Vascular dementia early stages

Both my parents have and had vascular dementia. My mothers caused by strokes which led to her going into a carehome. Her personality has changed she is happy and greets everyone as if she has known them for years but hasn’t seen them for years. My fathers I reckon was triggered by the isolation the pandemic forced us into and he deteriorated so he ended up in a home. There were times of aggressive behaviour but when this happened it was usually an underlying cause usually an infection. When he was well he was his usual mild mannered person. He passed away at 90 in November mainly due to frailty.

2020convert we're in Staffordshire.
It's a family business, there are 25 purpose-built one-bedroom apartments in the grounds of the care home.

Alison333 yes, UTI - i couldn't think of it. Thank you

Ive seen my neighbour deteriorate over the years from a whining needy snitch to someone who can be verbally abusive and potentially violent. As she got worse I would hear her yelling at her husband and grown children - although never at the grandchildren. She became more and more paranoid with an OCD about rubbish, drains and bins, convinced that everyone had it in for her. Every few weeks the Dynarod guy was called to jet out her drains. I now realise she was putting oil and fat from cooking down the sink!!

Talking to her was like having a conversation with a tape recorder and she could not follow a simple set of instructions. She forgot how to do everyday tasks like pegging out washing, but insisted upon doing it. She was flinging the scrunched up and dripping wet garments over the line and then walking on without putting any pegs in. Her husband had to "help" her by following behind and re-arranging and pegging all the garments so that they hung properly.

Her poor husband died of a heart attack 3 years ago and the deterioration is now much more evident. She once became hysterical and was shouting and banging at my (locked) gate trying to get in. She fled when I threatened to call the police. She was wandering around in her pajamas and flipflops with no coat on in early march.

Her children live a distance away and an interfearing neighbour tried to rope me in as an emergency contact. I refused point blank. There has been no one at the house now for about 3 months and I assume she has moved in with one of her adult children. I expect to see a FOR SALE sign on the property any time soon.

My mum had vascular dementia but she was not awful, always gentle and sweet. She was attacked in A&E ward by another dementia patient who was vile. His wife was sobbing in fear and shame. Poor lady, my heart went out to her. She just kept saying that it wasn’t him, luckily my frail mum was ok after I laid over her to protect her. Mum MIL also had it and was so dirty, she had been a lovely clean and smart lady, it was tragic. She couldn’t keep a thought in her head and she was super intelligent. She fell out of a hospital bed and died of pneumonia after breaking her leg. We felt that was better than the alternative. I like to remember both mums as they were, kind, loving and generous. Now I’m older I worry myself sick about it as I used to have a first class memory and now don’t. My heart goes out to those with sad stories here and elsewhere, it’s a tragic end to a life in my opinion.

My late first husband had vascular dementia. It did affect his personality quite markedly, particularly in his interactions with me; less so people whom he saw less often. He was really quite remarkably unpleasant at times, to the point where on some days I dreaded being in the same house as him. Not a lot of fun.

I wasn't aware that it was dementia until the doctors mentioned it (in passing!) during his final months in hospital. It helped me knowing that the last few years had been affected by his disease rather than my own failings.

My MiL had Vascular Dementia, she became a calmer personality, being a bit feisty most of her life.
She eventually slept longer and longer through out those last years.
In the end she must have slept over 23 hrs out of 24 before she passed away.

My father had it. He kept reliving the Clydebank Blitz, trying to drag us from our beds, to save our lives..

He was a civil defence worker, left his post to do something and came back to find a huge hole in the ground and the body parts of his comrades scattered everywhere.
He buried the trauma deep in his mind and it was only when he developed vascular dementia, it resurfaced.
We knew nothing of it, until then.

My mother lived with us but she started getting violent towards the children so she had to go in a home My late mother in law had the beginnings of it (husband couldn’t see it)she kept buying the same food so there was tins of it

I’m wondering why OP has assumed vascular dementia?
Not saying it isn’t, as it is apparently the second commonest form after Alzheimer’s but surely the first thing is to have an assessment by a health professional.
There are many sad anecdotal examples quote here but everybody is different.

Both my parents had dementia, different types. However they had a medical diagnosis.

My mother was very good at covering up. I spoke to her GP and he was quite dismissive, said I was imagining it, until she ended up in hospital with a broken hip,
She saw a geriatrician, who realised right away that something was wrong.

There is so much very helpful advise here
I’ve noticed sone extremes of behaviour
Not totally out of character but much more pronounced and verging on violent
I was shocked when this happened
Tests are being scheduled by the GP as TIA was suspected including scans etc
Covid May have played a part also
It’s been tricky and unpredictable
Many of the descriptions you’ve all given seem
Similar
I know everyone is different and it would depend on the area of the brain impacted eg by TIA
I’ve raised the general concerns and for Utica diffilct episodes with my GP practise so they are well aware
The tricky part may come if any diagnosis is made

Symptoms of vascular dementia can be as varied as the person suffering from it. For one of my uncles it was a slow and systematic loss of memory. For his wife it was a simple case of being 'away with the fairies' . She quite simply lost all contact with reality and we learned how to live in her world to help her cope with ours.

Farview, just be a bit careful here - if he is saying you’re putting pills in his food, making his tinnitus worse, or causing it, it may well be that he is developing psychosis (of which one symptom is a highly negative state where people start to live outside reality). Don’t delay getting some help; pyschosis gets more and more difficult to treat the longer it’s left. Very very best of luck and you have my sympathy.

I have seen this, so it is certainly grounds for a GP consultation - ASAP as there are now drugs to slow things down. It can also be caused by a whole heap of things, for which a diagnosis is important - don't let them fob you off without a full check.
a) overuse/missing/changes to the drugs that many of take as we get older
b) low blood sugar if he is not eating properly, or he is and they have not adjusted his diabetes medication
c) if he has lost weight and they have not adjusted other meds d) mild and not noticed water infections - my mum had this, a very calm mild mannered lady, she would repeat things, get very cross with the TV remote, snap for no apparent reason
e) undiagnosed cancer (e.g. prostate cancer may only seen as a need to pee more often until it spreads into other areas, including the brain)