Black Dog 16

Wyllow Thank you. You did right to stay in bed. You must have needed the sleep. The weather's horrible here, and a duvet day would have been good.

Whiff You have overcome so very many troubles, and coped with such a lot. You're a strong person, a real inspiration.

ScaredyCat You keep walking, and it's good that you do. You don't let your AF stop you. I'm definitely eating enough but have cut out carbohydrates, although I had a bit of flatbread earlier.

SweetpeaSue I'm glad you've had a better day. It makes all the difference in one's mood, doesn't it? The tablets aren't making any difference yet, but as the course is for 4 months, I suppose they'll work when I've been on them longer.

Candy, Nadateturbe, EllieAnne and particularly Doodle - hope you're all ok

Son1 and his girls came here at 12, and we went to an indoor golf adventure thing in town (been before, it's good), which took 90 minutes. Back to ours so that Son could pump his tyres up. The girls entertained me with their dancing and applying lipgloss and eye shadow (11 1/2 and 8), then we went to a pub for dinner before going our separate ways.

HVDY The indoorr golf thing sounds fun. We have one that might be similar in our village and it's used by people from nearby towns. My own DGD is 11 (soon 12) and theyre so 'grown up' aren't they?She likes doing dance moves too. The steroids might take time for the inflammation markers to come down and then you could be put on a much lower maintenance dose hopefully. Look afyer yourself and don't overdo things.

Wyllow Just checked and sleeve edge wasnt embroidered but had piping a couple of inches in. The problem with altering it further up is its been shaped in a strange way(photo). I bought it for hospital stay but haven't wore it yet. I thought Id float around the house like a glamorous film actress but I can't make a cuppa or wash up in it! 😂

Haha - sorry HVDY. Photo came up alongside your name.

Another full day at hospital. They were very nice and took good care of DH but we are both so tired. We fell asleep in the waiting room 🤣
Blood results were better today. Thank goodness it’s weekend and we can have some time at home.
Sweetpeasue your kimono dressing gown looks very pretty. How nice to have your DGS round. I used to love being with my DGC and playing games with them and make believe.
Glad that cheered you up a bit. Do you worry when your son is away or are you used to it now?
HVDY are you secretly pleased that you’ll have your son around for a bit longer. 😊
I can understand your feelings about being disabled. DH felt exactly the same. Firstly he didn’t want a walker (rollator) because only old people had them. Now he can hardly walk even with it. Today he received his blue badge. It’s official. All of this has come about since January. It’s scary.
I will look up your condition but sometimes things sound worse than they are. Hope you feel better about it tomorrow.
Sounds like you had a fun afternoon with your son and girls. Bet that did more to cheer you up than any medicine.
Wyllow taking yourself off to bed and sleeping is a good thing. Your body needs rest. I can feel mine does. I know I’m not firing on all cylinders at the moment, I’m shuffling round the flat like an old lady……..er could that be me 😊
It take some desire to start work on some project or other, glad you find your interest has been sparked. That’s a good thing.
Scaredycat palpitations better now. I think it was something the GP said about the possible causes of DHs anaemia that set me off. Sort of panic and anxiety attack. I have sorted out my mind now and back in an even keel for the moment. You are brave to keep going out in your own but so right to do so. It’s lovely to go for a walk and enjoy life around you.
Whiff what an encouraging story. You sound as though you live in a really nice place and are happy there. So pleased for you. You’re right, moving is a real hassle but the end is usually worth it. We love it in our home, best move we ever made,
Sorry if what I’ve written isn’t making much sense, I feel like I could sleep for a month. Take care all

Doodle - yes, everything happening for you since January -its far, far too much all of sudden. the toughest of cookies would find that hard - and you have been a loving star. I do believe that the medics will find a way to make things "more on the level, but it's been an awful journey there.

Ah, I see, Sweetpeasue, a traditional sleeve, personally I'd simply say goodbye to the decorative cord and turn the sleeve up... then you can actually wear it floating round the house. You can buy double sided sticky iron on tape to iron on to turn it up, no stitching involved just careful cutting - fold it up to desired length, cut carefully, and iron the tape on to make the hem.
What a lovely day, HVDY. Well deserved.

I've just shelled out on Sky to watch,"Mrs Harris Goes to Paris". Delightfully escapist and cheerful.

I got on the treadmill and walked quite happily for just 30 mins, no sign of back problems, and the minute I stepped off, curses mega twinge back to square one. There is a lady at the gym I think can help, it's beyond my yoga knowledge.

Doodle It's good to hear how you are both coping. Itust be hard to keep posting when you're so tired. You must have been really tired to fall asleep in waiting room-the chairs are usually hard upright things. I'm glad your husband's blood tests wrre better today and that you have a whole weekend of your own time--think weather should be good. You both need some time to yourselves and to just relax. Can you see the birds on the river from your home? Perhaps your DH might be able to take some steps with the walker or maybe not? Is there a bench or something by the river outside your home? I'm glad he has the blue badge as it should make it so much easier for you to park. I do hope it wont be so busy for you next week with so many medical appts. I play some board games, memory card pairs(he always wins, and attempt a sort of football on our little driveway while admiring and praising his nifty footwork, and draw. I watched a series about an oilrig out at sea and I was shocked at how large and remote they are. I don't like to think of him out there, no. These puma helicopter flights sound scary too. But I'm a proper worrier anyway. Do hope you have a good restful night Doodle. 🤞🙏X

Wyllow Thanks for that. I just needed confirmation. I originally thought of doing that but hadnt thought of the tape you mentioned. If the edge bit is slightlywider might not lay flat but will have another look.

Oh no, your back. Hope the gym lady can advise.
Think Ive seen that film promoted somewhere. Does it have Celia Emrie (think misspelt) in it?

Evening all. Another catch up when I can visit. We’re still at caravan (I don’t like going home) but most have already left. An anxious day for me which was a bit of a shock as I’ve been feeling better. Just proves to me that my anxiety is never too far away and always ready to pounce. I’ll plod on. I’m sorry so many of you have had problems too. You all have so much to deal with yet are all so willing to help each other. Truely inspirational.
Scaredycat your advice in one of your recent posts where you say “let thoughts come for a specific time, then put to one side” is excellent and one I really need to master. It’s so easy to get caught up in them and let them take over. I find controlling the thoughts one of the most difficult. It’s great that you’re not letting the AF get the better of you and continue your walking. It must make you feel so much better, at least mentally, afterwards.
Wyllow sorry you had a bad day yesterday but good you rested. It’s totally understandable that you may be overwhelmed with all you’ve got going on. It seems to me that moving will be good for you but you are right not to rush into anything. Living closer to the sea will be good too 😀. Your escapist film sounds good therapy. I remember being stuck in hospital with my son for a period of time and that’s what I was looking forward to most - just being able to watch such a film. Can’t remember whether I actually did or not now though. Good you went on the treadmill but sorry you twinged your back. Hope the lady at the gym is able to help.
Sweetpeasue glad your counselling went well. I’ve booked in to see mine next week. I don’t go every week now like I used to, but feel I need to re-visit now and go over a few things with her. She’s very good. Glad you had a good day today. Our grandchildren are great distractions and such a joy. I’m a worrier too and I hope you are not too worried about your son. Is he able to keep in regular contact with you when he’s offshore? Hope you are not in any pain at the moment.
HVDY I’m sorry about your diagnosis but I hope you’ve had time to process now and you feel a bit easier. I remember when my son was diagnosed, his consultant advised us not to Google anything because “you’ll always find the worst case scenario and that may not apply to you”. It was about the best advice he gave us as it turned out he let my son down badly, but that’s another story. So I think now that you know, you’ll be offered the best treatments available and adapt. Your NHS trust sounds like a good one and has seen you quickly which is a good thing. Is there a charitable organisation for the condition too? I’m a big believer in those for support and information. Take care of yourself. I’m glad you had a good day with your son and his girls. Therapy in itself. Well done on the weight loss too.
Whiff thank you for sharing your story about your house move. It seems like it was really good for you and I’m glad it worked out. I think I’ve mentioned before, that I’m not overly happy where I live but moving is complicated. It’s good you live an independent life too. I don’t know whether I could as I feel I wouldn’t be strong enough. I’m glad you are.
Doodle you’ve had such a stressful and tiring time it’s no wonder you had palpitations. I hope the weekend brings you some sunshine and well earned rest. I’m happy you love your home too. It must bring you great happiness and peace which is important I think.
Ellie-Anne well done on your drive. I hope you had a lovely time with your daughter.
Nadaterturbe I hope you’re fully rested and less stressed now.

Good night all. Love to everyone, including those not personally mentioned. Hope you all have a restful sleep.

SweetpeaSue That's a gorgeous pattern. Have you got pyjamas to match? The consultant has already given me a plan to start reducing the steroids in a month's time, but I won't finish them until August.

Doodle You both must be exhausted. I hope you can have some relaxation this weekend. You both need a good rest. Is that all the appointments finished with for a while? Good that the blood tests were ok. I've got a blue badge, too. It's very useful as I can use the disabled bays which means less walking to shops etc. Yes, I'll miss Son2 when he goes, as we share the same humour, but he'll only be 2 miles away.

Wyllow Good that you went on the treadmill, but I hope your back is feeling better now.

Candy6 What's the weather been like for you there? It must be great to get away for a while and have a break.

EllieAnne, Whiff, Nadaterturbe and others - hope you're all ok.

It's my husband's birthday today, so the family will be here later. He doesn't like any fuss, but we're all going out next Monday (with their GFs too) for a meal. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Candy I'm sorry you've had quite an anxious day. You mentioned home quite a bit and it must be awful not to feel at ease there. Perhaps it was the thought of returning that set off the pattern of these persistent thoughts and anxiety. I don't know if you are home today or tomorrow but I just wondered if it makes a difference if you are alone at hom or with your husband. I hope you can discuss these thoughts with your counsellor next week. I dont see mine every week as I did at the beginning. I was so worried about the allocated sessions ending but was ultra relieved to hear that Ive been allotted some more. I noticed you mentioned your son was let down by his consultant. That must have been so very hard and must have been an awful time for you. My son and I usually text at times he's away through WhatsApp so not too bad really. I just hate the thought he's on a rig surrounded by sea, silly I know. I hardly dare jinx anything but I'm not getting the pain I had barely at all this last couple of weeks and nothing like what I suffered before that. Shh! Just the hot flushes and v empty feeling inside which has to be HRT withdrawal. I'm glad you found Scaredycat's suggestion
about the intrusive thoughts helpful. Take care and I hope you're feeling less anxious today.

HVDY Morning. Thought I was early today but you were still earlier. I'm not a 'lark' at all on mornings! 😂
No, didnt get matching pj's though there were a matching bra n pants that were v pretty though briefs a bit skimpy for my pear shape. 🤭
Happy Birthday to your DH. It's almost a double celebration birthdays being so close. Hope you all have a nice day.
I'm glad you've got a plan to reduce the steroids. It helps to feel more in control of a condition and meds if you know what the aim is. Take care.

The star of Mrs Harrris goes to Paris is Lesley Manville, Sweetpeasue. I'm very glad you've been allocated more sessions. Good pain report there.

Candy yes these days will happen...good move to check in with your counsellor. Perhaps you can find out a bit more exploring home anxiety and its triggers.

Happy birthday for MrHVDY tho clearly he likes to underplay it...yes you will miss son but get the bedroom back....

I slept badly my back was so bad but texted the trainer at the gym who does remedial stuff and was really fortunate and she had a cancellation today.
Some long term work to be done rolling about on small balls down my back and certain exercises and bike not walk at the gym unless I've done all the back rolling stuff. Was just glad that although its nerve related, it is not a nerve problem but muscular. also - one leg is longer than the other, and I should have been wearing my slightly built up shoes indoors too (its just a raiser I put in my left shoe). Goodbye slippers will try and buy some inexpensive nice looking light trainers for home.

Just very tired and flat today looking forward to my duvet session and book maybe snooze.

Wyllow Ah Lesley Manville, thanks.
Ooh that back sounds nasty. Hope the advice about exercising differently will help. Such a nuisance when even lying down can be painful. Mine's always worse first thing on morning until I can get moving about. You are so good at looking after yourself and I'm beginning to realise that I need to be more disciplined about exercising and stretching. I think it must be getting into the habit of making that time for 'you'. I used to do exercise videos and stuff before DH retired but feel silly now doing things when he's around. He doesn't mind, its me.

Hope you get your rest and the book is good. Was film good too?

Just a quick pop on. Thank you all for your kind words. But I am just a very ordinary person. Who has just done the things because I needed to do them. People needed me and I was brought up with a strong sense of family and duty. I was brought up in a very loving extended family. Even though my dad and husband wasn't ,they got what they both needed from my mom ,me and all the family . My brother and I was lucky we where told every day how much we where loved and how proud of us our parents where . My husband said any children we have will be brought up as we where. And our children always knew they where loved and proud of them.

We all do what we have to in life and have to live by our own code and morals. Hence my not giving up on my in laws even though I hated them . I loved my husband to much to turn my back on them.

You all should be very proud of yourselves as you all have your daily struggles with ill health and that of loved ones. But you keep going and help others more than you will ever know. 🤗❤️

Doodle- glad the blood results had improved- you must have been beyond tired after spending another day in Hospital.
Hope today you’re enjoying just being at home and relaxing and that the palpitations stay away.
Candy- have a safe journey home - I,m sad that you don’t look forward to returning to your home. I guess that’s why you feel a bit anxious. That’s the thing with anxiety it lurks and grabs you when you are vulnerable. But you have been feeling better which is encouraging.
HVDY- Happy Birthday to your DH and hope you and he had a nice day with family.Friday sounded like a fun day - Golf place especially. It’s so sweet when little girls put on makeup- in a few years time they will be doing it for real!! Then the fun starts!!!
SweetPeaSue- pretty Kimono- and another photo! There,ll be no stopping you now.😀
I also What’s App with my son - can you Face Time with him as well? Thank goodness for the technology that keeps us in touch eh.
Hope you continue to feel comfortable- yes Shhhhh.
Wyllow- glad you got to see the Gym Lady. Light trainers should help you indoors- it’s so easy to forget things like your raisers. Skechers do nice light trainers but they can be a bit pricey unless you have an outlet near you.
Enjoy your Duvet time and a good rest. Your back will hopefully feel a bit better tomorrow.
Whiff - that was a nice post - thank youxx
EllieAnne- hope you are enjoying your time with your daughter.
Love to all

I find these days I struggle to stay awake, we’ve had such a busy week and today is the first day we haven’t had to get up early. Both of us are feeling sleepy and keep nodding off,
Candy I never wanted to go home when we had a caravan. I found I could cut off from things there. Yes we love our home here. The neighbours are great and we love it’s location. Also being in a flat on the second floor means I feel safe which is always a comfort.
Are you back at work on Monday?
HVDY yes you must take cutting back on steroids slowly. DH once stopped quite quickly and sunk into deep depression before we realised what it was, now whenever he has steroids he always cuts back gradually. How’s the diet going?
No we’ve got lots more appointments to come. Two this coming week and three more after that. We should live in the hospital car park. Happy birthday to Mr HVDY hope he has an enjoyable day,
Sweetpeasue I’m glad you manage to keep in touch with your son whilst he’s on the rigs, mobile phones and texting etc are are real boom these days.
Glad you’re thinking things are a bit better. Any plans for going out this weekend or are you just having a quiet one?
Scaredycat it’s funny really, you would think sitting in a hospital wouldn’t be tiring after all you’re just sitting but it is. I don’t read or do anything other than people watching. I wonder what others are there for and watch the family dynamics between them. Got chatting with a really nice family yesterday who were all visiting their dad and another poor lady who’d had a heart attack.
Still feeling a bit wobbly but the palpitations have calmed down. Had to go and get some prescriptions today so walked to the chemist. It was really nice out, so sunny.
Do you feel more energetic now? Have you been out walking again?
Whiff how lovely that your family made you feel so special. Mine were like that too. Nice to look back on those times.
Wyllow so glad you got some help with your back. Good the trainer could help you. I hope it’s less painful now.
Do you like reading in bed? I love it. Get cosy and enjoy a good book. Trouble is I keep nodding off and have to backtrack.
Ellie Anne hope you are getting on ok with your DD and not having any stress.

Wyllow I've got one leg a little bit shorter than the other, and I wear a gel heel thing. I wear ordinary trainers, from Asda, and they seem to suit. Hope you have a good rest tonight

ScaredyCat DH had a nice day, thanks - a couple of pints at the local, with our sons. Presents, cards and a lazy day . Hope you're ok.

Whiff I've always said that family is everything, and I think having close bonds with family is so important. You sound the same.

Doodle Thanks. I've got 10 tablets a day (50mg) for 4 weeks, then I have to drop 1 per week until they're finished (it'll take me until July, I think). The diet is going well, thanks. I'm starving though . Do you have to pay for parking at the hospital, or can you use the blue badge? It must be a bind, to keep having to go there, but I'm glad your husband is being seen and dealt with.

SweetpeaSue It's good that you're able to keep in touch with your son on the rigs. How often does he get home?

Hope all BDers have a relaxing evening x

I'm been catching up on all these posts with one hand while drinking tea with the other. Reached out to put my mug on the coffee table and misjudged. Mug hit the floor.. Tea all over floor and side of settee 🙄
Hopefully be able to post in the morning.
Doodle you're so in need of a good night's sleep. Its so difficult looking after someone when you're not getting one.
I hope and pray they manage to do something for your dear husband soon.

Thinking of you all and hope you have a peaceful night.

Best sleeps all, hoping os much you have both had rest *Doodle"

Re Sketchers recommendation - found some on Amazon at a lowish price. they are a bit "beige" on sale but who cares for home. I have podiatry fitted special soles to put in shoes but yes HVDY some slip in gel ones for "best" shoes when not much walking..

Best for all, back properly tomorrow. Sorry about the spill, nadateturbe.

Evening all, nice to catch up on your posts this evening. I hope you are all ok.
HVDY glad your DH has had a nice birthday. It must be nice for him to enjoy a few pints with your sons. I love being with family. The trouble is with me, the more I enjoy things, the lower I feel when it’s all over so much so I sometimes think it’s not worth it. I need to ‘live in the moment’ more and practice being grateful for all I’ve got. I really am grateful and practice gratitude daily, but for whatever reason, the lows still come. Something to do with the depression I suppose. The weather has been very mixed while we’ve been here but was lovely today 😎.
Whiff your upbringing sounds idyllic. However privileged you are, the most important thing is to have solid family foundations and be loved. My family wasn’t poor but we didn’t have a lot but my parents did the very best they could and we knew we were loved which was everything. It gives you a solid foundation from which to build.
Sweetpeasue my anxiety has settled more today thank you. We are going home tomorrow morning. I can’t really put my finger on why I don’t like my home too much. I don’t know whether it’s because it’s where I face my demons? The house itself is lovely and I’m lucky to have it but we moved there out of necessity. We needed to register with another health trust so that my son could get treatment easier so it was a win win and I’m glad we did it but it just doesn’t ‘do it’ for me. I loved my last home but it was time to go. I thought it may be because of my depression but even though I’ve been feeling a bit better, it still feels the same. My husband would be willing to move if it made me happier, but we’ll see. It’s not much different whether my husband is there or not to be honest, Although I don’t like being alone much. Honestly, I must sound like a right moaner! I’m glad you got your extra counselling sessions. I never really understand the concept of how just 6 NHS sessions is supposed to cure you. Everyone is different and it’s good that you can get more if needed. I hope they give you as much as you need. Yes, I understand your worry about your son being on the rig. I think we all see the possible dangers our children may face. I remember being on a very busy road with my son and it had a huge roundabout and my son and he said “I have to go around this on my bike to get to work”. I was beside myself with worry. I’d rather not know. I got talking to a guy at my gym who worked on the rigs and although he said it meant being away from his family a lot, it meant he got a lot of time off too and was well paid so it was worth it for him. I hope your son feels the same. Sorry you’ve got the HRT withdrawal. I hope your symptoms subside soon.
Wyllow sorry you’ve got a bad back but it’s good you got an appointment quickly. I hope the advice given helps. These things can take a while to get better but hopefully the exercises will help. Hope you enjoyed getting comfy with your book.
Scaredycat thank you for your wishes of a a safe journey home for us. It’s not very far and we’re leaving early so I think the roads will be quiet. Hope you’ve had a good day.
Doodle your home sounds so lovely, I’m very envious. Yes, back at work on Monday. Think I’ve said before, it’s a toxic environment but not one I need to put up with if it all gets too much so we’ll see. I know what you mean about it being so tiring in hospitals. It really is. I’ve spend many hours as a “healthy observer”, even living there for weeks and it’s exhausting. It’s a stressful environment and waiting for consultations, test results, procedures etc. is exhausting. I feel for you but try and get as much rest as you can in between. Hard for you though I realise. I’m glad your palpitations have calmed down too.
Going to bed now, very tired. Hope all have a restful sleep and love to all, including all those not personally mentioned xxxx

Good morning all BDers. Hope you all had a good rest (especially Doodle and husband). It's a still and mild day here. Just weighed myself - 6lbs off in a week, so I'm pleased (LOTS more to go, but I'm thinking just 1/2 a stone at a time. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

How's everyone's day going? DH and I went to son's new house - he assembled the flat-packed dining table and coffee table, I faffed about unpacking new towels, crockery and bedding. Not much else. I'm ignoring the massive pile of ironing I've got

Scaredycat Hope youve been ok today. Yes I could face-time with him bit I usually text as he can answer that when convenient. He works 12 hr shifts and doesnt have a lot of spare time. He also face-times his girlfriend and his son so I'm happy to wait until he comes home. Hope the pesky AF isnt bothering you too much.
Doodle I hope this weekend you've both managed to have some much needed time to yourself and some R&R before the upcoming appts start. I know what you mean about waiting in hospitals. It can be very tiring in itself and watching and listening, subtly of course, to others can make us feel we're not alone with problems. Mind, it can have the opposite affect too if someone looks quite poorly-that always used to make me very sad. Hope last night wasn't too bad. Car in garage yesterday. Took Aunt to harden centre this morning and she browsed a bit and we had a drink amd teacake in cafe. She's always delighted at their resident robinthat hops around the feet and tables of the people there picking up crumbs.
Nadateturbe Oh how annoying to dtop your tea over everywhere when trying to post. Its often when we're most tired that these things happen too. Hope you're ok and your weekend has been ok too.
Candy Perhaps you might consider moving when you're feeling much netter if you really can't settle where you are. I dont think we'll ever cease worrying about our AC. Yes, my son does get a fair bit of time off and of course is well paid. There's not much work around our area so often children move away to work so I'm lucky he's in same village. Hope you dont have too nad a week at work.
HVDY Well done with that weight loss - that's so good. You must have tried really hard and it's certainly not an easy thing to do. Hope your weekend hasnt been too busy.
Wyllow How are you? Did you go to the Quaker meeting? Hope your tum hasn't been too bad lately.

Hope everyone has had a reasonable weekend. Peaceful night to all amd hoping you're ok EllieAnne and Whiff x

HVDY good your DH enjoyed his birthday. Sounds like a nice relaxing day. Yes that’s how DH comes off steroids, nice and slowly. Sorry you’re so hungry. I think that will get better with time. It takes your body a while to get used to cutting back.
We’ve only just got the blue badge but I imagine we still have to pay for parking just that the blue badge allows us to park in the disabled bays closer to the hospital.
Nadateturbe DH knocked over a cup of coffee on our carpet the other week. Makes such a mess doesn’t it. Took ages for the carpet to dry out. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
Wyllow how’s your back been today? Hope you are feeling a bit better. Did you go to Quakers today?
Sweetpeasue 12 hour shifts are quite long. I imagine it’s quite hard work so probably needs to catch up on sleep too. No wonder you can’t wait to have him home again.
We were up for a bit last night but I think it was a better night.
Spent today trying to go through all the hospital letters we’ve received in the last few months and the future appointments. It’s amazing how much has happened.
Scaredycat how your sister doing and your GGS. Are they both getting on ok. Been a lovely sunny day here but DH not up to going out.
Candy DH and I have had a few different houses. Some I liked and felt comfortable in and some not so much. We looked for a long time before finding our current home, I think it’s the one we both like best but that’s probably because we’re both retire and enjoy our life together here. Holidays are nice but not so important when you don’t have to go to work.
I think my mind is a bit on overdrive at the moment trying to keep pace with all the different things we are going to and what we can eat and drink in preparing for the various appointments.
Are you back at work tomorrow? Hope it all goes well.
Ellie Anne are you still with your DD. Hope everything is ok.