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When to 'go'

(64 Posts)
ExDancer Tue 14-Mar-23 14:05:50

My mum always told us not to go for a 'wee' at the first sign, but to hold on for as long as we could because it was 'good for us'.
Her reasoning was that it trained our bladders to hold more and grow stronger.
Now I am older I'm not sure she was right.
What is the up to date thinking on the subject?

FannyCornforth Wed 15-Mar-23 09:58:42

I’ve just read that it was due to a steel sewage tank springing a leak.
Not due to weeing outside

Shinamae Wed 15-Mar-23 10:08:55

My urologist told me to hold it, and that the feeling to go would pass, and I find that the truth, she said to go too often made the bladder irritable…🤓

Gin Wed 15-Mar-23 11:39:32

I ‘hold on’ with moderation or else would be up and down like a yoyo as recommended by the renal doctor.

When my children were young we took them tobogganing up a mountain in Italy. Desperate for a wee, I climbed over the snow piled waist high at the edge of the road by ploughs, squatted down and mid-stream began to move with gathering speed down the mountainside, only stopping when a tree conveniently ended my flight. My rear end was somewhat frozen!

dogsmother Wed 15-Mar-23 13:26:01

Haha my favourite subject…
Always told by my mother to go before you went out…trained all my children the same. Had gynae problems later life was told to stop going so frequently, have a word with my self and get on with pelvic floor again as per post natal. Move on a few years and had bladder cancer….all sorted for now.
I took a shewee to Reading festival…. Very useful! And I’ve never shied away from using whichever public toilet was free ( if it looked clean) disabled only means bigger in my mind, not exclusive.

Tizliz Wed 15-Mar-23 13:57:46

How many have done their pelvic floor exercises whilst reading this thread 🤣🤣

crazyH Wed 15-Mar-23 14:03:49

Tizliz - as I type 😂

Thoro Wed 15-Mar-23 15:51:55

This is the advice from NHS.
I go whenever the opportunity presents itself!

grannyactivist Wed 15-Mar-23 16:02:04


This is the advice from NHS.
I go whenever the opportunity presents itself!

This advice is for people experiencing urinary incontinence, which itself can be brought on by women ‘holding on’ and thereby weakening the bladder muscles. ‘Go’ when you can, not when you must. 😁

swampy1961 Wed 15-Mar-23 16:23:50

I always go before leaving the house as you can bet I'd want to go when I was out.
But if I'm out with the GCs I will ask them to try when we go to the toilets - 9 times out of 10 they will go!! Which saves the panic when one says I need a wee!!
Has anyone ever noticed that if you are out having a meal or whatever that one will pipe up that they need a wee as soon as their food is put in front of them?

Cambia Thu 16-Mar-23 11:18:49

Yes, thought I was hidden from sight on the moors one day and suddenly a flight of hang gliders appeared right above my head! Oh well, too late to stop!

missdeke Thu 16-Mar-23 11:36:37

Well I had bladder cancer and now have a urostomy pouch, my 'golden Gucci'. It's been an absolute boon, easier to empty, even in the car straight into a bottle if necessary and I never have to get up in the night for a wee. Silver Linings grin

Warbler Thu 16-Mar-23 11:52:41

A Shewee is an absolute essential these days. You can do it standing up. Anywhere.

mokryna Thu 16-Mar-23 12:04:34

Wyllow snap I have been doing that for years even for my children.

DeeJaysMum Thu 16-Mar-23 12:05:58


disabled only means bigger in my mind, not exclusive.

Yes, they are meant to be exclusively for the disabled, not for just anyone, there's a reason why many have radar locks!

Ashcombe Thu 16-Mar-23 12:19:58

Just over five years ago when the Beast from the East struck, I was stranded in my car in a long, stationary queue on the A31, heading for Portsmouth. Grabbing my shewee, I attempted to open the car door but the wind was too strong. Luckily, I had a towel to protect my seat so I could use it whilst remaining at the wheel.

It also proved useful on the same journey during the pandemic when public loos in Dorset were often closed mid-afternoon. Here's a link for anyone wanting to buy one:-

Nanna58 Thu 16-Mar-23 12:35:14

Years ago Biglouis I did the same , nipped into the gents before a flight as desperate and huge queue at Ladies .Obviously checked it was empty first . Came out to find Cairo airports police waiting with guns - stupid, but I just didn’t think . Lucky by gestures DH said I was ‘ mentally impaired ‘
Lesson learnt!

Dizzyribs Thu 16-Mar-23 12:53:30

I’ve “pelvic floored” since I was in my 20s and doubled them after my children. Sadly they have had little effect, even after professional intervention.
I suspect “holding on” was the problem. I had a 36 year working life as a teacher, where you couldn’t go when you needed to due to safety requirements of supervising and teaching children. This often meant no chance from 8.30 until 12.30, sometimes longer if children needed escorting to or supervising in the lunch break. My former cast iron bladder has needed the support of Tena max since my late 50s. Couldn’t be without them and my trusty shewee!

grandtanteJE65 Thu 16-Mar-23 12:56:48

I too have always been told that when you need the toilet, you should go. This was, of course, not always permitted in my school-days, but they are long since over.

Either going as soon as you feel the need is healthier, as I have not yet been subject either to infections of the bladder or to constipation, or I have just been lucky.

I think the older we get, the oftener we need to wee, so having been uncomfortable more than once when in places were there were neither public toilets, nor convenient bushes, I bought a she-wee, which I take with me when going out shopping, etc. as using it a solitary tree can provide enough shelter for neither my nor others' modesty to be offended.

Sue65 Thu 16-Mar-23 13:28:56

I think your mum was right
People I know who go at every opportunity seem to be unable to retain hardly any urine. They are always needing a wee
The body just gets used to weeing at a smaller volume
Animals don’t wee every couple of hours

HannahLoisLuke Thu 16-Mar-23 13:35:46

I’ll second Mogsmaw in recommending a She wee. Never used one but often thought it would be a good idea.

Longdistancegrnny Thu 16-Mar-23 14:18:21

To remind you to do the pelvic floor exercises you can download an NHS app called 'Squeezy' - my pelvic physio says it has really helped me, she also says that if you squeeze your toes if you can't immediately use a loo it should hold off the urge - can't quite remember why but something to do with the nerves running from your bladder!

seadragon Thu 16-Mar-23 14:19:45

I often forget to go and, at 73, seem to have experienced no ill effects as a result of this...apart from needing 3 cardiac stents in my heart in 2016.... However, my sister worked on a kidney dialysis unit for several years and nagged me constantly about my 'retention'...., saying it would damage my kidneys! I do 'go' more frequently night but never overnight about which I am delighted....

granma47 Thu 16-Mar-23 15:24:52

There are public loos in Lytham St Annes but at 40p at time there are often queues outside the one where someone spent the 40p. Anyone can buy a radar key off the web to use the disabled toilets.

Lioness57 Thu 16-Mar-23 16:34:58

Ladies get a Shewe they are brilliant especially if out walking

SachaMac Thu 16-Mar-23 17:21:12

I always go before leaving the house, (stems from childhood) even if I don’t feel the need, sometimes I can go all day and not think about needing the toilet but the minute I know there isn’t one close by I seem to get the desperate urge to go!!