Black Dog 15

Wyllow I missed you. Im so sorry for your sadness. Its strange but I find sadness feels worse in sunlight yet easier in rain. Hope there was satisfaction getting admin out the way. That's so true about reading GN.
My elderly aunt rang this morning. It's getting difficult as she's lonely but dont think she's remembering seeing regular visitors.
Had some low searing pain but not too bad thanks. I determined not to stop it letting me walk. I saw the one-legged Sanderling again! Along such a long stretch of coastline I find that amazing. Definitely same one-how odd. There it was, hopping really quickly. If I wasnt such a rational person(I really am, honest) Id think there was a message for me somewhere. Hope you're comfortable tummy-wise. Thinking of you.

Hi all.
SweetPeaSue- I,m glad you got to the beach yesterday- such wonderful therapy. The little one legged bird sound#can bit like us all- persevering as best we can. A little 3 legged cat lives near us and it is the happiest soul and has adapted son well. They are lucky though they don’t have our overactive thoughts.
I dont know how to help you with the mental stress over your past treatment. Maybe as the counsellor suggests writing it all down in a more personal less factual way could get your feelings on paper and then maybe just putting them away.
I used to write a lot after what happened to my family and it did help. I didn’t keep the writing though it helped just doing it. It’s good how you have let it go a bit lately- shows you are a bit stronger. Sending a hug
Doodle- our surgery works like yours does - we are lucky.
So sorry you had yet another dreadful night - your poor DH he has so much to endure - as do you. I had no idea RLS could be so debilitating. We too were up as my DH has had a terrible cough for a while so couldn’t sleep at all.
I hope the physio goes well today - he will be tired afterwards I bet.
No news yet re my sister- probably will come in the night BiL is a night owl.
Wyllow- glad the procedure went fairly smoothly after the initial mistake. Thank goodness they carried it out after all those arrangements you had to make not to mention the evil prep you have to take. I,ve had a CT colonoscopy - it will be fine.
Wow 9:hours sleep- that must have done you good.
You are so right about my sister - we always FaceTime every week but she is not up to that at the moment.
HVDY- how frustrating for your DH not being able to see anyone til Friday. Hope that GP gets their act together and helps him with compassion. The added stress of No earnings is not good for him either- or you.
Your telephone friends must look forward to your calls- I know I would.
We had a nice meal together last night. They are such a sweet couple and ate everything!! Somebody had reversed into my GD car in the afternoon and driven off - what a piece of work. Luckily someone saw and had all the details for her. So sorry for her she loves that little car.
Hope you enjoyed Aqua Aerobics and your lunch. Your Mondays sound like fun.
EllieAnne,Whiff,Candy, Joanne and all I have missed and all who just visit hope you have a peaceful eveningxx

HVDY Shame about that job call. I'm you will find one soon with your past substantial experience. V good luck with Friday's appt.My husband 's BP still high but the headache has gone which is good. He is lucky compared to poor Mr D. We have been for walk on beach. That poor lady you are' befriending '. Getting older can be so hard and loneliness so isolating.

I had another sleep. and woke with the sun streaming in feeling so very sad because 2 years ago despite all I'd have been out cycling with Ex and not post abuse divorce exhausted. Those were the good bits, always. But heaved ho for some admin.

Well, these feelings are inevitable. and it doesn't take a lot of reading and joining in on gransnet to realise that...on our best days try to count blessings and live in the present despite all.

HVDY good plan there for Friday. Phone appointments can be so useless - go for it! You befriending call sounds a bit like my v elderly quaker contact -death is all around as she lives in one of those heavy support flat blocks. Makes one think about future choices, hey?

~~~~~~~~Sweetpeasue hope today is OK, ~~~~~ to all BD's.

SweetpeaSue I'm going to the doctor's with him on Friday. I'll ask for him to be referred to hospital for lung function tests, but that will likely be ages (he's had the cough for about 4 months, saw a GP 3 weeks ago). To be honest, we can't afford for him to keep being at home. He does absolutely nothing all day apart from making a cup of tea twice a day. He's currently dozing on the settee. How's your husband?

How has everyone's day been? I had a call about a job I'd applied for - it was advertised as being around this way, but after 15 minutes of answering questions, the lady said the clients were all on the other side of town (about 30mins from me - 40mins in rush-hour traffic). Time-wasters.

I did my telephone befriending call - the lady said there was "death all around" - 3 of her friends have died in the past few months. All in their 90s

Doodle Oh that's terrible. You will both be worn out both physically and mentally. It's no less than torturous now. I never realised that RLS could ne so bad until you first decribed your DHs symptoms. I hope you both managed a rest today. Sorry but do you have another appt coming up with that London specialist? I wish there was something I could suggest. You will be past yourself as to what you can do. Could there be a different med for his breathing? I'm sufe you've covered all possibile solutions but hope there's something else that Dr can help with. ❤️
Wyllow Glad you have that over with and theres nothing untoward in large bowel. It really wouldn't have been acceptible for the procedure to not go ahead after them making such a mistake with the bookings-not least because of the prep youve gone through and organising your son to take you. Dont feel guilty if thos fairies dont return. You must have needed that good sleep.
HVDY What bad news for you this morning. Surely that GP must do something for your husband on Friday! Its so bad he's not being helped at all. Its extremely difficult to get seen F2F but your husband needs his lungs examined or listened to at the very least. Hope the Aqua-Aerobics was a release and your lunch afterwards.

Doodle How awful. You must both be shattered. Does your husband have the RLS during the daytime? I hope you can both catch up a bit by having a nap this afternoon. My DH has already got a face-to-face appointment on Friday, with the GP he saw a couple of weeks ago (and who was useless).

Oh Doodle love I'm so very sorry.
You are a loving star in his life, please find some recharging for you.

Wyllow good that your results were fine. I hope you get the call for the CTcolonoscopy soon and perhaps some answers to your problems.
HVDY did you book a telephone appointment? In our surgery, we have to book a telephone appointment but say we would prefer to have face to face. If the GP then agrees we get a call to go into surgery. Sorry I’ve forgotten has he got an appointment on Friday?
You’ve got a busy day planned. Hope you enjoy it.
We had a dreadful night. DH’s new meds which have helped his breathing have played havoc with his RLS. We were up in the night walking round the lounge together me holding his hand as he was so tired he had his eyes shut and was almost sleepwalking. Just shows how strong the RLS symptoms are that they override exhaustion too.

Wyllow I'm applying for jobs (care work). I've been doing the befriending thing for about a year. 9 hours sleep! You must have needed it. Just off out.

HVDY that is worrying about MrHV - how are you both going to proceed? good for you with the volunteer befriending, much needed.

An unheard of 9 hours sleep, and my resolution to go to the gym will come to naught unless the get up and go fairies return.

Bests for BD's and your day ahead. Carry you all in my thoughts.

Wyllow3 I'm glad you got seen, despite the initial mix-up. Good news that your large bowel seems fine, but as you say, something is not right if you are bloated like that. I hope the CT you're waiting for will give more detailed results. Good that your son was with you.

How is everyone this morning? I tried to get a GP for DH before this coming Friday. No appointments available, only telephone ones, which would be no good. So, another week of him not going to work and not getting any money. I'm doing my usual Monday routine of aqua aerobics, pub lunch, and volunteer telephone befriending, today. Hope all on BD have a decent day x

When I turned up, the news hadn't been passed on that I was told to come in lat hitting, not 2.30, they thought I was a no show! but they did see me once actually consulted notes.

Procedure had good and "no" news, big colon is in good shape, but problem still ? so will wait for summons for CTcolonoscopy since a slim person looking 6 months pregnant, something is wrong. They gave me a generous dose of fentanyl so I was in a good mood after and enjoyed seeing son but sad he had to go at 8.30.

Doodle if its not not thing its another for MrD and there fore yourself, lots of lost sleep. I hope you get a chance for some quiet time in church "just for you" soon. Bests with physio and hopeful for something that might help.

*Sweetpeasue I really felt for you with the return of agonising with complaining or not. I think the counsellors idea is worth a try. Face the anger and fear - because you are in such an agony of indecision, can it be worse by trying? I expect the suggestion was made in the hope it might help resolve matters in your mind and externalise the feelings instead of bottling up xx

*Nice day, HVDY, may there be many more.

Scaredycat I'm guessing your sis lives a very long way away, the frustration of not being able to "see for yourself" must be very great.

The Quaker Zoom was unexpectedly moving. Good to spend an hour this morning on it.

I think there's still fentanyl in my system, not got my usual feelings!

So wishing all BD's best nights possible and hoping to see you tomorrow, present, reading, and in that space where "endure" is sometimes the only option.

Wyllow wondering how you got on. Did you have a good chat with your son?
Thank you for your thoughts about using the pool. DH isn’t keen at all. His multiple tablets make his so tired the thought of getting undressed and dressed again would be too much for him. He gets exhausted so easily. Kind thought though.
Scaredycat I hope you get good news about your sister too. It’s so difficult to get hold of these consultants.
Does your niece have any contact with the hospital? Would she be able to give you more information. I can see you're worried.
Lovely to have a visit from your GD and boyfriend. I’m sure what ever you make they’ll enjoy it and you’ll enjoy their company. Fingers crossed the AF gives you a night off.
Sweetpeasue no, DH has never had THR. I hadn’t thought of that as a reason for different leg lengths. Maybe DH is just lopsided. Yes the physio people said they wouldn’t push him
You certainly have helped others by being here. Whatever you decide to do about taking your case forward, make sure it’s the right decision for your MH.
HvDY yes DH should rattle with all his meds. His new asthma med is now causing night cramps in his legs. He has enough trouble sleeping as it is. We were both up last night with him walking round the lounge trying to get rid of the cramp. He used to have meds that helped but GP said they weren’t advised with some of his other meds. Why is it always a catch 22 situation .
Glad you’ve had a nice day. We enjoyed our meal in the pub last night too.
Ellie Anne Whiff and Candy hope today has been ok for you. I know weekends aren’t your favorite Ellie Anne
Sleep well all x

HVDYWhat a pleasant sounding day you've had. I love your wish for us of a 'cosy evening'. I think 'cosy' is a beautiful word! ☺️
Yes the idea/therapy was to write a letter to Drs concerned,(not actually send it). Every time I think of addressing them though my heart rate goes up and feel fear, anger and helpless. I'll be ok. I think it will be forever with me, especially if get pain but Im so much better than I was. Ive been without pain again for 3/4 dys. I feel v lucky right now.
EllieAnne, Candy Hope you're OK.

Doodle Hope all goes well with your DH's physio tomorrow. He's on a lot of tablets, isn't he, poor man. It's a good job we get prescriptions free.

ScaredyCat Hope your meal goes well. I'm sure your GD and her BF will enjoy it. It's always nice to have something that someone else has cooked.

SweetpeaSue Hope your DH is feeling better and that his BP is a bit more stable. Whatever tactic your counsellor suggested it might be worth a go. Do you find writing your thoughts/feelings down help at all? I went through a phase of writing about my emotions (just for myself, not for anyone to read at all), and then I put those notes away. I hope you have a more settled night.

Went with DH for a pub lunch, then my friend came round this afternoon, for a couple of hours, so it's been an easy and pleasant day. Hope Wyllow got on alright today.

Hope all BDers have a relaxing and cosy evening x

Doodle Cant remember if your DH had 1or2 THRs. I think consultant measured DH's legs befkre the op. He said there may be v small variation of leg length afterwards.Of course your DHs leg lengths are most likely absolutely perfect. 🤭Oh yes see what you mean about the car thing. Sure your husband would have found that v strange. Haha. So many tablets with his BP too--he must rattle. BP over 200 is v high. I really hope his physio goes well tomorrow. I'm sure they will be v gentle with him to see what he's capable of, especially the first time but he should just do what he can and not be pushed further than he's comfortable with.
HVDY Sounds a lovely time last night. Hope youve had a nice weekend.
Scaredycat Hope you have a nice time with your GD and boyfriend. The AF is such a nuisance for you, wish it would give you a break. Went on beach walk today. Little Sanderling with one leg. You know how they usually run. This little thing seemed to have learned to hop quickly with no problem. How adaptable living creatures can be against the odds. Crossed fingers for good news tomorrow from BIL.
Wyllow Hope you're ok and everything is well for you.

Woke early hrs and couldnt stop going over questions surrounding a recent discovery about med records. Last couple of weeks Iet it go but this morning it persisted and just confirmed everything I know happened. I dont want it tormenting me. I'm better than I was but this turned my thoughts to legal redress again. I'd shelved that (made myself think, I can always try again sometime) as can't face any more. Sometimes I wish I could erase the whole thing from my brain. Counsellor suggested a tactic but not sure if it might make things worse. I know that being here and hearing others problems has diverted me from my own and I know that 'being believed' has helped so much. I dont know what Id have done without it.
Hope all have not had too bad a day and wishing everyone peace from any mental turmoil. x

Hi all
Candy - Glad you had a good walk yesterday- it really is some of the best medicine.. Keeping busy does help to keep the gremlins at bay doesn’t it. Thank you for the kind thoughts re my sister. Let’s hope the consultant makes an appearance on Monday and as something positive to tell my BiL.
SweetPeaSue- hope your DH gets his BP sorted soon it is so stressful having to keep taking readings. That’s my worst nightmare!! But he can relax knowing you are on his case and so vigilant and caring. I guess changing the batteries just made him feel better. Auntie must so look forward to seeing you both- you must love her very much. Result with the phone.
HVDY- glad you had a good evening and the conversation flowed freely - it’s lovely when that happens . They sound interesting people .
Doodle- hope you enjoyed your evening with your son and enjoyed a lovely meal.
I,m very nervous about what the consultant will say tomorrow as my BiL put some quite worrying information on yesterdays bulletin . Trouble is he is a man of few words so I don’t get the personal details that I would like. He’s so worried poor man so I,m grateful for all he does do.
Ah you must miss your walks- it always sounds so nice where you live. Still by the time the warmer weather comes DH might be steadier on his feet and you can start with short walks and then sit somewhere nice and watch the world go by.Hopefully the physio will give him a bit more confidence. Wyllow,s idea about the pool sounded quite good but of course it’s not so easy getting down into the water.
Wyllow- hope all went well todayxxx
Tonight I am cooking dinner for 3rd eldest GD and her boyfriend - looking forward to seeing them both . I,ve lost a lot of confidence in the kitchen but they won’t mind if I faff about a bit. AF not helping either !! I do love being with young people though they make us laugh and we love them to bits.
Wishing you all as good an evening as possiblexxx

Thank you for good wishes. Only up once in the night, as expected after, tired as no food, so been v low, but attended a Quaker Zoom which was good, wish it were 4 hours on and hoping above all for information for a tum that looks pregnant, and of course very nervous, son expected soon.

HVDY I’m glad it was such a lovely evening. chatting non stop after quite a time is great to hear, I expect you’d like to make it more often.

200 times, Doodle. Sigh, you have to be on constant alert: it must be very tiring. I’m sure the physio will understand and “start where he is” and I hope DH feels comfy and can relax with him/her, it could make a big difference.

thoughts re gym: it might seem the craziest idea (and costs) but at my gym there is a swim pool and in the mornings especially there are older people (or recovering from operations people, and one I know who has MS )who just WALK up and down the slow lane. Yes, just walk, Because their weight is supported enough by the water but legs are strengthened and its a work out. but DH might hate water, and it would need to be where he felt not embarrassed. You could “do your own thing”. It’s sociable too.

~~~~~~~~~~~`` waves BD’s see you a lot later.

Wyllow hope all goes well today and it doesn’t cause you discomfort. Have a lovely chat with your son.
I hadn’t thought that about DHs leg lengths. It is a possibility.
Hope you are pleased with your treadmill when set up. Are you planning on watching videos while you go on it or listening to music. I find watching something passes the time.
HVDY glad you have a nice evening with your DHs cousin and wife. Funny how you can just chat so easily with some people isn’t it.
Good your son is getting on with his GF. Nice of him to help with decorating the bedroom. I bet the little girl will be pleased.
Scaredycat I don’t think tap dancing is quite in DHs capabilities at the moment. Barn dance stomping maybe 🤣
That made me laugh about you seeing your car at the top of another building.
I hope your BIL has some positive news from the chat with the consultant. How is your sister feeling in herself now?
Sweetpeasue at least I realised before I got in the car. It’s debatable who would have been more upset, me the man in the car or DH who was watching it all happen in the rear view mirror 🤣
My DH is on three meds for his BP and had a fourth added which was a bit too much as his Bp was so low he was falling over. The dose has been adjusted now and his BP and heart rate seem better. I realise you are worried about his high Bp and good he’s going to see someone about it, hopefully soon.
My DHs Bp has been over 200 on occasions also in hospital.
Nice of you to spend time with Auntie. She is lucky to have you so close by. Good news about your phone contract.
Candy good to get out and walk. We used to do that every day and miss being able to go as far was we used to. Wish I’d kept up going to the gym.
DH is starting physio Monday. He’s worried that it might bring in asthma attack, cramp, or that he won’t be able to cope. I’ve told him they have said he should just stop if he’s not able to cope. The physio is to help his balance.
Have a good day all.

Wyllow- thinking of youxx

Wyllow All the best for today. Thinking of you.

Candy8 Glad you enjoyed your walk. The weather has been decent today, hasn't it. Did you go to a park?

SweetpeaSue DH's sister has consistently high BP (200, sometimes more, top figure), despite being on 2 or 3 different tablets. I hope your husband gets the referral through soon.

*Wyllow3. Hope things all go well for you tomorrow. I'll think of you.

Had a lovely evening. Met DH's cousin and his wife (he's 60, she's 75), chatted nonstop about various things and people. Just got home. (I drove so only had soft drinks, which I don't mind doing). Off to get my make-up off and go to bed. Night all x

Wyllow Oh no, I hope not. Youll be so tired by then. 🙄

Well its too bad, you are observing and good for you!

I'm still waiting probably start at 2am or something.