Black Dog 15

ScaredyCat Sorry you're not much better, hope it doesn't go on for much longer. Sorry about your GS. Poor little boy.
Hopefully, the condition can be managed with dietary changes.

Candy6 Oh no. I think some schools here were close, too. It's a shame your pasta dish wasn't to everyone's liking. Did you have to cook something else?

SweetpeaSue Glad your counselling went well. Good news about the tooth, too. I hope you won't need painkillers again tonight. Oramorph can make some people feel odd. Last evening and night, my feet and lower legs felt as though they were on fire (internally, not to touch), I didn't know what to do with myself. I slept with them uncovered. They're not as bad today.

Nadateturbe, EllieAnne, Whiff, Doodle, hope you're ok.

I'll be going to bed earlier tonight - last night was horrible with his snoring and I was awake for 2 hours, listening to it. He'll be in Son2's bed tonight (he's away at his GF's). Hope everone on BD has a restful night x

HVDY It's comforting to be inside when its very cold and I realise how lucky we are to be able to be warm these days. It's so disgusting the energy bills. I'm glad you're not too anxious about the Vasculitis but hope your feet and lower legs aren't causing you too much pain. Its been snowing here today and it's been forecast the last couple of days but no significant falls and its so strange the south and midlands have had it before us in the North-East. Think its meant to hit us tonight and tomorrow.
Whiff I followed you with the lost messages. Really is pants.
Candy I print my messages out on GN under everyones posts. If I email them do I need to do that on my email page? As you can see Im an absolute numbskull with techy stuff. Ive never copied and pasted anything. What a day you've had. Youve really had the runaround. Thankyou for caring. You're right being ill can put us in a lonely place and I think we've all found ourselves in that place here for whatever reason. Its not easy and often feels impossible to share that with our own family, Ive found.
Wyllow Oh no, what a night - up 8 times, your poor tummy. I'm not surprised you've needed a dressing gown day. It leaves anyone exhausted but especially taking into account the CFS. Your bedroom view sounds lovely. It does make all the difference if there's some countryside to look out onto. Good BD hadnt visited when you posted - may it continue as long as possible. Hope your back isnt too bad today.
Doodle So sorry you weren't relieved of a bad night. I can understand you feeling cautious of the new drug if it has some nasty adverse effects. I'm sure any good Dr is careful about letting the patient have good input in deciding on the medication they want to take these days. You can always change your mind at any time if your DH doesnt get any better. I do feel for you both. Sometimes it feels like we're treading water but we keep going until we reach shallower waters where our feet can find the ground. Hope that doesnt sound silly! Thnking of you.
Scaredycat Looks as if you are both having a bad time with this covid virus. It seems to affect everyone differently and I hope it will leave you soon. I'm sorry about your little DGS. It must be so hard watching a child with illness. My cousin had Crohns and her mum too. My cousin somehow 'grew out of it' so hope it's the same for your DGS but I know everyone is affected in different ways.

Needed painkillers again during night with uterus and bladder pain. By the time I got to sleep (DH snoring just as painkiller kicked in) I had such a weird dream-the ones where you feel you're re awake-and when I came to I couldnt believe it had been a dream at all. Sort of a dream paralysis. Might have been the oramorph. Anyway been fine today. Had heavy counselling session and the hr went very quickly. She so understands the level of violation Ive felt/feel with Drs involved in deception. Also the toll on relationship. My tooth is fine today which is wonderful. I really didnt think Id make it the day before.
Hope Ive not left anyone out. Thinking of you all and hoping everyone is ok Nadateturbeand EllieAnne Wishing all a peaceful night and mind. X
.

Evening all! What a day! Firstly, I took DGS to school and it was shut. Because he’s fairly new there, they haven’t added my daughter to the mailing list so she didn’t get the notification to say it was shut. It’s only just up the road thankfully but we still had to get up and out which was totally unnecessary. Then I took him to his swimming lesson later this afternoon and the same thing happened! I’ve told her to double check she’s on their lists for the future. Lastly, I made a new pasta dish this evening and no one really liked it as it was too spicy. I just give up! Anyway I hope everyone has had a better day.
HVDY your dinner sounded lovely and was obviously more successful than mine! I’m glad you’re not anxious about your condition and hope your legs are feeling better. I hope the diuretics help your DH.
Wyllow I’m so jealous of your sister! I would absolutely love some alpacas! No chance though as we don’t have the space. I’ve done alpaca walking though and loved it. Thank you for your kind wishes for me to be more at peace at home. I’ll get there hopefully and I’m glad you have made peace with yours after your ex. It’s so important I think that we see our homes as our safe spaces. Your home sounds lovely with such a nice view. I’m glad the black dog is keeping at bay and hope it continues to do so.
Doodle sorry last night wasn’t so good for you. I think you’re both wise though to take time to think about the new meds for your DH. I’ve been doing Pilates for about 18 months. I became aware that I needed to try and keep flexible and just trying to prolong the onset of old age really. Not sure I’m succeeding though. The class is at my gym and the only one I’m doing at the moment but I’m aware I really need to do more. Time and motivation is much needed.
JPB123 Welcome. It’s nice to have you on board.
Whiff and Sweetpeasue I feel your pain regarding your lost messages. I’ve done that a few times. I think the idea of writing a draft email then copying and pasting is a good one and one I really should use.
Scaredycat sorry you’re still unwell. Surely it should pass soon I hope. Stay warm and get plenty of rest. So sorry about your GGS. Crohn’s is an unpredictable disease but can be managed with the right help. It’s what my DS has and although his is severe, others can have it and not know they’ve got it so hopefully your GGS will be one of those. I wish him well.
Thinking of everyone and hoping you all have a restful evening. Take care all xx

Hi All- both still feeling like a pile of pants and no energy whatsoever. Wish it would go away.
Welcome JPB123 good to have you with us.
Just heard that my GGS has been diagnosed with Crohns - poor little soul. So much to deal with .
Have read all posts but just too tired I,m so sorry . Love to allxxxx

I just cant believe it! Its one of those days. Like Whiff I've just lost a message thats taken me 50 mins to compose. Feel like crying/shouting. Oh dear, better come back later. Id messages for you all too. Just want to leave a message of welcome to
JPB123. You are most welcome. We all share whatever we feel we want to here.

Welcome, * JPB123.*

Wyllow3 It sounds very picturesque where you are.

Doodle I think your husband is wise to keep off the meds unless absolutely essential.

DH had a GP appointment today but cancelled it because of the weather (no point in going out unless really necessary). GP rang him instead and is starting him on diuretics whilst he's waiting for hospital appointments.

Hope everyone is alright today x

Welcome JPB123.

Doodle I agree, you know your own bodies best of all and have no doubt writhed everything up goodness knows how many times!

Been going down Memory Lane with u tube glad no "to do's".
Keep waiting for the black dog to appear, but he's laying off atm.

JPB123 you are most welcome to join us whenever you like.
Although we may all seem to know a lot about each other we were all new to this thread at one time and any and all are welcome. We have all sorts of issues here but do our best to support each other. How are you today?
Sweetpeasue thank you. Not such a good night last night but we did get by. The Gp wants DH to take some medication we aren’t happy with. DH and I both feel it has adverse effects although it may produce the benefit the GP wants. Difficult to decide what to do for the best. Don’t usually ignore gPs advice but we want to try a few days without the problem medication to see if DHs legs improve.
Glad things are improving for you.
You were very brave at the dentist. That rubber dam thing is awful and I have real panic attacks with it. At least that’s over now and hopefully things will settle without being painful.
Hope you had a better night now that the dreaded dentist trip was over.
Candy you had a busy day. Have you been doing Pilates for a long time? Wish I’d taken it up years ago but at the time my asthma was bad and I couldn’t do much in the way of anything energetic.
Shame you are not keen on your job but as it’s only 2 days a week I can see why you keep it going. Caravans are expensive to maintain. We had one once too.
Wyllow hope your back is better today. Your winter wonderland sounds lovely. I do like a snowy scene.
Stay snug and warm inside if I were you.
HVDY that’s what my DH has in his legs too. In his case it caused lack of balance and shuffling feet as he can’t lift his legs up. I think it affects different people different ways.
Yours does sound painful. Hope you get to be seen soon.
I hope your DH did the washing up too. 🤣
Have a nice cosy day at home and rest those legs.
Whiff I do hate it when you go to the trouble of writing a message and then lose it. So annoying. Look forward to hearing from you later.
Scaredycat I hope you are feeling better today, have you tested negative yet? Hope your GGS is ok. Any news of his scan yet?

Doodle

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues. All are welcome.

This is so good to know about….just found you.

Had an..interesting night...visits to loo about 8 times, no idea why, so am glad its like a winter wonderland pretty outside and warm house and cleaner who has been, my bedroom faces south with a view and downstairs living room is north facing with view of hedge, so guess where.

HVDY, ah, so you have had treatment information, that's really good.

So frustrating! Whiff best wishes your way.

Candy. Sorry, I missed your post. Thanks for your concern. I'm not anxious now, as I know whatever I've got can be managed with drugs.

Wyllow3 You're right, it's so important to be comfortable at home - that's why I have the heating on all day - and to be with people who accept us for who we are.

How is everyone this morning? The day centre has been cancelled (someone rang me yesterday), so I'm staying at home, all nice and cosy. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Well that was pants wrote a long message and my shaking hands lost it. Will try again later.

Oh Doodle! Thank god for a better night I so wanted to hear that. Although it is worrying about MrD it is reassuring that the GP's are really on to it. I don't know how you feel about admission, I guess its a case of needs must and safest options.

Yes I like looking at the snow feeling all cosy inside, we are due another day of it tomorrow - its so local - sis in Devon says they've had their bit. (she has 6 alpacas to look after!)

Sweetpeasue well done, given your current situation, for just making it to the dentist. Of course you are now afraid of everything/anything "might happen., only natural.

Candy I think for most of us some sedation is welcome especially help with sleep. My wish for you next is for that haunted feeling of home being a difficult place gradually eases. All I can say it, that it is my experience that it does but takes time.
Living in a place associated with pain isnt overcome easily...And if it helps to have ideas of moving well why not - they are after all coping strategies for possibilities as well as "alternative realities". the whole of last year for me has partly been about can I outlive Ex associations here and really - I mostly have. But escapist thoughts about moving to family or an easy flat have actually helped a lot so go for it.

Well as to Ex's stuff I'll see how it settles but what people say above - more evidence am doing right things. but heck, would have liked to have known that last year when was being lectured about loyalty hey? As to back and yoga, my knowledge is helpful as to what to do not to do. Tomorrow my cleaner comes and is fine with a lady in dressing gown she's a sweetheart am very lucky -and lucky to be able to pay for her to tho I rarely go out best choices definitely to be comfy at home hey.

Thinking of all the regulars and the readers may pains of all kinds be kind to us

Wyllow The back pain sounds painful. Is it muscular or nerve like Sciatica? Fancy that about your ex - the damned cheek of him. The doctor today said they'd get an urgent referral, within 2 weeks. By feet and lower legs feel as though they're burning and prickled. The Consultant gave me a number to ring in an emergency, if the symptoms get worse.

Doodle Great news about your sleep last night. I hope you both continue to sleep better. Fingers crossed that your husband's new tablets help and that he improves soon. The 2 Consultants today think I've got some peripheral neuropathy, which can be caused by Vasculitis. We'll see.

SweetpeaSue I'm so pleased your pain and bleeding are a lot less. So it went well at the dentist - that's good news. I'm not worried about my legs etc now (it can be treated), but my feet and lower legs are very uncomfortable - I've got bare feet and keep putting them in a bowl of cold water. It's rubbish getting older

DH cooked the dinner (I prepared it). Roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes and 5 vegetables. He and Son1 have walked to the pub for a pint. Son2 didn't want to go, so he's been talking me to death . Hope all BDers have a relaxing evening x

Evening all. Didn’t post yesterday as I was in work all day, went to Pilates, walked the dog then went straight to bed as I was shattered. I think the ADs do make me a bit sleepy which is no bad thing and I’m grateful for that.
Sweetpeasue I’m sorry you are still struggling with the bleeding. I think being ill can put us in a lonely place but please know that you’re not alone and we do care. You’re not weak either but poorly and I’m sure your family will understand that. I hope your dental treatment went well today.
Doodle yes, I’m definitely one of those people who don’t cope with change very well. You asked if I liked my job and I think the truthful answer would have to be no I don’t. It’s a means to an end. When I took early retirement nearly 5 years ago I really thought that was what I wanted and I was fine for a while but then I started to feel lost so I started to look for other things. It’s one of my coping mechanisms and the money comes in handy to pay for our caravan. It’s only 2 days a week so I put up with it. I hope the new meds are helping your DH and hope they’re not keeping him up too much. I can understand you’re worried too. It’s awful when a loved one is poorly and you just seem powerless. You seem like you are very close and I’m sure you are a great comfort and support to him. Sometimes it’s all we can do just to be there.
Wyllow it’s good to know I’m not alone in not liking change. Thank you. You were lucky to see your GP so quickly. It’s good to hear good things about the NHS as there’s so much negativity surrounding it at the moment. Sorry your counselling zoom didn’t go well. How disappointing and disrespectful of your ex asking someone else out while you were still together. It just proves what he is. I hope you’ve processed the news now and you’ve reached a level of acceptance over it. Please try not to let it eat you up and make you sad. I realise this may be difficult though.
HVDY No, I don’t live down south although I sometimes think I would like to. I’m on the North Wales/Cheshire border. Not snowing here at the moment although it’s forecast. Hope your beef in the slow cooker went well and both your sons enjoyed it. It’s good that you’ve seen someone already regarding the vasculitis although it must be an anxious time for you. Try not to worry too much. Drugs for auto immune diseases have come on so much in recent years and there’s a lot out there. I hope things go well for you.
Scaredycat hope your covid symptoms have eased. I did a test today as I woke up with a raspy throat and one of the friends I was out with at the weekend has tested positive. It was negative thankfully.

Hope all are ok. Love and best wishes to all including those not mentioned personally xx

Doodle Sorry, I missed your post. I want to put the flags out for your good sleep but not too soon. Crossed fingers for tonight too. It really sounds as if the GP and staff at surgery are being very helpful and are treating you DH's problems seriously. I hope the appt with the cardiologist comes soon and he will get the trestment he needs. If it can be sorted, some of his other problems might be relieved too. I'm sure you will be worried as we all would be. At the same time you must be glad that the medical professionals are going to get to the root of his problems and be able to help him. Take care of yourselves. X

Oh dear! That performance at Dentist sounds like something from a Carry on sketch.

HVDY I hope you will see the Neurologist soon as you're going to be wondering about what type of Vasculitis it might be, if indeed it turns out to be that. You could do without the worry when your DH has been poorly. I hope his cough is not as bad.
Wyllow Ouch! That sounds painful. Usually when that ping or twang happens it can be a pulled muscle or ligament and it takes a while to heal. Im guessing a lot of yoga moves will be difficult or impossible. How annoying, all by avoiding the snow. I'm so sorry that you believe your ex has been disloyal while you were together. That must hurt enormously and it does sound likely from what you have said. I think you are well rid of him, I just hope he will leave you alone now for you to rebuild your life.
Doodle I hope your night wasn't as bad as they have been, though the diuretics could have kept DH busy. Are they starting to work on his swollen legs or is that expecting results too soon?

Uterus pain almost gone and bleeding has slowed down. Just as well, I thought Id have to cancel long jorney to dentist and long 2hr appt. Rubber dam thing was horrible at first, he had to take it off straight away as I wasn't expecting it to be like that. Dentist was so gentle and assured me that if he tried it on again I could take it off. I did and I managed. I know it's silly but I'm so worried now that anything I have will go wrong. Left with bank acc lot lighter. Told to expect some pain when numbness wears off while nerves settle. The actual procedure was not painful only a long time to be in chair. So relieved I made it.

Hope evetyone is coping and are ok.

Wyllow I’ve been sitting in my armchair watching the snow this morning. I’m one of those people who love snow (to look at). I love watching snowflakes fall. So quiet and gentle. No so gentle when you have a heavy snow fall or are homeless though. Such a cold night.
Sorry about your back pain. My dear SIL suffered from a very bad back. She used to find laying on her back on the floor with knees bent and moving the knees from side to side helped.
It’s good someone has experience of your Ex apart from you and can confirm what he’s like. What a nerve he has.
HVDY good thing you’ve been followed up so quickly. That is good. I hope they find out what is causing your rash soon. DH had a nerve conduction test, that’s where they found he had peripheral neuropathy.
Sweetpeasue thank you. How have you been today?
Scaredycat hope you are beginning to feel a little better today. How is your DH doing?
Well I have some good news for a change…….we have slept !
We went to bed at 8pm last night and with the exception of 1 hour about 2pm, we slept until 9 am. Feel so much better today.
Had phone call from GP wanting us round at the surgery asap for tests. DH had another ECG . We have avoided admission at the moment but it may still be on the cards as they think DHs problems are all related to heart function. We have more tablets to take and have to report back to GP if DH doesn’t start to improve soon. GP referring back to cardiologist for advice.
They were so nice at the surgery. Staff and doctors and nurses so kind to DH . We may try and early night again tonight but not counting our chickens 🐓 😊

I'm glad to hear they are really "onto it" HVDY Very impressive! Any idea of time scale fro neurologist? I did google the condition and it's clear its worrying but enormas variations so you'll want to know asap.

Went to gym had to wait to collect meds in snowstorm, so sat in empty cafe cos of snow, lovely toasted T cake). Had been sitting twisted, not good chair and ping!

..back stuck pain waves but have handled it before (first time it happened I lay on the floor not knowing what to do, but have got strategies, like ministry of silly walks and rubbing hard and wiggles. But really should carry tramadol round as then one can sit and wait. Forsee not much activity for tomorrow good excuse not to do much as it just needs rest/ice/arnica.

Anyway that wasn't the news of the day. I was following my quietly telling women working at the gym about Ex and threats etc etc
And one of them told me that Ex had come onto her last year pressurising and asking her out.

It was before we had split up

(Well thats going to go round the gym now as it really takes the biscuit... I'll probably know better what my feelings are when it sinks in as believe me he reached loyalty above all like never talk about him etc etc.)

Waves all...

Hello all, how's everyone doing? I had a thorough check-up at the hospital. Blood and urine tests, chest x-ray, and was seen by 3 different Rheumatology Consultants. They can't decide whether the rash on my feet and legs is Vasculitis, although they suspect it is. They're arranging an appointment for me to see a Neurologist and have some nerve function tests done, so no treatment until they know more.

HVDY it can be sheer luck - worried GP, decides to ring, consultant finds a slot, in the day, just saying, don't think The Worst overnight (easy to say hard to do see said!)

(But upfront warning.....dont be surprised if slowing down a bit and less stress feature in a talk is all....)

Wyllow3 Yes, that's true. I can't believe the speed of it all . Marvellous service.

SweetpeaSue Thank you. The NHS, in this instance, really is wonderful.

ScaredyCat Hope you and your husband are feeling a bit better.

Whiff, EllieAnne, all on BD hope you all manage to get a decent night's sleep x

HVDY That really is amazing care and attention. I'm not surprised you're all 6s n 7s emotionally though. Such a lot to happen from a blood test. Thank goodness you dont have to wait too long. I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow. Its good they're being thorough. x
Doodle Oh I do feel for you. It must be so awful to watch the person you love having so much to deal with and you both keep battling on against what seems to be constant waves of health problems. You will be exhausted and feel anxious right now.
This latest concern that's 'come out of the blue' will hopefully feel a little less daunting tomorrow but I wish you could both get a decent night of sleep. Sending love and a little hug back. x
Wyllow The rest will do you good Im sure. You will know your body and what it needs by now. Counselling sessions can be much hard work when we're feeling tired let alone with CFS. Needed painkiller in early hrs but tried to do without for ages which just worked me up into a very upset state of helplessness. Just didnt want bowel to start up before tomorrow, as need it to keep quiet and stable in dentist chair. Afternoon has been much better.
ScaredycatHope youve both had some improvement and are beginning to feel a little better.

Thinking of all on BD and hoping you all have the best night possible.

HVDY Likely is proper due caution, but its good its an over night wait for you not days, all the same.