Black Dog 16

HVDY I'm so disappointed for you about the unhelpful response from Rheumatology and Neurologist. I was hoping you'd get advise about whether to stop the steroids.
That was such a terrible thing for you to witness. The loss of your brother in such a way must have been so awful. Not to be able to talk about it, from your own side of things must have been deeply hurtful. I am sorry.

Yes I feel this is definitely uterus pain. When I first felt it yesterday morning I was shocked as I hadnt felt that for a while - since just after the Hysteroscopy when I was bleeding after they'd botched fibroid removal.
It was brief. Then last night like v strong period pain. Bladder pain is a bit lower.
On Gynaecologist's letter (end April) he says he has left 'patient initiated follow up for 12mths so I can contact hospital to arrange appt. How long that will be......
Scaredycat Hope that's a good 'cream crackered' and you can have some rest tonight. Thankyou for your
suggestions. Unfortunately I think a one off appt with private GP might not help as very little they can realistically do, especially with something ongoing. Hope you enjoy your day tomorrow.
EllieAnne Glad you got out for a walk today and hope you felt a little better and saw some lovely scenery.
Wyllow Yes, time. Though our surgery is bad on not allowing pre-booked appts. I haven't had appt with her for nearly 3mths. I'm history as far as she's concerned. Had 2 F2F when my retired GP left and this one doesn't want to know now. To be fair she's v busy.
You must be feeling all wrung out.
Right now I wish someone could sort everything out for me - like a 'Guardian Angel'. I guess you might feel that way too. Hope your night will be peaceful.

Wishing all a peaceful night.

Oh wouldn't a "guardian angel" be nice. your symptoms are so complex - I really feel for you.

Yes I'm wrung out but anxiety on alert all the time atm will just accept it is what it is.

I've gone and done a spoiler. I actually fell asleep to a meditation earlier (wow great) and then went to the gym so's to be with others - all good - then of course forget to enter my car registration at the gym, thats a £60 fine with wretched europarks. they brought them in as people were parking for town but it just makes me feel things out of control. Soddit. I shall affix a big notice to my gym bag.

Wyllow Glad you spent some time at gym with others.
Not great about the 60quid though.

I've had the IC for nearly 10 yrs though worse now. I'm thinking uterus pain is still Adenomyosis, noted on one MRI though not acknowledged as I'm post menopausal.

EllieAnne you are a kind person. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise. Glad you had a good walk.
Wyllow oh what a shame about the parking ticket. Can you appeal? We’ve been caught like that before
Dear Wyllow I had no idea the loss if your father was so traumatic. No support when you really needed it. Such a lot has happened in your life I’m not surprised you have trouble processing it. I do hope over time you can find some peace within yourself. That your mental and physical health reach a balance where you can get through the day with some positive experiences and feel better about the coming day.
HVDY men and cars eh. Still nice to have a lunch out. Good meal at the day centre too. Nice bit of pampering. I could do with someone to paint my nails as well.
Dh is fine thanks though we are quite tired. Been to hospital physio for me then M&S to return top and another shop to return something else. Didn’t get back home till 7.30 pm.
Losing your brother like that and witnessing it is awful. You too have suffered so much.
I bet you feel let down by the neurologist. You hope to get some answers or help then when none is forthcoming you feel disappointed and in my case I would feel angry. It’s all very well for the secretary to tell you that but you’re the one who’s suffering. Have you tried talking to your GP?
Sweetpeasue I get so frustrated on your behalf. Why can’t the doctors see what all this is doing to you. Any news on the pain clinic appointment? You see your urologist at the weekend I hope something good comes of that. Trouble is each speciality only deals with their own bit of the body. What you need is someone with joined up thinking looking at the overall picture and trying to find an answer.
I Hope tonight you don’t have that pain again.
Scaredycat you have described my feelings exactly 😊. I am so exhausted. Really had to drag myself to the shop tonight to return something but each foot felt like I had weights attached
Hope you’re having a lovely time. Yes I do understand about doing what you can while you’re able. Sleep well and have a great day tomorrow.
Whiff that’s a really nice post from you too. Hope you are having a good day.
Physio today was good but hard. Lots of measurements taken and exercises. They seem to think my hand is more swollen than it should be and suggest I hold it up above my shoulder to get the swelling down 🙄 not sure how I achieve that.
Also have to massage cream into the scar 3 times a day and do a set list of exercises. I will be busy .
I’m putting a big basket of loving hugs in the corner for everyone. Just reach in and help yourselves. There’s a never ending supply x 💕

Wyllow Not god about the parking thing. I might be wrong, but I thought it was only the police and councils who are able to issue fines. The other places are parking notices but not enforceable - at least, that's what I think. The Martyn Lewis website might explain more. £60 is steep.

SweetpeaSue I hope you manage to get through the night without all that pain. I know you've got an appointment on Saturday (?), so I hope that will go well. I feel I've wasted the past 9 weeks of being on these tablets with no benefit at all but lots of side-effects. They can't be stopped without tapering them off. Not to worry, only another 4 weeks left.

Doodle My GP wouldn't be of any use as he's not the one treating me, and would only say the same thing as the Neurology person. Would having a splint on at night help your wrist? Or a sling for a short time during the day? What a lovely idea for everyone to take a hug from a basket. x

ScaredyCat You're had a tiring day. Hope you have a good rest tonight.

EllieAnne Glad you got out today. The weather has been lovely here. Was it sunny where you are?

Been making plans to see Son1 and girls for a picnic on Saturday, and Son2 and his very pregnant GF too, if she feels up to it. Hope all BDers have a restful sleep x

Doodle Thankyou for caring. Drs at out practice cant see what it's doing because they dont see me. I should have changed surgeries long ago but hindsight a great thing. Last time I got in touch with pain management secretary she said I was down for November.
You sound so very tired. It must take a lot out of you carrying your poorly arm around. You've had such a lot this year. Physio excercise sounds difficult,Did they say how you were to perform that one!
Wonderful basket. After you Doodle.
Thankyou.

Feeling like I'm running out of help. Apart from you all of course. GP jas confirmed my thoughts that she's not going to be of help. She's not going to break the telephone appt rule for me or anyone else(rashes ect excluded). She was no help at all.
Counsellor is winding down, I feel the signals. She rang today just to confirm next appt nothing else. Ive had my quota, there will be others waiting, I understand. Only she said a while ago I could apply.
Just having a decent GP would help-someone in my corner.
I dont want to get stuck with CPP- its just a term for undiagnosed pain. Bladder P is IC and the other uterus pain has definite cause.
Anyway goodnight all. Hope you all have a dreamless, sound sleep.

HVDY It's rotten not being able to keep in touch with consultant throughout your course of tablets. 13 weeks is a long time. So sorry. Yes 4 weeks to go.
Hope you have a lovely weekend.
Yes appt with 1st Urologist Sat. X

HVDY I do have a splint which I’m wearing most of the time. You’re right it does help.
Weather is supposed to be really good this weekend. A picnic sounds a wonderful idea.
Sweetpeasue it’s no wonder you feel alone with this if your GP isn’t any help either. What are people to do if they have a health problem that no one seems to help with.
Perhaps you should change surgery. You might find a new one more sympathetic. Pain management appointment in November. It’s a joke really. How can anyone who needs pain management wait that long.
Having said all that, you will get there I’m sure. Something will help this problem. Even unexpectedly. Like DH whose RLS was helped out of the blue by the iron infusions for his anaemia.
I Hope you sleep well. We are all here to listen and care and will do our best to stop you feeling alone.

Hi Doodle glad to see you in.

HVDY its a private car park - the gym has its own parking, so they can do what they want. As its close to town and some offices people were abusing the system. They used to have a barrier and code system but they got vandalised a lot. So they have given their car parks over tot he notorious EuroParks, there is never any come back. You have to enter your car reg inside the gym but if you forget they have time stamped photos so I'll get done for it.

Best nights all. Sweetpeasue x

Have a demanding morning -taking computer into town - but can always call it off. Feel like I'll have to.

Doodle I never expected a reply from you tonight. You will be so tired. But truly, I'm v touched and so appreciatd your careing. I'm so at the end of my rope tonight. But you have helped restore my strength. Everyone here on BD is special.

I think most of us have things in our past we can't talk about, too deep and hard to bring up because you don't know where it will lead, there's nothing that will alter a tradegy or make the past right. Talking about it to a Councillor just brings those incidents back in full force and you relive them. If that worked you would only need a councellor once. Inside it's always there with us, we gloss over it in our minds, but it's there. I have had periods when nothing seemed worth carrying on for certainly not just for me, then gradually the veil lifts, could be a random act of kindness, it could be someone that needs my help more than I do, I've always been a carer, perhaps by doing that I felt needed and couldn't dwell on me. I listened to the news in France and the flood gates opened its too hard to process. I had watched tge Rob Burrows documentary about him and his wonderful wife and family, despite all the cruelty of MN their only cause is to help others. I woke up and thought that's what I should be doing.
To all of you going through all your anxieties, I know how you feel, sending you love and best wishes for that chink of light to push through.

Wyllow That's a bugger. It's a lot to have to pay out for a mistake. I hope your day goes well today.

Allsorts I suppose we all have things in our past. I didn't find counselling beneficial, but it seems to help a lot of people. I try not to watch the news, it's all so awful. I haven't seen the Rob Burrows documentary but have read about him and his lovely wife. Some people do have such a lot of sorrow in their lives. I suppose we could all try to find something good or nice to be thankful for. I'll start us off -
I'm thankful that I've got a loving family. I'm pleased that the weather is warm and sunny today.

Hope all BDers manage to have a decent day x

What a veery thoughtful post, Allsorts. Yes there is a fine line between dwelling on things past painful and putting them aside for positive things, and the sometimes compelling need to root them out.

And perhaps the same for throwing oneself into caring. There is point, purpose, and meaning in this, after all we humans stand or fall together. Often it lifts one out of oneself in the best way. When it goes wrong (speaking personally here’s) is that in the past I have “lost” myself in the needs of another to the point of only existing through that relationship. No sense self outside or beyond. Bit stuck in that as it involved getting hooked into abuse.

So HVDY you are right about “I suppose we could all try to find something good or nice to be thankful for.” As thats part of regaining a sense of self and proportion.
Mine are pretty similar…. plus gratitude for the help I get, and that my pension is enough “not to have to worry” for the foreseeable.

Todays “good or nice” was that despite last nights fears (well, with a little extra help for sleep) did not come to be: I got myself off to the computer place (after getting lost in the town one way system twice) and there was a warm welcome from the bloke who runs it - known him for 8 years. I had to take a break in the middle for my new recon to get everything onto it, so I did a gentle gym and had a toasted teacake. Then when I got back a problem to iron out so chatted to both blokes and had a laugh. (What, me have a laugh?).

I think I managed it without getting too "high" so there won't be a come donw from inner demons, but will try to remind myself that good things can happen.

BTW, we are getting near the 1000 posts mark so be on the look out for whoever gets to kick off BD17.

Wyllow3 It sounds as though you have had a good day. Glad you got your computer sorted out. Nice that you had a laugh as well.

How has everyone been today? x

Allsorts you’re right about things sticking with us. We can put them in a dark corner and forget them for a while but they are always there lurking to bring us down in our vulnerable moments. What a lovely post and thank you for your kind thoughts.
Wyllow nice to meet with some people who you can have a chat to. Hopefully your computer is fixed now. I love toasted tea cakes. That made a nice break. Glad last night wasn’t as bad as you’d feared. That’s so annoying about the car park. So easy to forget. A costly reminder.
HVDY yes it’s so easy to spend the day worried about things. We should try and make the most of life.
I had a nice arty afternoon with my friend and some delicious chocolate cupcakes. I think I might have done too much as my wrist is on fire tonight. But I’m supposed to be moving it so it’s had a good workout.
Sweetpeasue how are you today, is it tomorrow you see the urologist?
Scaredycat hope the holiday going well. You are having good weather.
EllieAnne Candy any plans for the weekend?

Glad you had a nice arty afternoon Doodle and I hope the wriest has settled by the morning!

P.s.
Something to be grateful for- today went on the river and saw my first Kingfisher!!

Just realised I lost a long post so sorry I,m too tired to do another one😩😩😩love to allxxx

Doodle Art and chocolate cupcakes. That's a lovely day. I hope your wrist settles down tonight.

ScaredyCat Oh, how special . I've never seen a Kingfisher. They are beautiful.

Mr Cooper's nemesis (a black cat from the next street) came into our kitchen (the door had been open all day) twice today. He's either hungry or he's taunting me . I'm listening to Rolling Stones music on headphones (very loudly). Hope all BDers have a restful night x

Sorry can't address everyone. Afraid things worse. Bad night and day. Had to call surgery at 4. Told to take max painkillers every 4hrs so doped up. Told him Urologist tomorrow.
Wasn't sure if to post or not. Date for op came with new Uroligist-2 weeks.
Need to ask tomorrow if he will ask other one to leave out Dist.
Please pray that I get there tomorrow.
Sorry its misery post. Pos - - - invent of painkillers. Love to all. Xx

Oh, SweetpeaSue, so sorry you've had such a bad day. Best of luck for tomorrow. Tell the Urologist everything. Hope tonight will be easier for you x

Scaredycat how lovely. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one. Hope you’re having a good time.
HVDY DH is a big Stones fan. We’ve been to see them 3 times at Wembley……..I’ve just about got my hearing back 🤣
Sweetpeasue certainly thinking of you in my prayers. So sorry you’ve had such an awful time. Do hope you make it tomorrow. Will your DH go with you?
Yes as HVDY says, tell him everything. Wishing you luck. x
Thanks Wyllow . I’ve creamed hand and wrapped it up for the night but the top still hurts a lot. Hope you sleep well

I've only seen one once, Scaredycat. I've been playing music on new computer, the quality is superb.

Sending special hugs and sympathy, Sweetpeasue.
You probably have lots of information - please start with the terrible pain you get.
I hope the urologist is kind and a good listener x

I'm going to start a Black Dog 17 as this is about the last post. I'll start it with Scaredycats same words and welcome all.

Just wondering how everyone has been today - particulary SweetpeaSue x