Be kind to the deaf

That's a friend to cancel.

I too rely on two hearing aids and usually end up feeling that I’m a nuisance to others. It’s a very misunderstood disability. Getting people to understand, and remember, that we need context to work out what’s being said seems impossible and I find medical staff the worst. That said I do come across people who make a real effort, some of my supermarket delivery drivers being the best.

I too wear hearing aids, and if a so-called friend re-acted like that they would be an ex-friend.

People who have good hearing cannot imagine what it is like. But there is no need for rudeness like that!

I wouldn't call her a friend, quite the opposite.

Thanks all, I agree!

She doesn't sound like a real friend

That's an ex friend then...

It irritates me if I ask someone to speak louder because of my deafness and they then shout and laugh as if it was funny, so rude 🤨

NanKate

It irritates me if I ask someone to speak louder because of my deafness and they then shout and laugh as if it was funny, so rude 🤨

I agree NanKate. Shouting does not mean you will hear. Speaking clearly is what they need to do.

I'd have said something at the time.
Dump her and tell her why.

Agree with all the above. Why is deafness not given the same sympathy as being blind? No one would use Jokes and rolling eyes about blindness.
It can be exhausting for a deaf person to concentrate on conversations and too easy just to cut off. Also the ‘only hear if they want to’ really does not understand how difficult it is.

I rang Virgin the other day and explained my dh couldn’t hear on the phone. I also had to apologise for not having brilliant hearing. She asked if I had any objection to being called disabled. I said “not at all” and they gave me a discount on my bill. So there is understanding out there. As for your “friend” don’t bother with her. I have a friend who often has to repeat things when I have forgotten to put a hearing aid in and she apologises to me!

I have experienced the same. I always say at the start of medical appointments etc that I wear hearing aids and may mishear. Generally those are fine.

But in social situations reactions certainly vary. And for some reason the fact that you mishear or take longer to process or whatever is sometimes seen as a sign that you are stupid!!

A "friend" which did that to me OP .....I would have said immediately "I know having to repeat yourself id irritating. If you arent willing to tolerate my hearing problem and adapt accordingly to help me then let's finish our meet up now!!" People need to realise the impact of their behaviours

A dear friend and neighbour has two hearing aids which she often forgets to wear. She has a note on the back of her front door to remind her to put them in. I'm aware of this potential so always sit facing her if possible and with a wall behind her. I know her well enough now to ask if her hearing aids are in!
I was sad to hear from one of the ladies in the ward where I volunteer that she thought it was very good that the NHS employed so many deaf staff. She was very positive about it. It just meant that they ignored her when she called out or pressed her buzzer.

I speak very clearly (and actually rather too loudly) because my father was deaf and wore a hearing aid.

He used to say that people who can't walk have a wheelchair, people who can't see have a stick, but people who are deaf are "just stupid".

How very thoughtless and unkind. No friend.

My mother-in-law seems to only put in her hearing aids when going out - this is annoying (even for me) as I'm usually visiting her at home.

I think the hearing-aid note should be on the bathroom mirror - not the door, Aveline, then your neighbour is set up for the day and my mother-in-law would be ready for conversations with guests!

I have a hearing aid which makes my ear really itch, so I rarely wear it. They are not always comfortable or easy to use.
Crowded places are always awkward and if struggling with noise I manage by watching facial expressions, if they look sad or happy I nod and smile or look sorry as appropriate.
My dh has two aids, has no problems and finds them quite comfortable so wears them every day, but still, he doesn't always hear me. Its an invisible handicap.
Bring back ear trumpets, no confusion or judgement then.

silverlining48 - is it possible that a different earpiece/design may suit better?
Maybe that would be worth exploring if you haven't done so.

How irritating! In both senses.

The neighbour I mentioned is always worried about losing her hearing aids (she's lost one already) so is scared to wear them outside. Also the amplification can be unpleasant depending on location and level of background noise. It's good that she feels able discuss it so openly so we all know the situation.

I marginally need them, and got some comfy ones, but its difficult as I sometimes go to the gym in the morning, (aids out and in again), come home and have a snooze (aids out and in again)...and live alone in a detached house so no one to complain of TV....getting lazy.

I have tried notspaghetti, but nothing they could do. Not sure if relevant but unlike the rest of me, my ears are tiny, child size, as are my veins, always a nightmare when I have a blood test.
As long as I am opposite someone, or sitting with my good ear closest to them I am ok, but crowded places with lots of noise are always difficult.

I've had aids for years, deafness runs in my family. The one upside is that you can get a disabled railcard instead of a senior one, the disabled one is slightly cheaper.

I wonder if your hearing aid "people" could order in a "child size" earpiece silverlining? - Assuming they haven't already tried this of course.

Sorry that aids seem to be a problem for so many. I know they have improved over the years (and more options) but I think my father must have been very lucky in that he didn't often have many problems with his - they were built into his glasses frame.
I expect that they don't need to do that now as many are so tiny.