Black Dog 12

Hi all x

This morning I became a great aunt for the 15th time, much joy.

*
Scaredycat* yes I love cathedrals, have visited so many , I would love to read that book but it would have to be audible,
can’t hold a book . A wedding, I love weddings, with a family my size there has been so many, the wedding vows and the hope for happiness for the couple, awww. Are you anxious because you are uncomfortable in a crowd or because of the
fear Covid brought to us ? Buy a stunning hat x

Doodle tranquility, brought to mind immediately Dorothy
Bloomfield’s famous lines -

The kiss of the sun for pardon,
The song of the birds for mirth,
One is nearer to God in a garden
Than anywhere else on earth’.

For me a garden can be the mountains, the coast, woodlands.x

Ellie Anne expect you are on your 5 hour drive now, you
have done it before and yes you were stressed but you did it
and doing it again today. Be proud and go girl . ?

How is everyone?

Doodle That's a lovely thought. Sounds like a beautiful blessing--Tranquility in your Days. Thankyou. Im pleased your husband's cataract op went well. That will be good to get over with. My cousin's husband had one that was greatly successful. I think for now a Low-Residue diet (just means low fibre really) is the safest thing for me. I hope your neighbour is coping OK . It was so shockingly sudden.
Annie That was such a terrible thing for you to have to move to such a new and desolate place, right after your husband died. Very cruel. I can't imagine what that was like for you with no neighbours at all for company. Being a young mother is difficult at the best of times.
Yes it's the pain that has stopped me walking. It's difficult to explain, it comes on quite suddenly and fiercely. You are right though about my garden. Although it's very small it is nice to amble and I feel safe there. My DH has planted my sweet peas out a week ago for me which is something lovely to look forward to. I hope you have something to watch in your garden.
HVDY Glad your DH is better. Hope your tummy is behaving too.
Coffeefirst Hope you're OK. Pleased you have a four-legged companion for company. They are always loyal anf loving.
SallyWally I'm so sorry to hear of your job problems. It sounds very difficult indeed. I hope you can manage to leave it behind you if it's at all possible. Please hold on throughout what is such a distressing time for you. I'm sure your DH cares for you a great deal and needs you.
EllieAnne So glad you have that dentist appt behind you. Thankyou for your kind words.
Scaredycat Thankyou for your caring concern too. Oooh a wedding to go to. Not a nice ooooh more an Aaaagh! from me. Whenever I have felt anxious at large occasions in the past they've usually turned out to be far less stressful than anticipated. I think the lead up is worse than the actual thing. It's the fear of the unknown for me. Feeling out of my comfort zone. Thankyou for the book recommendation. I've heard of the title but never read it. It's nice to hear of something that someone has enjoyed.
JoceHope you're OK too.
Terribly sorry if I've left anyone out.
Hope everyone has a good weekend and a peaceful night. Xx

Tranquility…… that’s what I need today. A stressful dentist appointment this morning and the prospect of a 5 hour drive to Yorkshire tomorrow.

•Daftbag•. It was me who asked about a Social Prescriber on behalf of. Friend. Thank you very much for replying and I will pass your very helpful information on

Hello all. DH recovering nicely thanks to all who asked.
His eye is a bit bloodshot but his vision is clearing.
Annie I have always felt you weren’t treated very well by the police when your DH died. For someone with two young children to be moved like that. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you.
Yes being alone and being lonely are different. It’s loneliness for people and especially children that gets me.
HVDY nothing like someone soft and cuddly to hug when the going gets tough. I loved all my dogs equally. Each had a different character but all were so affectionate.
We were supposed to have our windows cleaned today but the chap double booked so is coming next week now.
Hope your physio goes well.
Scaredycat DH is very stoic. He’s had so many things wrong with him I’ve lost count but I count my blessings he’s still here.
He’s had lots of surgery and physical ailments but is in himself a very kind and caring person. I am lucky to have him.
I haven’t read the book you mention but will look it up as I am interested too. One you might consider if you want to is the book Sarum about Salisbury Cathedral. My brother suggested I read it many years ago now. It’s a huge book but totally absorbing starting almost from prehistoric days up to the Cathedral being built.
I hope you manage to enjoy the wedding. I can imagine your anxiety about being with others but I hope when it comes to it you can relax and enjoy yourself. Have you got something nice to wear?
I heard something in the online service and thought that’s a good word to use on this thread so here it is. I wish you tranquillity in your days. Take care all x

Doodle- glad DH op went well it will make such a difference for him I,m sure. He sounds like a person who deals uncomplainingly with whatever life throws at him.
Loneliness is one of the things we all dread I think but sometimes you can be lonely even with other people or indeed with just one person.
I hope you are having a good day todayx
EllieAnne- that was a good walk you had- it’s good that you have nice places nearby where you can walk safely and enjoy being outside. I,m glad you meet up with your friends too it’s lovely to have a coffee an a natter isn’t it. I often walk alone too when DH is doing other things - pity we don’t live close eh!
Hope your tests go ok
SweetPeaSue- Hope you are feeling more comfortable today. Maybe on days when you feel stronger you could get out for a walk it would do you good in so many ways.
SallyWally - good idea to keep busy but I,m so sorry you have such upsetting thoughts. Glad you have a kind DH it makes such a difference. Does your son live close by? Take care
Daftbag- good to read that you are getting such practical help. I hope the relaxation therapy helps you.
Coffee first- hope you,ve enjoyed your walk today with your little dog - or is he one you walk for somebody else? Dogs always cheer you up don’t they.
Annie- had a nice walk by the river today into town. So nice to be able to walk further now.
You often mention Cathedrals and your great love of them.
Do you like to read ? There is a lovely book about the building of a Cathedral by Ken Follet called Pillars of the Earth - I think you would like it.

Next week we have a wedding to go to. I wish I could feel more relaxed at the thought of being with so many people again . The pandemic has made me even more fearful than I already was so anxiety is creeping in . I will go and nobody will guess how I feel but I just needed to say it.
Whatever you are doing this weekend I hope you have some bright moments. Love to all

Doodle How's your husband? My brother had his cataracts "done" a few years ago, he said he couldn't believe the difference it made, and that colours all seemed so much brighter. x

CoffeeFirst1 Pets are a great company, aren't they? I have always had cats. My old boy loves to have a cuddle in the morning (45 mins!) before he settles down on his cushion or a rug. x

SallyWally. If you can afford to, I'd say leave the job if it's making you so unhappy. No job is worth that. Suicide is never the answer. Perhaps you'd benefit from having antidepressants? x

Anniebach,* ScaredyCat*, SweetpeaSue, EllieAnne and everyone on here - hope you're all ok today.

I've been cleaning mirrors and the windows (insides anyway). Physio this afternoon - my 2nd session (it was cancelled last week). I didn't think I'd only just be getting physio for an injury (that the hospital did) that happened 10 months ago, but I think that and the aqua aerobics are helping x

Hi all x

Welcome Sallywally thank you Daftbag

Scaredycat great to learn your ankle has healed, yes I will
say it to all - ‘keep walking’ x

CoffeeFirst dogs ? I have two, have had 17, pure unconditional
love x

Sweetpeasue are you not walking because of the pain or you
are very depressed? If the latter then do walk, around your garden is a start x

HVDY I am sure the people you visited in the sheltered housing found your visit a joy x

Ellie Anne oh my love have you thought of anything which
will help you with such unhappiness? Is a flat of your own at all
possible? Did you tell him you want out because of his coldness x

Sallywally you have several worries crowded in on you, can you afford to leave your job ? If so the volunteer sector are so in need , do share here , suicide ? You know that isn’t the answer,
if you made a list of your troubles which would be the first on the list ? x

Joyce still plodding? You are in my prayers, if you wish just
pop on here and say hello, sending a cwtch x

Doodle there is a difference in being alone and being lonely,
when my husband died I had to move with our daughters were
5 and 7 to another part of town, new housing estate building work not finished, no telephone, no street lights, that was loneliness but i wasn’t alone I had my two little darlings, have
never forgotten that loneliness, but I found ! the cathedral, x

How is everyone?

Sallywally I have just read a bit of your thread so have a better understanding now. I too worked in various NHS settings and know that one surgery can be completely different to another in the way they work and how they work. They can also be a bit cliquey. Staff are usually mostly women and small numbers. It’s easy to feel you don’t fit in. I hope things work out better for you but perhaps a different job would be better for you. If you don’t need the money, how about volunteering.

Sallywally hello and welcome. Physical activity and keeping the mind busy can distract from worrying a bit so is good to do. Sorry to hear you have been feeling so down. I haven’t read the estrangement thread yet so not sure what the problem is.
What is it about your job that causes you stress, is it the people you work with or the work itself that causes you problems?
No things aren’t easy. I’m glad your DH is being kind. Support is always a help.
Daftbag nice of you to pop in with some helpful advice.
I hope all the things that have been prescribed for you help you to feel better.
Coffeefirst thank you. DH seems to be doing fine. He said it didn’t hurt at all and was very impressed with the care he got.
Is the little dog yours? What sort is he? Dogs and cats are wonderful companions. Never judging. Just sitting stroking them can relieve stress.
Annie and the rest of the gang, Hope you are all ok. x

I hope everyone else is doing ok. Sorry pressed too soon…you know what I’m like ?.

HVDY and sweetpea - hope you are ok too.

I will be walking with my little tomorrow. He is my stress buster, he’s a black dog actually! He loves his walks and helps me clear my head.

Have a nice evening everybody.

Hi all,
Annie - it sounds good what you are doing helping with a charity. Yes I can understand charities are over stretched since Covid began.

Doodle - I hope your DH is healing after the cataract op. I think my dad may need one in the coming months.

Ellie Anne - I’m not half as self conscious as I used to be. If I didn’t push myself I’d never get out. I can relate to all you said regarding loneliness. Enjoy choir this evening. I too would like to join one…I’ll keep looking for a local one.

Sally-Wally - sorry to hear about the job…I read your thread. How unfair of them. Are you able to talk to a Manager about the situation and how unhappy you are feeling? It just doesn’t seem right to be treated this way.

Ref the question about social prescriber. My GP referred me to our practice social prescriber. I was offered an almost immediate appointment for an hour which was used to identify what help I would benefit from (counselling, information about different social activities that might be of help to me,information about financial help that might be available to help with the fuel increases.

She arranged (ongoing), counselling with a charity within 3 weeks, I've understaken some relaxation therapy, have received several grants to help with fuel.

I can call her at any time for additional help.

Trying to keep busy in the garden etc to try and keep black dog away. I’ve been on the estrangement thread so may be familiar from there. Suicidal thoughts come and go, but I have my son to think of, not to mention DH who has his own demons, but who has been kind recently. Not sure what the answer is. I have a 10 hour a week job which I think I may give up, it’s causing stress.

My thoughts to all of you. Things are not easy nowadays (we’re they ever?) x

Hello all. Busy day for me today. DH has been for a cataract op so I have been driving him to hospital and back. All went well and he’s back home now.
Sweetpeasue your problems are difficult to deal with, my DH has problems, not as bad as yours, but he has to be careful what he eats etc. DH went for a long time following an IBS diet which didn’t seem to do anything for him. I hope your appointment with the gastroenterologist gives some answers.
Hope you have a comfortable night.
Annie I didn’t know you helped a charity or that you used to be a full time volunteer. I seem to remember you used to be a Samaritan, have i got that right?
Loneliness is one a my big things that I worry about. Being a young child in a family of adults, I spent a lot of time on my own. I don’t remember feeling lonely but it’s always worried me about others who do. As you know it’s one of my main heartaches about my DGS. People of any age can be lonely.
You are right about people reaching out and trying to join groups. We all need companionship.
I love your rainbows saying ?
HVDY hope your tummy settles soon and you feel better.
How nice of you to go and visit others. I’m sure they appreciated it.
Ellie Anne that quite a walk. It is lucky you live somewhere where you have nice places to go to. Walking is such a help for the mind. Always things to see and physical exercise is good for us. I’d love a coastal walk but can’t complain as I have the river on my doorstep. I find the sea more invigorating.
Hope your appointment it’s the nurse goes well. Glad you have friends to be with.
I try hard when meeting someone in their own to chat to them.
My DS’s MIL has been on her own for a while now. She is delightful company. Friendly and chatty. Often when she’s on her own people talk to her.
Smiling at people and saying a few words is often all that’s needed to break the ice.
Take care all x

I have a few cafes I feel ok in. Mainly supermarkets and garden centres. But it’s taken years of practice!

Sweetpeasue I hope someone makes up their minds about what you're supposed to be doing, diet-wise.

EllieAnne Glad you've been making a life for yourself. Like SweetpeaSue, I feel self-conscious being on my own anywhere (always have done) but it's good that you're able to be comfortable in doing so.
How has everyone been today?

I faffed about at home until lunchtime when my stomach had settled down, so I got a few things from Asda and then went to see a couple of the people at the sheltered housing place I used to work at. They both live alone, one had been in his bungalow for 2 weeks without seeing a soul, so we chatted for ages over a cup of tea. DH went back to work today and says he feels worn out. He's dozing on the settee x

HVDY Thankyou for the tips about cereal. Spoke to GP this morning and she admits much at moment is up in the air about diet until I get Gastroenterologist advice.Hope you have good day.
*Anniebach You will have done so much to help others this week. You are so right about us all needing company sometimes. 'No man is an island' - - can't remember who that quote was by. But even the most introverted of us need a friend sometimes. Especially those living alone. So hard for those cut off during the pandemic.
EllieAnne You're sounding very self aware and understanding of your predicament at home. I'm pleased you have some lovely walks around you that will bring you some comfort. I'd feel quite self conscious in a cafe by myself so you have faced these situations and are comfortable with them. I wish I could join you. Good luck with your tests this afternoon.
Hope everyone is OK today.

Been for a 4 mile walk this morning round a reservoir. Very quiet. Just a few people fishing. I can’t stay in the house much but I’m very fortunate to live in a nice place near the beach and other walks.
Going to nurse this afternoon for ecg and blood tests. Choir tonight.
I’ve had to make a life for myself as there is nothing we would enjoy doing together. I’m not nearly as lonely as I was when I was younger. I was lonely as a teen and when I was at home with young family.
Now I’m happy to walk alone and will sometimes sit in a cafe reading.
But I also visit friends and meet people for coffee.

Anniebach You always think of others . x
I haven't gone to the day centre today, didn't think it was worth risking it, as my stomach was "off yesterday and last night. I've been faffing about at home but am going to go out soon (no idea where, but just out). Hope you're ok.

SweetpeaSue Instead of Fibogel and the likes, have you tried Weetabix/Bran Flakes, with some fruit? When I suggested the food diary, I've been writing down what I eat and drink (mine to count calories and thought it might be helpful. Boiled rice (brown) has the most nutrients when it's parboiled, and can be beneficial for gut health.

Doodle, ScaredyCat, EllieAnne, CoffeeFirst and everyone else who posts on here - hope you're all ok.

Hi all x

Have been busy this week, Mental Health Awareness Week, I help a charity this week , use to be a full time volunteer.

The theme this year is ‘loneliness’ , obviously Covid has added
problems, mental health charities are really stretched.

Families separated for long periods during the lockdowns, the
elderly who live alone lost the companionship of volunteer visitors. These have affected people’s mental health.

It is important to leave the house , join groups in your area, and do something without your husbands .

Sorry if this is seems ‘gloom and doom’ I have listened to
such sad happenings this week and my concerns for all on
Black Dog caused me to share this. And remember- rainbows come after storms. ?

How is everyone?

HVDY The fibregel one GP prescribed just stuck and made me feel stuffed and very sick. Think it was totally wrong. It was absolutely the opposite of the previous GP.
Anniebach Thankyou for your suggestion of a food diary and they're affects. It's a sensible idea. Like most people, I hold my hands up to googling. I'd read there were other types of obstruction, things could press on the outside of intestines but also things that wouldn't show up on scans to do with nerves. I know that googling things does not help with anxiety about things, you're right.
I hope you are managing with your diet. Is Lottie OK these days?
Scaredycat It was lovely of you to care so much. In fact it's lovely of everyone. I do make sure I drink water but the walking has been much missed. I've not been out, apart from hospital appts for 2 weeks. DH has done shopping. It seems so long since our walk along the beach. My life has shrank so much.
So pleased your ankle is better. You must have been very disciplined with your physio.
Coffeefirst Thankyou for your thoughts.
Doodle I thankyou for your prayers and caring. I'm settled at present. I do hope you're OK and are feeling well now.
Wishing all a very peaceful night. X

Sweetpeasue I hope your gastro appointment brings some helpful news. When you talk to people on the phone ask for their names and make sure you get stuff recorded on your medical record about how many times you phoned and asked for help.
I hope you have a better night tonight,
Hello Annie how are you today. I love the fact that anyone with a mental health problem no matter what the cause is welcome here. Physical health problems often have a mental health side to them when people are in pain or anxious or worried. I will channel my inner Welsh now and send you love and cwtches. ?
Coffeefirst I know what you mean about reading and replying at the same time.
Like you we have had rain most of today. We stayed in today and I had a purge tidying up my sewing things.
You are not moaning. Saying how you feel is perfectly allowed in this thread. Hope you are ok today.
Ellie Anne and Scaredycat how are you today?
Nonnie Nanny and Joce thinking of you too,

Anniebach How have you been today? Have you been able to eat any other foods lately?
EllieAnne The place you help out at sounds like the day centre place I attend on Thursdays (I used to be the Manager of 2 day centres, now I'm one of the members!) I like it, though, and I expect the people at your place enjoy it. You do a good job of keeping them in teas and coffees.
Doodle Have you nearly completed your jogsaw? Mine is still in the box - I'll have to start it some time soon
ScaredyCat Well done on being discharged from the physio. You are obviously doing very well now.

I saw the GDs after school (with Son1 and DH as he was off work). Went to a play centre then Wetherspoon's for dinner. I didn't feel well so DH took the GDs home in my car, and I drove his back home - (it's a 2-seater, sports car) I'd had a shower, got my pyjamas on by 6.30! I hope to be in bed by about 10. Hope everyone has a restful evening/night x

SweetPeaSue- oh I wish I knew how to help you- you are in such distress . You really need a F2F with a doctor from your surgery so they can physically see how this is affecting your health in all respects. It really is a disgraceful state of affairs.
Do you drink plenty of water as this is essential in keeping your bowels working? Also walking helps motility although I expect you are so exhausted that’s the last thing you feel like doing. The food diary sounds a good idea as does the rice it would be a good thing to show the Gastro when you see him.
You are not alone we are all thinking of you and care a great deal.
HVDY- hope you had a good Zumba session it looks like a fun thing to do. You must have lots of energy!! Glad DH is back to work tomorrow- you,ll miss him .
Annie- thank you for your kind words sending hugs backxx
Doodle- hope you,ve had a nice day - it’s not as warm as yesterday though is it. Are you still doing the same jigsaw ? Wish I liked doing them but I just never have.
EllieAnne- how are you today?

I,ve been discharged from Physio today. The exercises have worked well in fact my ‘bad’ ankle is stronger than my ‘good’ one now? wish there were exercises for my head!!!!!
Love to allxx