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Black Dog 18

(1001 Posts)
Wyllow3 Sat 05-Aug-23 21:50:29

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.

For newcomers, there are some people who post regularly, some occasionally, and some like to read. so some post will be "carrying on" discussions, but new sharing always welcome.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 15-Sept-23 21:10:18

SweetpeaSue How lovely to get such a lovely gift from your son. Will he be back for a few days? Nice that you saw your sister, too. Your husband doesn't sound good. Hope you manage to get him seen by someone tomorrow. It might help to measure both of your husband's legs, so that the swelling can be monitored.

nadateturbe Hope your husband got on ok at the doctor's. My husband has sent off for the park needed - camshaft sensor, apparently - so when it arrives, he should be able to fix his car. It's an old S-registration Mercedes convertible, and he loves it.

Doodle It's hard not to worry, isn't it? I'm the same. I hope things improve soon, and that your husband's leg pain settles down, as well.

EllieAnne Hope you feel better tomorrow.

Hope ALL BDers have a better day tomorrow x

nadateturbe Fri 15-Sept-23 21:14:34

Sweetpeasue you weren't forgotten by those who matter. Nice of your sister to call and what a lovely surprise from your son.
I hope your appointment was helpful.
Unfortunately spoilt a little by worrying about your husband. His foot definitely needs attention, and I hope you get seen tomorrow. Does he have a temperature?

Sweetpeasue Fri 15-Sept-23 21:23:57

Sorry Scaredycat It was yourself that mentioned the cake. Nadateturbe Your GP surgery sounds good for being able to get F2F appts. We're not allowed to pre-book any either.
Doodle I'm hoping your worries will subside and you can get peace of mind. x

Sweetpeasue Fri 15-Sept-23 21:29:46

Nadateturbe DH has no temperature but foot v swollen and hot to touch compared to other one. Its not something he normally gets and has appeared with all the pain and stiffness in shoulders/arms/hips.
Thankyou yes, I think we need to feel loved by our AC as many on GN and BD feel too. It can make a world of difference to our mental state.

nadateturbe Fri 15-Sept-23 21:33:21

Doodle I'm sorry you're still so stressed. Does it help to write it all down? I used to journal how I was feeling. Perhaps you could switch off even for a while listening to some calming music.
It must have been awful to suffer so badly from claustrophobia, to the extent that you couldn't travel on trains. I can't do tunnels, and I am very fearful in lifts. I close my eyes and pray. But nothing close to yours. You did very well to conquer that. You are right, the only person who can conquer something is yourself. I will think about that.
Did the nurse say what is wrong with your husbands leg? It seems to be worse, rather than healing. I pray you both have a peaceful night.xx

nadateturbe Fri 15-Sept-23 22:03:32

Scaredycat good evening. I empathise totally with your fear of flying. It certainly wouldn't have helped the AF. I used to cope by having 2-3 glasses of wine, but I can't tolerate more than a small glass now. I might ask GP for a pill. Or maybe just copy your 'scared old me".
Do you fly now?
It's sad not living close to children. Sometimes you have a little cry, well I do, but then you just get on with your own life. The main thing, as you say, is that they're happy.
I hope your DiLs op goes well. It's maybe better she doesn't have long to wait and think about it.
I can't claim to always understand God's ways, but I know I feel better when I follow him, and I believe he cares.
My husband has felt extremely fatigued on and off for a year maybe. But today I checked his BP. It was high so I rang the surgery. He was seen this afternoon and has some pneumonia. Is on antibiotics and has to get full bloods done on Tuesday. I would normally just wait for him to feel better. Just as well I didn't.

Sweetpeasue Fri 15-Sept-23 22:04:23

HVDY Just realised, missed your post. Its only the foot thats swollen though leg is ok. Hope your own arent hurting too much today.
Son works 2 weeks on, 3 weeks at home so might see him Sunday after hes rested tomorrow, or some time next week. Always leave him and his girlfriend time to themselves when he returns home.

nadateturbe Fri 15-Sept-23 22:08:26

EllieAnne it's good you've been occupied this week. I wonder have you caught something from someone. Hope it's not serious and clears soon.x

Sweetpeasue Fri 15-Sept-23 22:19:36

Nadateturbe Just read your post about your husband. Thank goodness he got in to see the Dr today. He must be feeling awful with pneumonia. Your instincts were right. I know its difficult to get men to Drs. Hoping antibiotics start working soon.

nadateturbe Fri 15-Sept-23 22:35:22

HVDY nice car, I had to Google it, I imagine husband takes great care of it.
Husband has a touch of pneumonia, I wonder is it perhaps from Covid.
We had half each of a huge chocolate muffin with yogurt (don't do cream)after dinner. Not something we eat often, but after all the chat about cakes on this thread...Hard to resist buying it. Delicious.

nadateturbe Fri 15-Sept-23 22:40:52

Sweetpeasue no temperature, that's good at least. I think if it was infected he would have one.
Yes, good idea to give son time to settle in. He was very thoughtful.
Thanks, if husband had his way, I wouldn't have rung surgery.
He's just extremely weak, which apparently is more a sign of pneumonia than a cough (according to doctor).

nadateturbe Fri 15-Sept-23 22:41:39

Thinking of you Wyllow3 and everyone on BD. Wishing you a peaceful night xx

Wyllow3 Fri 15-Sept-23 23:07:50

Read today and sorry to see worries about DH's as well as ourselves. xx
Thank you so much for being remembered, nothing seems to help atm and not communicating with family just cant. x

HowVeryDareYou2 Sat 16-Sept-23 08:15:25

nadateturbe Pneumonia - I hope your husband soon feels better. He's on antibiotics? My husband bought his car for "2k at auction, 8 years ago, and did it up. I've driven it a few times, but I don't like being so low down in a car.

SweetpeaSue I wonder if your husband could have Gout? Hope he gets on ok today

It seems a few of us are worried about our husbands. Mine had still not had any treatment for his ongoing cough. The GP he saw said she though it might be Asthma (although with that, there's usually a nighttime cough, which he's never had), but she can't prescribe an inhaler until he's done a week of peak flow readings - he has now. He should be reaching 540 for his age and height, but the highest one he's done has been 380.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a better day x

nadateturbe Sat 16-Sept-23 18:02:01

HVDY husband is a bit better, thanks, only mild pneumonia, yes on penicillin. I'm exhausted doing everything, up and down stairs. Was feeling so good too this week.☹
Thankfully he's downstairs today.
A low seat might feel strange but car sounds nice.
Hope your husband gets an inhaler soon.
Back tomorrow. Hope everyone is OK.xx

Doodle Sat 16-Sept-23 20:57:30

Scaredycat I tend to pray a lot whether I have troubles or not. Always have. I realise I’m probably not going about things in the right way but it’s hard for me to change the way I feel.
Claustrophobia was a hard one for me to come to terms with. 40 years of not going in lifts or planes or trains. I still get a bit anxious in some circumstances but I am so much better than I was. Thank you for your nice words. I think we all hold each other together. You have been there with us for a long time now. 😊
I miss Annie as she had so much experience and wise words and good advice for all.
Nurse helped DHs leg and it seems better today thanks.
Ellie Anne sorry you’re feeling poorly. Hope it’s nothing too serious and you feel better soon.
Sweetpeasue glad you got to your appointment. Don’t worry about crying through it, let them know how you feel and how bad things are.
What a lovely surprise from your son. That’s so nice. And your sister too.
I wonder if your DH has gout. It could be as that causes painful feet. Cellulitis might be another thing though if it’s not in the leg maybe not. Did you get to see anyone about it?
He hasn’t sprained his ankle has he? Twisted it awkwardly?
Nadateturbe what a good thing you got your husband seem. Pneumonia can be bad if you don’t get on antibiotics soon enough. Hope he feels better soon. Hopefully the blood tests will identify if anything else is causing a problem.
Thank you for your concern. Sadly I am not one helped by music. I like songs from the 60s and 70s when I’m in a jolly mood but music often makes me feel sad. Don’t know why really but it’s never helped me. I know I’m anxious and I wan trying to put it out of my mind but I’m one of those that ruminates over things a lot.
My claustrophobia was a fear of suffocating even though I knew I wouldn’t. I found if I panicked I got very hot so now in stressful situations I always make sure I am able to be cool or carry an iced drink or ice pack. It was hard to overcome but DH helped me by always supping me and never criticising (no matter how many flights of stairs he had to walk up 🤣)
Wyllow of course you’re thought of. You are one of us. Just wish we could do more to support you at the moment. x
HVdY I have had asthma since I was 25 but have never had a nighttime cough. Everyone has a different level of peak flow. DH when he’s good is 450 but has been in the high 300s recently. My best is usually 345. I have to take tablets every day to keep mine under control plus an inhaler. Inhaler may help but just one thought, check the paperwork for any medications he’s on and see if they state cough as a side effect. My DH had a really bad cough for months after taking a specific BP medication. Within 24 hours of stopping it his cough went away. Probably not likely in your DHs case but worth a look.
Hope all have a good weekend. I am trying to knit but having trouble with my dodgy wrist.

Ellie Anne Sat 16-Sept-23 21:30:30

I used to play Christian music in my car all the time but this car doesn’t have a cd player and I’ve never got to grips with music on my phone.
I’ve messaged Annie a few times but she doesn’t say much so I really don’t know how she is. I do miss her too.
It’s just a bad cold I’ve got but they really hit me hard. I’m thinking a lot about dying these days. My mother had a horrible time with my father and I always thought if he died she might have some better years. Sadly she died many years before him. I feel history is repeating itself but I know that is a terrible thing to say. Please don’t judge me for it.
Son 1 and family are coming tomorrow to return dh s car. They had a problem with their own.
I really don’t want them to come. I’m so tired of pretending.
I probably won’t get to church because of this cough.
Just feel so low tonight.

nadateturbe Sat 16-Sept-23 22:15:18

Just popping in to say EllieAnne if you are really interested and have Bluetooth on your phone and in your car you could play Christian music from YouTube in the car. Your son could show you. It's simple. Lots of albums available and you can make YouTube playlists.

Wyllow3 Sat 16-Sept-23 22:58:54

Night night dear BD's x

HowVeryDareYou2 Sun 17-Sept-23 07:49:17

nadateturbe Hope your husband is better soon, and that you're not overdoing things.

Doodle Son2 (39) has been Asthmatic since he was a few months old, and always had a cough at night. I've had Asthma since I was 36. My best reading is 260, but then I'm only 5ft 1 grin. DH is on 3 tablets (BP, statin, prostate), and I've Googled side sffects but none cause a cough. Good thought, though, thanks. Is your wrist still painful? Glad your husband's legs seem a bit better.

EllieAnne Nobody will judge you, you're in an unhappy marriage. You're also not feeling well. Try to be kind to yourself.

Hope ALL BDers manage to have a better day x

Scaredycat Sun 17-Sept-23 15:48:27

SweetPeaSue- what a lovely thoughtful thing your Son did for your Birthday. Glad you saw your Sister too- you must have missed her.
I hope your DH got seen yesterday - he so needed a F2F .
Hope you have seen your Son today- he must really appreciate how considerate you are when he comes home.
Nadateturbe- so sorry your husband has pneumonia- you were right to follow your instincts and hopefully stop it in its tracks.
Glad there was some improvement yesterday.
Yes I do fly now without help and just get on with it. I prefer to look out of the window- go figure!!!
Yes it is sad being away from our children .Our family is quite scattered so we see the ones nearby as often as possible and visit the others when we can. Yes as long as they are all happy. Trouble is with so many of them there’s often something to worry about.
That muffin sounded lovely- a little of what you fancy as they say😀
Try and have a rest when you can now DH is downstairs again.
Doodle - glad DH leg is improving it has taken a while hasn’t it.
My DH is a bit like you as he can get very anxious in a badly ventilated hot room.
I do hope you have a bit more peace of mind today- those worries that eat away at your head are so hard to deal with.
Yes we have been together for a long time and like you miss Annie very much and often think of her and wonder how she is.
Hope you,ve managed to do a bit of knitting it is good therapy I think. I used to love it and make things for my GC when they were little and had no say in what they wore!!!! Do you wear a wrist support?
Hope today has been better for youx
EllieAnne- hope your cold gets better soon - they can really wipe you out can’t they.
We would never judge you- you are very unhappy and at the moment can see no light for you.
Your Son and his family will be pleased to see you today- maybe you don’t need to pretend with them always.
Take care of yourself.
HVDY- how are your legs this weekend? The cooler weather must be better for you.
I didn’t know you had asthma too - what a lot you have to deal with physically.
Hope your boys and their families are all ok and the trial run for Son 1 has gone well.
Wyllow- how has your Sunday been- as always thinking of you.

Candy,Whiff,Allsorts , Hairspray, and all not mentioned wishing you as good an evening as possible.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sun 17-Sept-23 17:50:14

ScaredyCat I don't get affected much by the Asthma - I don't take a preventative inhaler (even though they say I should). It's mainly when I get a cold or the weather is cold (foggy is worst). My legs are ok, thanks. Manageable, anyway. Son2 and family are going to stay at his place every Friday at least. DIL has got a very old dog, and 2 cats, so she can't be away from them too long at the moment (her mum's looking after them). How's your weekend been?

How have all BDers been today? x

Scaredycat Sun 17-Sept-23 19:42:35

HVDY- I,m glad the Asthma doesn’t cause you many problems although I,m sure sometimes in the Winter it must be difficult. Son 2 must be happy a regular time is planned to be with his family - your DiL sounds nice as she cares so much for her animals too. My weekend has been good thank you. Had nice long Face Time with my Sister - so good to see her so much better.
Couldn’t see my Daughter as she tested positive for Covid during the week😩 she has lost all her senses of taste and smell which must be awful. Just nice to feel better walking as the weather is much cooler today.
Now sitting watching rubbish tele and eating chocolate buttons together!! So glad I finally took the ADs .
Sleep well all BDs

Doodle Sun 17-Sept-23 20:04:30

Ellie Anne no one has a right to judge others. I’m sorry your mum had such a bad time. I wish I knew what to say to you.
You are obviously very unhappy with your DH but can’t leave. Pretending for your family must be so hard. Have they no inkling how you feel? I wish life could be better for you.
Hope your cold improves soon.
HVDY yes us asthmatics come in all shapes and sizes. Hope your DHs cough improves soon. Having an asthmatic baby must have been worrying and difficult. At least I was old enough to look after myself when I developed it. My asthma is bad. Without my tablets and inhaler I wouldn’t survive. Glad yours seems to be under control.
Sounds as though things are going well for your son and his GF. Hope it works out for them.
Sweetpeasue I too am wondering if your DH got to see anyone about his ankle. How have things been today?
Scaredycat I know what you mean about there’s always something to worry about. Just when I think things are going well something comes along that starts the worry off again. Maybe that’s what life is like for all of us all the time.
It’s a shame Annie left. I Hope she’s getting on ok. I think of her and her love for snowdrops, her mountains and her beloved dogs.
No wrist support now. I’m supposed to be exercising. The knitting is difficult but I am persevering.
Must be hard with family who live a long way away. I worry so much about mine and they’re very close.
So pleased things are better with your sister. Nice to be able to face time and catch up. Sorry your daughter has Covid. Hope it’s mild.
Wyllow thinking of you and hoping news will be better soon.
There are many who have been on BD over the years, we can’t mention all every day but don’t think you are forgotten. All are welcome to pop in.

Sweetpeasue Sun 17-Sept-23 20:59:57

So difficult to reply to all. Just taken pain relief for back, stomach and pain down legs. I drove DH to walk-in clinic yesterday ( he wanted to wait till Mon). Unfortunately a v large number of people there and he couldnt sit there for ages on hard chair with his pain so we left. Calling GP surgery tomorrow. Foot still swollen and he still has pain and stiffness in body. Thankyou all for asking. Doodle Sorry you're having prob with knitting because of wrist. It may help distract with the anxiety and worry.
EllieAnne Wish I knew what to say to you that could help. I think your family must surely realise how miserable the situation is for you and no one should be in a position to judge you at all. You are doing your v best for everyone and seem so alone in it all. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. You need to think of yourself too. Sending you a warm hug.

Love to all of you and thankyou for your caring words. I dont take them for granted ever and know how difficult it is for some to post. Wishing all a restful night from troubles. X

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