Black Dog 15

EllieAnne Hope youre ok today and your visit to friend was helpful. Also that sore throat is easing.
Doodle Its so awful that you are both still having bad nights. I really wish things will get better for you both soon. DH paints a lot and has done for many years. I wouldnt even try as I dont have that inclination or ability. I like my reading and piano. How odd about losing your speech for a while when pregnant. Did you ever get an explanation? It must have been quite upsetting. I do hope you have a better night tonight.
Nadateturbe Hope you can manage church tomorrow. It must be so annoying when you have to pace yourself so much. Take care of yourself and hope your night is restful.
Whiff Your posts are always positive and as much as you say ours can be helpful, yours are quite inspirational too. I'm sorry about your 'weird' day. Hope tomorrow is better. I so agree about the truth. There cant be many times for us not to be truthful about ourselves unless its to avoid upsetting others on certain occasions, which can be done by sharing less. Take care of yourself.

Sorry if missed anyone out. Some bowel pain back but settled now. Just concerned about DH though fairly certain its Costochondritis. We are so tired but waiting till tomorrow to make decision about booking. Hr and half driving involved and know DH not up to that and if my bowel pain starts we'd be in fix. Oh dear, these whatifferies-but valid in circumstances. Hope everyone has a decent weekend. Thinking of you all and hoping Annie is ok and settled in by now. X

Evening all. Just a quick visit and thank you for all your good wishes.
HVDY I don’t mind you asking how old I am at all. I’m 62 so definitely post-menopausal but there is a lot of evidence around that says HRT can still help and it has to an extent. I think my problem is down to too much HRT rather than the other way around. I had the same thing a few years ago when I was on patches but the gel I’m on now is supposed to be better. We’ll see, sorry about the mix up with the amitriptyline 🤦‍♀️. I hope the prednisolone helps you. My son has taken that and my son in law still does from time to time for his rheumatoid arthritis. Enjoy your spag bol. What a treat to have a hubby who cooks, mine doesn’t ☹️. He’s excellent at diy and can turn his hand to almost anything so I’m grateful for that at least!
Doodle No I’m still waiting for an appointment. They say within 2 weeks so we’ll see. It has eased so I’m hoping it stays that way 🤞. My shopping trip wasn’t too successful and I ended up doing some food shopping too. Hope you enjoyed your reading.
Nadaterturbe thanks for your kind wishes. Hope you manage to get to Church tomorrow.
Whiff I’m glad you’ve got a support group to help you with the HPX. It’s definitely reassuring to have someone to turn to, much like us on here. You sound like you have indeed kept your promise to your late husband by making your life as good as you possibly can. I’m sure your family are very proud of you. You relate things so well.
Sweetpeasue Thank you so much for all the information. It’s reasssured me a lot. Of course there’s always the chance it could be something more sinister which is why they need to check it out, but now it’s eased I feel more confident that it’s down to the HRT. I hope so and that I can find a dose that suits me so I can stay on it. Thank you too for the hug. Much appreciated.

We are going to the pub up the road. It’s a decent pub but gets busy so I’m hoping we get a seat! We’re able to take the dog too 🙂. I hope everyone has a nice evening. Thank you all again. Sending ❤️ xxxxx

nadateturbe not a great night last night but we did have some sleep from 6am to 9am which helped a bit.
I’m like you. I have to pace myself with housework or anything. I don’t have the energy I used to. Do you belong to a nice church? Mine is quite small but very friendly.
HVDY is vasculitis very painful? How does it affect you?
I guess you’ll have a good sleep tonight in your spare room..I love spag bog……got any left?
Whiff it’s always good to know others with similar problems. Makes you feel less on your own and you can get some support.
If your medicine works for you why worry about it’s dosage, it doesn’t do to be in pain all the time. If it works for you that’s all that matters. You write so beautifully about your DH you must have had a happy life together.
Why wouldn’t we accept you? You are always kind and thoughtful to others. We all care for each other on here.😊
Sweetpeasue hope your DH has a restful night. Good idea to keep a check on him. I’m a bit surprised the GP didn’t send your DH for more tests to make sure she’s got the right diagnosis. What sort of thing does your DH paint? I admire anyone with any talent for these things.
I hate the night sweats, I don’t have them now but remember it well.
I think they thought the baby was laying on a nerve which affected my speech but even then they thought it was quite unusual. Is there a way you could go to the caravan by train so neither of you needs to drive?
Candy you are a mere youngster 🤣.
My DH doesn’t cook either but he does do a mean toast!
Will you be eating at the pub? Nice to go out for a change. Does the dog have some beer? Ours used to have a tiny drop.
Scaredycat Wyllow and Ellie Anne hope you have a good weekend. Hope you had a nice time with your friend Ellie Anne

Doodle I'm so sorry - just realised I missed 2 of your posts yesterday.
You were both up the while night and your husband had stabbing pains in feet+constant irritation. Do you think the magnesium salts might help over time? Typical the Neurologist on holiday, I know they need them too, but why do things worsen just as theyre not available? Nerve pain is so sporadic and when you said ' bizarrely' his pain was ok during daytime yesterday, it is like my bowel pain, in that there's no reason why it decides to come and go, but in between times can be constant irritation. Hope you can try the gel tonight, but really hope you get a rest from it, I really do.
Your second post to me was helpful and I understand what you're saying. Obvs DH having pain now too.It was out of hours GP that our GP surgery made an appt with.DH rang at 2pm yesterday but was told no GP could see him! So waited 5 hrs later for out of hrs GP who perhaps couldnt send him anywhere else at the time, I dont know. He often prefers to copy portraits and animals. Loves painting faces. Son saw large picture of Lion's head so DH trying to reproduce that on canvas for him at present. Hamnet I wasnt really struck on. Understand what you mean about going away. Not ruled out yet, will see how we geel tomorrow. Bowel really awful today but you're right in that we could rest in own accommodation if necessary. I realise, especially reading other experiences on GN, that we never know if we have to take over all the driving ourselves.and habe been letting DH do nearly all last couple of years. I need to keep confidence on the road so need to step up to the mark a little. Take care of yourselves and thinking of you tonight. X

Don’t worry Sweetpeasue we can’t always keep up with everything. We did try the magnesium gel last night but it made DHs legs sting. Won’t try it again for a bit.
Had a reasonably peaceful evening. DH getting ready for bed now. Hope you have a peaceful night too. I too am driving more to try and gain confidence. DH always did all the driving.
Sleep well

Evening all.
HVDY- you,ve been busy today. I was busy to start with as my hot water bottle sprung a leak so we had to frantically strip the bed and sort it out😩 Glad there is medication to help,with the Vasculitis - Hope your legs are comfortable today. Good that DH is cooking tonight - something you both like too.
Candy- oh that must have been so frightening - let’s hope the bleeding doesn’t happen again.
Hope you enjoy your evening at the pub- it’s good when you can just walk out to have a drink or meal isn’t it. Bonus when the dog can have a night out too!!
SweetPeaSue- I can understand your reluctance about booking now that DH is not feeling too good. Especially as it’s a bit of a drive. Whatifferies allowed under the circumstances!! Hope your pain stays settled tonight.
Doodle- oh dear another difficult night for you both . Good idea to take it easy today and enjoy your reading. I
I have to pace myself like you with work now- trouble is some days if I feel stronger I then overdo it and wear myself out. Getting old is not for the faint hearted!! I,m old - not you!!
Wyllow- hope you are enjoying your weekend.
EllieAnne- pleased you have your friend for company - it will do you good to relax and chat.
Whiff- always inspiring even on a weird day! Hope you feel better tomorrowxx
Love to allx

Hello all dear BD's. Struggling a lot with both OK's, goods, and v bad low mix compounded by exhaustion so a big mix and substantial, "courage, endure" at time .

Learning more about me and family stuff (hopes, expectations, acceptance, limits and blessings of love etc) ..more thoughts do I move etc.

I've read through everyone's today and your concerns.....and hoping for best nights all round...will be back properly on Monday xxx

Wyllow I think we're always learning about family stuff Wyllow. Its always challenging but am sorry you're struggling. Hope the exhaustion is alleviated by a decent night's rest. Thinking of you. You will be ok. Love. X

Candy6 You're a bit younger than me. I'll be 64 in a week. My husband can cook (his roast dinners are best), although he doesn't often do so. He's good at DIY too. Handy to have. I hope the gel helps you. My periods finally stopped when I was almost 60. I hope you enjoyed your pub visit and had a nice meal.

Whiff You write so warmly about your husband. You must have had such a happy marriage. You're welcome on here, we all care about each other, and we all share our problems and fears.

Doodle This Vasculitis (They haven't yet said which type it is) shows as a rash from toes to calves, and my legs often feel as if they're burning (not hot to touch though), prickling or aching (sometimes all 3 at once) but some days are ok. Odd. I hope your DH's legs are relieved a bit by keeping them cool. The sooner he can get some advice from the Neurologist (when he's back from his holiday?), the better. I hope you both had a better night last night.

ScaredyCat The hospital hasn't yet started me on the treatment, but will do so when I next go. I hope your bed didn't get too wet from the leak. Hot water bottle in spring? Do you feel the cold a lot?

SweetpeaSue I hope that your bowel pain has settled down by now. How's your husband feeling? It would do you both good if you could manage to get away. I understand about the driving, though. Would you be able to get a train?

Wyllow Did you have agood rest last night? Thinking about the possibility of moving is a bit decision. Hope you have a good day today.

Hope all BDers have a good a day as possible today x

Might not post again today as we’re going out tonight and might not be back till late. How we will manage I don’t know. DH cut a pin size hole in his lip whilst shaving and 5 hours later it is still produced constant tiny spots of blood. So annoying. We haven’t been out for ages.
Scaredycat oh no! What a mess to clear up. Did your mattress get soaked? Hope you didn’t burn yourself.
I’m too lazy to burn myself out 🤣. I’m getting more and more slow as time goes by. Just don’t have the energy these days.
Hope you’ve had a good weekend.
Wyllow sorry you’re struggling so much. I was hoping you’d be able to relax and enjoy family time. Are your family keen for you to move?
Sweetpeasue hope you’re having a better weekend.
HVDY another youngster 🤣. Does your DH use your new air fryer for roasts. My son loves doing his Sunday joints in the airfryer.
That vasculitis sounds unpleasant. Not totally different to some of DHs problems though with different cause. His legs are very tender to the touch and red but like yours not hot.
Hope the steroids work when you get them.
Another night up and about for us. Calves and ankles last night.
Hope all the Bd are doing ok today,

Doodle I hope your husband's lip stopped bleeding ok. We have done roast potatoes in the airfryer a couple of times. We ended up having herby new potatoes today. My legs aren't red, not tender to the touch. The rash is a brown color, almost like very close - together freckles. It's not raised, itchy or sore. (I am freckly anyway). A bad night for you and your DH last night again . I hope you managed to go out. Been for dinner?

How's everyone's day been? We stayed in as Son1 was meant to have been coming round with his girls. He texted me later to say that GD1's rugby match had been delayed and that they wouldn't have time to come after all (other side of town). A friend rang for about 30 minutes, then DH's sister rang for 90 minutes, so I did a lot of yapping . x

Evening all,
Hope all ok.
Doodle sorry you had a bad night last night. I hope you’ve managed some rest today. Hope you’ve managed to get out tonight too and your DH’s lip isn’t causing him any problems. My night at the pub wasn’t too successful as although we got there in plenty of time, they shut the kitchens early so we couldn’t eat. It’s so annoying as it’s happened to us before so I’ve emailed to complain. We were starving and ended up having a sandwich when we got back. Nowhere near the same though.
Sweetpeasue I hope your bowel has settled today and you are not in pain. How lovely that your husband is producing a painting for your son. It will mean such a lot to him and a lovely thing to do. I’d love to be able to paint. I keep threatening to try painting by numbers as you can get some really good ones.
HVDY hope your legs are ok today. Pity you didn’t get to see son and GD’s but these things happen don’t they? Good you had a good natter though. I live a good natter and it’s surprising at how quickly the time goes. A hubby who cooks AND good at diy - bliss! Definitely a keeper as they say 🤣
Wyllow so sorry you’re struggling. We’re all her with you and sending our love. I hope you are feeling a little better now.
Scaredycat I hope you got your mattress sorted and you are still able to use it. I haven’t used a hot water bottle in years but I remember how cozy they made you. I’m the other way and get too hot 🥵.
Mixed day for me, went to see DGS play football - he plays most Sundays and likes us to go. It’s lovely to see him enjoying himself so much bless him. Cooked a roast for us this evening and DD, DSiL and DGS came so that was nice. Had some bleeding again though last night and again today - only the once each day though so I suppose that’s an improvement on the other day. It worries me a lot when it happens and I get so stressed over it. I wish I didn’t and.that I could cope with things better. My husband is such a calming influence though and does his best to reassure me bless him. Feeling calmer now.
Hope everyone is ok and is having a nice evening. Sleep well all. Night night xxxx

It’s been tough. Internal brain difficulties rather than family. Tho kids a blessing. Parents get a bit overwhelmed then snap a bit at me too and I’m too thin skinned. In one way it’s being accepted as one of the family but too vulnerable after Ex.

See you all tomorrow when I drive home. It’s easier to cope with my emotions there.

Candy Oh, how disappointing. What time did they stop serving food? It seems to be 9pm round our way. I bet your family loved your home-cooked roast dinner. How old's your GS? Does he play a particular position in football? Our GD is 11, and plays rubgy (although I've no idea what position, I can't understand the game ). I hope the bleeding doesn't start up again. It must be alarming for you. My legs have been not too bad, thanks.

Wyllow Try not to take things to heart (not always easy), things aren't always meant.

I hope everyone's ok this morning. Son2 is finalising his house purchase, and should get the keys on Wednesday. He might be here for a little while longer - he hasn't yet got broadband set up there, which he needs for work. Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day x

If I don't write this down it's going to bother me all day. I had my first panic attack this morning. It was awful I couldn't breath as I was hyperventilating and was having palpitations and crying. My husband died in 2004. His last Christmas in 2003 he was to ill to go out shopping . He got our children to get me some presents but can't remember what. Anyway Christmas 2002 he brought me a beautiful white gold pendant with a pink stone. It's not big as I don't like large pendants. And have worn it everyday since he died. I always leave it in the same place at night. After having my breakfast I realised I hadn't put it on. But couldn't find it. Hence the panic attack . I couldn't remember moving it and the more I looked the more I couldn't breath it got so bad thought I would have to get my daughter to come . I have PAF as well as a hole in my heart and HPX. The more I couldn't find it the worst my PAF was out of control. Finally I found it in my bed. How and why it was there I don't know and don't remember putting it on the bed let alone how it got inside.

Writing it down it seems ridiculous to get into such a state over a necklace but it was the last piece of jewellery my husband brought me as he wanted me to have something special before he died.

You all have so much more to worry about but I needed to tell someone and didn't want to tell my daughter who I will be seeing later as we are going to an Easter egg hunt a local church by me. Plus they are going on holiday tomorrow for a week and she worries enough about me as it is.

But I knew you wouldn't mind me telling you . And because I have I feel better. Thank you all for being here a safe haven ❤️

Dear Whiff how awful for you. I have had panic attacks before and it’s no fun. Of course you were upset. I can understand how the thought of losing such a precious gift would cause such anxiety. I’m so glad you’ve found it.
The thing is you have a good reason for your panic attack. Something specific happened which caused this. Celebrate the joy of finding it. Breathing into a brown paper bag is an age of remedy for calming the hyperventilating. Ice cubes and cold face cloth can help calm the hot feeling.
Your reaction was not ridiculous. You were upset.
I hope you have calmed down now and nice time wi your daughter.
You are always welcome here. 😊
HVDY your leg rash sounds like a nice sun tan rather than a red rash, glad it’s not itchy.
Yes we had a lovely meal out last night and really enjoyed it.
DH suffered with a lot of cramp last night so we didn’t get much sleep but it was worth it to get out for a change.
DH lip carried on bleeding till we went to bed but seems to have stopped now.
Candy So sorry your night out wasn’t so good, fancy shutting the kitchens.
You should try painting by numbers. I’ve done one and it turned out well. I enjoyed it.
Sorry about the bleeding again but nice your DH can calm you down. Hope you have a better day today.
Wyllow it’s so easy to be hurt by others isn’t it. I’m sure your family don’t mean it it’s just parents have so much stress these days.
Hope the journey home is a smooth one and then you can relax in the comfort of your own home,

Whiff As Doodle says, breathing in and out of a paper bag helps. Panic attacks can be quite alarming. I first experienced one when I was in my 20s, with 2 young children. I was walking along the street with them when I suddenly felt terrible. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. That was the start of many years of being on antidepressants. I'm glad you found your pendant, and I hope you have a nice time with your daughter today.

Doodle I'm so pleased you were able to go out last night. It must have made a pleasant change. My dad used to get leg cramps at night, and he took Quinine tablets for it. I remember him having a styptic pencil thing to dab on his face if he cut himself shaving. Would one of those help in the future? They still sell them on Amazon.

The sun is shining now . I did aqua aerobics then went for a snack at the pub with my friend. I've got my volunteer 'phone call to my regular lady later - she's so racist, homophobic and generally intolerant of everyone, so I'm thinking of asking the company (ReEngage) to find me someone different. Hope all BDers are ok x

Hi just a quick visit as I’m about to finish my lunch break. I’ll respond properly later but just wanted to wish Whiff well. Fully understandable why you had that panic attack. Your pendant must be very precious to you. I hope you feel better now and that you have a lovely afternoon with your daughter.
Love to all and speak later xx

Whiff I can just imagine your fear of not finding something so precious and dear to you. Very understandable. Ive heard of the paper bag thing too. I'm so glad you found it. Of course you can come on here about anything when you want to offload and are stressed. I'm glad you did. Hope you enjoyed your Easter egg hunt with your daughter. Take care.
Candy Its horrible when you dont understand what's going on with your body. Sorry youve started bleeding again and hope it soon stops. It's a month now since my last bleed. 🤞. Do you get awful pain with it?I'd have a go at painting if you really fancy it. Doesn't matter if it's painting by numbers at all. It could be relaxing for you and distract from other worries.
HVDY You do well to keep up the aqua Aerobics. Ive let a lot of my activity slip lately. It's a shame about your 'regular' lady. She's probably unaware of the changing times and must isolate herself a lot, though the intolerance of everyone is unpleasant. She's probably not going to change if she's very old. Must be v unpleasant to hear. Not all older people are like that though.
Wyllow I hope things have been a little better today. It can be hard going from the quiet of home into a lively place. You have so much on your mind and, as you say, are fragile after separation. Hope your drive home is relaxing for you.
Doodle I'm so sorry about your bad night again. Hope its better for you tonight.
Love to Scaredycat, Nadateturbe and EllieAnne. Hope you're ok.

DH still has pain but sure now it must be the 'costa' thing. Mentally Im all over the place. Extremely upset today as missed out on family and felt certain we'd impose their choices if we went, plus we are not both up to it really. Then son texted to say not too late-- after I'd had meltdown that needed double meds. Looked online and booked! Oh dear what have I done? Feeling reallyfrantic and anxious. You said Id probs be miserable if I didnt go, Doodle. Today it felt like end of the world. So. Its done. We're travelling tomorrow and I will share driving. Please wish me luck that my bowel pain doesnt get too bad. DH said it was about hr and half drive. Oh no it isnt-why didnt I check? Its 2 and half. Taking all meds with us and will take things as they come. I must be crazy. (no disrespect).
Hope everyone has a peaceful night. X

Sweetpeasue holding you in the light. It won’t be easy….but it may be rewarding …and we have to do “crazy” things as in, not the apparently easy way out (as in, not doing things, becuase that has its own consequences)

HVDY hoping the finalising goes well and the broadband sorted quickly. As regards your phone help contact I agree you need to ring the company. Some things are unbearable when they go against beliefs in ones very being, however loving one can be, I’m sure your lady is bitter and disappointed in life as well as her opinions, but there are limits.

Whiff so very, very, understandable - not just the apparent pendant loss, which echoes the human loss, but knowing that one can forget where/when one has put things…and thats scary too.

Doodle so glad to hear you enjoyed it! Much needed in the turmoil of all the sleeplessness and confusing symptoms. I just keep wishing that a way for MrD could be found for better sleep, so very much.

I was glad to get home. Yes the drive was relaxing.

It was all too much to take on really energy wise.

I was mentally at my outer limits a great deal of the time.

There are matters to resolve as regards myself and DiL, but oh so wisely/gently: all love has ambiguities.
I’m terribly aware how profoundly disabled DGD has had an impact on their busy lives:
moving would have to be undertaken unsupported practically, its the emotions need reviewing: but seeing them in bits and bobs not huge blobs of intense time almost certainly easier all round. I did spend some time reviewing retirement flat possibilities.

Next time might well be a hotel tho for both “sets” of reasons - less intense, and a location where I can pop into local Quaker meeting on the Sunday. A “gasp” at city centre prices, however given the importance of finding my way, do-able..

Candy there can be periods in depression when its very difficult to be creative although advice is generally it helps. I’d recommend a group thats for free expression splashing splashing with colour and no expectations of it “looking like anything” but firstly you are busy and secondly…….. its new people stuff.

There are however in say Hobbycraft kits for all sorts of easy crafty things with hands that might just take your fancy.

Love to all BD’s reading and feeling.

Wyllow So very glad you're home and you have managed your trip. It's so different staying with anyone and I have always found it exhausting mentally though I know many people dont at all and 'thrive' on lots going on. You have done amazing Wyllow with your CFS too. Im guessing a 'dressing gown day' will be needed--but you did it.

I knew my son had neen kind the day he said we could go but wasnt sure about infringing partners time and other son. Was hoping the feeling was from others too. Only got that confirmation t time. Spent yesterday and today feeling so unstable. .My emotions so erratic. Must get myself sorted now. Thankyou* Wyllow*. X

All I do know is, there is a time for backing off and going into the shell, and thee is a time for pushing out of it, as regards depressive feelings: and making wise choices, and I think you have made the right one - you staying in hotel or was "booking" being with family?

Evening all. I hope all of you are as ok as you can be.
Wyllow I’m glad you are feeling happy to be home. A lot for you to consider. Take your time and mull it all over. I’m hopeless at making decisions I’m afraid. If I only had my DS I think I would definitely move closer to him but it’s not really an option as I have DD and family here. I understand what you mean about seeing family for shorter periods rather than one longer one. I get so stressed when DS comes to stay as I feel a lot of pressure to make things perfect but it can’t always be that way. I don’t blame you for considering a hotel either. I stay in a Premier Inn when I go to see him as I like my own space. Your family have a lot to cope with too and do it admirably I’m sure. It must be difficult and my heart goes out to you all. I’ve visited Hobbycraft a few times but you’re right, I think group sessions would be a good motivation- I’ve had some knitting in my cupboard for years that I’ve not even started! I hope you are ok and not too weary after your trip.
HVDY yes not having a meal at the pub was disappointing. They are supposed to serve until 9 pm but stopped at 8.15. 9pm is about the norm at most places I think. DGS is 7 and plays upfront - he’s a good goal scorer but seems an ok all rounder. Apparently, a few of the big clubs are looking at him through their scouts but we’re not getting too excited - I’ve seen it all before. These clubs take on hundreds of kids with most of them being disappointed in the end. He loves and enjoys it so that’s the main thing. How exciting that your son’s completing his purchase today and good that you’ll have him there a bit longer too. At least he’s not moving far away which is a bonus I’m sure. Well done for going to aqua. I hope you enjoyed it. You’re volunteering sounds difficult. I would find it hard staying calm listening to someone like that. Well done you.
Doodle glad you managed a nice meal out. Eating out is such a treat I think. Hope your DH’s cramp and bleeding lip are ok.
Sweetpeasue yes, it’s the not knowing what’s going on that’s worrying as I’m sure you will understand. No, not much pain at all except when it was at its worst, it felt like a period pain. I was always lucky that I didn’t suffer too much with my periods. It makes me think that it’s probably hormonal and down to the HRT but obviously I don’t know for sure.
Well done in booking your holiday. Try not to worry. If you have a flare up, you can just rest and I’m sure your family will understand. I’m going away later this week with my family and I’ve been worried about spoiling it for them too if I’m struggling with what’s going on with me but I’m trying to tell myself that I’ll just have to take it easy if I have to and you can too. I’m sure it will all work out for you and will most likely do you the world of good. Safe journey.

Busy day for me today at work, but then it always seems to be. I’ve had some blood loss today and over the weekend but it only seems to be happening once per day 🤞 so I’m hoping it eases completely soon.
I hope all are ok and ❤️ too to all those not personally mentioned. night night all and hope you all have a restful night xx

Good evening everyone.

Sweetpeasue the book by Claire Keegan was very short and imo boring. Can't wait to hear what the book group make of it!
Candy I hope you found Sweetpeasue's post helpful, it's good when someone can understand what you're going through. Bleeding with no cause must be frightening, so it's good to get some reassurance.
Doodle It must have been really good to get out last night.
I'm glad you both enjoyed it. You both are in need of some pleasant times. You said about the gel stinging your husbands legs. I use magnesium sensitive spray for pain. Tbh I'm not sure if it helps or not. Hard to know sometimes. I'm sorry about your continued lack of sleep. It must be very draining and certainly doesn't help physical problems.
Wyllow3 it's annoying when children snap. It hurts. But better to ignore it and not let it get to you.
You need to take time to decide what you want to do long term what is best for you. I agree that short visits when you live close are easier. I would much prefer my children to be able to pop in for a coffee and chat. And you would get to know gc better. I miss that.

To those who mentioned pacing, it's difficult to stop when you've found a bit of energy and want to make the most of it. It takes discipline to refrain from doing as much as possible when you feel suddenly energetic, but it pays in the long run.

Whiff your 2nd last post was beautiful . You are so positive in spite of still grieving and appreciative of each day, such an inspiration.
I too had panic attacks a while back. I used a paper bag and walked back and forth to work off the adrenaline. (A strange sight).

HVDY you always manage to sound very upbeat. The volunteer calls don't sound pleasant at all. Why on earth would someone be like that? Not something to look forward to. I think you should definitely ask for another contact.

Sweetpeasue I hope you manage to enjoy your time at the caravan. You can take lots of breaks and rest on the way. I do hope your husbands pain eases and yours and you both get to enjoy the time with family.

I didn't make it to church. I'll never get to know the members at this rate! But really it's OK. It is what it is.

Apologies to anyone not mentioned. ( hello Scaredycat and EllieAnne).

Hoping for a peaceful evening for you all. And some sleep.
In my prayers as always. x

Whiff hope you had a good afternoon and are feeling better now.
HVDY thanks for the tip about the pencil. Will look into it.
DH did have quinine last night but it didn’t help. Cramp was too strong.
Good to have acqua aerobics and a lunch with a friend, I would find it difficult to talk to someone like that. Does the person you chat to have dementia or do you think she’s always like that? Not surprised you’d like to change.
Sweetpeasue I expect you will have a stressful night tonight being anxious about your trip. Please try and go. I’m sure you’ll have a good time when you get there. It’s not a race. Drive slowly, have lots of breaks and swap driving. I do so hope you have a good time.
Wyllow glad you’re home safely. If you moved would it be to somewhere near your son and his family? I can understand why it would perhaps be better to stay in a hotel. You may well feel more relaxed and comfortable.
If you did move into a retirement home perhaps the people there would help with the move. I believe some companies do.
Still, perhaps a thought for another night. Let your mind relax a bit now you’re home.
Candy do you often go and watch your DGS play? He sounds as though he’s very good.
Sorry the bleeding is continuing. As you say, perhaps it will stop soon. Hope so.
Does it take you long to get to work or do you work locally? I used to have a 30 minute drive to work but I enjoyed it as it was mostly through the countryside.
Scaredycat we were going for a walk today as it looked sunny but DHs legs were aching so much we didn’t go., I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll ever get back into going for a long walk again.
What have you been up to today? Did you hear from your sister over the weekend?