Home births

I had care from two Independent (private) Midwives in America for my second baby, with the backup of a consultant in the local teaching hospital.
The care was SO thorough, respectful, considerate and caring. I saw the same two midwives at home and in the clinic for the duration and had three consultations with my (chosen) consultant who got to know me, my hopes and fears.
This is how maternity services should really be. Always aware that birth is a dangerous but normal process where a crisis could develop and where, if it does, the best compassionate hospital care might be needed

Compared to the birth of baby no.1 it couldn't have been more different. That one was a long story... which changed me forever into the authority-questioning, campaigning, justice-seeking, challenging person I became. The "system" of NHS birth - the exhaustion, lack of resources and lack of funding and support still needs dramatic revision.

Yes, we had to pay for our midwives - but it was worth every penny. We managed to do it (basically) out of a student grant so it couldn't have been out of reach for as many as you might think.

My births were mostly slow, over (usually) two days rather than hours. being at home meant that the clear and obvious normality of the process is deeply embedded in my mind. The gentle trust of my midwives in the birthing process (and in my capacity to give birth) meant that the tightening pains of labour washed over me in an almost meditative way devoid of panic and fear.
I felt, strangely confident, miraculously strong and virtually invincible.

I realise how lucky I am to have had these "simple" births, these semi-magical experiences. I am aware how blessed I am to have been able to share this precious time and step on life's journey with people who love me. And I know how fortunate I am to have these very positive experiences of welcoming our babies into the world.

I also think my older four children are lucky to have been part of their siblings' "ordinary" births and saw that there was no fear.

I hope, when my time comes, that my exit from this world is as gentle and ordinary as my becoming a mother.

DD should have been born at home but pre eclampsia put paid to that. I was however moved to the GP led unit once she had been safely delivered where the atmosphere was much more relaxed. No choice at all with DS who involved over a month in hospital before being induced two weeks early. GP suggested that having babies was something I wasn’t good at and perhaps two might be enough. It was! Still feel cheated of the home birth experience though!

It isn’t allowed here and I am glad. I think it is irresponsible having had a friend in the uk who had a lot of problems and had to be rushed into hospital for an emergency caesarean. Totally unpredicted.

Farmor15 you make some very relevant points: much anecdotal evidence around safety or otherwise of home birth is based on the experience of women who freebirth i.e. choose to have no formal antenatal or intrapartum care. Planned and supported home birth with good antenatal care (which involves ongoing assessment of wellbeing and risk) is known to be as safe, if not safer than birthing in a hospital setting. Care from Independent (private) Midwives is usually top notch and certainly something I would recommend to my daughter if she is ever lucky enough to need that service.

Friendly reminder - This is a thread about experience of home birth

All births are precious I know, but i don't feel this is a thread about hospital births or reasons why you wouldn't have a home birth.
I may have read the OP wrong but I see this as a space for talking about home births.

Not trying to be irritating. Sorry.

Me and my oldest would have died if we hadn't have been in hospital and my subsequent children wouldn't have been born. It must be lovely (and I mean that ) to have straightforward births at home

Complications can arise, even in hospital, and there have been many of incidents of mothers and/or babies dying during mismanaged hospital births.

I opted for hospital for my 5 (though one was nearly born in the car!), but I had easy births and hospital was good.

DD1 had 2nd baby at home, by accident, delivered by her husband with instructions over the phone from midwife! All well, midwives arrived shortly after and they didn't have to go to hospital at all. It ended up a very positive experience so she opted for home birth for 3rd. However, she had caught Covid a month before and due to uncertainty over possibly complications, she had to have hospital birth. But because she was registered with home birth team, it was in midwife led unit, and they were able to come home after a few hours.

I'd be reluctant to suggest home birth for a 1st baby, but I had no worries about daughter's choice.

Usually home birth midwives are connected to hospital and will transfer to hospital if any risk arises. Some horror stories about home births gone wrong are when private midwives or alternative practitioners are involved.

IMO hospital everytime! I can understand the attraction of a home birth but unexpected complications can and do happen !!!

NotSpaghetti you put that so beautifully. I totally agree.
So much wisdom has been lost in the process of birth and death.

I have 4 home birth experiences and one hospital.

All were slow... very slow... but the joy of birthing in your own home with people you love and trust is beyond compare.

Birth (and death, with the right support), can be strangely and powerfully life affirming and magical wherever they happen - but the beauty, peace and awe of this process of birth, of transition, of change and growth, of connection and wholeness when lived out in your own home is so very normal so remarkably unremarkable that it is simply "perfect".

Would never have a home birth....I would spend too much time worrying to enjoy it...I had my 3 in a midwife led unit...Nice and relaxed...non clinical environment but NICU and theatres nearby if needed

Blondiescot

I had both of mine by emergency c sections well.The first time myself and DS1 almost died, the second one came almost close to it again as my uterus was on the point of rupture by the time they got DS2 out.
I was a nurse and did midwifery training before I was married which was in the late 60s when home births were very command delivered many babies at home with no complications but as in my case thing can go go sadly wrong.
Home births are lovely when straight forward.

I remember many years ago my cousin an experienced midwife decided she wanted her 3rd baby at home delivered by a colleague and friend. I was never sure what went wrong but her husband told us the room looked like someone had been massacred, blood everywhere- they had to get rid of carpets and bed.
But Mum and baby were taken to hospital and all OK, but the experience traumatised my cousin and not long after resigned and retrained and is now headteacher of a primary school.
It completely put me off home births but saying that my second nearly was, I gave birth in the reception of maternity hospital as I left it very late leaving home.

My first daughter was born in a small town hospital, my first so no discussion. The birth was straightforward, no complications of pain relief. The hospital was lovely but the food was dier. I had been so sick while pregnant I was seriously underweight and ravenous. Two slices of bread and butter for dinner didn’t even touch the sides.
When I was pregnant with my second daughter I didn’t have any family who would have looked after my two year old. My mum only ever “visited” and expected be waited on. So I asked for a home birth.
I had all my antenatal appointments either at my GP or the midwives visited me at home. It was VIP treatment!
The birth was lovely and calm and the catering was much better. My mum disapproved but it was partly her “fault” I chose this and I was grateful I did.

I had my first baby in hospital, very noisy, midwife was a "character" and kept banging my husband on the arm telling him to encourage me. He was covered in bruises!!

My second was the best of both worlds, I think. I had a GP delivery which meant I had my own midwife throughout my ante-natal care and she came round to our house when I went into labour and stayed with us, chatting and having cups of tea until I was well established in labour. We then drove together to the hospital, my GP was alerted and she came to observe the delivery and help out if necessary. No hospital staff were involved, we just "used the facilities" as it were, but the hospital consultants were on site if we needed them. Very relaxed, dimmed lights, gentle encouragement and I was home within hours. Totally different experience. I understand this option is not offered nowadays, which is a shame.

First child in hospital but very easy and straightforward so second was a home birth.
So easy, so relaxed.
I had got to know the midwife really well and when I started labour as it was expected to be quick she came round with her knitting.
Within about an hour and a half things moved really quickly and I nearly gave birth on the stairs on my way to bed.
All over in a very short time and the midwife was on her way home before midnight, she had arrived about 8:30.
4 year old big sister came in the next morning having slept through it all and said “ nobody told me the baby was coming in the night.
If everything is well and safe there is nothing like it.

I had first child in hospital, second at home and third in hospital. Of all the births the home one was the best experience. Pottering around in the evening and watching TV until midwife decided my toes were curling with the pains and I’d better lie down. Son born to gentle strains of Joni Mitchell and his two year old brother came in, looked in the crib and said “Hello baby”, as if it happened everyday ?

I guess it all comes down to personal choice, but having ended up with two emergency c-sections, I'm glad I didn't go down the home birth route. I also know of two families whose babies ended up with serious birth defects because they did opt for home births but unexpected complications arose.
In my own case, had my mother opted for a home birth, both she and I would have died.

My daughter had both my DGDs at home one only 4 months ago and she’ll tell you it was the best thing ever. She is a midwife herself though so she knew the risks and was prepared to have to go to hospital if necessary. As soon as GD2 was born she wanted me and her Dad there. We drove over and the two midwives were still there pottering around, it was calm and relaxed and her and her DH were cuddled in bed with baby.

Two of my four were born at home and the third would have been had we not been living in the Scottish Highlands (long story) Five of my eight grandchildren also born at home, one of them here at our house as they were living with us for a short time. Such wonderful memories of all of them.

I had my second child in a small cottage hospital and it was strangely important to me that I had been wearing my own nightie. I think a home birth would have been quite special.