Male Surgeons behaving like demigods!

During the last doctor's strike, my granddaughter, who's a midwife, had to work with a consultant filling in for the doctors. She said approached him with fear and trepidation but was amazed how kind and friendly he was and with a brilliant sense of humour - unlike some of the docs she works with. It took a while for the staff to get used to seeing him in scrubs instead of a suit!

What’s the difference between God and a surgeon?
God doesn’t think he is a surgeon!
🤭🤭🤭

I lost part of my hearing due to a change of HRT Was sent to see aENT Consultant to claim I’m my insurance He adamantly would it listen about how quickly it happened so I missed out of the payment I am still fuming as it affected my life because working became very difficult and embarrassing having to take my hearing aids infrint if patients

Fifty years ago, when DS2 (then just 2) was in hospital for surgery, I was horrified at the patronising way some of the consultants spoke to poor, anxious parents, some of whose children were very poorly indeed. The heart surgeons seemed to be the most high and mighty, seemed to think they were doing the parents a favour. I was lucky in that our consultant (intestinal) was completely child-oriented and treated parents as equals. I'm sad to learn that some things haven't changed.

The one I remember was from a way back. I had bunions and the right one in particular was horrendous. I walked with a limp, it was affecting my hip due to the strange walk and it was impossible to get shoes. Consultant tapped me on the knee and said - I know all about you ladies wanting your feet to look pretty in sandals. I was gobsmacked. Unfortunately I didnt speak up, but he had agreed to do the operation so I felt it wise to keep quiet.

32 years ago when I was expecting my DS I was admitted with high blood pressure before the birth. After a few days I was allowed to go home and sent with my medical notes. They covered my previous time when DD was born and I had the same consultant, but at that time it was not normal for patients to see their notes. I was shocked to see the way I had been described by the consultant who presumably thought I would never see the notes. When I returned the following week to give birth I showed the offending notes to one of the midwives who agreed that they were unacceptable. She said "And I thought he was one of the good guys!."
I guess they have to be more careful what they write now if it is practice to let patients see their notes! I didn't complain as his comments were not factually inaccurate but definitely extremely rudely expressed. At least the midwife's eyes were opened to what he was really like, but it knocked my confidence in his presence.
However my daughter broke her ankle badly when mountain walking a couple of years ago and had to have surgery to pin and plate the bone. Her orthopaedic consultants were all great, so either things have changed for the better or she just got lucky.

The three most unpleasant, rude and insulting encounters I've had in my adult life were medical doctors. One was a male surgeon and if it happened today I'd have formally complained, another was a GP and I had to move to a different practice to avoid them. They seemed to think they were entitled to say anything they wanted, I felt they were sexist and dismissive. None of these experiences happened recently and nowadays most doctors seem to have been given training in communication skills so, whatever they might be thinking, they tend to behave in a courteous manner and give the appearance of listening. There's some evidence that poor communication skills used to account for more patient complaints than medical errors (Silverman Kurtz and Draper) so it's in everyone's interests that medical staff know how to communicate effectively. When you are talking about things which may be embarrassing or difficult to explain, a doctor who is rude, dismissive or fails to listen can make it very hard to get help but as so many are currently working under terrible pressure I'm not sure if a complaint about an individual is particularly fair or helpful. Should say that I was once warned about a consultant's lack of 'bedside manner' by the specialist nurse before I went in - she was right, the person wasn't a good communicater but they were an excellent surgeon, and knowing what to expect helped enormously. I guess much depends on whether you can find a way to work together to get the help you need or not.

Sago

When I was pregnant with my second child, the consultant, asked if a medical student could examine me.
I said NO!
He asked why, I said that the student didn’t look clean, he was unkempt, his coat was covered in ink stains as were his hands.
Consultant was furious with me.

After the consultation I asked if I would be having a second C section, he said no, I told him my previous obstetrician had said a natural delivery would be too dangerous, he said nonsense.

6 weeks later he allowed me to labour for 19 hours, my uterus ruptured and after failed forceps I had another emergency section, he refused to come from the RVI to the maternity hospital in Jesmond to see me.

His registrar had been told to let the the labour continue, our son was born blue, spent time in SCU and we were told ther could be brain damage.
When his registrar saw me she was crying and shaking. The consultant came to see me 48hours later he said “so you got your own way”.

He was a nasty arrogant man.

I hope you took him to court? That's disgraceful!

Bumface

NHS consultants are routinely treated as an elite; for instance consultants and other NHS high earners enjoy free parking whereas lesser mortals have to pay. The NHS gathers millions of pounds revenue annually from staff parking.
The NHS management do not like staff to be whistle blowers especially if they are low down the food chain. You can end up indefinitely suspended or worse. I worked for the NHS on the clinical and non-clinical side for over 40 years and I saw numerous examples of this. The NHS has loads of legal powers that an ordinary employer does not. Once the unions had been rendered toothless the situation became even worse. Patients are in a stronger position of course but NHS Patient Liaison schemes seldom seem to be much help.

Agreed - these hospital trusts lie to save face and it's disgusting!

Having had 24 surgeries, I have seen enough consultants t last a lifetime, and have been physically and mentally wrecked by them. None meant to 'do me any harm' but they have done over the last 20 years. The first one as abysmal, and it was only when I mentioned the name of another surgeon, which he 'thought' I knew personally did things change. Number 2 though was fabulous - my issues all began with what number 1 thought was a gynae issue - but I begged to differ and number 2 listened to me and did his best - I remember after one of his ops, asking if I could have sex. His response was 'give me 20 minutes to finish clinic and we'll use cubicle 5'. We howled laughing!

Sadly he failed to sort my problem after 5 surgeries so on to number 3 - a further 6 ops down the line and he, a Professor had failed too. My best friend it turned out had asked the UN for the name of the best UK specialist in the field, and I went to surgeon number 4, a wonderful woman in London, who literally solved my problem in surgery in less than an hour! Sadly by then I had become disabled by it all, but she sent me to all her friends in other depts to try and help. Surgeon number 5 did major surgery on me, but didn't actually do what he should have done, which has made me worse and may have increased my risk of bowel cancer I was put on a 2 week cancer referral in the middle of December and I am still awaiting an appointment in my local hellhole. My problems have meant that I have had to have a lot of colonoscopies, and the last one had this awful man - he didn't introduce himself and ignored me completely when I told him that I was in pain and not sedated enough - I did complain about him, but again my complaint as ignored. I am really not looking forward to surgery number 25, which is likely to happen in the near-ish future as an emergency ...

Amalegra, please do not be afraid. We saw 5 different consultants during my late partner treatment at the local hospital oncology department. Every one of them could do not do enough for us and each consultation was open and honest and very much led by us. I cannot thank them all enough for the support they provided us during his treatment. Things are changing fast and they are now highly trained in how important personalised care is and how to speak with the patients. Questions like "how do you think it is going" and "What would you like us to do for you" are regularly popping up through the consultations. If you are not happy after a consultation, it is very important to complain to Healthwatch or similar, how can it be improved if we don't tell them what is happening.

Years ago my late mother had a smallish stroke and we were told to visit the outpatient stroke clinic the next day. My mother was very distressed as her eye was hurting badly, they wanted to examine her to see what was wrong. The consultant put some drops in the eye in question and told us to wait for an hour outside, the nurse said "excuse me it appears that Mrs. S might have Shingles" The consultant snapped at her saying" what on earth makes you say that, she has no spots does she" and left it at that. We had not sat outside for longer than 20 minutes and the spots started to pop through around her eye and all over that side of the face. She obviously did have Shingles. When we were called back in all the consultant said was" oh it looks like you do HAVE shingles Mrs. S" Never apologised to the lovely nurse or anything and she kept completely quiet. Why she did not say "I told you so" I shall never know so I turned around and said to her "you were right of course" He gave me the most stern look ever, and when he turned his back the nurse just winked.

I had a lovely orthopaedic consultant who was a joy to visit. My Dad also had a really kind oncology consultant. Mind you, Dad was a total charmer and used to take the consultant, nurse and receptionist flowers, chocolates, etc! When my brother was killed in an accident the consultant wrote my Dad a lovely letter and he was so touched by her kindness. The consultant my son saw when he was a wee boy was an arrogant pig. My son had some red marks on his face and the consultant was "burning" them to remove them. He was very abrupt and when my son cried out in pain the consultant was quite aggressive. At that point I told him to stop the procedure as my child was very distressed. As we left the nurse who had been in the consulting room with us told me the consultant had absolutely no people skills and she was glad I had stood up to him.

Most of my experience with hospitals has been with various ENT departments. I have met some lovely doctors in that department, but the consultants with whom I have had most experience certainly lived down to the arrogant reputations that far too many consultants have. The first was by far the worst. I first saw him when I was around four. My mother had taken me to the hospital by bus and my younger brother, who was around eighteen months old at the time, was with us as my dad was at work. When we went into the consulting room, his first words, barked at a very high volume, were: “if that’s not the patient, get him out.” My poor mother had to take my brother out and the long-suffering receptionist looked after him. We saw many red-faced mothers running out of his room with younger brothers or sisters of the patient. The receptionists were expected to act as unpaid babysitters by the consultant. On that occasion, he had fiddled around in my ear then wanted to look in it again. Very uncharacteristically for me because I was a stoical child (as was generally encouraged anyway at that time (very late sixties)), I started to get very upset and refused to let him look in it. He, of course, became very impatient and barked at my mother to make me behave. My mother stuck up for me, saying that the ear was probably very painful. Eventually, in 1975 when I was ten, I had my first mastoidectomy, which is major surgery and he was the surgeon. He was a brilliant surgeon, as was acknowledged by future doctors and consultants who saw my ear. It didn’t solve the problems completely and l often had ear infections - even on my wedding day I had cotton wool in my ear as I was using ear drops for yet another infection. In 2010, l had a second mastoidectomy, but this time the consultant rebuilt my middle ear with tiny plastic bones and made a new eardrum with a skin graft. He was one of the pioneers in this type of surgery and surgeons from all over the world came to learn from him. I know l was very lucky but, while being nowhere near as rude as the first consultant, was still distinctly lacking in his bedside manner. One note that he wrote for my next appointment showed exactly how he thought of himself - he wrote to be seen by Mr. X Himself! After his retirement, l saw another consultant. He was mumbling to me while looking at his computer, which was at a right angle to me. I am much more confident these days and politely but firmly said that as I am deaf, he would need to face me. The ENT department of all departments!
I had a friend who was a nurse at this hospital and she told me that the consultants had all been made to go on courses to improve their bedside manner. Apparently, one man had been repeating the course for six months as he kept failing it.
Finally, Tony Atwood, who is an expert on the Autistic Spectrum, said that consultant surgeons were by far the highest group of professionals who were on the spectrum.

win When my son was about 16 I took him to our GP (who I wasn't very impressed) because he was literally sleeping 24 hours a day. I suggested that he might have glandular fever. The GP told me that all teenage boys sleep for hours. I pointed out that this was more than sleeping for hours so he explained that if it was glandular fever there would probably be a rash in his mouth. He then said "I might as well have a look at his throat", my son opened his mouth and there was a pause - "Oh there's the rash" said the GP so it is glandular fever"

i also read that there is a higher than average quotient of psychopaths among doctors, esp male surgeons.

When I had a knee replacement some years ago there was a staff nurse who was very abrupt and not very friendly. I wondered why she had even chosen nursing. But after I had watched her for a couple of days I realised that if anyone was really ill, or just very unhappy she was kindness itself. Always ready with a hug or a kind word and much nicer than some of the young girls who seemed nice on the surface.

Ah well, if only you were the princess of wales. I be all those arrogant medical pigs would be crawling around you.

Stupid post again.

My next door neighbour is a surgeon and is extremely down to earth. I can’t imagine him being any different with his patients. If only they could see him doing cartwheels in the garden with his children !
I recently had two new knees. The surgeon was charming, when I thanked him at my follow up appointment he told me I had done much more hard work than he had to get to where I was with my recovery. Then he thanked me.

I had a procedure during lockdown, I was only in for the day, but the surgeon (who was very young) came and chatted to me, when he disappeared another doctor came in and chatted. `I was in a single room and they made the time pass quickly.
PS The procedure was a roaring success!

Our GP thought my late Mum had had a mini stroke and I had to rush her to hospital for a battery of tests in various depts then a meeting with the Consultant.

He was a huge bear of a man who nearly filled the room and he looked more like a workman off a building site. Really rough and ready. We were both a bit wary of him.

He explained that every single test was normal and then asked about her general health, ops etc. Mum said she had had a knee replacement and he said “well that’s down to age”. Mum said “well the other one is the same age and that’s OK”. He just burst out laughing and by the time we left he was still wiping his eyes! He told my Mum she must never lose her sense of humour and she had made his day and he would be sure to tell his family that one. He gave Mum a huge bearhug and we laughed all the way home.

Modern doctors are taught about respecting patients and thinking about empathy in a way they were not previously. I've been very impressed by some consultants I've seen recently and worked with in the relatively recent past.

I had a female surgeon who was lovely. My case had already been discussed at a MDT and the view was that I had a cancerous fibroid. I had my surgery and the surgeon came to see me later and told me that there was no cancer. Obviously I was ecstatic and for 10 days after when I got a call from the Gynae nurse telling me that I had Leiomyosarcoma which is very rare and aggressive. I’m now having palliative chemo but wish the surgeon hadn’t given me false hope.

All our GPs are wonderful and listen to you. My breast cancer surgeon was amazing and also had lots of time for me, she went above and beyond. The oncologists consultants, however, were abrupt and dismissive. I was just an experiment to them and as it didn't work they lost interest. Fortunately I was seen every three weeks during chemo by a registrar who was amazing.
I now have a different oncologist who I have not met yet due to Covid but I am due to see face to face in June so we shall see how she is.

Having worked in the environment I have to agree in some cases, but to add balance I saw one yesterday who was a delight.

To add balance to my previous post, my gp at my last practice was lovely. In common with Primrose's mum's consultant, he was a huge, scruffy bear of a man, who looked far more like a prop forward than a doctor. When he needed to look in my ear l always had to stand up and even then barely reached his shoulder (l am average height). He was kindness personified and never made me feel as if l was wasting his time (l only see a doctor rarely if l can) and if he felt something was beyond his remit he was not afraid to say so and refer on to a specialist. I always left his surgery feeling reassured.