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Black Dog 14

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Mon 28-Nov-22 23:27:45

This thread is for the support, understanding and sharing of all mental health problems.

Joane123 Fri 03-Feb-23 20:09:20

I hope you all have a peaceful evening and night. It is good to read how you support each other through the good and bad times. I know how much it has meant to me in the past.
Take care all xx

Doodle Fri 03-Feb-23 20:19:36

Sweetpeasue it most certainly isn’t you or anyone.
All are welcome and all problems deserve support and help.
What you do is carry on posting.
I think people often think “oh it’s me” that someone is talking about but it isn’t. As I said it’s not one thing or one poster. Threads evolve and go in the direction of all those who post.
I do know Annie wouldn’t have wanted anyone to be upset or to feel badly about themselves.
Please just carry on posting as you have.
Sweetpeasue you have been supportive and helpful to others. You do not just think about yourself so don’t think that.
We know you are going through a rough time.
Have you any plans for the weekend?
HVDY of course we need lightness as well. It’s good to know we all have some good days and enjoyment in our lives.
Anything good in the airfryer tonight?
Joane thank you. I hope things are going better for you too. I do remember you.
Take care all x

HowVeryDareYou Fri 03-Feb-23 20:35:18

Doodle Thanks. I didn't feel like cooking, so we had an Indian takeaway. I hope you and your lovely husband are ok today.

I hope all on BD has a restful night x

Doodle Fri 03-Feb-23 20:52:51

Thanks HVDY DH is still coughing. Bit like yours. Seems to be getting better then it comes back again.
His brother and SIL are coming for lunch tomorrow. Haven’t seen them for a while. I think they might be surprised how much he’s gone downhill since the last time they saw him.

Wyllow3 Fri 03-Feb-23 21:21:57

That will be difficult for you all Doodle.

That's why I posted the dress HVDY, it was nice not just to post bad stuff.

Sweetpeasue carry on, its OK.

Hello joanne I haven't met you, nice to meet you.

I'm watching the easy watch "Death in Paradise" and have contacted Ex's mums carer, I intended to keep in touch but events overcame me, but am very fond of her - had promised to keep going ground now and then, but haven't as the only time she is compos mentis is late afternoon when I am out of it. I cant phone - she is too dosed up to handle it and oncoming dementia. Ex has just cut them out.

HowVeryDareYou Fri 03-Feb-23 22:18:46

Doodle. It's such a shame your husband's health has deteriorated. It'll be nice for him to see his brother and wife. Will you have to cook?

Wyllow My husband likes that programme. He's been watching Father Brown this evening. What a pity your ex has cut out those people from his life. You've had/got enough to deal with, though.

Joanne123 Hello, and do keep dropping in.

I'm quite tired tonight - I did a lot of bending when doing the cleaning at "work" today. I've changed my bedding, had a shower and am looking forward to getting into my clean bed. Hope everyone has a good sleep. x

Doodle Fri 03-Feb-23 22:37:08

Yes I am cooking but it’s easy. Steak and chips for DH and his brother. Chicken and chips for me and his SIL and cheesecake (bought) for pud.
Take it easy with your job. You don’t want to do yourself and injury. I’ve been tidying up today for tomorrow’s visit (shoving things in cupboards mostly 🤣)
Wyllow you are kind to think about your Exs mum. Does her carer live with her full time or just pop in and out?

Sweetpeasue Fri 03-Feb-23 23:03:09

Joanne What encouraging and kind words from yourself. Thankyou. Much appreciated. You take care of yourself too.
Doodle Im deeply sorry about your DHs continueing cough. He must be so weary. I hope his inhaler helps a little. Do you think milder nights may help it? If so, role on Spring! Hope he is lifted by his brother's visit tomorrow.
Wyllow The dress was so beautiful. Do go for it, as the ad says... You're WORTH it. Seriously though--I thought it lovely. Nice to keep in touch with ex's mum but do understand how difficult that must be in circumstances (your own health and MH problems) esp. the dementia.
HVDY Hope your husband starts to feel better soon. You've been so busy today. Your job sounds like there are some nice clients to get to know. Oh how lovely it is to get into a freshly made bed! Lovely smooth sheets. Mum used to laugh at me as a child as Id ofyen get out at night to keep straightening and smoothing sheets and covers.
Scaredycat Hope your night is restful and you hear good news of your sister and GGs soon. I've more big hugs too. Here 🤗 x
Candy Im texting on my phone so cant go back to your post on previous page, without losing this post. I remember though your frustration at losing your message. How often Ive done the same and its so annoying so completely understand. Hope youre ok today. I remember my own son leaving home just after my mum died. He drove away, I came inside and broke my heart. It's never the same. They are forever in our hearts.
Take care everyone EllieAnne Whiff and all who read past and present. BD means so much to so many. May it always be so.

Doodle Fri 03-Feb-23 23:15:59

Sweetpeasue I think DHs cough could be something to do with all the meds he takes. His oxygen level seems ok tonight though. Yes it will be nice to see his BIL and SIL. We don’t meet up often so it’s good to catch up on family news.
Sleep tight. 😴

Ellie Anne Fri 03-Feb-23 23:29:43

Sweet pea sue I’m also wondering if I am to blame for not using the thread properly. I have so appreciated everyone s kindness and just getting to know people and sharing in their ups and downs.
I think about you often Annie and hope you are getting things sorted out now.

Sweetpeasue Fri 03-Feb-23 23:41:29

EllieAnne Be at peace. You're posts are what I believe BD is about. It's good to know our posts have helped you, even in the smallest way. Be reassured please. I think of you often and very much care for your v difficult and lonely situation. I wish you sincerely goodnight and God bless you. X

Doodle Fri 03-Feb-23 23:50:29

Ellie Anne please don’t worry. No one is “to blame”.
You post how you feel and that’s what we all do.
Please don’t worry and keep posting. We are here as we’ve always been. Sleep well x

loopyloo Sat 04-Feb-23 06:01:46

Well I find this thread very helpful to me and hope it continues on the same lines.
Chat can be very therapeutic.

Whiff Sat 04-Feb-23 06:32:20

Just wanted to pop in and say I still read everyday. The support and friendship you give everyone is amazing . All of you are going through such difficult times and yet you all help each and every person who posts.

This month it would have been my husband's 66th birthday,48 years since our first date and Monday 19 years since he died. But I haven't been upset this year. And that's thanks to all of you. Reading what you are going through makes think how lucky I was to have my husband for as long as I did and being loved and to love like we did some people never have that. I have a friend who never has. So our 29 years and married 22 has kept me going everyday since he took his last breath . He will be forever my husband and the love of my life ,the other half of me. He lives on in our daughter and son's and 5 grandson's DNA.

Thank you all for being so open . And am sorry you are going through tough times both mentally and physically and have the added worry of ill relatives and deaths of family and friends.

Keeping this thread alive helps far more people than you will ever know. So thank you all your are stronger than you think and your courage shines through. 💐💐💐💐💐

Wyllow3 Sat 04-Feb-23 08:21:37

Looking back Whiff I think that's the story of my mum's life.

Had a bad night, my subconscious was busy telling me I'd lost BD's: looking back to the first page, how would I have got through the divorced all the complex mixed feelings after abuse, and how its carried on through that horrible new years eve, and now my 2 week thingy: priceless.

Hello loopyloo nice to see you in and hear what you had to say.

What others have said, Ellie Anne x

Doodle hoping BIL and SIL visit will be warm and smiles had.
You asked about MiL's carer. He is her partner: she met him at - yes - 78! they used to only meet up 3 times a week but he is there virtually all the time now, tho 4 carers come in a day.

Planning to go to the gym later this morning and get some milk on the way home.

Candy I usually write my posts on the computer notepad first - didn't today, but it is reassuring, "I won't lose it"

May today be as gentle as it might for all.

I've got my date for the ultrasound, waiting for the "'oscopy", but it won't come at the weekend so I can let go of clutching my mobile everywhere I go.

HowVeryDareYou Sat 04-Feb-23 09:36:40

How is everyone this morning?

Hello, LoopyLou, chat IS therapeutic. Keep posting.

EllieAnne Hope your weekend goes as well as it can. The weather's better, so you'll perhaps go walking?

Doodle Your lunch sounds delicious.

SweetpeaSue Hope you're ok today. We're all here for each other, and we're friends who care for each other, whether during bad times or good.

ScaredyCat Hope your sister is getting on alright and that you get good news about your GGS soon.

Wyllow We're all friends here and we all share good and bad news. It's what friends do. Not long for your ultrasound, then, that's good. Will your sister be able to go with you?

I ached a lot last night. I must start getting more exercise so that I get used to working again. Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day x

Doodle Sat 04-Feb-23 10:39:51

loopyloo I hope you know you are always welcome to post here. I’m glad you find it helpful.
Dear Whiff your story is so lovely. Your DH must have meant the world to you. You are right, some never have that but I’m glad that you did and have happy memories.
Thank you for your post. x
Wyllow we are still here so panic not, you haven’t lost anything. Ah I understand now about your MiLs carer. How nice they get on with each other and have that companionship.
Hope you get your tests done soon then you can relax a bit.
Have a good day.
HVDY it’s possible you were using other muscles in your work yesterday which is why you ache. Hope it wears off over the weekend. Doing anything nice?
Sweetpeasue and Ellie Anne hope you are ok. Ellie Anne I know weekends are harder for you. Hope the weather is mild and you can get out a bit.
Scaredycat thinking very much of you and your worries.

Wyllow3 Sat 04-Feb-23 14:38:41

Bests with the "more exercise" HVDY! What do you like exercise wise? I'm lucky having had my beloved yoga since I was 25 because its a "lifelong thing".

Ex rung while I was at the gym and moaned about this that and the other - blamed everyone but him for his circs, and I just out the phone down after I got the "you can't take a joke" line. What a waste of my time I thought, but it certainly helps with separation.

I just got so cross with him as he moaned about his MH support and b hell the man is lucky to get it at all and makes no effort to go halfway towards them. The only reason, as far as I can discern, and know him well, is because he doesn't take his meds properly - but he's playing them.

The ultrasound is straightforward, I just will need someone to help out with after the colonoscopy, you are sedated and can't go home alone. Work in progress once I get a date.

Hoping you don't have to face that lady tomorrow, Ellie Anne, and Scaredycat any news about sis is better, the pain gives you a day off Sweetpeasue" and *Doodle its good with family, and thinking of Cindy and Whiff and all other BD's.

Whiff Sat 04-Feb-23 15:27:36

As you love yoga Wyllow I just finished putting a cushion cover together for my friend who's husband died in November. Hopefully it will make her smile as she loves yoga and going to the gym. I took a close up of the cross stitch. The cover will take a 16" x 16" cushion inner. Hope it makes you smile to.

Wyllow3 Sat 04-Feb-23 16:43:05

Superb (not to mention vv high achieving!) cushion whiff.

HowVeryDareYou Sat 04-Feb-23 17:01:06

Doodle Hope your lunch went well. My hamstrings ache today but I'll get used to it.

Wyllow3 I used to like Zumba (not quick enough to do it now) but I might start going to Zumba Gold again (did it last year for a while). I think you did right to hang up on your ex - he sounds as though he likes to play the victim. Not taking his meds will do him no good. Not your problem though, you need to look after yourself.

Whiff What a fabulous cushion cover! You've got a talent there.

Wyllow3 Sat 04-Feb-23 19:36:32

I always think the Zumba gold classes look great fun HVDY go for it. Sometimes in the privacy of my own home after an afternoon snooze Radio 2 has an irresistible tune but I've only the oooompf for 2 songs atm.

what I'd like to be able to do is walk outside more, but my agoraphobia is rather active atm. That's OK for now lets see how the tests pan out - also I'm fortunate enough to have an appointment on CFS on the 20th.

Doodle Sat 04-Feb-23 19:50:11

Wyllow your ex sounds as though he doesn’t help himself. Not taking his meds is serious stuff. No wonder he gets so stressed. You are right he is lucky to have support.
Hope you find someone to go with you for the colonoscopy.
Whiff hat a wonderful cushion cover. You are very clever to do that. Your friend will be delighted I’m sure.
HVDY we did have a nice time with DHs BIL and SIL. DH was proudly showing off his new Rollator you would think it was a sports car 🤣
I can remember you going to Zumba gold. You are good to exercise. I would have trouble moving at all.
Sweetpeasue hope you’re ok. You too Scaredycat

Sweetpeasue Sat 04-Feb-23 20:36:01

Loopyloo So pleased you find this thread is helpful. Feel free to post if ever you feel like doing so.
Whiff Its always lovely to read your posts. They just feel so warm and natural. Your relationship with your late husband sounds so special and your love for him so evident in your posts. You are a brave lady to go through what you have and your positivity makes myself feel lucky. Thankyou for your kindness to us all.
I love the crosstitch design, beautiful. I showed it to DH and he said 'they're' real women too' (think he meant no Jane Fonda types!) lol.
Doodle Thankyou so much for your encouragement and support. You are so kind to us all. I hope you have a lovely time with your bil and wife today. Also that your husband is not too bad and can take pleasure from their visit. I took my auntie to garden centre this morning then to supermarket.
Wyllow I'm sorry ex's phone call was annoying. Glad you didn't stand any nonsense. Hope it never spoilt the peace of your yoga session. You've been practising it for a long time, you must be an expert. Ever thought of teaching it? Thanks, pain made an appearance this morning but just uncomfortable at moment. Hope you're not too bad today.
HVDY Sounds like you did so much work yesterday and muscles rebelling. Dont know a lot about Zumba but what Ive seen looked v fast. Is Zumba Gold a gentler Zumba then? I used to do a step class (remember those) and a dance class where we learnt modern 'routines' - way 'back in the day'. Dance attire was leotard and lycra leggings! Eat your heart out Jane Fonda. 😂 Hope youre ok today. Can you soak in epsom salts bath or something?
EllieAnne How are you? I hope your weekend isnt too bad. Also that you find some comfort from church tomorrow if you are going.
Wyllow Loved your May today be as gentle as it might for all Thankyou.

Hoping everyone has a calm and peaceful night.

Thinking of you ScaredycatCindy and all other BDs. X

Sweetpeasue Sat 04-Feb-23 20:47:06

Doodle Missed your post, then had to look up Rollater. I knew you said your husband had got something to help him with walking but hadnt realised exactly what it was. I do hope his legs and confidence walking will be much improved. He must geel so much better walking in the freash air.
Something happened today with my DH that I dont think is right but he wouldnt go to a walk in centre. Begged, pleaded- he would not. I'm having another try tomorrow. X

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