Black DOG 13

Thankyou so much. Also to Doodle and others. It really helps to know that it's just circumstances I was born into. I've had so much trauma and difficulties with family and got bullied severely in 2 jobs. I have a counsellor which I pay for although I can't afford it - the NHS said no other help is available because mental health services are swamped. The private counsellor said that 'I'm too nice a person' and this causes problems with jealousy or people playing on my good nature. I'm sort of out of sync. with how the world is today. I've often been told to 'toughen up' ever since I was a child and I can't do it. I've really tried. I have read the comments and it does help to know that others go through similar things and worse. Depression is such a dreadful thing to have but reading about other GN experiences really does move me forwards. Just a simple comment has made a great difference because I go around and round in circles over the same old ground. Hearing things from other GN does help to break this cycle because it reinforces what I have been told over and over. For some reason I don't want to believe what has happened to me and then a GN comes along and says the same message but with different words and it finally sinks into my thick head.
The blackdog is dreadful but sharing and talking about it does more for recovery than people realise.

The comments on GN recently, about what my situation has been like, has finally supported what I have been told all along but wouldn't accept. To all those who replied I don't think you will ever realise how your words have helped me see a way through. You must be really lovely people and I owe you all a big thanks.

To anyone out there who is suffering with this black dog depression things will get better. You have to hang in there. Read about the condition and about how others are and have coped. Things will make sense eventually but it takes time. Take 'baby steps' towards recovery. Love to all and thanks x

Yes. Thank you EllieAnne. Feel like I'm coming down from some huge high mountain. I don't know when I'll sleep but I'm used to that now. You take care of yourself and don't worry about me. I'll be OK.

So relieved. That you are feeling better. Hope you manage some rest tonight and can get help in the morning.

Thank you Doodle. I must be iller than I thought. Ive never been such an idiot before. I don't know what's the matter with me but I'll be OK tonight now.

Sleep peacefully x

I'm so sorry to you all. I think I'll be OK tonight. This has shocked me. I've never behaved like this before. I m so sorry. I will leave you all in peace and thank GN for allowing me contact with you

Thank you Doodle. Thankyou

Try and get some sleep. If you feel the same tomorrow try and contact someone. Rest and sleep if you can. Thinking of you x

Thank you GN for not taking me off. You've allowed me to say things I couldn't usually say even though much of it may have been incoherent and gibberish. I'm feeling calmer. Thank you

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The closest I’ve come to what you’re feeling is a full blown panic attack. You can’t control it, it happens. Please believe me, no one thinks you’ve made an idiot of yourself we are just trying to help. Please don’t worry about that. No more anxiety or stress tonight. Try and rest. Every time I wake up tonight I will say a prayer for you so even if you think no one is around we will be thinking of you x

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It’s easier for us, we’re not there. Don’t blame him it’s hard to cope when someone is really distressed. Could you go any lie down on the bed now and try the breathing exercises and see if your body and mind can relax. x

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Sweetpeasue you don’t have to say sorry or worry about us or anyone on GN. Don’t fret or add to your anxiety. Just try and relax and hold onto your husband. He needs your help too.
Nothing to forgive. You are very upset.

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Same thought at the same time Violetsky. Relaxing breathing. Good advice Annie.

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Try some deep breathing if you can. Please, please if you start to feel worse again go to A&E. Your DH needs help and support too so go for him if not for yourself. x

sweetpeasue

Stop and breathe

Breathe in for the count of 5, hold for the count of 5 then exhale for the count of 5.

This will help your body to calm and relax

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Let’s think about your husband, take your life,he will have to tell your children , they will have to tell your grandchildren.

He will have to attend the inquest, will be asked why didn’t he
telephone for help, your children will naturally ask him the same.

I assure you inquest following a suicide are so painful, he will
.have to say - I didn’t know what to do,he will be asked if he had heard of the Samaritans.

You refuse to ring the Samaritans, you can ring the police, they
will take you to a place of safety and call a physiatrist, they will
be gentle with you I promise