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Black Dog 18

(1001 Posts)
Wyllow3 Sat 05-Aug-23 21:50:29

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.

For newcomers, there are some people who post regularly, some occasionally, and some like to read. so some post will be "carrying on" discussions, but new sharing always welcome.

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 22-Aug-23 20:34:50

EllieAnne Hope your jelly turns out well. Good of you to stay in and wait for the engineer at your son's. It'll be nice for you to see the children after school.

ScaredyCat I had my hair cut last week. It's about 2in past my collar (short for me). I wish I'd had a sister (had 3 older brothers - just the eldest one left) When do you think you might see your son? Good that you can FaceTime each other, at least.

Doodle Hope your husband's appointment went well, and that you get on well tomorrow. Is the wrist any easier now? I know people fall in care homes, but this is the 2nd one in only 2 weeks, and each time she was there less than 20 hours. It's really poor. Not enough carers, probably. I've worked in homes, briefly, and hated it. It was Son2, the one with the baby, who came. He's just gone.

SweetpeaSue I see. I'd never heard of "false passage" before. I'm glad that at least you haven't had much pain today. Hope you have a better night tonight.

SIL went to A & E at 2pm, is still waiting for someone to look at the xray results. Brother told someone will know by 9.30!

Hope ALL BDers have a restful night. x

Doodle Tue 22-Aug-23 20:45:59

Sweetpeasue I’ve been reading an article in BBC online news about a woman in constant pain through endometriosis. I relise this is not what you suffer from but the pain sounds the same intensity. She was saying that Pilates has helped her manage her pain better. I wonder if it might help you.
Sorry you were in a bad way again. Glad the Oromorph and diazepam helped you sleep. Better day today, that’s good.

Doodle Tue 22-Aug-23 20:47:55

HVDY wrist is still very stiff but I don’t notice it so much in normal day to day activities. Just when I bend my wrist and my fingers feel tight.
You poor SIL that’s a long wait. She must be very confused

Wyllow3 Tue 22-Aug-23 20:59:12

Not any better but wanted to check in not coping well at all struggle everything everyday and state of mind tho counsellor understanding so much stuff cant pick anything out sick in heart and mind so much stuff have written about already. Not washing and eating hard yes I need a carer!

yes Sweetpeasue yes there is that repeating thing understood - glad meds were there for you.

You did well with the brambles (yes we call them that locally too) despite the nettle invasion of Ellie Anne

And Doodle don't know about coping with family you've certainly been busy with appointments. Hoping that reducing the meds helps DH.

HVDY sorry to hear SiL news, poor lady. glad you got your hair done. Many sympathies about your legs.

Candy hope you made it to Pilates.

Scaredycat I'm so glad you got to see sis and the love there, and the meal and FaceTime.

nadateturbe Tue 22-Aug-23 21:07:51

Good evening, not great so just saying hello. Terrible neck pain from yesterday. Took a whole amitriptyline 10mg and have been semiconscious all day. (I normally only take half a pill). Never again.
Have read all your posts, hopefully back tomorrow.
So sorry about SiL and Day centre closing HVDY

Could not eat last night's dinner.
Got text from husband downstairs. "Do I want last nights cold salmon and pasta from fridge or chicken dinner. 🙄

Scaredycat Tue 22-Aug-23 21:30:54

HVDY- don’t know when I,ll see my son next but as Doodle says it’s so good to be able to speak and see him often via FT.
Oh that’s a long wait for your SiL - do you think perhaps she fell again cos she felt disorientated by the move? Hope she hasn’t done any lasting damage.

Doodle- hope the physio appt goes well- are you still doing the exercises ? Hope DH check up went ok. I think you should have your own parking space at H.
Enjoy your lunches with your DSs.
2 GDs live close by and one has 2 children. The other GD lives a couple of hours away and has 1 child. You are right it’s lovely when all generations get together. I am lucky to have 3 lovely grown up step children and their families too.
SweetPeaSue- glad you are persevering with the ADs and they are without any side effects.
So sorry your mind is so full of turmoil but good news that you have had a virtually pain free day.
Wyllow- how I wish I could just give you a big hug. So sorry you feel so wretched. Please try and eat something so you don’t get too weak.
Have you spoken to your Sis today ? I hope you get some beneficial sleep tonight - thinking of you.
Nadateturbe- sorry about the awful neck pain - you must feel woozy after the meds.
Did you chose the chicken?
Hope you sleep restfully tonightxx
Love to all

Doodle Tue 22-Aug-23 21:52:22

Wyllow sorry you are feeling so bad. Not eating won’t help. Is there something you could have delivered that would tempt you. Like Scaredycat I’m wondering if you’ve spoken to your sister. Have you any other MH appointments coming up. Do you need a change or increase of meds do you think? Sending a hug from me too.
nadateturbe so sorry about your neck. Sounds really painful.
Perhaps a good nights sleep will help. Hope you managed to eat tonight.
Scaredycat to be honest no I’m not doing the exercises. I keep forgetting. I am using my hand all the time for things now. Carrying things and trying to do normal jobs. No splint anymore. I think I’m just hoping that by using it normally it will get better. Be interesting to see how I compare with the others in the group tomorrow.
Sleep well all x

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 22-Aug-23 21:53:16

Doodle I suppose having plates in your wrist will cause your wrist to feel quite stiff. SIL has got a fused ankle (plates and screws) from an accident years ago. Are your fingers swollen?

Wyllow3 If only I lived near, I'd help you. You really ought to have something to eat, even if just snacks.

nadateturbe Who would have thought that a bit of an increase in the Amitriptyline would make you feel so odd shock. What did you choose for your dinner?

ScaredyCat SIL still waiting, apparently, for someone to look at the xrays. She only had an operation less than 2 weeks ago, to repair a fractured head of her femur, so it's not anywhere near healed yet. She was apparently left alone in her room, after lunch. She's got that, as well as a fused ankle on the other side, which doesn't bend. Alzheimer's, too. She may have needed the toilet, wanted a drink, felt lonely, or just wondered where she was sad.

Going to watch tv for a while, so "see" everyone tomorrow x

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 23-Aug-23 09:21:23

It's a dull morning here but perhaps it'll brighten up. I spoke, last night, at 11.30, to a doctor who was looking after SIL. They planned to keep her in, assess her mobility as her x-rays looked ok. It turns out they discharged her an hour later, at 12.30 back to the new home. I'll visit her this afternoon. The home is obliged to report the fall to Social Services, so an investigation will be done. Poor SIL. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Doodle Wed 23-Aug-23 17:13:05

HvDY no my fingers aren’t swollen any more just a bit numb. Been to physio today and had a really tough workout so aching a bit now but I think I did quite well.
It amazes me the time that they send people home from hospital. Fancy sending someone in your SILs condition at that time of night and to a new home too. Poor woman won’t know is she’s coming or going. How confusing for her.
Good you’re going to see her. Hope she’s ok.
We are going out for meal with son tonight. Not had much to eat today in preparation 🤣
Thinking of you all and hoping today is ok.

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 23-Aug-23 18:23:12

Doodle How many physio sessions have you got left? Saw my SIL, she was extremely tired, kept dozing off (unsurprisingly). When she was awake, she was very confused, now appears to think she's going to live with her 1st husband (my brother is 3rd) and his wife. She hasn't seen him for about 40 years sad. Enjoy your evening. Hope you have a lovely time. My Son1 is coming round for dinner at 7.

How has everyone been? x

Doodle Wed 23-Aug-23 22:53:26

HVDY such a shame about your SIL. Very confusing for her.
I’ve got another two sessions of physio booked and maybe more after that depending on how I’m doing.
Have a nice time with your son.
We had a nice meal out. Very tired and very full now.
Thinking of all those not posting or struggling tonight. Said a prayer in church for all of you this morning. x

Wyllow3 Wed 23-Aug-23 23:12:33

Thank you Doodle.

Bests to all BD's xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 24-Aug-23 14:07:06

How's everyone getting on? I did aqua aerobics this morning (no day centre - they had a trip to some shopping centre, not something I like doing). Part of the pool was roped off for about 20 young (in their 20s) people with learning disabilities, and their carers. They all seemed to love it, and because several of them were unable to speak, they were making a lot of "whooping" noises to express their enjoyment. It was really heartwarming to see, and made me even more aware of how fortunate I am to be as well as I am. Hope ALL BDers are having a decent day x

nadateturbe Thu 24-Aug-23 18:35:18

Good evening HVDY, I do envy you, I used to love aqua aerobics. But as you say seeing others makes you grateful. young people who will never be able to do what you have done makes one appreciative.
However, when you're having a bad time, it's easier said.
It's sad about your SiL, it's sad for the rest of the family too. I think the poor lady must be very confused with being in hospital and sent back to the second home at such an hour. Disgraceful really.
Doodle I didn't remember about the plates in your wrist. I'm sure that will take a long time to heal. So unfortunate that it happened. Like you I never remember to do exercises, same with friends. And sometimes the exercises hurt. I'm sure doctors must know lots of us don't. Maybe we should make more effort. Not writing much more, I thinki I've strained muscles in my neck and arm, I lifted something very heavy on Monday. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!
Thank you for your prayers, very much needed and appreciated.
Wyllow3 and Sweetpeasue thinking of you. Hope you are ok.
Scaredycat I hope you are ok. I was thinking of you the last few days as I had palpitations, thankfully they've eased.
I chose the fresh chicken dinner, rather than cold pesto and salmon, a difficult decision. My husband probably ate the salmon.

nadateturbe Thu 24-Aug-23 18:37:05

I'm not sure my post reads well, I'm not 100% at the minute (am I ever 100%?)

nadateturbe Thu 24-Aug-23 18:53:44

EllieAnne I admire you making bramble jelly. It's one of my favourites. But I have never made jam. I'm sure your homemade is delicious. how is your week going?
Candy you sound so active. After a day working too! good for you!
Being a long distance granny isn't as easy as living close, in my experience, but I'm sure you'll make the most of it, when it happens.
Hello to Whiff and any others reading.
I hope everyone is having a good or at least ok evening.
thinking of you all.

Sweetpeasue Thu 24-Aug-23 19:25:35

Doodle Thankyou so much for your prayers. I hope your wrist isnt aching so much today. Not sure about Pilates though some gentle yoga might be doable. I really should commit to something. My knees and back are a big problem right now.
HVDY So sorry about your SIL's treatment and not getting the stability she needs and familiarity with one place. It can't be right discharging people late at night at all.
Hoping SIL seemed comfortable when you saw her this afternoon.
Nadateturbe Do hope the strained muscles will ease. Its difficult when we need to move things and we dont have the strength we used to have. Thankyou for your prayers, thats really kind.
EllieAnne Hope you are coping ok and managing your walks.
Wyllow I think of you and how you are every day. Hoping the bowel pain isnt too bad. I know if you're not eating they can become sluggish too. Its so easy to fall into a pattern of never getting hunger pangs the less you eat. I know it happened to me years ago. Sending love and hugs.

Sorry not been in. The simplest decisions can set off terrible anxiety and end up mentally and physically exhausting. Husband says never seen me like this and when I ask him is this me he says its really not me. I chose wool to knit and taken it back twice and pulled out 3 different knits. Nothing is right. I'm not right. He is feeling a little better he says. Running out of Oramorph again and given runaround today, eventually told to get Drs appt tomorrow. Ive panicked so much about it, Husband ringing receptionist's tomorrow.

CandyWhiff*Allsorts and all BDs hoping you're coping and have restful night.
.

Doodle Thu 24-Aug-23 20:00:38

HVDY it’s so lovely to hear you talk about those with learning disabilities with kindness rather than complaint about the noise they were making. Those poor people have little enough joy in life it’s heartwarming to hear about them having a good time.
nadateturbe I chose to have an operation to have a plate to fix my broken wrist as I had read that at my age it meant recovery was quicker. It was unfortunate but I am still grateful as it could have been so much worse. Like you, probably, I pray a lot. I’m not a good person but I do believe and I pray constantly for family, friends and those I know or read of.
I have always done so since a child.
Hope your arm and neck feel better soon.
Your post is fine. Never worry on this thread we are non judgmental ( and there was nothing wrong with it anyway)
Sweetpeasue I wonder if a small Pilates or yoga class would do you some good. A kind teacher, someone who understands pain. Perhaps try phoning some locally and see what help they could give.
I have bought an aerobic stepper. I have put it where I have a chair close by and do five steps with different leading legs every couple of hours. I think it helping. My knees are awful and have been for years.
I’m glad your DH is a bit better. I Hope that happens for you too soon. Be brave with the doctors receptionist? Wish I could phone for you. I can be quite assertive when dealing with DHs problems.
Wyllow thinking and praying for you often. Hope you come through this patch and feel better soon. This too will pass. Sounds easy to say but it does happen. x

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 24-Aug-23 20:52:18

nadateturbe Hope your neck soon feels better. Have you tried Voltorol cream or anything?

SweetpwaSue My brother went to see his wife today, said she seemed cheerful and settled. She's using a zimmer frame to move about (only when carers or physios are with her). I've never liked those things, they're so flimsy. He's got a Delta frame (3 wheeled walker thing) and is going to take it tomorrow. They're heavier but much more stable, and they have brakes. Hope your husband gets on ok when ringing the GP. You will feel better, mentally, when the ADs kick in, I'm sure.

Doodle A couple of the older ladies in our aqua group did look displeased about all the noise. I felt lucky that I'm able to do things they can't do, and also lucky that my own children and grandchildren are healthy. I used to work at a private home for 3 men (between 30 and 60 then, I was about 50) with learning difficulties. I used to take them shopping, to social clubs, discos, cinema, even to the circus. They used to love their outings.

Got an appointment for DH with the GP next week, about his cough (he's had it for at least 9 months, probably longer), and I'll do the talking grin. The hospital hasn't bothered to see him since February (?). He's had no diagnosis or treatment at all. I feel he should have lung function tests. I've already made a diagnosis, via Dr Google.........

Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

nadateturbe Thu 24-Aug-23 20:53:51

Sweetpeasue I do think it's ridiculous that you have difficulty getting repeat prescriptions. I have a list of repeats, (not many, I hasten to add) but they are ordered automatically. I don't have to clear it with a GP. I think you should tell them it's bad enough suffering pain, without having the stress of arguing for painkillers. Maybe think what you want to say, and write it down before ringing. I'm sorry things are so bad for you. All made worse by the stress of what happened.
I think some very gentle exercise might help. Worth a try, just take it very slowly.
Don't worry about not posting. I don't think anyone should ever feel obliged to post. Better to post when you feel able and have time.
Doodle of course, it could have been worse. We have to be positive.
It's lovely that you have prayed all those years. I didn't for quite a long time, after my son's accident. I lost my faith for a while.
Great idea buying the stepper. I think if your knees are weak, step aerobics is good, if you live in an apartment, as you don't have the exercise of going up and down stairs during the day. "good". We can try to be good, but we're human, we're not perfect. I think most of us just do our best. You're a very thoughtful person.
Goodnight all.

Sweetpeasue Thu 24-Aug-23 21:20:01

Doodle I can/used to be assertive if really necessary but just not now. I couldnt join any group right now, it fills me with terror. Glad the stepping is working out for your knees. We have stairs so I try and go up and down them when I can. I often have to haul myself up by the bannister. I can feel the meniscus moving to the side if I bend my left knee backwards so am trying to be careful but keeping it mobile as much as I can. What we took for granted when we were younger eh?
HVDYThe Delta frame sounds much better I agree. Glad she was cheerful when your brother went.
So good you have an appt for your DH. Everything is getting shelved at present, I don't know if the NHS will ever be the same. Hope you make headway with GP next week.
Nadateturbe Thanks for your concern, but the Oramorph isnt on repeat. I'm not sure if its because its an opioid. You are v understanding and I know you find it difficult posting yourself, thankyou. Take care of yourself.

Wyllow3 Thu 24-Aug-23 21:23:40

nadateturbe you wrote earlier, "was I clear*.
Believe me, I have read and cared about everything I've read and thought about you all.

You al are clear.

Just cant manage to reply properly.

But despite quite a bit of help I am in a very dark place. I just want it to be Ok to say so but it's scary. Overwhelming triggers and thoughts..So lonely, hard to get out for basics.

xx BD's.

Sweetpeasue Thu 24-Aug-23 21:55:10

Wyllow Warm hug and love coming your way. I just want to hold your hand, you once offered it to me in a post. The light is there- we just cant see it when we're in that bad place. Take all the help you can get Wyllow. Hope you can try and stay in touch with Quaker friends.
Even getting out for basics is a real achievement when you're feeling so bad.
Stay in touch with your cisis lines and any other MH workers.
So wish I could help practically. Be safe. x

Wyllow3 Thu 24-Aug-23 22:03:53

XX

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