Black Dog 18

Good morning lovely friends.
I went to post last evening and my ipad had died!!
Charged up,now and ready to go.
My daughter just texted me and asked if I wanted to go into town- a treat not to turn down. I,m really tired but no way would I not go. It’s her day off so is precious.

Wyllow and SweetPeaSue I hope today will be kinder to you - think of you often. Hope everyone’s day is as good as it can be -
See you all laterxxxx

EllieAnne How about a Knit and Natter session at the library? I know someone who goes but doesn't knit, she just enjoys the chats. Aqua aerobics? An exercise class for us more mature ladies - Zumba Gold or something? I've done them, and most women go alone but get chatting to others It's hard to push yourself, but if I can, anyone can (I have social anxiety but somehow manage to disguise it from others at times)

It's bright and sunny here. DIL messaged me early, asked if we could have the baby for the day in a couple of weeks . I said yes immediately. I know how lucky we are to get the chance. (mum of other GDs never ever included us in anything at all). Did aqua aerobics, had brunch at the pub with my friend. SIL going into a care home for rehab - this one is 1 mile from her and my brother's house, so that will be very much easier for him to visit her. Hope all BDers manage to see some sunshine today x

Just had some disappointing news - the day centre place I go to on Thursdays will be shutting for good in a couple of weeks - they've been operating for 5 years - as they (it's run by a charity) cannot get any further funding (they've been trying to raise funds). They've got 2 other day centres in Nottingham, and they're closing too. When I ran 2 day centres, 2017-2019, we had the very same problems and the trustees of the place shut it down with no notice. I had to ring around all 25 people, the entertainers I'd booked for months and the transport company. DH will have my company every day of the week then

EllieAnne- some good suggestions from Nadateturbe and HVDY. WI can be a very supportive place to be and our U3A has many groups that involve different interesting days out.
Yes it is very daunting to go anywhere the first time alone but you only have to do that once and it could be something you find enjoyable. Any exercise class geared towards more mature ladies might be fun too.
Hope this weekend wasn’t too stressful.
HVDY- So glad you are being included much more with the new baby than previously with your other GC. Your DiL sounds a very nice person and obviously values your friendship.
Glad your SiL is going to rehab that isn’t too far away from your brother. He,ll be able to visit her and not get too exhausted.
Glad you,re able to still do Aqua Aerobics- how are your legs?
You did so well joining classes with your social anxiety- must sometimes make you tired but it’s never as bad as you worry about is it.
Wyllow and Sweet Pea Sue so hope you are having a better day today.
Had a nice lunch with my daughter and a little mooch in town but I feel so tired after going away - feet up now. Xx

ScaredyCat Nice that you saw your daughter and had lunch with her - was it at her house or a pub/cafe? It always seems to taste better when someone else has cooked it. What did you have? My legs are just the same - this burning sensation and, of course, the Petechiae rash, which resembles close-together freckles (I am fair-skinned, anyway) from toes to calf on both legs. The Consultant has never 'phoned me back (he was on strike, then holiday, then strike again, but apparently now at work).

How have all other BDers been today? x

Just sitting here in the dining room, listening to music on my headphones, and felt a bang on the window (I'm next to it). It was a Sparrowhawk! It flew onto the fence and sat there for awhile, but has gone now (hope he finds something to eat)

HVDY- We went to a cafe and had mozzarella,tomato and pesto ciabatta and lemon drizzle cake after. You,re right it always tastes better. I can’t believe your consultant hasn’t been in touch. Having said that I still haven’t had the results of my echocardiogram. No news is good news eh!
Did the sparrow hawk leave a bird shaped mark on your window? How is Foxy?

Candy very frustrating losing your post last night. (I write mine in notes first mostly

Hello Scaredycat back from away and definitely ft up now

It means a lot to be remembered in prayers, nadateturbe

Things have been very bad today too in my head - did enough to get food in but cant bear my own thoughts, counsellor tomorrow.

HVDY you are clearly trusted and thats o nice with your new granddaughter. But it’s terribly sad about the day centre, I’m so sorry, it was such a good one. Also hopefully the rehab place for SiL will be a good one. Sorry your legs still very bad.

Thinking of other BD's’s not in but following us all x

HVDY that’s a shame about the day centre. So many people rely on things like that for company or a decent meal. How lovely to have the baby to yourselves for the day.
Hope you had a nice lunch with your friend. That’s good news about your SIL. Will make things better for your brother,
Sorry your legs are still causing a problem. When are you due to see the consultant, is it October? Can’t believe they’ve left you so long without contact.
Candy it’s such a pain when that happens. Work day for you today. Hope you’re not too tired. Are you going swimming again soon?
Ellie Anne pleased you have some good friends just a shame about them not being able to go on day trips. Wish you could find a group locally that did outings to places. Any local coach companies doing anything?
nadaterurbe yes thanks. Got to chat to GP this morning and she suggested cutting out one of DHs Bp meds. We will see how it goes. Good idea about the draft email.
Scaredycat my iPad is playing up a bit. Actually it is ok it’s the charging cable that’s a bit hit and Miss. Glad you had a nice time with your DD and lucky she’s close enough for an ad hoc meeting. Lovely lunch. Mozzarella and pesto is one of my favourites too. Did you buy anything in town?
Wyllow and Sweetpeasue I’m sure I’m right in saying we are all thinking of you. Worried about you both.
Did you see the MH chap Sweetpeasue? Any help.
Love to all

Wyllow you posted while I was typing my last message.
Please try and eat properly. It’s easy to cut corners if you’re not feeling great. Hope the counsellor helps.

Doodle- yes I,m so grateful DD now lives very close especially as my DS is hundreds of miles away. Only bought some facial cleanser and was shocked it had gone up in price by about £6!!!!!
HVDY- so sorry about the day centre - you will miss it. Many people will be upset I,m sure.
Wyllow- echoing Doodle- please try and eat - little but often if you can’t face a large meal. Can you drink milk cos that would be beneficial.
I wish we could banish your troubling thoughts - they will go away but they are clearly tormenting you. Hope your counselling helps tomorrow.
None of us know you personally Wyllow but we all care very much about you as our friend. Xx
SweetPeaSue- thinking of you and hoping your pain is not so overwhelming. As Doodle says we are worried about you as you are a dear friend.
Night night allxxxxxx

Evening
Ellie Anne shame about meet-up. Pity too that your friend can only go out when her husband is occupied. Seems selfish but everyone is different. I do lots on my own without my husband. He never has a problem with it. We are close and enjoy doing things together but don’t live in each other’s pockets. Suits me. Some good suggestions by others. I hope you find something soon.
Nadaterturbe thanks for the tip. Must get into that habit. Hope your day has been ok.
HVDY I’m glad DiL is involving you more, must be great for you. I’ve always been involved closely with my GS but then it’s my daughter and I think their Mums seem to be that way. She has tried with her MiL but she’s not that interested. Suits me too as I get more of him. I sometimes wonder what it will be like when DS has children. Distance will be a problem and her parents live much closer so we’ll see. I’ll be determined to be involved as much as I can though. Don’t relish the idea of being a long distance grandparent tbh but we’ll see. You’ll have a lovely day I’m sure. I’m so sorry about your lovely day centre. Sign of the times I suppose. I hope you find somewhere equally enjoyable for you.
Scaredycat glad you had a nice day with DD., sounds like a lovely lunch too.
Wyllow sorry you had a troubled day. I hope your head is in a better place now. Hope the counselling helps tomorrow. Sending you much love.
Doodle yes, work day for me. So busy. Not really stopped and more pressure tomorrow as have had more training so more detailed work for me. Such a lot to remember but I console myself with the fact it’s keeping my brain active at least. Will probably go swimming after my Pilates tomorrow evening. I’ve sort of got a routine now, finish work have a quick nap which gives me just enough energy to do it. I hope that cutting out one of your DH bp meds helps him. Only time will tell I suppose., so fingers crossed it works for him. Hope you get your iPad sorted. I had to get a new cable for mine which has worked so far thank goodness.
Sweetpeasue hope your day has been ok and you have been pain free both mentally and physically.
Wishing all BD’s a peaceful night. Not sure mine will be. Dog has just got some of his toys out of his basket and is up for playing! DH took him for an earlier walk while I did food shop so we now may be paying the price! Wish us luck 😂. Night all xx

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I just read you are worried about me but I don't know what to say, apart from thankyou for caring. It made me come in to post.
MH nurse was sick so saw another young girl. Related same story. Taken 3 doses painkiller today and mental anguish over what happened playing through head continually.
False passage meant op should have been abandoned. He then went on, against time, to unsuccessfully try to dissect a v deep fibroid, that was causing no symptoms, and that Id not signed for, away.

Please know that I think of you all and care. I just can't forget the injustice and the pain wont let me.

I'm sorry but feel completely unable to respond as my head will only think of it all. I do care.

ScaredyCat That sounds delicious, especially the cake. I wanted to speak with, or at least get some advice from the Consultant. I saw him in April, he wasn't at all informative, and I don't see him until October. Too busy striking. Then I suppose he'll have a backlog of cases. The bird left a mark on the window, but it's raining now, so that'll wash off. Foxy is ok, although we don't see him (unless we look back on the camera, as he comes at 2am kind of time. The food all goes. I hope you hear something soon about your ECG.

Wyllow3 I'll have to find something else to do on Thursdays. Possibly aqua aerobics. I hope you've managed to have something to eat. Plain foods may be best for a while. Hope the counselling goes well tomorrow.

Doodle I hope the change in your husband's meds will help him. I've been left to deal with this Vasculitis alone - no leaflet, information or anything, so I just put up with it and do what I can, when my legs allow me to. There's no point in me feeling fed-up.

Candy I never thought this son would ever have children - he's 39, and from being 17 said he didn't ever want kids. He met DIL, and changed his mind. Do you get on with your son's partner? Distance won't matter if you all get on well. You're so busy. And so fit, by the sound of it. Keep on, as much as you can. Hope your dog settles down tonight .

SweetoeaSue Hope you're ok.

Hope ALL BDers have a restful night's sleep x

Scareycat I am aware of so many things going up in price too. Either that or the contents are much less than they used to be.
Candy it always takes a while for new things to become familiar. I’m sure you’ll manage well. As you say, keeps the brain active. Sounds a good idea to do Pilates and then follow it with a swim to relax the muscles and cool down. Have fun with your dog.
Sweetpeasue of course we care about you and are concerned for your well-being. Shame you couldn’t see the same person as before. I do Hope thé ADs will help you but realise it will be some time before they kick in. Going over things again and again is completely understandable. Injustices, pain, loss, grief all prevent us from moving on. We are here for you whenever you feel like posting.
HVDY so lovely your son got this chance to be a father. I bet he’s enjoying it now.

HVDY So bad that the Day Centre is closing. Bad for so many who rely on it for valued contact with others. Not good for you too HVDY. It was one way you could socialise with others and where you felt comfortable. So sorry for the ongoing vasculitis and no contact with consultant. Just a sign of our NHS crumbling. Take care of yourself. Hope your husband is coping with his own health issues too.
Wyllow I hope your counselling is helpful tomorrow. You really need that help right now. Just an ear to hear you when no one else can do that in the same way.
Scaredycat I'm just so pleased you saw your sister. Its lovely you have a daughter that enjoys your company and you can go round the shops together. You so deserve some happiness.

Hope everyone has a peaceful night. X

SweetpeaSue Your 1st post somehow came through as I was posting mine. You're bound to have those feelings of injustice. Those photos you included - are they from the hospital? Is that what they have admitted to doing? Could you contact a no-win, no-fee place? I think you've probably got PTSD, understandably. I hope the pain clinic will be able to get your pain under proper control. Is it October when you go?

It's a lovely morning here. I'm going to get some cleaning done, then later have my hai coloured at the hairdresser's. Mid brown with dark blonde highlights (that's the plan, anyway). Son2 calling in after work and staying for dinner.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Had my hair done (love it). Brother just rang, all upset - he'd arrived at the care home where his wife went last night, to find that the Paramedics were there - SIL had fallen over in her room (couldn't get up or weight bear) so they've taken her to hospital. It's the 2nd home she's been in for less than 24 hours, in a matter of 2 weeks . Unbelievable.

Poor woman. Hope there’s nothing broken but it doesn’t sound good.
A shock for your brother too. Your hair sounds nice.

I’ve been out picking blackberries ( we call them brambles) and have made bramble jelly. Hope it sets ok. I am covered in nettle stings.
Tomorrow I am going to my sons house to wait for the washing machine engineer.
I will get to see my gds after school and escape for a day.

HVDY- oh dear your poor SiL - what truly bad luck . I hope she’s not too distressed. It must be very confusing for her not to mention painful.
Your hair sounds nice - is it short or long?
Have a nice dinner with Son2 this evening. Just had a FaceTime with my Son - he looked so hot they have had very warm weather just lately. Wish he could pop in for his dinner!!
EllieAnne- I think this year looks like a good BlackBerry year. Your Bramble jelly sounds lovely- worth a few nettle stings!!
Enjoy your day tomorrow and time with your GDs.
Wyllow- hope the counselling was able to help you today. Thinking of you.
SweetPeaSue- wish you could find some peace of mind. Hang in there with the ADs - they really have helped me but it takes a while.
Yes I,m lucky to have my daughter and her 3 lovely grown up daughters too. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see my sister- she is a dear person and very loved.
Take carexx
Love to allxxx

Evening all. Been to hospital for DH checkup today. My turn tomorrow for physio. The car could probably drive itself there by now.
Wyllow I hope the counselling was of some help. When is it your family are visiting? I Hope you are able to meet up with them without becoming too exhausted.
HVDY I’ve had busy day too. After hospital visit with DH I came home and tackled our outside cupboard. So much rubbish to get rid of. Got quite out of breath breaking down cardboard boxes and getting them out to the bin. I was dripping by the time I’d finished.
Busy week this week, 2 meals out with our sons. Hate to think what I’ll weigh by the weekend.
So pleased you like your hair. Sounds lovely.
So sorry about your SIL. Sadly it’s quite common that people have falls in care homes. My brother had a few too. Hope she’s ok. Nice your son is popping round. Is he the one that went on holiday recently with his girls?
Ellie Anne I love blackberries and jelly. Was it just along the hedgerows or at a fruit picking farm?
I Hope your son is nice to you tomorrow. You do them lots of favours. Be nice to be with your girls though.
Scaredycat isn’t face time a wonderful invention. So nice to be able to see someone when you speak to them. I know it’s not the same as having them with you but better than nothing.
Any plans for you to be together any time soon?
So nice you have your DD close. Do your three DGDs live close too. I think least one has children must be amazing to see
All the generations together.
Sweetpeasue please take heart from what Scaredycat says. That’s at least two of us whose mental health was improved by ADs.. I know it’s hard to believe at the beginning but they will help. Take care x

Candy Hope you managed ok today with the new work you had to do. You must be so fit with all your activities - it's amazing how you fit everything in.
HVDY Your poor SIL. I hope she's ok. She must be getting quite confused with all the change of places. It's so awful for her. So glad you like your new hair colour.
No, those photos are from a medical library and the article was of complications in Hysteroscopy written by some Gynecologists in American OBG Association. After 2 mths another Gynaecologist told me of the false passage but I had to find out the incompletd resection of fibroid myself 4mths later when I was given a printout MRI report by someone who stood in for my Gynaecologist.
Scaredycat It is special for you to be so close to your sister. Thankyou for the reassurance I'm taking the ADs and they seem to be ok and not causing any side affects.
EllieAnne Why do the brambles always seem to grow alongside nettles. My mum used to make bramble jelly too. Enjoy your GDs tomorrow.
Doodle Hoping your husband will be ok cutting out one of his BP meds. My husband is on 2 different ones. Thankyou for your prayers and concern. I appreciate your kindness, and caring.
Wyllow So hope your day has been a little better and your mood has lifted a little. It must be v hard to have to care for yourself. Hope you can manage to eat to sustain yourself. I understand the lack of appetite when feeling so low.

Up at half 2 and mind full of memories and details of time with Drs. I texted SHOUT and communicated with a person though as EllieAnne found , its not ideal. I should have rung Crisis but didn't want to bother them. Just needed to tell my experience as kept incensing me and felt like exploding. Took lrge glug of Oramorph to calm me and Diazapam then slept. Strangely hardly any pain today for first time in weeks. So v tired.

Hoping all have as peaceful a night as possible. x

Sorry, that came out wrong. I would not have rang Crisis just to repeat' my story'. It was more than that last night. I don't think I wanted them to know I felt that bad.