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Black DOG 13

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Anniebach Sun 18-Sept-22 15:04:41

Content warning - this thread discusses suicidal feelings. This Thread is for support, understanding and sharing of
all mental health problems

Wyllow3 Tue 01-Nov-22 10:24:09

Ho Sweetpeasue oh my I recognise the "Self -hater" within that makes one isolate almost like one might effect others or just hanging on in there until it passes. I haven't quite ever worked out what brings it on, but its a cruel time. sorry you had/are having a bad bout.

Had a dreadful morning mind wise whats the point going on etc etc - its lifting a bit as I've got onto solicitors to try and fast forward some vital forms that I have to collaborate on with Ex, and do it soon...
.... for I cant take a lot more him appearing to ambush me and tell me we will see each other forever as contradicting him/drawing boundaries could lead to his withdrawing co-operation.

Lots so love others will check in in the day!

Sweetpeasue Tue 01-Nov-22 09:52:26

Doodle Bad dreams often stay with us and seem to affect our day don't they. It must have been a nasty one. Sorry its left you jittery and out of sorts. The cauliflower must have been huge! What did you do with it? Really upset yesterday. Not pain. Difficult to explain. Self-loathing and needing to isolate myself. Anyway--2 kilos on bike Doodle. Hope your legs are ok.
HVDY Don't do too much today.
(just had to edit my coming sentence as it inserted itself under my post to Doodle) What a strange dream and what a nasty little man! I'm sure your legs are fine.
Wyllow3 Hope your day goes well today. Glad your last counselling session was helpful.
Annie In my thoughts and all on BD.

Hope everyones day goes well. x

HowVeryDareYou Tue 01-Nov-22 08:44:05

Doodle I had some strange dreams last night - I dreamt I was out with a group of people, at some fancy bar/restaurant, when a man on the next table stoked my shin (bare legs) and said my legs looked grubby grin. I hope you are not so jittery today.

Wyllow3, Sweetpeasue, ScaredyCat, EllieAnne, and all on BD - Hope your day goes as well as possible.

Son1 spent the 1st night in his house smile. There are still lots of small items to go there, so DH and I will take them later, in the hire van. x

nadateturbe Mon 31-Oct-22 23:39:14

Annie, sending my love 🙏 xx

Wyllow3 Mon 31-Oct-22 22:30:01

put off Ellie Ann not out off.

(I haven't worked out how to edit posts yet, if indeed one can)

Wyllow3 Mon 31-Oct-22 22:28:41

Later jitters too Doodle, lets just say, "tomorrow is another day"
but your shopping trip was definitely NOT a lot of fun! Good cycling.

Ellie Anne you've been on my thoughts as I was worried you might have been out off by things we said on family matters in your tough time xx

(((*Annie*))) as ever - it it your pain, are there problems xx

Bless you all BD's and may your night be as peaceful as they can (and lower pain levels for those affected)

Doodle Mon 31-Oct-22 22:20:03

HVDY that is a long life indeed. He certainly spent the best years of his life with you.
Ellie Anne keep wondering how you are coping. Have you seen anything of your DGC.
How is everyone today? We went for a long walk including popping into a local shop on the way. Probably not a good idea as I bought 2 pints of milk and the biggest cauliflower you can imagine. Then we had to carry it home. The cauli was so heavy. We were worn out when we got back. Been quite warm here but torrential downpour shortly after we got home.
I’ve had a touch of the jitters today. Had a really strange dream last night and been out of sorts ever since. Can’t quite shake it off.
Going to ride my bike in a minute. Are you still riding Sweetpeasue? Sleep well all

HowVeryDareYou Mon 31-Oct-22 20:37:32

Thanks, Doodle. The boy had a long and happy life with us (we had him 11.5 years of his approximate 18 years, he was feral/stray until then).

I hope everyone on BD is having better weather - it's rained heavily nonstop since about 6pm x

Doodle Mon 31-Oct-22 19:24:54

HVDY a sad day for you today. You will be thinking about Mr Cooper a lot I suspect and missing his cuddles.
Certainly not just a cat. Our pets are members of the family. Sweetpeasue is right, we will miss hearing about Mr Cooper too. Loved and missed. Hope your sons moves go well and they are happy in their new homes.
Annie difficult time for you. Love you and miss you 💕xx
wyllow I hope after the paperwork is completed you can relax a bit and plan your own future.
Hello 👋 all on BD. Hope you’ve been ok today.

HowVeryDareYou Mon 31-Oct-22 18:47:29

Thank you, Wyllow3, and thank you too, Whiff. My boy had been my constant companion since I came out of hospital 15 months ago. He had a long and happy life, and we all loved him, I'm sure he knew that.

Whiff Mon 31-Oct-22 17:00:38

HVDY I am sorry about about Mr Cooper. He was loved and gave love in return. But such a sad ending for him and you and all your family. Furry family members are better than some human family members. They give unconditional love and I truly believe cats and dogs know if there owner is sad or unwell. I know my friends cats and my brother and sister in law's dog know when they need extra attention as they don't want to play and just stay by their side until they feel better. 💐

Wyllow3 Mon 31-Oct-22 15:36:56

Annie, whatever it is, all the best.

Hope all goes smoothly family move wise HVDY.

My night was a bit better, everything today focused on 2nd counselling session. Pretty raw stuff, but very much to the point and I feel she will help me move on. I've got the last pieces of the paperwork of final bit of Divorce this week. Hopefully last week of feeling under pressure to have to "make nice" to Ex - after, who knows, its at least then on a safe footing as regards my future.

Joane123 Mon 31-Oct-22 14:48:26

Hello Annie.
Just wanted to say I will be thinking about you tomorrow and sending you love.
flowers xx Lavender Meganxx

HowVeryDareYou Mon 31-Oct-22 12:29:58

Thank you, ScaredyCat. Of all the cats we've had, he was my favourite. Such a lovely-natured little friend.

Scaredycat Mon 31-Oct-22 10:50:46

HVDY- just seen your post. I am so sad for you at losing your dear MrCooper. He had become much loved by us all. What a day of mixed emotions for you this one is. Hope the moving goes well and that this is the start of good times for your sons. Take care- be kind to yourself - and know that you could not have done more for your lovely Mr Cooper.xx

HowVeryDareYou Mon 31-Oct-22 10:05:25

smile. Thank you x

Ellie Anne Mon 31-Oct-22 09:33:41

How sad. He was such a big part of your lives. Xx

Sweetpeasue Mon 31-Oct-22 08:45:00

HVDY I've only just seen your news. I didn't check my phone last night. I'm so sorry. Me Cooper did have a good life with you but I know you will miss him so much. What a shock it must have been. I know we on BD will also miss hearing about your news of what he gets up to and how he is. You will feel a huge loss. Much love to you today when I know you will have so much on with your sons moving. X

HowVeryDareYou Sun 30-Oct-22 23:16:03

Thank you, Wyllow3 and Doodle. I've had a cry, cleared out the cupboard - he had a cupboard all to himself in the kitchen - and thrown away some of his things. I'm glad he went quickly. Some people would say "Oh, it's just a cat", but he was like a little person to me, daft as that sounds. I adored him.
Big day tomorrow - both sons are on the move. I hope everyone on BD has a good night's sleep. x

Wyllow3 Sun 30-Oct-22 22:54:37

Aw, HVDY
thinking of you specially tonight as you grieve for Mr Cooper xxxx

Doodle Sun 30-Oct-22 22:41:00

It’s a relief it was so quick. At least you know he didn’t suffer.
Be a sad night for you tonight. Thinking of you x

HowVeryDareYou Sun 30-Oct-22 22:21:55

Thank you, Doodle. He was much-loved, and he apparently died straightaway (blow to the head). It would have been worse had he been injured and not dead. I'm glad it wasn't when the GDs were here (they don't need to know until we see them). x

Doodle Sun 30-Oct-22 22:11:52

HVDY I am so shocked and so sad for you. You must be so upset. I’m glad at least that you know what happened to him and he didn’t just go missing. Hopefully it was quick and painless. I am so so sorry. Mr Cooper had a good life with you and was much loved I know. Sending you a big hug.

HowVeryDareYou Sun 30-Oct-22 21:49:23

Sad news from me -

Mr Cooper has died. DH and I were sitting watching tv, the boy had been outside about an hour or less. Knock at the door, a woman I don't know asks my name and says Mr Cooper is dead. She lives up the street, has got a microchip scanner, that's how she got the details. She wasn't the driver of the car that hit him (right outside our house, apparently). I don't know, didn't ask how she got to know about it. She was lovely, very kind, took me to her garden, where he was lying on the grass, dead. I wrapped him in a towel I took, then DH dug a hole in the garden and we buried him. In 42 years of having cats, he was my favourite. Such a sweet, gentle old boy x

Doodle Sun 30-Oct-22 19:51:30

Sweetpeasue sometimes I get thwacked by DHs arm in bed. He suddenly flings it wide and it lands on me. When he used to get cramp in his legs I could get kicked too. I know he was asleep and didn’t mean it.
I’m sure the overactive nighttime brain is something that all those with depression, anxiety, worry or frustration get. When we go to bed the thoughts of the day crowd in and unless we can switch them off quickly they take control. It happens without even thinking about it.
Wyllow I usually bike last thing at night as by the time I get off I am too shattered to do anything other than fall into bed. 🤣
Scaredycat good news about your friend. Yes I have had tinnitus for many years too. If I think about it, it is always there but sometimes I can forget about it for days. Sometimes it’s so loud I can’t believe it and nothing I do will quiet it down.
Have you been out today? We have had an “at home” so DH could catch up on paperwork and I got some ironing done.
Sleep well Annie hope you are ok.

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