Depressed and in need of advice and understanding.

I know only too well of how you are feeling, you are far from alone in this. I’ve never been to the doctor about it or taken anything as I’m one of those people reluctant to take an aspirin, but I know from others how helpful the correct medication help can be. My depression is factors in my life I can’t right, so it’s not clinical depression, I have to work on my acceptance and attitude, mine came after several bouts of Covid in quick succession, whatever they say the experience of going through Covid restrictions and getting the thing and all those vaccines takes it’s toll. No wonder so many of us are so low. Living alone doesn’t help, however know people who are carers or have difficult partners must be worse.
Do hope you soon get to a better place, I’m sure you will as you really want to and are working at it.

Thank you Allsorts, I agree about Covid.
Lots of people seem very low at present. I hope that you’re well now.

Bless you, Hairspray100.

I've been there.

This sounds like sheer anxiety. Not your fault at all, but once that ball starts rolling down the hill it seems to feed on its own momentum.

You definitely need something to put the brakes on.

I wonder whether you have considered trying CBD? It is supposed to be very calming - and not at all the same as actual cannabis. It is legal, but you will not be offered it on prescription and for reasons it's hard to comprehend it is not permitted for anyone to sell this in the UK with any specific health claim.

It's also rather good for senior aches and pains and helps one to sleep.

Hi
Please go to a counsellor privately - I have had to do this ! It is my indulgence - she is wonderful - you talk to a counsellor like no one else! It’s private, it’s a relief . It’s worth every penny. I go with going to the hairdresser ! It’s so much better.
I have three girls one doesn’t talk to me at all, two do but not without criticism.
Look after you, do what you want, when you want to. Even if it’s sitting watching daytime tv! It’s your time!
Let the kids do what they want to.
Take care, love yourself, - I have enough medication that I didn’t want antidepressants as well. But you do what you want.
I do find drs are pill pushers, without looking it what is the issue
Take care

I have suffered from depression since childhood. My parents were brilliant and saw me through many dark periods. I still have my Black Dog days. Being disabled since early childhood I have come to accept various health issues in a way that lets me be in charge - not the other way round. I also now concentrate on what is positive in my life - my wonderful parents, children and partner, my time at uni, a long career. A friend, now no longer with us, taught me the Serenity Prayer. You can find it through Google. Much better than dwelling on other things that may only cause you more anxiety. I really hope that you start to feel better soon. ❤️

Please take your medication! If you need to change it then contact your GP. Don't let it go to waste!

I am so sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless. I do hope after reading this thread you realise you are not alone and that there are many kind and understanding people here and in the world. Being told to ‘get on with it’ is not a good reaction; I was told this myself by my totally unsympathetic ex husband when we had major family problems and ‘getting on with it’ became impossible. I am in a better place now but still plagued by worry and anxiety and I know how truly scary it is. All I can say is take care of yourself and try to find some small moments of peace in your day. Medication and counselling will help. Don’t give up on your quest for happiness however hard the road ahead seems; you deserve it! Sending you my love and very best wishes.

Hairspray Try to hang in there. I've suffered from depression since my teens, and been on medication on and off but currently I have been about 15 years continuously on meds. I had CBT which helped. I started weaning myself off my meds 7 years ago, extremely slowly, but remained at a lower level when there were deaths in the family. I am on track though. I'm trying to be positive and finding reasons so be grateful that I am alive, more so after my sister's suicide. I have written positive notes to myself to remind me of things especially when I feel worthless or sad about family, etc. I take them out and go through them, to reinforce positivity. Just an example, "I am beautiful", "my husband loves me", "I am strong, I can get through this", etc.

I have started going for cold showers or swms too - it leaves me on a "high" for a few days!

It is hard but you will get through it in the end. Please give counselling or CBT a go. I truly wish you all the best things in life. Big 🫂 🤗.

I do think that you are right to ring the Samaritans! Although they can’t solve your problems they will listen- which is important. You can get things off your chest without being judged or deemed’a whinger’.Sometimes articulating your worries can help put them in perspective and you won’t feel that you are overburdening friends or family.

I do hope that that the drugs kick in and you feel a little better soon. Congratulate yourself for being proactive in exploring every avenue in your quest to feel better and be gentle with yourself

Hi

I have a best mate sounds v similar to you. She has gone to counselling (privately) and says hugely helped, But again she is fortunate to afford .

Hope the medication helps.. so many people seem to be suffering mental health issues since COVID.

This is not a feeling, this is depression, which is an illness. You, nor anyone else can make sense of it, or explain it away. You can’t pull yourself together and stop “wasting what time you have left dwelling on things”. That very sentence is enough to make anyone feel depressed.
You need to take steps to manage this illness. You may never cure mental health, but you can manage it.
You have taken the first step seeing a doctor, but that can sometimes be counter productive and often doctors will dismiss physical elements and just writ every thing off as being in your head. Also, they often just give medication which doesn’t actually deal with the triggers and situations that lead to depression / anxiety.
Can you seek the help of other agencies too? Agencies like steps to wellbeing, mental health charities like mind run support groups and give advice, age concern can help too. In my town we have an agency called The light house, which helps people with depression, offering them a ray of light into the darkness. Not sure if that is national or just local to me.
You need support and understanding not criticism or well-meaning advice. Take time out for you focus on little things that make you smile for me that is nature the environment and keeping active.
There is light and the end of the tunnel and you will find it but there is no generic map to the end of the tunnel you will need to find your own path and the way that suits you best. Wishing you all the best

I am so sorry you feel this way and think your family's remarks don't help you at all. You've done the right thing by seeing your GP which is a major step and now you've started the medication another huge step so hopefully in a few weeks time you'll start to feel a bit brighter and then maybe things will not seem quite so bad.
I understand what you mean about not having anybody to share these feelings with as I'm in the same situation. Since my DH passed away I've become incredibly anxious about the slightest thing which wouldn't have even merited a passing thought a year or so ago. So good that you feel able to 'spill' on here. Best wishes.

sending a hug and sympathy. I know how you feel about health issues - I have something I take some pretty nasty medication for - for life and I got a bit down. My DD pulled me up and reminded me of my own words. Count your blessings - I actually made a list including our great NHS and I realise how lucky I am. I hope you can manage your depression. Sometimes getting together with a friend or meeting up with family - and a treat for yourself works wonder - there's always chocolate...

Have you had a look at low cost counselling in your area? It's usually student volunteers in the last year or so of their therapist course who give their time free, and the venue that provides the rooms charges just a small fee. It does feel that you're overwhelmed with anxiety atm and could do with a bit of support!

Sorry you are having a hard time but well done for being honest. That is strength!
Could you afford to go to a counsellor privately before NHS is available. What about therapy instead to help you cope. You are on the way to getting there! Small steps, fresh air, short walks all help your serotonin levels believe me!!

Many years ago I was hospitalised due to depression and anxiety. This illness does not just happen, nor does the cure. The medication you have been prescribed will take about 8 weeks to kick in and then you may even be prescribed an increased dose.
Have you ever had any hobbies? Perhaps looking to venture back into taking one up again would help. I know, if it means you venturing out to a group of any kind you will feel overwhelmed just at the thought. One visit out for say, just to explore the group but not stay may just give you a bit of confidence to stay the next time. If you craft at all, pick that up at home, show yourself you can still do these things. You need time for yourself to do what you want and like. CBT can help but appreciate will be hard to come by on NHS these days. As others have said, no matter how you feel you are not alone and can post anytime. You will feel better, be fair and kind to yourself, this didn't happen overnight so you also need time to recover, take it.

Try this site. I found the forums very helpful. You are not alone.

www.nomorepanic.co.uk/forum.php

So sad for you,depression is awful but you will get through it,be extra kind to yourself.Maybe if you can write down how you feel at length then tear up the paper,may help.If you have a favourite hobby try to start that again.Write a list of things you would like to do & see if any are possible—— don’t think about what family have said IT IS ABOUT YOU,no one can help being depressed.Could you do a little project with family photos,make up an album of happy times,or do one for a family member or grandchild,it’s hard to focus at this time but you can do it,most people on this site are wonderfully helpful so just follow it for a while,very inspiring some days,sending hugs.

This is the first time I have replied to a post but really feel for you and want to give you a big hug. I suffer from depression and have for years. I used to try to come off medication when I felt better on it. This was disastrous for me as it took a while to wear off, then I felt bad again and then it took weeks to kick in. I felt I was a failure. Eventually I realised that I was ill and needed it. No different from taking medication for a physical problem. I have mental health problems and will probably be on tablets for the rest of my life. I am happy and enjoy my life.

Hairspray 100, you've had some lovely helpful replies on here! Well done for having the courage to post; I hope that you'll feel better soon. In the meantime, be kind to yourself...

I to am on sertraline for depression and anxiety. When I was put on these i didn't want to take them, but the doctor explained I would feel better after about a week, and I did! This was about 20 years ago and I'm still taking them because of ongoing problems but have never gone back to that dark place I was in.
Good luck with your medication. X

So sorry you are feeling so low at the moment Hairspray100. You have made some positive steps so far - seeing the GP, taking Sertraline and opening up to Gransnetters which is all going to help you. I started to take Sertraline last Summer, with enormous hesitation. It does help, I am no longer taking it. I hope you start to feel the darkness lift soon x

Being a wife,/partner/ mother/grandparent/ carer/ housekeeper/social secretary/ gardener etc etc can be wonderful and fulfilling but too often we can be the repository of all the family issues and it becomes overwhelming. A very wise friend who I once unburdened to described it thus: one’s life is like a pot on the stove bubbling nicely away, can be like this for years. We gradually add stuff to the pot as life throws more difficulties at us , then more stuff until it boils over and we become ill. I’ve been there, I developed weird phobias, panic attacks. Medication certainly helped, there were side effects but the benefits outweighed them. Hairspray 100, if you can share the load you might feel less isolated within your family, they need to be kind to you. Good luck.

I have just gone through something similar. I began suffering stress symptoms in February of this year and tried to deal with it myself for 7 weeks. However, in the end I had to go on medication. It has taken a while to get on my feet, mainly due to the response of a couple of family members. One, who I would have hoped to be especially supportive, told me bluntly that my stress was having an impact on the family and that it wasn't all about me - as if I had chosen to be ill. Thankfully, i am now on the mend, but if it hadn't been for my son cheering me on and sending messages of support every day, I don't think I would have made it.

I don't want to make the post about me but wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Is there anyone you can turn to when you feel down? It won't last forever, all things pass and one day it will be a distant memory. Take it one day at a time and try not to rush. It will all come together in the end.

Lots of understanding and good advice here. My two pen'orth is, if you can, go for a short walk somewhere green every day. It won't make make you feel completely better but when you get back you'll feel better than when you set out. Keep posting on here, you will get lots of support.