Is it always a good thing to be diagnosed with something?

My dd is a bit of a helicopter parent, but unless asked ( never am) I make no comment, with a dil would be even more careful about giving opinion or advice.
Some people find labels helpful but yes most of what you describe was unheard of in my day, other than referring to some with those tendencies as slow, lazy, , clumsy, stupid etc.

Dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD and other expressions are an improvement on slow, lazy, clumsy, stupid.

The 'labels' can also result in getting the labelled person more help.

What's not to like?

Labeling can be useful in some cases, extra support in education, but I think there are too many people that look for a label to excuse certain behaviours.

In most cases having the label does not change anything although you will be told of it at every occasion.

It is positive for someone to have a diagnosis so they can understand their own behaviours as adults too

I hate all the labels.
Yes it gets people into systems so they can acquire help…….but it has them labelled for life and that I can’t accept. So not for me thank you. Deal with something as it comes along please don’t find an excuse and please don’t attack me for this I am speaking as I find. Many people looking for excuses rather dealing with thing’s first.

Theexwife, it really isn't an excuse. The girl is 15 but is 5 years time she will be 20 and more able to understand why she does certain things and will hopefully will have been given the 'tools' and guidance to make better decisions.

Lots of people with addictions (and actually a lot of people in prison) have undiagnosed conditions that they do not fully understand. Knowledge is power

I have mixed feelings about labels. I agree with what Baggs says but do feel that there is too much labelling these days.
There is the danger of some people, especially the young, feeling inferior because of labels, or, in some cases, living up to them, consciously or unconsciously.
But, like Baggs said, there is a better chance of getting help.
Myself, and others on here, suffered a lot of mental health problems when young, and which possibly continued through life, with no help whatsoever. I often wonder if I would have lived a better life had I received help with my mental health when young and experienced a series of shocks.
But I don't know how we could differentiate between those who would definitely benefit from help and those who would, maybe, be better left alone.

I agree with henetha - labels can be helpful but they can end up defining people and limiting what they are going to do in life. One of my other DILs is worried about her three year old GS and thinks he should be seeing someone in order to be 'diagnosed' - he is a sweet little boy and his father is quite socially awkward (but a lovely and very funny person - also highly intelligent) and I think the child is probably much the same. And help is good for some people but could be damaging for others.

No one would get on very well in a supermarket without labels!

As a neurodiverse person myself, with a daughter with adhd and grandchildren with all sorts of neurodiverse problems, I am really fed up with people’s inability to recognise that Autism is a very real problem and not laziness etc. The sooner the country wakes up to these problems the better.

I also know of a teenage girl (15) that self-harms and has been on ‘suicide watch’ for well over a year. Her parents are obviously extremely worried and she cannot be left alone. She is Autistic!

I am aware that people who might not be neurodiverse are trying to get a diagnosis but people with physical ailments get tested for things that they might have, rather than do have. Believe me ongoing mental health problems are a living nightmare.

Next time anyone sees a parent struggling with a ‘badly behaved child’ apply that label and just ask yourself what it’s like living with a child with a problem. It is very isolating!!!

Baggs

Dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADHD and other expressions are an improvement on slow, lazy, clumsy, stupid.

The 'labels' can also result in getting the labelled person more help.

What's not to like?

The labels, surely, should not be used without having a definitive diagnosis. Otherwise you are labelling people, and children with something they probably haven't got.
By the way, you cannot coerce any good Dr into giving a diagnosis just because it is wanted by a parent.

I hate labels. There are variations and degrees of children’s abilities. There are variations and degrees of children’s behaviours. Labels follow children into adulthood. Lives are ruined.
My youngest son was a naughty boy. I was called into school a few times to be told about his misdemeanours. He was even ‘excluded’ for a week. I thank Heaven he wasn’t labelled.
Today, he is a Neurosurgeon.

All this nuse of the word ‘label’ I’m short sighted, have been since I was a child, has that disadvantaged me? No, I wear glasses or contacts, so it’s been addressed.
I’m fed up with people treating some diagnosis as ‘labelled for life’ in a negative manner.
Most conditions are just a part of the whole person, some may need extra consideration made at home, work or other settings, but please do not lose sight of the whole person.

I think labels and a diagnosis is important as it gives people tools to deal with situations and obviously helps with education and extra help . However I worry that children are being diagnosed too young . Children develop at different times . My daughter was struggling with reading and writing at infant school and because my dh is dyslexic, we were concerned. But aged 7 everything clicked and she passed her 11+ and got into grammar school.
I also wonder why so many people are neurodiverse there days . Is it because of more understanding and less of a stigma and more people approaching their gp.

Peep Baggs 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
If worried then getting any diagnosis will help.Am appalled by any poster thinking children or adults are lazy clumsy or slow .
Am wondering if posters who shall we say, are elderly, don’t understand being neuro diverse? You can be diagnosed at a young age btw tho even if you are an older adult who’s struggled with life a diagnosis helps to understand and be kinder to yourself.

It’s not a label. It’s a diagnosis. Then support that is required can be given to help a child reach its potential. I sincerely wish someone had cared enough to pursue a diagnosis for myself as a child. I am pursuing one for my daughter in the hopes that she doesn’t have to suffer like I have.

Peep

No one would get on very well in a supermarket without labels!

As a neurodiverse person myself, with a daughter with adhd and grandchildren with all sorts of neurodiverse problems, I am really fed up with people’s inability to recognise that Autism is a very real problem and not laziness etc. The sooner the country wakes up to these problems the better.

I also know of a teenage girl (15) that self-harms and has been on ‘suicide watch’ for well over a year. Her parents are obviously extremely worried and she cannot be left alone. She is Autistic!

I am aware that people who might not be neurodiverse are trying to get a diagnosis but people with physical ailments get tested for things that they might have, rather than do have. Believe me ongoing mental health problems are a living nightmare.

Next time anyone sees a parent struggling with a ‘badly behaved child’ apply that label and just ask yourself what it’s like living with a child with a problem. It is very isolating!!!

Well said - and often, having that 'label' (for want of a better word) is often the key to getting the help which is so very badly needed. I understand that no-one wants their child to be 'labelled', but I know many parents with neurodiverse children and getting that diagnosis can open up many new avenues of help and support, not just for their child, but also for them as a family. A child - indeed, any person - is far more than just a 'label', but it is often the key to getting the vital support which is out there.

Misinterpreted Peep PaperMonster and others, I completely agree. As it is estimated around 15% of the U.K. may be neurodivergent, it’s high time that there was better recognition and diagnosis and understanding of this common condition. This should not be considered a negative diagnosis but enabling.

If she is neurodiverse she will be diagnosed as neurodiverse, if she isn't, she won't be...

Conditions don't define us, they help us to be our authentic selves and find ways to cope that work and every neurodiverse person is highly individual

The only "label" I have ever worn as an autistic person is the judgement of others...

In MH it is good practise not to label someone. but it might help your DIL to be able to talk to someone about her worries

My friends DH wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers until we were all in our 50s. (we were all at Uni together).
It's had a huge positive impact on him and his family. They now have much more understanding when he does something odd. They can build in coping strategies. For example telling him he needed to be ready for an event an hour before it was going to be actually happening. When his DD got married last year, making sure he didn't leave the house beforehand to suddenly go for a run, like he is prone to do. A much happier family.

Neurodiversity is not a Mental Health condition.
Neurodivergent individuals do not necessarily have poor mental health.
However due to social expectations and a lack of support and understanding neurodivergent pupils may be susceptible to mental health problems - especially in environments where differences are not understood and respected.
Anna Freud. Mentally Healthy Schools.

Farzanah

^Neurodiversity is not a Mental Health condition.^
Neurodivergent individuals do not necessarily have poor mental health.
However due to social expectations and a lack of support and understanding neurodivergent pupils may be susceptible to mental health problems - especially in environments where differences are not understood and respected.
Anna Freud. Mentally Healthy Schools.

I didn't say it was a MH problem..I was talking about labelling..

14 years ago me and my daughter knew that my beautiful grandson had a problem. His reaction to noise and smell was off the chart.
We spent hours reading whatever we could, most of the information was from American sites. Nothing much on English sites.
By this time he had started school, big problems with his concentration.
Long story short, we were convinced he had Sensory Processing Syndrome. We searched for a practitioner who could make a diagnosis. It was what we thought.
Then the difficult part came: explaining to his teacher and the SENS teacher what he had. The SENS teacher was completely confused and his form teacher actually rolled her eyes 😡
When I think back to the times when he was 3 years old and shook with sheer terror at loud noises I could cry.

DaisyL of course is always better to have a diagnosis. You have no idea what it's like to live your whole life knowing their is something wrong with you.

Since a young child I have had constant pain in my legs and fell multiple times a day. My parents where told it was growing pains and I was clumsy.

I grew up with a large extended family and no one made a big deal out of my falls. It wasn't until high school I was treat as different. I fell everyday and still in constant pain with my legs. I was physically and mentally bullied everyday for 5 years until my bullies left school and I stayed to do my A levels.

My husband always knew there was something wrong with me from when we first went out in 1975 I was 16 he was 18. In my 20's still on constant pain in my legs but didn't fall everyday.

1988 aged 29 woke one morning unable to stop my limbs jerking after a hour they stopped. From then on in constant pain in my 4 limbs and walking was difficult. Our daughter was 4 and son 6 months. 2 months later due to pain and my limb jerks out of control spent 3 weeks in hospital and didn't see my children in all that time. Had various tests but labelled by hospital doctors as a fake , attention seeking and mentally ill. A nurse shouted at me because I was crying you only have post natal depression. Thankfully I went home the next day.

I was a hands on mom but couldn't go out by myself my walking was so bad..My husband just said we will be a normal family and when we went out I went in a wheelchair chair. I used a walking stick for short distances .

Because of the labels the hospital Drs put on me my GP who knew they where wrong as he knew me. Said before I could be sent to see various consultants I saw a psychiatrist which my husband hated being she said my problems were physical and not mental. We used to say I had a certificate saying I was sane. Saw various consultants over the years and finally my GP found the best neurologist in the country at the time in 1992 Professor Marsden at neurological hospital in London.. I was in hospital for a week and they ran every test available at the time. He told me everything I hadn't got and put me on tablets to treat the symptoms.

From then on I had multiple limb jerks which had settled in my left arm and leg and constant pain in my legs and left arm .

Fast forward to 2019 when I moved 100+ to the north west my new GP sent me a neurologist. From 1992 until 2017 wasn't under a neurologists care. The neurologist I had from 2017 until I moved. Ran same tests as in 1992 same results.

When I saw my now neurologist in January 2020 I had had 32 years of limb jerks which effected my 4 limbs since 2000 still in constant pain but now in all my limbs and had 4 months of seizures which could last 8-10 hours.

My neurologist didn't know what was wrong but prescribed a tablet twice a day with 2 weeks my limbs where still..Still in constant pain but the relief of having still limbs was bliss.. He