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Please tell me that having a 1st grandchild due shortly will take my focus away general anxiety.

(32 Posts)
This2willpass Thu 12-May-22 08:27:22

Suffering from general anxiety and hoping a 1st grandchild due shortly will keep me busy and focused away from my anxiety. Thanks in advance for replies.

aggie Thu 12-May-22 08:33:00

Please do not focus so much on the baby , it will not be your baby , the parents will be the main carers and you will be hovering in the background
I hope you enjoy the baby as a lovely new life , not as a cure for your anxiety
Please get help for your anxiety and love the baby

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 12-May-22 08:34:48

Good advice aggie.

DaisyAnne Thu 12-May-22 08:40:49

I think you already know that the answer to the question is "not necessarily". The new baby will be a distraction but it's not there to be a treatment for you. That something you and your doctors need to do together.

DillytheGardener Thu 12-May-22 08:51:17

Anxiety is a separate issue. A baby won’t make any difference to it. What you need is therapy or medication or a combo of it.
First thing to do is contact your gp. Therapy for anxiety is hard to access on the NHS, so if you can afford private do it, they often have discounts for those on low incomes so ask.
I arranged this for my mil some years back, which made a massive difference in her outlook and quality of life, but sadly she decided to go off the drugs and therapy and has reverted back to her severe anxiety again (which shows itself in her excessive calling us worrying about every little thing).
It will really open your life up and allow you to enjoy the new addition to your family.
Congratulations on your first gc.

Grandmabatty Thu 12-May-22 09:09:57

It could make your anxiety worse. You would have another reason to feel anxious and might catastrophise. I started to have anxious thoughts about my first grandchild until I dealt with it. Like others have said, get treatment for the anxiety and you can enjoy your new grandchild more.

silverlining48 Thu 12-May-22 09:15:50

I understand as I am a worrier but you need to focus on your anxiety because though small people bring joy they also add to anxiety.
Just heard my gs is unwell today, plans have had to change and will be glad to know when he is better.
Congratulations and good wishes

luluaugust Thu 12-May-22 09:16:19

It may be that the arrival of the baby will help to give you a different focus but from my experience the new baby could bring new anxieties. As others have said a word with the GP to start with might be a good idea. As you don't really tell us much it is difficult to judge how outside "normal" your worry is. The lockdown has left lots of us with general anxiety.

CoffeeFirst1 Thu 12-May-22 09:42:53


I understand as I am a worrier but you need to focus on your anxiety because though small people bring joy they also add to anxiety.
Just heard my gs is unwell today, plans have had to change and will be glad to know when he is better.
Congratulations and good wishes

As above. Good advice here, focus on your anxiety.

henetha Thu 12-May-22 09:46:53

The first grandchild is very special and I do hope he brings you great happiness. But you can't depend on him for that.
Others above have given good advice.
I'm sorry about your anxiety and hope you get treatment for it.

Kate1949 Thu 12-May-22 09:48:38

Congratulations. I think it may help. I suffer from general anxiety. It's horrible. I hope you feel better.

Redhead56 Thu 12-May-22 10:19:58

Do you know the reason why you are anxious is it just age maybe? You need to speak to someone about your anxiety. The sooner the better and it will improve your mood. It will brighten your life having a first grandchild.

BigBertha1 Thu 12-May-22 10:25:23

Its great news that first grandchild will soon appear and I hope that you are receiving some help with your own anxiety separately from this.
Grandchildren are great source of joy but also another worry about their welfare and their development. Its natural for grandparents to worry but if you are anxious anyway it would be good to make sure this doesn't get out of control. As others have said if you are not already having some support then please see you GP (if you can) and get some. If you cannot get help by this route their are a number of charities that can offer advice and support.

Hithere Thu 12-May-22 11:49:17

No, a baby is not xanax that will fix your anxiety issue.
Babies are not born with a job

Please go to your GP to get it addressed and drop your unrealistic expectations for thi baby

paddyann54 Thu 12-May-22 13:20:49

I worry about my GC all the time,worries ,in my case expand to include each one as they arrive .They dont get easier as they grow up either

BlueBelle Thu 12-May-22 13:51:57

Unfortunately if you are an overanxious person you will just become anxious about the baby if it cries too much, holds it’s breathe, doesn’t feel well, falls over (when bigger of course)a 101 different things
Deal with your anxiety separately and hopefully be able to handle the many anxieties that come with a new baby

Hithere Thu 12-May-22 14:59:19

the solution for your own issues is yourself and what you can do about it with the help of others

A baby won't help your anxiety, may make it worsr

Redhead56 Thu 12-May-22 16:54:05

My son and daughter are parents and I worry about them still as much as I worry about the lovely grandchildren. We wouldn't be human if we didn't but anxiety is a different thing. I reiterate please speak to someone about it.

VioletSky Thu 12-May-22 17:06:54

As someone with severe anxiety... Get help for you, there are lots of ways to cope with anxiety. Putting that on other people, especially a baby wont help you or them.

Fix this for you so you can reach your full potential

crazyH Thu 12-May-22 17:22:44

The new baby will distract you, but you will have one more little person to worry about.
I am a worrier as well - a headache is a ‘tumour’, an itchy skin is ‘skin cancer’ - so I understand.
But if its really interfering with your life, you need to see your GP.
Congratulations grandma-to-be !.

JenniferEccles Thu 12-May-22 17:51:02

I do hope you are able to overcome this and enjoy your new little baby grandchild.
I am certain this baby will bring so much joy to your life, as any grandparent will tell you, so it would be such a shame if your anxiety stops you getting the most out of this wonderful stage of your life.
Yes of course you will worry when the little one is unwell, just as we all did with our own children, but as others have said, the baby is the parents’ responsibility, so that should help a bit with any anxious thoughts.
It really is the best feeling ever, to see your own child holding their child.

Shelflife Thu 12-May-22 18:13:41

My GC range in age from 19 down to a 4 year old , I love them dearly. However I do worry about them and want life to be kind to them . GC are a delight but with that comes a level of worry ! Please please see your GP , take the help that is offered , that will support you in your goal to be a wonderful GM . Good luck and congratulations!

This2willpass Sat 14-May-22 09:06:31

Thanks for all your posts. I am already seeing my gp and having talking therapy but still lots of ongoing anxiety which won’t go away anytime soon.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 14-May-22 09:13:44

You may also need medication. Talking therapy doesn’t work for everyone.

Serendipity22 Sat 14-May-22 09:20:27

Without sounding awful, you need to need to focus on the anxiety rather than your new GC. I have anxiety and sought help the moment it started.

In my view, hoping to throw yourself into something ( in this instance, your new GC ) is only similar to 'putting a plaster over the problem to hide it', you need to address it face on.

Wishing all the very best. X