - warm but grey, then it began to rain a little bit at 4.30.

I hope everyone has a decent day today. I'm going to aqua aerobics this morning, then I'll ring the lady I chat to every Monday with Re-Engage. x

Ellie Anne I’m a bit like that myself. Hope you manage to settle and get some sleep. Is it an area you know well? Is there some places for you to visit while you’re there?

Thank you doodle. Yes it’s a semi but I’ve never seen the man who lives there.I’ve always been a bit scared at night on my own. The cats are not particularly friendly and one has been very Ill and has to have medication. Not a happy pusscat.
Annie I’m so sorry that you are feeling disturbed . Wish I had an answer for you.

Ellie Anne you were brave to make the journey. Glad you’ve arrived safely. Are there people around in other houses nearby?
Hope you are ok. I expect the cat was pleased to see you.

Safely in Yorkshire for a weeks cat sitting and daughter has arrived safely at her destination. I’m quite nervous being here on my own.

Rafichagran glad you’ve eaten something and are feeling a bit better. Hope you continue to recover well.
Annie it is so natural to want to defend you daughter but you were right not to load that burden onto your DGD. As your DD loved her children so much she wouldn’t want you to let slip anything that could hurt them. It must have been so hard for you but I’m sure you made the right decision. There is nothing your DGD can do now to remedy the hurt she caused her mother and that knowledge would leave her wondering the rest of her life about what she did and the repercussions.
HVDY hope your weather was dryer than here. It’s rained most of the day. Hope you all enjoyed the country park.
Scaredycat I agree with you. My sons liked nothing more than playing on swings and slides with their children. Personally I would love to have a go on a swing. I went on my DGDs trampoline once. My DIL laughed so much she was in tears. I am not a natural trampolinist.
Sweetpeasue hope things are ok for you.
Have a good night all.

Thankyou Scardeycat I feel a little better now I have managed to eat something.

Annie- Oh dear you must feel awful but you did the right thing yesterday by not saying anything - especially over the phone.
Your Grandaughters mean so much to you as they are part of Catherine and she loved them very much. Perhaps thinking of what she would want you to say might help you.
You are a very wise woman and full of compassion you will do the right thing.
Sending love x
HVDY- hope you,ve had a good lunch and GD enjoyed the sandpit. If she’s anything like my Grandaughters ( 2 of whom are in the 30,s) she will always enjoy some childish fun. This Easter my second eldest came and confessed she hoped I,d do an Egg Hunt like I used to do when they were little!!
Rafichagran- wise words. Hope you are recovering well today
Love to allxx

Annie You really are in a dilemma. You know the truth, but the truth to a 10 year old is different to that of a adult.
Is your Grandaughter ready to hear the truth? Is the time right, also is there anything to be gained from telling her the truth as you know it. It is a tragedy your daughter was so Ill.
You are very good at understanding people Annie, so would it make her feel guilty to hear the truth, and would it be a burden for her to live with?
I know how hard this is for you and how strong your love is for your daughter, but is your Grandaughter ready to hear this. It seems to me there is no right or wrong answers just the consequences afterword. I know you will make the right decision.
Sending you good wishes it is hard.

*Anniebach What a horrible dilemma - tell your GD the truth and risk upsetting her, or say nothing and have to know that things are being said which aren't true. Not easy. x

I hope everyone is alright today. It's sunny and warm here, but rain is forecast. We're going to go out for lunch, then to a country park, where there's a huge children's play area with a massive sandpit - GD1 will enjoy that, although she's nearly 11 so I don't suppose those things will interest her for too much longer. I hope everyone manages to have a decent day. x

Hi all x

Rafichagran I so hope all is well after your hospital
procedure, sending hugs and love x

Friends I need to share, elder granddaughter FaceTimed me
yesterday for a chat, gardening, books etc. Conversation led to
her mother, suddenly I listened to things which were so untrue,
I had a longing to tell her the truth about her behaviour as a ten year and how she drove her mother to tears, I so want to
defend my darling daughter but it would cause problems between granddaughter and me.

I am the only one who knows the truth, I will have to stay silent
and leave the truth unspoken?

I am really distressed that they don’t know she became so ill
because she loved them so much .

How is everyone?

Thankyou HVDY hope you are well too.

HVDY there you are. You crept in while I was posting. ?
You are very kind too. Yes we do worry about family so much.
Hope you have a good weekend and don’t overdo things.

Been a lovely day here. Been sitting on the balcony all afternoon.
Coffeefirst Ronnie sounds sweet. Does he have trouble breathing in hot weather? Our dogs (Yorkies) did.
Yes offices are funny things but just wait and see what happens. You don’t really like it there so if it doesn’t work out it won’t be a great loss. Keep looking around and see if something more to your fancy turns up.
Rafichagran lovely to hear from you. Hope all went well in hospital and you are ok. Rest now and recover well. Take care.
Sweetpeasue like you I am only happy driving locally. I admire Ellie Anne’s courage in taking such a long journey.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. Hope you have a good weekend.
Scaredycat thank you for your kind thoughts too.
Yes I thought that about the word tranquility when I heard the Dean use it . It sums up what we need doesn’t it.
Ooh I wonder what your Plan B looks like.
I used to love that Duracell Bunny. DH tried to buy me one but couldn’t get one anywhere.
Annie I hope sometime soon you will be able to go into your garden and enjoy some of this sunshine. In the meantime I send you some ?????
Have a good weekend all.

Doodle The stomach-churning is horrible, isn't it? I hope that feeling soon goes and that your anxiety eases. We worry about our children and grandchildren, it's natural. But we can only help so much. Take care of yourself x

Rafichagran I hope whatever it is that you've had has now been sorted out and that you recover well x

CoffeeFirst1 Could you perhaps cut your hours or get a different job? It's horrible to dread going to work. x

Anniebach, ScaredyCat, SweetpeaSue, EllieAnne and anyone I might have missed - I hope you've all been ok today. I hope everyone has a restful night. x

Doodle- I,m so sorry your worries have increased again. It’s the most awful feeling when it concerns somebody you care for very much. I hope your GS will soon have better times.
Thanks for the book recommendation it sounds interesting.
What a beautiful word tranquility is- just saying it almost make s you feel calmer. I wish you tranquility of mind this weekend xx
EllieAnne- I hope by now you have arrived safely and are now able to relax and enjoy being there.
SweetPeaSue- glad you are able to get out in your garden - today has been a perfect day to be outside and enjoy being surrounded by nature. I hope you are having a pain free dayxx
Annie- Congratulations on the new baby. Nothing on earth gives you more hope than welcoming a new little person into the world.
Yes I am anxious about being with a lot of people - Covid has brought on a fear that wasn’t there before!!
As for hats me and them don’t mix too well!! I do have a new dress but I,m not sure if I like it now - never mind I have a plan B.?
HVDY- you are like a little Duracell bunny with all your household tasks. Don’t forget to take time out sometimes
Hope your son and his daughter have had a lovely day - perfect picnic weather.
Coffee first- oh I love Pugs my son used to have one he was adorable- glad you have such a dear little companion.
What a shame for you that work has become unpleasant. Such a pity that one person can cause such upset.It must be awful to dread going back on Monday. Did you work from home during lockdowns?
Rafichagran- good that you are back home from hospital and the procedure is over and done with. Hope you have managed to rest this afternoon and that tomorrow you will start to feel stronger.
Love to allxx

AnnieCongratulations on your new little addition to your family. I hope you get to see baby soon.
*EllieAnne *A drive of 5 hrs. Such a long journey. You have my admiration. I have tended to only drive on local roads. Confidence can be lost so easily.
HVDY You get so much done. I imagine you leave a puff of steam behind you as you go. Make sure those coffee breaks are nice and leisurely.
Coffeefirst Wishing your start on Monday to be the start of a better week. It's bad for you to have such hassle at work. Before my husband was made redundant the work practises had changed so much and expectations of him were immense and unrealistic. It must be so stressful for you. Sounds so horrible.
Doodle Oh I do hope that tummy settles. Its an awful feeling to worry about our grandchildren and to feel helpless in wanting to protect them. It's natural for us Grandmother's to want to put things right and we can only humanly do so much. I'm very sorry for your pain and heartache Wishing you and your family peace.
Scaredycat, Joce and Sallywally Hope you're all OK this weekend.

How very kind of you to care Rafichagran I do hope you soon recover from whatever it is you've had and that all will be well. You must be relieved you have that behind you.
Very best. Take care of yourself. X

Congratulations Annie
Doodle I am glad your husband is a little bit better.
Sweetpeasue sorry your health conditions are getting you down.
I am sorry I have not mentioned everyone, but I had a hospital procedure today and I am feeling very tired. Please look after yourself everyone.

Hello All,
Hope everyone is ok.
What a lovely day it is, sun out so I’ve done so much washing!
Yes, I have a little blag dog, Ronnie is a pug cross. He loves his walks but not today too warm! Yes, he’s such good company.

I’m dreading work on Monday, the Manager always wants to change things! There’s enough work to do as is without creating more. I do wish she’d just leave things alone. I am thinking of looking for something else but worry in case I don’t like it or don’t fit in. Offices can be funny places.

Annie - congratulations what super news!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone ?

Morning all. How is everyone.
Ellie Anne hope your trip to Yorkshire goes well. It’s a long drive. Keep safe.
Sweetpeasue yes perhaps a low fibre diet may help also stop you feeling so full. Rice pudding perhaps soup and bread. But don’t forget you need some fibre too.
Glad you’ve got a nice garden to sit and wander about in. Plants and greenery lift the spirits.
Annie congratulations. How lovely.
What a lovely poem.
Yes I am praying for some tranquility for my family again. The usual reason for my anxiety has cropped up again with a vengeance and the old stomach churning is back in full swing.
HVDY it’s a lovely day for a picnic. Hope your DS and DGD enjoy themselves. Wow you are a whirlwind of activity. Do you ever sit and rest. Take some time for yourself.
Hope you have a good weekend all

How is everyone today?

Congratulations, Anniebach A new baby in the family, how lovely x
ScaredyCat I can't remember the last time I went to a wedding. It's gorgeous weather for it. Keep telling yourself that you'll be fine. You will. (I was on a ventilator last year, had a stroke, I'm still here ) x
EllieAnne I admire you, driving for 5 hours. Good weather for it x
SweetpeaSue, Doodle, all the others on here, I hope you're all having a decent day.

Son1 and GD1 have gone out for the day (GD2 gone camping with school) and taken a picnic. DH has been fixing something on his car. I've been up since 6.30, done 4 lots of washing - where doe it all come from?- and it's drying on the line. I've hoovered 2 bedrooms and cleaned the bathroom. Just need to sweep down the stairs and then hoover through the downstairs rooms. I wish I could move quickly as I could a year ago..... time for a coffee before I start again. x