Princess Grace hospital cancelled vital surgery for woman who requested single-sex care

And a man who decides he truly wants to be female, and goes through a very long process, hormonal and surgical, then legal to become officially a female on all papers.

Not a female. You can’t change sex.

Why should such a person not become a surgeon, a GP, a nurse or a carer?

Why not indeed.

Why would such a person be any more of a threat than the average man or woman, or gay?
They shouldn’t, and until the upsurge of cheating, distressing and harmful TW and their supporters and their rise to fame with violence, publicity stunts, death threats and harassment against females who said you can’t change sex, was there a problem?

Dragging in violent females is just a sidetrack. No one I know has objected to restrictions being placed on females prone to violence.

* sorry missed the 'some' before male bodied transwoman.

Urgh

Here we go again with the discrimination against all trans people

You don't need that in these conversations and they would be more productive without it

Meh

But VS, it’s you who constantly and unwarranted accuses others of discrimination against all trans whilst I and other posters explain which trans activities are wrong and that they have no issues with trans who don’t do those activities.
I’ll explain again if it will help.
Either you don’t understand simple explanations or you’re not “being kind”.

Anyway I’m just popping out as I want to finish my marking before Strictly, but I may pop in later.

I had this thread hidden but accidentally clicked on it in "trending" thinking it was a different one

It needs to be hidden again I'm afraid along with the rest and I won't be back for a long time after what has been said to me

Have a nice evening

VioletSky

I had this thread hidden but accidentally clicked on it in "trending" thinking it was a different one

It needs to be hidden again I'm afraid along with the rest and I won't be back for a long time after what has been said to me

Ok

Not that there's a thread I want to hide, but if I did how would I do it please as I can't see any 'hide' tab?

I can't hide threads either Rosie51

Also it is clear on this thread that people discriminate against women with disabilities and their safety if we are going to start calling people out

Jane, it must be awful to have people dismissing your perfectly reasonable concerns so glibly. Little comfort I know but we do see the callousness displayed at times.

I’m not very technically skilled, so no surprise I don’t know how to hide threads either. Not that I need to hide threads I’ve no interest in, games for example I scroll on by. If I’m not finding the discussion interesting -scroll on by

JaneJ -that’s a true reflection of the lack of concern for women with disabilities.

ALL of us on this thread could or will become women with disabilities who require personal care unless we are lucky (or rich) because old age isn't very kind to lots of people

Inknow that is a depressing thought btw but I am being realistic

JaneJudge

ALL of us on this thread could or will become women with disabilities who require personal care unless we are lucky (or rich) because old age isn't very kind to lots of people

My mother spent the last three months of her life in hospital where the best personal care she received was from a male nurse who was the kindest and gentlest person she encountered. He was not only highly skilled, he had great empathy. My mother adored him. There were a couple of women nurses who treated her as if she wasn't all there. She also had a male social worker who was trying to organise her discharge and treated her with the utmost respect. If I need personal care in the future I certainly wouldn't judge that care by the sex of the provider.

I'm glad your Mother received good care in hospital and I'm sorry you lost your Mum but you are unwilling to listen to people who are concerned about short/long term female personal care wherever you are

You just are not listening

JaneJudge

I'm glad your Mother received good care in hospital and I'm sorry you lost your Mum but you are unwilling to listen to people who are concerned about short/long term female personal care wherever you are

You just are not listening

Not, imo, appropriate to say to genuine, heartfelt, personal testimony.

JaneJudge

I'm glad your Mother received good care in hospital and I'm sorry you lost your Mum but you are unwilling to listen to people who are concerned about short/long term female personal care wherever you are

You just are not listening

I'm listening. I simply disagree about personal care, because I have experienced excellent personal care for women by men. Now you may prefer to have a woman carer but certainly my mother preferred the man and the care he gave was vastly superior to that provided by some of the female staff. Having witnessed that I consider warnings that female carers are necessary in old age to be completely misleading. As far as I'm concerned the quality of the care is more important than the sex of the provider.

Wyllow3

JaneJudge

I'm glad your Mother received good care in hospital and I'm sorry you lost your Mum but you are unwilling to listen to people who are concerned about short/long term female personal care wherever you are

You just are not listening

Not, imo, appropriate to say to genuine, heartfelt, personal testimony.

Except it attempts to nullify those people whose dignity is maintained by same sex intimate care. An elderly single aunt who we supported to the last had never been intimate with a male. Yes some of the male nurses were incredibly kind, caring and all round lovely, but that didn't lessen her humiliation at having intimate procedures carried out by them. She hated every second of that care, and it did impact her last days. If I could have spared her that discomfort I would have. Just because one person is unaffected by opposite sex intimate care doesn't mean nobody is allowed to be affected. Empathy for different situations and responses doesn't cost anything.

And in fact Glorianny's post while I was typing mine shows a complete absence of empathy with anyone with a different viewpoint. Should we have told auntie she was being ridiculous for feeling humiliated? Nice way to end your life!

Yes as long as I am happy with something it's ok.

Wow Glorianny!
Don’t you think quality of the care is about how it makes the patient feel - both mentally and physically?
Or are you now the arbiter of what’s OK?
So if you think it’s OK, then it’s OK for everyone.

I may be reading this wrongly Janejudge, but a great concern for you is that your daughter would be unable to tell anyone if her care was inappropriate?

That has to raise extra safeguarding issues.Management and other staff at least have to know (I can’t put this any other way) that penetration is a possibility so that any signs noticed by other Carers are not just dismissed as that couldn’t have happened because all her carers are women.

When dealing with children and vulnerable adults who are unable to protect themselves we all have a responsibility to insist that safeguards are in place.

Quite. Care for people like my daughter is not a temporary situation, it's a long term one and unfortunately the abuse statistics speak for themselves hence why there are laws around female only personal care. My daughter is lucky that she has me to advocate for her as lots of other women don't receive advocacy at all and they are left with people making their own interpretations of law.

I could go into more detail about things that have happened to us/her directly when poor decisions have been made but she requires a degree of confidentiality.

I'm sorry if people think I have been unkind. I have received male care myself but I have a choice and I have mental capacity

Firstly I think anyone should be able to request the care they feel they need and the carers they prefer.
I simply posted my mum's experiences because they contrast with the warnings about elderly care being given out. I think if we are not to discuss the subject properly and only discuss certain aspects of care then a skewed picture emerges which, especially on a site like GN, could be worrying for some people.
My worst experience of care came from a female nurse we nicknamed "the dragon" who when my mum was first admitted virtually accused me of hiding the fact that she was incontinent (she wasn't). The nurse was rude, demanding and scary. But much later when I discussed a DNR with her and my mum was seriously ill she changed completely. So it isn't just the nurse or the gender that matters some nurses and carers are better at certain stages of life.

Rosie51 I am sorry your aunt received poor care. Can I ask why you didn't point out her discomfort to staff and ask for a different nurse.? My mother at 94 was still capable of telling staff when she didn't want to be touched or managed and often did so. Had she not been capable I would have taken over supervision of her care as I did many of the other things we had problems with, like her diet.

But management can only provide female only care if they know who is female.

Of course there have been abusive female carers and medical staff too, as I have reason to know. But it is a safeguarding issue to be fully aware of the types of abuse, like rape, that are a possibility so that alarm bells can be rung.

I, in posts I have held, have accepted and agreed that in a position of responsibility, where children and vulnerable adults are concerned some of my right to privacy has to be given up. Advanced checks, previous names, previous positions held, disclosure of offences, information on close relatives or relationships are all standard practice in some positions.

Surely checks of the same standard should be in place in all places were vulnerable adults and children can be targeted?