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Non Immunised grandchild

(64 Posts)
NotSpaghetti Wed 14-Dec-22 17:44:21

Quokka is correct in that this baby is really only presumably different to vaccinated one-year-olds as regards the diseases vaccinated against by age 1.

For all the usual stuff (and covid) they will be exactly the same as every vaccinated infant!

I don't understand why you are so against this. I would feel let down (like your son) on this one...
It sounds like you will never see this child if that's how you feel and can't get over it.

Obviously common sense says nobody who is ill should be mixing at Christmas, or anytime really, but I'm sure you wouldn't get together if you had flu or a cold would you?

pandapatch Wed 14-Dec-22 17:41:57

Not sure why having a medical/scientific background means you can't change your mind?
But presumably everyone else is vaccinated and unlikely to pass on any of the illnesses the baby would have been vaccinated against, especially if they are not allowed to hold her.
How old is she?
It seems surprising they want to attend a large gathering if they never take the baby out?

VioletSky Wed 14-Dec-22 17:39:31

It doesn't seem like they will back down

My concern is you risk cutting them off from family love and support

I'm pro vax and I understand your worries but aren't you all likely immune from those things?

It's devastating, I had an aunt who said she would pay me not to vaccinate. I did it anyway. We don't talk now as I have a child who is autistic and she blamed me. My daughter was different from birth

Cold Wed 14-Dec-22 17:28:26

How old is the baby?

If it's the first Christmas they wouldn't be fully vaccinated anyway would they?

luluaugust Wed 14-Dec-22 17:09:43

I am so sorry you are in this position, presumably your son was vaccinated and so were most of the children he grew up with. The problem with this is that they really have no idea how bad the childhood illnesses can be, not necessarily death nowadays but sight or hearing problems it does rely on the majority having the vaccines to protect them. The cases of diphtheria show that like other childhood illnesses these diseases are just waiting for their chance. I wonder why they want to take a risk when there is a solution.

You can only stick to your guns or completely change your mind, I think I might have left the choice to them

M0nica Wed 14-Dec-22 16:54:29

Quoka This child hasn't had any vaccinations. it could pick up all or any of these or none or something else.

Given how controlled and sterilised this child's life seems to be, I would just not risk it. It seems everyone is travelling by public transport and I would be very aware that if the baby was to get anything, even just a mild dose of snuffles, you would undoubtedly be blamed, for insisting they came to you.

When you visit them, wear a mask.

Our first grand child suffered from night terrors from a very young age and my memory of her first Christmas, is of getting no sleep. She would start screaming in her sleep and gradually wake herself up. It was as if she was in a trance, either way, dare I say it was a relief when she went home, though my sympathy for her parents was profound

sodapop Wed 14-Dec-22 16:26:28

I agree with Norah the first Christmas is important to the grandparents but not for the baby. You need to respect the parents in this instance, it's not worth causing a rift over.
I'm sorry you will not have the Christmas you envisaged, at least you will see them at some point over Christmas.

Norah Wed 14-Dec-22 16:14:44

I'm sorry.

Maybe consider "Baby first Christmas" not important in life scheme? Apart from the noise of extra people, she won't know Christmas from yesterday.

We're not hold and pass baby pass around GP, so there's that. Small consolation, but first Christmas is dull at best.

Our GC and GGC weren't really Christmas oriented until around 3 years.

Any cajoling her parents? Possible estrangement. Not worth it.

BlueBelle Wed 14-Dec-22 15:28:28

If I can just add a positive thought to your concerns
I was vaccinated against NOTHING until I was 20 years old and had the lot to go overseas to a tropical country I had a fairly normal and healthy childhood and I never thought to ask my mum why I had had no vaccinations
I think it’s far more worrying that this poor child has no interactions with others doesn’t get taken out and no one’s allowed to hold her poor poor child hopefully she ll grow up rebellious and run and hug all and sundry
Well as you say you cant change your mind there really seems little point in asking on here I don’t think any of my relatives avoided me as a child
What do you think you will give her surely it’s her parents business as to who she comes into contact with and if they re happy to come to you why wouldn’t you go with that

Quokka Wed 14-Dec-22 15:00:54

What are you likely to pass onto them from the following list

diphtheria
tetanus
pertussis (whooping cough)
polio
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib)
hepatitis B
rotavirus
meningococcal group B disease (MenB)
These will be given as 2 injections and drops into the mouth.

At 12 weeks, your baby will have immunisations against:

diphtheria
tetanus
pertussis (whooping cough)
polio, Hib
hepatitis B
pneumococcal disease
rotavirus
These will be given as 2 injections and drops into the mouth.

At 16 weeks, your baby will have immunisations against:

diphtheria
tetanus
pertussis (whooping cough) *polio
Hib
hepatitis B
MenB
These will be given as 2 injections.

1.2 Immunisations your baby will have at 1 year of age
Your baby will have immunisations against:

Hib/Meningococcal group C (MenC)
MenB
measles, mumps, rubella (MMR)
pneumococcal disease

GrannyGravy13 Wed 14-Dec-22 14:57:00

One of mine didn’t have any vaccinations till they were nearly 6 years old, they didn’t catch bugs or anything else anymore than my others who were vaccinated from babies.

Escudo Wed 14-Dec-22 14:56:38

Unfortunately it’s not that simple. The baby rarely goes out, no one is allowed to hold the baby either. It’s quite worrying as there isn’t an opportunity for the natural immunity to build either. Plus three of us have low immunity. it’s just getting worse the more I write here

BigBertha1 Wed 14-Dec-22 14:48:29

Mmm tough one. I share your view about vaccines but presumably they take this child with them in public anyway. You say you cant change your minds but couldn't you bend a little and let them stay but put in some extra precautions to protect the little one?

Escudo Wed 14-Dec-22 14:40:02

What a mess I’m in!

My first grandchild has her first Christmas and hasn’t had any vaccines at all. I understand it’s their choice, but I was so hoping they would be spending Christmas with us. None of us feel we want to take the risk of passing on anything. We are gathering from all over the Uk and will be travelling be public transport. We feel way too responsible and couldn’t cope with knowing we could have exposed them to something. I told my son and he’s so upset, I totally understand why, but he and his partner have very different views on this and they don’t really understand our point of view.. their relationship isn’t great, but I feel I’m letting them down. I will see them on my own at their place (if they will still have me) . I feel so torn and hurt, im sure they do too. Any suggestions on how to repair this?

We have medical/scientific backgrounds so we can’t change our minds