My husband died following an RTC in Jan 2020. During the next few months, I had weekly grief counselling sessions over the phone which helped me cope with the raw grief and loneliness.
However, after the sessions ended, I spiralled into a terrible depression, combined with sheer blinding rage - not at OH for dying but with the government for their never ending lockdowns and 'tiers' and ludicrous edicts that meant, at a time I've never needed them more, I couldn't be with and hug my friends.
The nurse-counsellor at my GP surgery prescribed antidepressants which I was reluctant to take. Quite rightly, as it turns out because the first dose induced alarming tachycardia and I was sure I was going to die. I refused to take any more or to try a different medicine. The nurse then referred me to the county mental health service where I was promised a course of CBT- by -phone although nobody could tell me how long I might have to wait.
By January 2021, I was closer to suicide than I'd been for 50 years and terrified of what was happening to me.
I went to the BACP website and searched for local therapists who specialise in CBT and anger management. I read all the profiles and chose one whose approach I felt would be the most helpful and empathetic. He was also seeing clients in his office face to face at a time when most therapists were Zooming and Facetiming which I utterly loathe.
It was the correct choice; he has been so helpful and I can't describe the difference it has made to me.
At first, it was weekly sessions of mindfulness training and meditation then CBT.
It's weird; I can't begin to explain mindfulness. I was deeply cynical at first but just training myself to take a step back, concentrate on nothing but my breathing and contain my thoughts has somehow enabled me to recognise what's important and let go of what's not. The CBT has helped me to understand much of what's gone on in my life ever since childhood and to manage my own response to events.
I still have monthly sessions which are now, mostly, just talk about where I am now, emotionally, and where I see my life going in the short and medium term. Alas, in the summer, my therapist is starting a three year sabbatical. I shall miss him.
Over the past few months, I've talked to a couple of friends who tried CBT in the past for differing reasons and didn't find it helpful. Neither has thought of trying again but my feeling is that finding the right therapist is a bit like online dating. You may not 'gel' with the first or second practitioner you try but there will be someone out there you can work with so it's worth trying again.
As for the cost - charges vary. Most therapists include their hourly rate on their BACP page. I pay £40 per hour here in the east midlands; you may find it more expensive in a more affluent area.
from me today
but I just wanted to say that I found mindfulness so useful too. I was also a bit 
meh about it but went along to weekly sessions and it has helped me tremendously. I can calm myself down now just through breathing and diverting my thoughts and in a sense that has helped lot daily as I can divert panic attacks.