Taking stock of wellbeing

No wonder you are burn out. So glad you have been able to take stock and look at things differently. You definitely need some me time. Look after yourself first and then hopefully you can give to others as well as and when you are able to do so. Thank you for sharing with us I am sure there are many here who can relate to what you are saying. Take care.

You have a lot for one person to bear. Good to know you are feeling better now. It is important to look after your own health and well being first and then you are able to help others.

I have just found out I have a melonoma, which was quite a shock to the system. My consultant wants to take a further half inch off the site just to make sure. I was due to have a hip replacement at the end of November, but my consultant has cancelled it. He says the chance of getting an infection are quite high. Although I understand the reasoning,, my emotions are all over the place. I was looking forward to being pain free, and, getting my mobility back. I am very lucky in that I have a very close and loving family, but I can't deny my feelings. Any thoughts would be appreciated. BTW, I am a female.

Hello Murraymint You will get more answers and support if you start a new thread. Just go into Forums and choose Health and then post your title.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this but there will be others on here who will have experience of melanoma and may be able to empathise.

You seem to be such a sane person, Notagranyet.
I expect you were indispensable for a while, before it all became too much. Losing your mother is horrible, however old you or she may be at the time.
Thank you for your post. Your family is lucky to have you.

Notagranyet1234 - yes, I've been there too, probably twice. I worked 50-60 hours some weeks , but paid for 35. We had serious flooding at our house and didn't know if we'd walk away with nothing or have to stay but be forever anxious and not let the grandchildren visit in case it wasn't safe. That lasted 18 months before it was resolved.
Also a workplace at another point where a lot of very bad stuff went on and I had to just walk away with no job to go to!
I think many of us are guilty of sometimes failing to take our mental wellbeing seriously and maybe subconsciously think we're invincible and indispensable.
There are many things which can help. Going to the GP for help, going for counselling, talking honestly to good friends, prayer or meditation among other things.
Thankfully, there's no longer stigma about going for counselling and it can be extremely helpful.
I help to run a Renew Wellbeing session through our church. They run across the UK www.renewwellbeing.org.uk/our-centres
They ( and other organisations) regard the "Five Ways of Wellbeing" as very useful: Connect with others, Learn something new, be Active, Notice things(be mindful/thankful), Give to others.
If we're spending most of our time giving to or helping others, it can be hard to find time for ourselves - but it's very much needed. Even trying a new recipe, planting a new plant, going for a walk I find can all help.
Personally, I find when I take time to pray and sit in God's presence, I can hand over much of the anxiety and find my peace again. I can also find things to be thankful for. ( Not preaching at folk here, just being honest about my experience)
Life can certainly be very tough for various reasons and it is helpful to have sites like this or places to go where we can have honest discussion and suggest things to help each other.

It’s always good to see the light 💡 at the end of the long dark tunnel.
Take care of yourself now, try to cut back on things which arent vital so you can manage all the things which are.

Notagranyet1234, I really feel for you as I know how difficult it is to juggle everything and I didn't even have a job to manage as well. In some ways, your post makes me feel slightly better as I started to worry that I was getting Dementia or going mad as I now recognise some of the signs you talk about so thank you for posting. I realise that I need to make serious changes to ensure that I don't dip too.
I hope that you manage to find a better life balance in the long term.

Thank you all for your replies sending positive thoughts and best wishes to you all

Murraymint

I have just found out I have a melonoma, which was quite a shock to the system. My consultant wants to take a further half inch off the site just to make sure. I was due to have a hip replacement at the end of November, but my consultant has cancelled it. He says the chance of getting an infection are quite high. Although I understand the reasoning,, my emotions are all over the place. I was looking forward to being pain free, and, getting my mobility back. I am very lucky in that I have a very close and loving family, but I can't deny my feelings. Any thoughts would be appreciated. BTW, I am a female.

Hi Murraymint so sorry for your troubles. Fingers crossed that your hip replacement will be rescheduled soon. At times like this all we can do is be guided by those who know more than we do and just get through it. Hopefully your melanoma will be eradicated and this time next year all these worries will be a memory.

Murraymint, it is more than understandable that you should feel that way. My strategy with dealing with things like this is telling myself that with every day that passes I am one day closer to seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know any other way of dealing with it and it would take me a while before I could harness the disappointment to get into that mind set.
Good luck with the treatment for the melanoma. I hope it goes well.

Hi @notagranyet1234 and @murraymint,

Could I just express my sympathy for you both in the difficult situations you are in. The death of my parents cast a very long shadow, which I didn’t start to feel until the death of my oldest brother - my brain completely lost the plot, I started being very forgetful, and time became very distorted - I couldn’t remember exactly when things had happened, for example. I was told by a GP over the phone that I had diabetes, this was a huge shock, and left me very depressed, and convinced I was going to get really ill and die (despite medications and ‘lifestyle changes’.)

Sending you both love