Black Dog 17

Wyllow Although you're missing the swimming at the moment, aqua aerobics might be good - as Doodle says, there is a bit of a social side to it (I see some familiar faces each time), and you wouldn't get your wound wet. I hope the Black Dog stays away today.

Ellie Of course you have value. You're one of us on here. My memory is terrible. I can't always remember faces and names, and that woman is probably the same.

Joane123 Thanks. Hope you are well too.

SweetpeaSue The cool water did ease the burning feeling in my legs, thanks. I'm so very pleased that you managed to have a good day. Hope the weekend is good too.

Doodle You and your husband certainly deserve a lovely holiday after all you've been through. I hope you both have a wonderful time.

MrsHat We on here all know that feeling. The Black Dog comes to us all now and again. Keep posting, we're all here to support each other.

Hope all BDers manage to have a decent (and cooler) day x

Wyllow the reason I asked about aqua was wondered if that could be something you could join for the social side of things too. I wish I could swim like you. I could manage a bit when younger but would sink like a stone now.
Sweetpeasue I really hope all goes well and your consultant knows what he’s doing, even if his manner isn’t then best.

Added - Sweetpeasue very understandable feelings, but if you dont get it done you'll be forever wondering if they could have found something - I know, Hobsons choice...

Good evening mrshat yes the Black Dog is and often worse at night. Keep on with your struggles and I wish for you to get that sleep.

Not aqua, Doodle. I've always been a strong swimmer since lessons any age 8 and swim backstroke easily, just limit how long. 10 mins can ease stiffness. I find being in the water very calming (unless the pool is heaving), so look forward to getting back to it. The botanical Gardens have a cafe but hey close the gardens at 5. Out and about in the High Peak is full of Ex memories but there are places I can think of with nice cafes, it's a matter of making them my own? So glad your arm hasn't stopped your holiday and hooray seaside, so I wish you a week of about 21 degrees? Hope you sleep OK there too.

. I picked up a bit this evening after posting here (could even be related :0) and watched a dream rail trip across Italy. I used to watch them a lot.

Tough to keep trying, ElllieAnne., once is easily so vulnerable.

Sweetpeasue so good to hear. Out and about a bit. x

Nice to see you pop in Joanne, all the best.

Mrshat Welcome. I'm really sorry you're finding it hard every day but I know that nights can be particularly bad. I think it's when we feel most alone. I do hope you manage a better night's sleep tonight. Be kind to yourself - I know thatcan be the hardest thing.
Doodle Thankyou. I'm so glad you and your DH are having a holiday. You both deserve one so much after all you've had to cope with.
I feel I've no choice about next week's procedure as I need someone to look inside bladder, yet I dont think anything will be found. I wish I didnt have to have the full Distention with it. I'm very doubtful of it's efficacy in IC, as are many proffessionals, but this Urologist won't engage with patient's feelings about it. I'm so scared about it.
Hope you both sleep well.

Mrshat sorry the BD is getting to you. Sounds like this is a path you’ve trod before. You are welcome to post here whenever you like. We can’t provide solutions only to listen and support. I Hope you get that sleep you need. Nighttime’s can be a problem for many. Easier to be distracted during the day. x
sweetpeasue it has cheered me no end to hear you’ve had a good day. They have been so few and far for you recently.
I too hope you have a good night. Next week will be a big hurdle for you and I can well understand the anxiety. I’m praying it will help and you get some relief from your pain.
DH and I are off on holiday Monday. Wi fi will be intermittent as we will be at sea but I will be in touch whenever I can and always thinking of you all.
Been packing today in thus heat. 🥵 so exhausted now .

Don't you just hate this 'black dog' who appears with little or no warning and leaves you struggling - despite determination to fight it and not let it get you down, it creeps in, more and more and eventually 'gets' you. However, sometimes you can manage to stop it in its tracks and you manage, slowly, to improve. I'm still fighting at the moment - some sleep would be welcome. Lovely helpful thread - thank you. xx

WhiffThat was a truly lovely post. Thankyou. I hope you've been ok today and not been troubled with too much pain.
HVDY Phew, I hope the baby arrives soon. Poor girl must be so hot. I had son 1 in thesummer of 76. When I think of the heat then, I always remember walking along eating these over ripe peaches that I'd bought on offer, juice dripping from them. They never tasted that good again! 😋
Its awful that your legs keep burning from the inside. Did the cool water help when you were in the pool?
EllieAnne You are such a very kind person and a wonderful mum, the way you help son and daughter out. I'm usually the quietest in my book group and it's not because I haven't anything I'd like to say, but because I'm afraid of speaking and it sounding silly or getting mixed up or someone asking me to explain what I mean. I often come out wondering why I said this or didn't say that. I think we might be similar in that we don't have the self confidence to believe in ourselves. Feeling 'forgettable'. That lady may have come away thinking oh yes I remember that lady from last Christmas--she's the nice lady that helped out. Or she may just simply have a bad memory. I'm so sorry you feel so worthless but you aren't alone in that feeling. 💐
Nadateturbe Oh you sound so weak and feeble in your body - I hope this period ends soon and you can get around. Not sleeping will make you feel awful too. I don't know what to suggest to help. I hope taking your medication will eventually ease the pain and help you to rest and sleep. Thinking of you.
Doodle Thankyou for all of your wise words. I understand what you mean about the molehill and mountain analogy--not ridiculous sounding but v true. We all believe each other's anxieties and worries.
Oh I do agree about the nastiness and aggression online. It's frightening, and words can cause tremendous hurt. Hope you and DH are coping in this heat.
Wyllow Sorry about your bad BD wakeup. It's a shame you can't swim with the shoulder wound. Only 2 weeks to go. What you said to Nadateturbe is true for many, that its the little contacts that can help. It's such a shame that interacting with people, even in supermarkets, is becoming less with the self-serve machines. F2F with GPs a scarcity.
I hope your back is bearing up and your gentle gym session helps.
Scaredycat Think you might be behind me but hoping you're ok. So hot here and no rain forecast till Sunday afternoon here. Keeping going with the watering can on all my potatoe buckets and containers. Always say we won't do it next year but do.
Joanne123 Good of you to send us your kind wishes for the evening. Hope you are ok too and thankyou.

Pleased to say it's been a good day today. Shop and cafe this morning and in garden and some reading this afternoon. Crossed fingers for. tonight. I'm blotting out thoughts for next week, just want it to be over.

Hoping you all have a restful and trouble free night. X

Joanne it’s lovely when people pop in and let us know they are around. Thank you. And to you too x
HVDY wow one of your sons was a whopping size. Both mine were just over 7lb.
Oh EllieAnne please don’t think that. The lady you were with at Christmas might be a bit like me. I have a dreadful memory for faces. I have been doing mother and toddler group with the same person for nearly a year now. I am unlikely to recognise her if we passed on the street. I have also done three shifts with two other people but I can’t remember what they have said about themselves. It’s not because they weren’t interesting. I enjoyed meeting them at the time. And it’s not because I don’t care. I have always been like this. We once lived opposite a couple for several years. When the husband knocked on our door one day I had no idea who he was .
I have worked with many people in my job. Others say oh you remember so and so and the reality is I dont. Not because they aren’t important but I just don’t remember. If you are one of those who do remember it’s lucky because you know the person and can talk to them about things.
There are many people like me who not only can’t remember faces they can’t remember things from their own past. It is very sad because you miss the joy of picturing and re living happy times. You are not invisible and you do have value. You are one of us . 💕
nadateturbe don’t underestimate the effect of the heat even if you don’t feel it. Some days walking from the bedroom to the lounge wears me out and we’re all in one floor. Is there a plan for your ongoing treatment?
Wyllow are there some places you could drive to locally where there is some nice scenery but also a cafe or something where you can see others. I’ve been awake for hours the last two nights. Last night I got up and sat in the armchair.
Do you go to an aqua class too (when you are able)?
I think although many post here with troubles and worries we also try and help others too. Just like you do.
Sweetpeasue Candy Whiff hope you are ok.

Just wanted to call in to wish you all a peaceful evening and some sleep for the night ahead. With love to you all xx

I know it’s trivial but I knew who she was and made a point of asking her about the things I know she is involved in in the church. It happens to me so often that I feel like giving up as if I’m totally forgettable and have no value.

Had to do too much today so after a sleep had a black dog wake up and CFS symptoms.

Fed up of all I can do is essentials to keep things going, don't want to miss all the sun ie have little outings to get benefit nature etc. I have a car, and countryside close by: it's just difficult venturing out alone there never was easy for me.

My last 2 nights been better sleep wise tho not long periods wakefulness in the night tho woken agitated

I did do 50 gentle mins at gym tho before overdoing it. Must let that count.

Whiff good post as ever.

HVDY two of you told to diet - will it make it easier to do it together? Crossing fingers and toes the birth goes well. I'm off swimming for another 2 weeks (lump op healing) in this heat I miss the pool as an option. Aqua is very popular at the gym its on 5 times a week.

Doodle oh true wise words "Also many people don’t have anyone to offload to or don’t want to let loved ones know how bad they feel. I Hope all who read or post on this thread feel safe to say how they’re feeling knowing they will get support even if that’s just a willingness to listen"

nadateturbe thats a long time to be "out of it" CFS wise. Hoping for you that you can venture out into the world enough not to feel so isolated. It's often the little contacts with people everyday that help - the natter in the shop, the sitting in a cafe.

ElllieAnne so hard when everyone else is chatting away and you've been left out.

Warm BD thoughts for those not in today and readers not writers.

nadateturbe What is the GP doing about your symptoms? You aren't Anaemic? I hope you get something sorted out and start feeling better soon.

EllieAnne I had him normally! (pain relief, stitches, of course, though). I'm 5ft 1 and it was a nightmare being pregnant. Don't worry about that woman forgetting you - Christmas was ages ago, people have been doing things, seeing people, etc., since then. It's not that you're forgettable, it's that she is forgetful. Don't take it to heart.

Aqua aerobics was good, and the pool was lovely and cool. It's boiling hot here x

10lb13!!! Wow.
My biggest was 6lb 13
The sun has gone away. I’m so disappointed. But it’s been a long good spell.
I do hope baby arrives soon.pineapple is supposed to help but my d in l ate loads and it didn’t make any difference.
I’m feeling invisible again. When I was helping at a church thing on Wed night one of the other ladies didn’t know who I was. We worked together making up hampers at Christmas. I’m obviously very forgettable. And when it happens so often it hurts.

Doodle pains, not severe but wearing, extreme fatigue, not sleeping, feeling faint continually, going into second week, trying not to let it get me down. Seen no one but husband. Perhaps the heat isn't helping but I haven't felt hot really.
Blood tests showed nothing apart from raised liver AP, which apparently is common. I hope I improve soon.

Doodle No, he hasn't got fluid retention (he's got a gut though). He'd been on Diuretics, for what they said was fluid in his lungs - the tablets made no difference at all, and if fact, he was weeing far less often than me (I'm not on diuretics). GP told him not to bother taking them now.

Whiff I had Son1 in this type of heat (end of July). He was 6lbs 14, a month early. Son2 was 10lbs 13oz! Luckily, the baby we're waiting for is apparently an average size.

I'm looking forward to aqua aerobics at 2. It'll be refreshing to get into a cool pool. My damned legs feel as though they're on fire (but not hot to the touch). Hope everyone is managing to keep cool x

Hello nadateturbe. Is it very hot where you are? That adds to the feeling of exhaustion too. Hope you and all on BD have a better day.

Dear Whiff that’s a very lovely post. Thank you.
Nothing is trivial here. One persons mole hill is another’s mountain (that sounds ridiculous now I’ve written it but I hope you know what I mean). No hierarchy of troubles here.

There is so much nastiest and sarcasm around these days especially online. When you are feeling bad mentally or physically you don’t have the energy to get involved in agressive behaviour. Also many people don’t have anyone to offload to or don’t want to let loved ones know how bad they feel. I Hope all who read or post on this thread feel safe to say how they’re feeling knowing they will get support even if that’s just a willingness to listen. We do support each other but are not a closed unit and all are welcome to join in.
Your daughter sounds a nice person. Glad she was able to help you with the bed.
HVDY does your DH have fluid retention I wonder? My DH lost over a stone after GP put him in diuretics.
Fingers crossed your new grandchild arrives safely soon. Must be very uncomfortable for her now.

Mental , physical or both pain is exhausting but you all keep going even if you are at your lowest

So true Whiff. An Inspirational group indeed.
Thanks for kind comments. Hoping you are all OK today.

HVDY I only say what I mean. My memory can cause me problems because of the HPX but never lie as I couldn't remember what I said. That's why with friends if they want the truth then they know they will get it from me. I have always been like this since a child no intention of changing now.

Hope the baby comes this weekend but at least they have a plan of action in place it doesn't. Don't fancy being on a labour ward in this heat. It was boiling when I had both my children by emergency c section. My daughter was 8lb 4oz and my pelvis wasn't wide enough this was found out after being in labour for 10 hours. Went into labour with my son at 36.5 weeks but was due to have elective c section but my son decided to come early. Mind you both children where early my husband always said it was because I hated being late for anything.

My daughter if she had know how much damage and how long it took to feel well after a forceps delivery she would have opted for that as she was in terrible pain 9 months after her first born . She told c section from the beginning when she had his brother and recovered in 4 weeks.

Exciting time a new member of your family. And the start of sleepless nights and a life time of worry but also unconditional love.

Whiff You've been through such a lot in your life (and still suffer with some things), yet you always have time to say such encouraging and inspiring words to others.

No sign of baby yet - due today - but mum to be has been told she'll be allowed to go until 26th, and if baby isn't here by then, they'll do a Caesarean. I'm hoping she'll arrive this weekend (it'll be Son2's 1st Father's Day). Hope all BDers have a decent (not too hot) day x

SweetpeaSue So sorry you've been in pain again. Taking the painkillers and keeping on top of it seems the best thing to do at the moment. Glad you got to see your GS.

ScaredyCat DH has been told to take 2 BP pills and to lose a bit of weight (he's 2st overweight. Wish that's all I needed to lose).

Thank you all for your kind words and support. My daughter came after work yesterday and put a clean sheet on for me. She like you had told me it could happen to anyone. It seemed so trivial to what you are going through .

Because of the mental and physical pain you are going through as I have said before that's why this thread is so important. It's a safe place where people can talk about how they feel and know there is no judgement but understanding,un dieing support, friendship and knowing someone cares how you feel is worth its weight in gold.

I wish medical professionals could read the posts to see what damage some of them have done to some of you.

Mental , physical or both pain is exhausting but you all keep going even if you are at your lowest . And no matter how bad you feel you still help others. There are few other threads on GN who offer the same support for whatever is happening in a person's life. But this is the only health one that people can come and know not matter how trivial like me feels my worries are lifted by you . You really are a very special group of brave and strong women. I know some of you don't think you are but you are you face every day as it comes even if you know it's a day full of pain both mental , physical or both but you still keep going. Many people would give up but you don't. And that's down to knowing you have eachothers back and always will.

Thankyou so much Doodle. x

Sweetpeasue absolutely agree with Wyllow. We celebrate the good days and good news and commiserate and support on the not so good days. I’m pleased you felt able to post. You have helped and supported others in the past. You can always come here to say how you feel.
So glad you got to visit your son and spend time with your DGS.