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'Nerves'

(69 Posts)
Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 14:58:43

I suffer really badly with what I believe was once called 'nerves'. I can't relax, am on edge all the time waiting for the next horrible thing to happen. I have been given beta blockers by my GP which didn't help. I have had a bit of counselling, hypnotherapy, tried Kalms, rescue remedy, self help books etc.
I am now at the point where I am starting to fear leaving the house. I can't go for a coffee or drink with anyone as my hand starts to shake and the drink goes everywhere. I'm not ill. I just convince myself that I'm going to shake and I do. I am truly fed up with living like this. Does anyone else suffer this way?

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 23:04:06

Thank you Jennifer. Total hair loss is very difficult. It happened 13 or so years ago. Yes it has contributed to my anxiety along with the fact that my mother took me to a dentist aged 11 and let him take all of my teeth out.

JenniferEccles Thu 21-Jul-22 22:54:33

Sorry to hear about your hair loss Kate. It can be so worrying if we find our hair is thining.
Has this happened recently?
Could that have contributed to your anxiety, although you do indicate that this stems from childhood.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 22:42:45

Thank you Pixieboots (what a great name). Yes I've had all Claire Weeks books.

Pixieboots Thu 21-Jul-22 22:13:47

Hi, I can see you've tried self help and you are determined not to let this beat you. Be kind to yourself. Have you read any of Dr Claire Weeks self help books? They were published in the 80s but are still relevant today. She talks of loosening and accepting, of floating and letting time pass. Sounds a bit airy fairy but in the context of her books it makes lots of sense. The title Self help for your nerves captures what you say in your post about “nerves”. Clearly you need to rule out any organic health conditions first as others have said. flowers

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 20:25:55

Thank you.

vampirequeen Thu 21-Jul-22 20:25:55

You're downplaying your illness. You don't suffer from 'nerves'. You suffer from a form of anxiety. I notice that in your posts you blame yourself for your condition. Many people blame themselves if they suffer from MH conditions. This is usually because, until recently, they were often seen as a type of weakness whilst physical illnesses were 'real' and to be shown compassion. Don't stop going out as it will only make your anxiety worse. I have agoraphobia and I'd hate you to end up in my position. You need to go back to your GP and tell him/her how you are feeling.

Marthjolly1 Thu 21-Jul-22 19:37:25

I've been listening to a really interesting podcast on Radio 4. 'The Expectation Effects' read by the Author of the book, David Robson. Basically if we tell ourselves we will have negative experiences then we will. Also discusses research that has been done in this field where placebo medications have been used with surprising results. It could be of help to you. I do hope things get better for you

kittylester Thu 21-Jul-22 19:23:44

Thanks kate, she is doing OK!

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 18:36:43

Thank you kitty. You're very kind. I hope your daughter is doing well.

kittylester Thu 21-Jul-22 18:27:28

Lots of things to consider her so i have nothing else to offer but a big hug, kate.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 18:26:54

Thank you Riverwalk. I'll make myself go out. I won't let it beat me!

Riverwalk Thu 21-Jul-22 18:06:00

Whatever you do don't stop going out of the house - until you get the shakes sorted just avoid having a drink in confined spaces, stick to the pub garden where it won't be so obvious if you start throwing your drink around.

But please don't stay indoors, that could easily lead to additional problems as we've seen over these two Covid years, some people have ended up as hermits, scared to go out the door.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 17:54:56

I think you've hit the nail on the head there Riverwalk. Deep down I know this is the cause. Very insightful of you.

Riverwalk Thu 21-Jul-22 17:49:38

Kate from what you've written about your childhood, and with the benefit of hindsight, you probably should have had professional psychotherapy many years ago - not counselling, hypnotherapy, self-help, etc.

Long-term trauma and damage can't be undone with positive thinking and a bit of a chat - but proper psychotherapy can take many years of treatment.

I'm far from an expert but your tremor sounds functional rather than essential, so might be managed with a course of CBT, which could get you over the practical problem of dealing with the shakes.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 17:34:16

You are right VioletSky.

VioletSky Thu 21-Jul-22 17:29:17

It is just concerning to me that the problem is getting worse, lots of other hormones and vitamin deficiencies or illness can worsen it...

Definitely speak to your GP...

Counselling could help too

You shouldn't have to live like this lf there is a way that works to manage it

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 17:19:21

HowVeryDareYou. Sometimes I do at home as it's on my mind constantly. I saw a doc in TV the other week who mentioned Essential Tremor. He said 5 million people in the UK suffer with it. I don't think mine is that. I do it to myself. It's like a form of self sabotage if that makes sense.

HowVeryDareYou Thu 21-Jul-22 16:58:17

Kate1949 Do you shake like that when you're just at home? Doing things in the house? A friend of mine has an Essential Tremor, which is present all the time (she's had it for years) but blood tests etc haven't shown any actual cause

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:52:49

My thyroid was checked when I lost my hair. They said it was fine.

VioletSky Thu 21-Jul-22 16:51:25

Kate1949

Just ask for blood tests to rule out a physical cause for your worsening anxiety..

Mental and physical health is often linked

Farmor15 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:50:23

It might be worth getting thyroid tested again as VioletSky suggests. When mine was overactive, I was jittery, anxious and hands shook, particularly in social situations. Holding a cup of coffee on a saucer was a nightmare! But when thyroid was treated, most of those symptoms went away.

Since your 'nerves' have been a long standing problem, it's probably not thyroid related, but might be worth checking anyway.

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:49:05

My husband is very level headed. If I say I might shake, he says 'You might. So what? People won't care. It's just you that feels embarrassed.' He's right. Thanks everyone. I'll shut up now!

Kate1949 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:45:12

Thank you. I know it's nerves. I've been nervous since childhood.

Oh Nell. Poor you. How I sympathise. I'm going to extraordinary lengths to avoid picking things up! I went for a coffee in M&S once which I never do by myself. The coffee was sloshing around all over the tray and the assistant ran from behind the counter saying 'Oo you're having a turn'. How embarrassing.

VioletSky Thu 21-Jul-22 16:36:29

I want to second getting your thyroid tested.

I've always had manageable anxiety but your thyroid can send it sky high!

Nell8 Thu 21-Jul-22 16:32:26

That nervous shaking is a real nuisance, Kate I suffered from it badly when I worked as a secretary and had to offer visitors cups of tea. The rattling noise was so embarrassing and half the drink ended up in the saucer. In the end I had to ask a colleague to take over as waitress. Business lunches where soup was served were another nightmare. I must have looked very odd holding the spoon hand with the other to minimise spillage!
Something which helped eventually was arm and shoulder exercises which seemed to make my muscles more stable and under control. I wonder if improving the physical side of things could help take your mind off the wobbling?
If my hands start shaking in company when I'm serving food I don't get tensed up about it now. In fact if I say "Look at my blooming hands. They're all over the place." I start to relax or someone will rush forward to rescue the situation.
I hope your problem won't stop you getting out and about.